The plot is mine all else is the property of Joss Whedon and those other money hungry vultures. There is no point in suing me as I am nought but a lowly university student. Nb: there is one bad word used in this story.
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Xander could see her from the entrance of the graveyard. The sunlight set her red hair alight and he moved towards her as if she were a beacon.
He watched as she crouched down by the gravestone to lay down a bouquet of flowers. He drew up next to a towering ash tree and listened to her speak.
"Well, I guess it's time for your weekly update, huh?"
Xander felt his gut twist in guilt. He hadn't visited in over a month, yet Willow had managed to make time once a week.
"I'm out of the wheelchair. Have been for a couple of days," she stood up.
Xander ducked behind the tree, hoping she hadn't seen him. He felt like he was intruding. He often did when he was around her these days. They were both changing and (whether he liked it or not) growing further apart. He sometimes missed the simpler days when it was hust the three of them. Before Buffy arrived. Before Jesse died. Before Cordelia had jumped him. Before Oz.
"Still no word from Buffy," a sigh. "Giles and I went up to the mansion a couple of days ago. We weren't able to get much of an idea of what happened though. I'm sure Buffy's okay."
She was silent for a moment.
"You'd be surprised at the change in Cordelia. I mean, I've told you about her spontaneous displays of . . . humanity. But I really think she's beginning to care about more than just herself. It's nice, if a bit scary," she laughed softly. "I think I'm even beginning to like her."
Xander made a small sound of surprise before he could stop himself. She remained silent for a moment and he thought he'd been cayght out. But she began speaking again.
"Okay, now down to the big news. I love Oz!"
Xander frowned.
"Sure, I told you that a couple of weeks ago, but . . . well, now things have, um, changed. You know, progressed."
Xander sagged against the tree and his bouquet of flowers slipped from his fingers. Another part of Willow that Oz had stolen away from him. Another part of her he'd never know.
"He was so sweet and gentle and he loves me! God, I really _love_ him!"
Xander was numb. He rubbed his palms against the rough bark of the tree. Just to feel something. Just to make sure he was still there. Willow continued to speak, oblivious to her friend's presence.
"He offered to come here with me today, but this is very private for me. I could tell he was disappointed, but I think he understood. Besides Oz, you're the only one I can talk to now. With Buffy gone and Xander . . ."
Her voice trailed off.
Xander's vision began to blur. He jammed his hands over his eyes, trying to stop the tears. Willow . . .
"It started with that whole thing with Cordelia," she sighed. "I couldn't believe it. I mean, there he was making out with the girl he claimed to have an undying hate for. How screwy is that? I freaked. That's the day I ran straight here and spent an hour babbling to you," she chuckled wryly. "Sorry 'bout that. I told Xander I went home. Didin't want him to know I'd spent an hour crying and spilling my guts out to our dead friend."
Xander felt his cheeks burn in shame at causing such pain to his best friend. That she felt she couldn't turn to him.
"After that we just didn't spend as much time together, outside of school, as we used to," she took in a hitching breath.
Was she crying?
"Now that Buffy's gone it's like he's purposely avoiding me."
It's because I love you! It's because you hate me. Xander reached down and picked up the bouquet, looking at the broken stems of the Lily's. He could come back later.
"I miss him, Jesse."
She said it so quietly he almost thought he was hearing things.
"God, I miss him so damn much," she let out a strangled sob. "I just want my friend back."
Fuck all this angst, he thought. We're teenagers, our lives shouldn't be this screwed up. He stepped out from behind the tree to see Willow sitting in front of Jesse's headstone.
"Will," he walked towards her.
She turned, surprised to see him there. She quickly wiped the tears from her face. "Uh, Xander . . ."
He held out his hand to her and she took it reluctantly. He pulled her to her feet. He held her damp hand firmly in his, refusing to let go until she looked up at him. Whe she did he stared deeply, looking for -- he didn't know what -- a sign, something. Another tear feel from her eye, sparkling in the mid-afternoon sunlight, and he made his choice.
He pulled her into his arms and hugged her tightly. He placed a soft kiss on top of her head. "I've missed you too, Willow."
He felt her body start shaking in his arms as she began crying again. He looked down at her, unsure what this reaction meant. But she continued to clutch him tightly.
"We can fix this, Will," he lay his chin on her head. "I promise."
FIN
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