Title: Can We Talk?
Author: freak-pudding
Disclaimer: Buffy: The Vampire Slayer and all associated articles are the sole property of Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy. No copyright infringement intended.
Summary: “Um, Buff? Buffy? C-can we, um, could we t-talk?” S4
Author’s Note: One of the hardest things in the world is to admit to someone else that you’re different. That what you think and feel isn’t accepted by much of society. As of one year ago, I was terrified of what I was feeling, but since my coming out, I’ve grown to love and accept what I am. There is nothing in the world that can parallel the terror I felt when I finally worked up the courage to tell someone that I am bisexual. In honor of that, I present this.
“Um, Buffy… can we talk? I-I know we haven’t, y’know, talked in… i-in a while, but… w-well, l-let’s sit down. O-or we could, um, stay… st-standing…
“…S-so… um, how’ve you been? Well, I mean, um— h-how’s R-Riley? I-I know you like t-to be w-with him a lot. N-not that you’re not, y’know, paying attention to m-me… or anyone… I mean, we all know how busy you’ve been w-with the Initiative. And everything. I just, um…
“R-Riley’s great, isn’t he? It’s, um, nice th-that you found someone normal after Angel… or maybe we sh-shouldn’t talk about that…
“W-well anyhoo… I was, um, j-just thinkin’, y’know, th-that you’ve got this great new thing with Riley, an-and Xander’s got Anya… y’know, I really didn’t think Xander could find someone worse than Cordelia, but, I mean, there ya go, with the whole I-used-to-be-a-big-bad-demon-watch-me-ignore-every-rule-of-human-courtesy-and-oh-my-orgasms-are-better-than-yours-and… um, maybe I should… I’ll just cut that part out, ‘kay?
“Look, you know th-that I haven’t been… exactly… Miss Silver Lining since Oz… well since that thing… I mean, I was kinda… I m-made a lot of mistakes like that My-Will-Be-Done spell on you and Spike… Have I mentioned how totally sorry I am for that? N-not that Spike’s not, y’know, sometimes sorta attractive in that whole look-at-me-I’m-evil-and-dead-sexy-Billy-Idol sorta way… Um, maybe I’ll leave that out too…
“But, uh… I’m better now, y’know? I sorta… I met someone. Sh-she was in that Wiccas-Who-Won’tas group, but she actually… she does magic, too, so we’ve been… we, um, we do s-spells together and she… she’s really helped me with… everything…
“And I, um, I’ve sorta… I mean, th-this isn’t something I… she… we, um… H-her name is Tara, and I… I think I… I think that I… that I l-like…”
Willow threw the mirror against the wall with a frustrated sob. The sad pieces fell to the floor below her computer with a mocking crash, and she ground the heels of her hands into her eyes.
Taking several deep breaths, Willow grabbed another hand mirror from the bedside. Putting on a fake oh-everything’s-just-great smile, she began again.
“Buffy. Can we talk?”
At that moment, the dormitory door slammed open and Buffy bounded in, face flushed and eyes bright. Willow dove under the covers, tossing the mirror under her bed.
“Hey there Wills! Were you talking to someone?”
“Yeah,” Willow replied, rubbing feverishly at her eyes when Buffy had her back turned. “I was, um… I was talking to… to myself.”
“That’s nice,” Buffy said breezily, pulling on her pajamas. “Oh my god, you will never believe what happened to me and Riley on patrol!”
“Hey Buffy?”
“Yeah Will?”
Can we talk? Say it. SAY IT!
Willow buried her tear-streaked face in her pillow.
“Never mind.”
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