Buffy
(commenting on the Lesbian Alliance poster Riley just hung):
Is there something you want to tell me?
Riley: What? Oh, yes. I am a lesbian.
Buffy: Well, it's good that you're so open about it.
Giles: We can't let you go until
we're sure that you're impotent or —
Spike: Hey!
Giles: Sorry, poor choice of words. Until we know that you're...
Buffy: Flaccid?
Spike: You are one step away, missy!
Buffy: Giles help! He's gonna scold me!
Buffy: Look at my poor neck —
all bare, and tender, and exposed. All that blood, just pumping away.
Spike: Giles, make her stop!
Giles (to Willow): If those two don't kill each
other, I might lend a hand.
Willow: I feel like I've been
split down the center and half of me is lost.
Riley: You can have the best
time in a car. It's not about getting somewhere. You have to take your
time. Forget about everything. Just relax. Let it wash over you. The
air, motion. Just let it roll.
Buffy: We are talking about driving, right?
Riley: Thought I was.
Xander: Will, not loving the
drowning of the sorrows.
Willow: Not drowning, wading. (shows them the beer bottle)
See, lite.
Spike: Passions is on!
Timmy's down the bloody well, and if you make me miss it I'll —
Giles: Do what? Lick me to death?
Willow: Did Buffy tell you about
the beer, 'cause...
Giles: Uh, Buffy didn't tell me anything.
Willow: Oh, well forget the beer part then.
Giles: Happily.
Willow: The only real witch here
is fuzzy little Amy.
Buffy: I think you're being too hard on yourself.
Willow: She's got access to powers I can't even invoke. I mean
first she's a perfectly normal girl... (Amy turns back to her human
self) ...and then 'poof' she's a rat. (Amy returns back to her
rat state) I could never do something like that.
Spike: You're not gonna do
anything to me. You don't have the stones!
Buffy: Oh, I got the stones! I've got a whole bunch of... stones!
Spike: When I get this spell
reversed, they'll be finding your body for weeks.
Buffy: Oh, make a move. Please. I'm dying for a good slay!
Buffy: It's just so sudden, I
don't know what to say.
Spike: Just say yes, and make me the happiest man on earth.
Buffy: Oh, Spike, of course it's yes!
Giles: Are you helping
me?
Spike: Well, it's almost like you're my father-in-law, isn't it?
Buffy: Riley, look. Aren't they
beautiful?
Riley: Uh, yeah. They're nice. A little dressy, maybe, for
school, but...
Buffy: Riley.
Riley: Buffy.
Buffy: I really like you. I hope you know that you mean a lot to
me. And if things were different —
Riley: Different than what?
Buffy: I want you to promise me that we can always be friends.
And I'd really like you to be there on the day.
Riley: The day when...?
Buffy: The wedding!
Riley: The wedding. What wedding?
Buffy: My wedding! I'm getting married, can you believe it?
Riley: I don't think 'no' is a strong enough word.
Riley: What's his name?
Buffy: Who?
Riley: The groom?
Buffy: Spike.
Riley: That's a name?!
Buffy: Don't be mad.
Riley: I'm not mad!
Buffy: No, you are mad!
Riley: No, I am. I... I really... Wow. Who is this guy? Does he
go here?
Buffy: Spike? Oh, no, he's totally old!
Riley: Old?
Buffy: Well, not as old as my last boyfriend was.
Riley: OK. It's late, and I'm... I'm very tired now, so, I'm just
gonna go far away and be... away.
Buffy: But —
Riley: No. Stay.
Giles (hearing Spike and
Buffy kissing): Stop that right now! I can hear the smacking.
Buffy: Honey, we need to talk
about the invitations. Now, do you want to be 'William the Bloody' or
just 'Spike,' because either way it's gonna look majorly weird.
Spike: Whereas the name 'Buffy' gives it that touch of classic
elegance.
Buffy: What's wrong with 'Buffy'?
Giles: Ah, such a good question.
Buffy: Spike and I are getting
married!
Xander: How? What? How?
Giles: Three excellent questions.
Spike: This is the crack
team that foils my every plan? I am deeply shamed.
Buffy (about Willow's spell):
I probably only escaped because I'm the Slayer. Some kind of natural
immunity.
Xander: Yeah, right, you're marrying Spike because you're so
right for each other.
Buffy: Xander!
Spike: That's it, you're off the usher list.
Buffy: Spike, these are my
friends. Besides, it's kind of my job.
Spike: For now.
Buffy: What, you want me to stop working?
Spike: Let's see. Do I want you to give up killing my friends?
Yeah, I've given it some thought.
Willow: I don't want to be a
demon. I just want to go back and help my friends.
D'Hoffryn: That is your answer?
Willow: It is.
D'Hoffryn: I'm sorry to hear that. Oh well, here is my talisman,
if you change your mind, give us a chant.
Buffy: And the bad boy thing?
Over it. Okay, I totally get it. I'd be really happy to be in a nice
relationship with a decent, reliable — oh my God, Riley thinks I'm
engaged! |
