Xander silently stared at the flashing computer screen, flabbergasted at what he saw. he had just paid a visit to his favourite cult message board for "Cars and Bars", only to find a cold three sentence message by the board's host-
'I'm sorry to announce that the "Cars and Bars" messageboard will close by the end of this month. We appreciate the interest of all our posters, and hope you find a new board soon. Love, Natalie.'
The message board host never posted anymore. So as soon as he'd seen the name, he knew something was up. It felt like the end of the world.
For four years Xander had posted messages on that site. Four wonderful years. His post count had scraped 50,000, but what did that matter now? Where were his posts going?
He was most commonly known as 'muscle_man' these days, after changing his name due to to popular discontent. the screen name, a quote from the show, "hey, let's grab a beer. hell let's grab a chick. or we could do both whilst picking off the multi-colored sprinkles whilst performing a merry jig" was praised originally by the board, but was slammed later when readers found it difficult to distinguish between the post and the name.
'Oh, the times,' he sighed.
He'd gotten on quite well with the posters through the years. Occasionally, they teased his spelling, but overall, they respected him. No jibes about him being a loser, or a one-eyed freak, or being Buffy's spineless sidekick. He felt that they saw Xander for who he was, and it left him with a warm, fuzzy feeling inside.
Best of all, for the same reason he liked "Cars and Bars", Xander could pretend that he lived a quasi-normal life. No demons, no Slayer, no Scoobies. Just donuts, w**k and cars. But where would he find this security now?
Xander felt a dull rage flooding through him, and started to hate the massage board. In a flurry of anger, he wrote a long and scathing e-mail to the company, demanding to know why this had happened. Did they care about the interests of their posters? Did they care about freedom of expression?
He bounced a ball off the ceiling, almost smashing the computer screen when it plummeted.
But he didn't feel any better.
He rung up Willow. She'd understand. After all, she'd had some angsty 'net experiences of her own.
The receiver picked up. 'Willow, hi,' he stammered.
'Oh, it's you,' said a cool voice. Kennedy. 'WILLOW, XANDER'S ON THE PHONE AGAIN!'
He made a mental note to kill Kennedy.
Willow breathed into the phone, catching her breath. 'Xander, what's up?'
'Nothing. Just wanted a chat'.
'Did someone leave negative feedback on your fanfic again?' she laughed. 'You know, you shouldn't take it seriously-'
'Will, the message boards closing down.'
There was silence on the other end. 'The one you like?'
'Yes, the one I like,' he sniffed.
'Oh Xander...'
'Yes, I know it's not an apocalypse like you and Buffy and Kennedy and Angel and Giles and even Andrew these days like to thwart,' he snapped. 'But this a problem for me, Will.An end of an era. I feel alone'
'But Xan, you're not alone'
'Yes i am,' he cut in. 'Since I went to Africa, and came back and whatever, you've all been distant with me. Anya, Cordy, Jesse, they're all gone Will. The rest of you act as though we were never friends. I know we've kept in touch,' he added quickly, 'but you don't know what it's like to watch and be robbed of the fancy suffix.'
There was a slight pause. Xander felt a rush of love for Willow. She always took the time to think.
'How do these posters put up with you?, she teased. 'You're so melodramatic. Your name's annoying enough!'
'I changed it,' he grinned,'Muscle_man. Not that it matters'.
'Remember what my name was?' she asked fondly.
'Wiccan_Willow' he laughed. 'Right with the subtle-age. Post count of an amazing sixteen.'
'It's not the quantity that mattered!' she insisted. 'Sheesh. Showoff.'
'Im afraid, Will, he said at last. 'The last day feels like a nail in my coffin. It was part of my life, my routine'
'You could post on another board', she suggested. 'I can google it...'
'Not the same,' he sighed. 'And I'm just a newbie amongst a clique. I sense a lack of the funnage.'
'Yeah, they can be real bullies,' affirmed Willow. 'Nobody likes a newcomer. Just like High School'.
'I should say goodbye to everyone, I sippose,' he sighed again.
'It's not the end. You still have a month to go, don't you?'
'Yes, but....wait. How'd you know when it shuts?'
'Because I've logged on, silly. Kennedy's a bit miffed though. She really likes Yahoo.'
'You're-you're'
'Now, get off the phone and do some postage!', she laughed. 'Realy, Xander, I hope you've laid off the sprinkles. You're getting kinda slow lately'.
Xander smiled, and hung up. Switching on the computer, he entered the site. Willow was waiting for him. She'd already started a thread asking if "Cars and Bars" was worthy of a spin-off.
He smiled, and typed out his semi-smutty reply. He'd faced each imminent end before and fought wholeheartedly regardless of it's bleak outlook.
This would be no exception.
Dedicated to the BBC Buffy Cult Messageboard, which closes on 28th February 2005. :(
May it's legacy live on.
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