Giles sat down, book in hand, glasses in the other, ready to settle down after a night of Scooby sitting. Buffy, Willow, and Xander were all too wrapped up in their own teenage lives to realize he too had one. They all had ran out before Giles had even been able to explain the reason he called them all over in the first place. To discuss matters of his newly aquired roomate, Spike. Spike was interesting company, Giles had to admit. When he was desperate enough, the vampire had proved he could carry a semi-civilized conversation. Surprisingly. But the British vampire was eating him out of house and home. He needed to find a better place for him to stay. Perhaps Willow’s, though he wasn’t sure the girl could handle the vampire, even with his chip.
As if summoned by Giles’ thoughts, Spike, yawning, entered the kitchen, pulled out a packet of blood, and popped it in the microwave. Giles turned to give him a regarding look, only to find the vampire was completely shirtless. Giles blinked in surprise, but shook his head. “Morning,” Spike said more chipperly than usual.
“Morning,” Giles replied as if someone had pulled a string at his back. “Why aren’t you dressed?”
“I just woke up. None of the ladies were over and I thought you wouldn’t mind. Unless you go for that sort of thing, Rupert.” Spike gave Giles a hinting grin and an eyebrow raise. Giles turned a deep magenta without even realizing it.
“I do not know what ‘sort of thing’ you’re talking about and I most certainly don’t ‘go for it’. It’s just odd,” Giles stated, even if he knew Spike knew he knew exactly what Spike had meant.
“Whatever you say, Rupe.” Spike reached for a his usual yellow Kiss The Librain Mug from the top of shelf of the cabinent, his back muscles rippling. Giles shook his head again and decided to call Spike up on his “nickname”.
“I’d perfer you call me by my name, Spike. It’s not as if we’re friends,” Giles sighed. He could feel himself getting more and more fixated with the vampire every second. ‘What the hell is wrong with you?’ he kept telling himself. Giles had to remind himself he was scientifically interested in the vampire, it was not like he was trying to hit on him or anything. But Giles rather felt that Spike was trying to make a move on him and he rather found he didn’t mind as much as he thought. ‘Oh dear, you really need to get some friends, Rupert, old man.’
Spike flumped down on the couch next to Giles in a rather uncivilized manner and put booted feet up on the coffe table. “Get your feet down, please! And who taught you how to dress? You aren’t wearing a shirt, but you’re wearing boots?” Spike disregarded the feet down statement and gave Giles a measuring look.
“What of it?” He took a sip from his mug, somehow maintaining his human face.
“What of it? Why, it’s... unconvential.” Giles felt another flush, but this was an intirely different kind of embarassment. This was the kind you would expect and had nothing to do with the growing fixation of the Watcher upon the vampire who slept in his spare bedroom across the hall.
“Unconvential? I couldn’t think of a better word to describe anything else about me,” Spike said with a shrug. “It’s not as if it’s unattractive, right, Rupey?”
“Will you stop calling me these obnixious malformations of my name and I’m not going to answer that question,” Giles replied, snapping open his book as if to close the conversation. He knew it would never stop Spike though and he was partly banking of the fact Spike would continue as long as Giles pretended to be annoyed.
“Ooh, I think Giles’ has a got a crush,” Spike cooed teasingly. Giles hit him across the head with the book, feeling his face burn with embarrassment again.
“You sick, sick man. I have not and if I did, it would never be on someone as white and dead as you!” Giles shrieked. He gave a sastifyed nod as Spike rubbed his head.
“Jeez, I’ll believe that in a million years! If you didn’t like me the way you did, I bet I would be over at Buffy’s getting a good tumble. But you’re too shy to anything about these unrestrained feelings you’ve got for me, so I’m just going to let build and build until you can’t stay in the kitchen anymore, Rupert. You’re going to knock me against the refrigerator and show me how you’re oven cooks, aren’t you?” Spike grinned from ear to ear. He absolutely loved playing people and Giles was getting a little too bother by his speech to mask his actual reconginition of some of the truth behind what Spike so unkindly stated.
‘You... You... perverted, twisted excuse for a vampire, you had better shut that giantic gob of your’s before I... Before I...”
“Silence it with your undying, passionate kiss?”
“Shut it!” Giles shoved his fingers in his ears. “I’m not listening, I’m not listening, I’m not listening!”
“Oh, Giles! You great big hunk of British man! Devour me! Cover me with your sweet kisses! Unh! Unh! Right there, right there! Ohhhhh, Giles!” Spike pushed against the coffe table, rising his body and throwing back his head suggestivily.
“I’m not listening! I can’t hear you! La la la la! You see, I can’t hear a single word!” Giles got up of the couch and tried to walk into his bedroom, but Spike followed him and stopped the door before he could close it.
“Admit it and I’ll leave you alone.”
“I’m not admiting something that is not true, Spike. Now, go annoy someone else with your perverted prattle.”
“I’ve got a much better idea.” Spike grabbed the fun and pressed the button Giles knew all too well as the speed dial number for Buffy and Willow’s dorm room. “Hello? Willow? This is Spike, is Buffy there? Yeah? Could you get her? Giles wanted me to call.” Spike smiled at Giles who stood frozen in the doorway, just watching the vampire. What could he possibly do with a phone? Buffy would never believe a word he said, but... He was still nervous. Spike may be harmless in the pyshical sense of the word, but he could do great harm to Giles’ reputation.
“Buffy? Giles wants to talk to you.” Pause. “Oh, he just wanted me to dial while he was in the shower.” Pause. “I know, I know. But he said maybe you would listen to him. Oh, here he is right now. Giles, honey! I got a hold of Buffy for you.” Spike carefully placed down the reciever so it was still out and could hear the activities of the room. He then took a few paces toward Giles and began his torture. “Ooh, Giles, what’s under that towel? Mind if I take a look? Unh, Giles! Please, stop! You have a phone... Ohhhhhhhh, Giles! Unh... Oh...”
Giles had to stop it. He threw himself at Spike, knocking the man to the ground. While he was on top of him, he craned over to scream into the reciever, “I am not doing what Spike is suggesting!” Spike grabbed him too swiftly for him to hear Buffy’s reply. Spike gave him a slug to the face. “Harder, Rupert! Harder!” Giles grabbed his mouth with his hand, immediatly appalled and a little bit fascinated when a hold of Spike’s very wiggly, long, pink tongue. Spike made another assortment of sounds assioated with love making and then Giles released his tongue prisoner and gave Spike a hard upercut. “Ooh, I like it rough, baby.” Giles knocked him over again, but this time, Spike grabbed his feet and sent him crashing against him.
The vampire and the Watcher’s faces were so close together, they’re heightened breathing was bouncing off each other. Giles had his hands against the ground, his nose mere millimeters away from Spike’s nose. His lips mere millimeters away from Spike’s cold dead lips. Giles felt his warm, heated body against Spike’s cold, dead one. He felt his own lust building after days of not seeing anyone but Spike and other people he couldn’t boink. Giles felt himself giving into this deep temptation for connection yearning inside him, felt all sense of right or wrong leave him standing at the brink of a moment. He decided to make the most of it for now. He couldn’t think straight with all the exitement and lonliness and the like. He couldn’t just let this go. This oppuritunity for some attention to slip him by. He touched Spike’s cold nose with his own, Spike’s cold lips with his own. His hands slid from the ground to grab Spike’s bulging biceps. His knees bent to deepen the kiss, he squezzed Spike’s hips between them. They held like that for a few moments until Giles’ eyes snapped open. Spike looked at him, waiting for a reaction. Giles threw himself off Spike and scrambled away until his back hit the couch.
“Oh Lord... What have I done? Oh Lord... I need to...” Giles looked at Spike, horrifyed.
“Oh good God. I’m taking a shower!” Spike sprinted to the bathroom. Giles jumped to his feet, grabbed his guitar case and was out the door.
“Hello? Giles? Spike? What happened to you guys?” Buffy’s voice yelled from the reciever. “Hello?”
The End
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