Okay, here it is again. The characters in this story belong to Joss Whedon and the concept is his creation, but this script is my work and mine alone. Any characters I have introduced and further info about current characters belongs to yours truly. I have not mooched ideas from anyone and I do not want anyone to mooch ideas from me. Any questions or comments should be sent to me via e-mail. I love getting comments/criticism (helps me to grow as a writer), so let me know what you think.
Additional Notes: You have to have read 'Delilah' and 'Mirror, Mirror' before this to understand who Delilah is. Also, there's more in here about the Turning Point, and I assure you that story will be coming after a couple more episodes. I'm still building up to it. As for this story, it is REALLY confusing and you may have to read it a few times. I personally don't think this one's as good as the previous two, so send me your thoughts on it.
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(Scene opens at the library. Giles is sorting through a new box of books, all dusty and old. He pulls out an antique scroll but drops it suddenly when a nerdy student named Nathan walks in and over to Giles.)
NATHAN
Um, excuse me Mr. Giles?
GILES (startled)
What?! Oh. May I help you?
NATHAN
Yeah. Uh, I'm working on my term paper, and it's about the occult and there have rumors around school that you've got lots of books on that sort of thing.
GILES
In most cases I'd say that you shouldn't listen to rumors, but in this case, you are correct. What exactly were you looking for books on?
NATHAN (clearing his throat)
Spells and stuff. Curses, that sort of thing.
GILES (fishing out some books)
There, this should do.
NATHAN (looking excited)
Thanks! I knew I could count on you.
GILES (looking at him critically)
You sure this is for a report? You don't plan on using these for any other purposes, do you?
NATHAN (answering a little too quickly)
Oh, no. Of course not. Just research, that's all.
GILES (handing over the books warily)
All right, if you're sure. I want these back.
NATHAN (excited)
Yes, sir. Thank you, sir.
(Nathan rushes out of the library, almost colliding with Ms. Calendar as she walks in. He stumbles out the door and disappears.)
MS. CALENDAR
What did you do to that poor boy, Giles?
GILES
What?
MS. CALENDAR
He ran out of here like a bat out of hell. (He looks at her pointedly, as if reminding her that they are standing where the Hellmouth opened.) Oh, sorry, almost forgot. At any rate, that isn't the normal behavior when dealing with you, is it?
GILES
Well, that boy isn't exactly the picture of normalcy himself.
MS. CALENDAR
Tell me about it. He came up to me this morning asking how to search the Web for info on spells and curses. Actually, that's why I'm here.
GILES
Oh, really?
MS. CALENDAR (smiling)
Because of the Web, that is. What, you thought I came for your witty banter?
GILES
No, that would be too obvious.
MS. CALENDAR (rolling her eyes)
Anyway, I found an interesting page and I thought you'd like to hear about it.
GILES (eyebrow raised)
What is it?
MS. CALENDAR (gesturing to computer)
May I?
GILES (nodding)
Of course.
MS. CALENDAR (typing on the keyboard)
Curiosity got to me and I decided to do a search on vampires. This page came up, talking about some kind of point...
GILES (stunned)
The Turning Point?
MS. CALENDAR
Yeah, that's it. (The Web page comes up.) Ah, here it is. The Turning Point. But how did you...?
GILES
Long story. What does it say?
MS. CALENDAR
Something about how the time is about to arrive, the time when...
GILES (finishing for her)
The spirit world will reach a turning point for which its existence thereafter will be determined.
MS. CALENDAR (nodding)
So you know about this?
GILES
Yes.
MS. CALENDAR
What does all of it mean?
GILES (playing with the scroll he had dropped when Nathan walked in)
I'm not fully sure yet, but I know it's not good.
MS. CALENDAR (seeing the scroll in his hands)
What's that? A lost testament of the Bible?
GILES
What? Oh, no, it's not. It's an identity scroll.
MS. CALENDAR
A what?
GILES
An identity scroll. Legend has it that when two or more persons touch it at one time under a crescent moon, their souls will switch bodies.
MS. CALENDAR
Cute. Where'd you get it?
GILES
A friend sent it over from the continent. He thought I'd have a fun time deciphering its powers.
MS. CALENDAR (glancing at her watch)
Well, have fun with it. I've got a class to teach. (Exit.)
(Giles stands there, looking at the scroll. Scene changes to that evening, where it the camera starts out with a shot of the crescent moon. Buffy, Giles, Xander, and Willow are sitting around talking about the Turning Point.)
GILES
When the Turning Point comes, I want you to be ready for it.
BUFFY (rolling her eyes)
You've been talking about this for weeks, and nothing's happened yet. Maybe it's just a nasty rumor.
GILES
It's as real as I am.
XANDER
Jury's still out on that one.
(Giles gives him a look, and Buffy picks up the scroll that Giles left on the table.)
BUFFY (looking at it quizzically)
Shouldn't this be in the Dead Sea?
GILES (agitated)
Put that down. It's a very powerful object and not meant to be played with or joked about.
XANDER
Aw, loosen up, Giles. What does it do?
(Xander reaches for the scroll in Buffy's hands. Giles thinks nothing of it until he looks up at the skylight and the crescent moon. He instantly realizes the danger and rushes over to the two.)
GILES (shouting)
No!
(It is too late. Buffy and Xander have already touched the scroll at the same time. By the time Giles reaches them, Buffy has let go and it is just Xander and Giles touching it. During both contacts, a bright light has flashed and the people involved have been flung backwards. Willow is watching the whole event in amazement.)
WILLOW (after it is over, helping Xander up)
What happened? It looked like lightning struck you guys or something.
XANDER (speaking like Giles)
I told you kids not to mess with that thing.
WILLOW (confused)
Xander?
BUFFY (rubbing her head, speaking like Xander)
What?
WILLOW (even more perplexed)
Buffy?
GILES (getting to his feet, speaking like Buffy)
Yeah?
WILLOW (looking between all of them, utterly lost)
I am so confused.
XANDER (looking down at his clothes)
Oh, no. I was afraid this might happen.
GILES
What?
XANDER
Our personalities have switched bodies.
WILLOW
Huh?
XANDER
That scroll contains magical powers we've never encountered before. Under the light of the crescent moon, those who touch it simultaneously will exchange their inner selves while the outside remains the same.
(NOTE: from here it gets really confusing. Take what the people are saying as what is true, i.e. when Willow says something to Buffy, she is addressing Buffy who just happens to be in Giles's body. The side notes, stuff in parentheses, is always referring to the body and not the personality. Therefore, when it says Xander, it is actually referring to Giles and his personality. Anything mentioning Buffy is really talking about Xander's demeanor, and when it says Giles it is actually Buffy and her mind. It is done this way because you have to visualize the person talking as another. Okay, back to the story.)
GILES
Kinda like body snatchers?
XANDER
Somewhat.
WILLOW (worried)
Is it permanent?
XANDER
So far as I know, yes. If there is a way to reverse the effects, I don't
know it.
GILES
So you mean to tell me that I'm stuck in here for the rest of my life?
XANDER (looking at himself)
The prospect doesn't thrill me either.
BUFFY (gazing over herself the way Xander would)
Consider it an eye opening experience.
GILES (looking at Buffy aghast)
So I'm supposed to slay vampires in this? (Gesturing at himself.)
XANDER
Oh, dear. I never considered that.
GILES
That's what you get for leaving your junk laying around.
XANDER
It is not junk. If you hadn't gone and messed with things you had no idea about---
WILLOW
Hey! It doesn't matter how it happened. We've just got to figure out how to get you back to normal.
XANDER (sighing)
Willow's correct. Bickering will get us nowhere.
GILES
You're right. But like I said before, how I am supposed to slay vampires like this?
XANDER
Unfortunately, you've still got the skill, but I imagine it isn't as helpful without the strength.
GILES
Especially in this body. Giles, a little aerobic activity once and awhile won't kill you. Like running.
XANDER
I only run if someone is chasing me. Now, how are we going to get ourselves out of this mess...?
BUFFY (laughing)
What's the big hurry? I mean, it'll give us a better understanding of one another.
XANDER
I would prefer not understanding you in that way, Xander.
GILES
That goes double for me. (Xander looking at him.) No offense, Giles.
WILLOW (interrupting)
So what are you going to do?
XANDER
Since the scroll has magical powers, I suggest we contact our expert in magic.
WILLOW
You mean Delilah?
GILES
Do we have to? Not to be disrespectful or anything, but she still kinda gives me the willies.
XANDER
I don't see that we have many other choices, Buffy.
BUFFY
Okay, here's a question. How are we supposed to get in touch with her?
WILLOW
Yeah, she doesn't exactly advertise in the Yellow Pages or anything.
XANDER
Then I suppose you all will have to go out looking for her. I'll stay here and try to find a way to reverse the scroll's effects.
(Scene changes to the Bronze that night, about an hour later. Buffy, Giles, and Willow are standing around [remember that Buffy is actually Xander and Giles is actually Buffy].)
WILLOW
How does it feel? I mean, being in someone else's body?
GILES
In a word: weird.
BUFFY (looking around at the people who are giving them strange looks)
Not as weird how people are looking at us hanging out with you.
GILES
What do you want me to do? Wear a sign saying, "No, I'm not Sunnydale High's favorite librarian. I'm actually Buffy Summers, only I'm trapped in this body because I picked up some paper on an empty paper towel roll."
BUFFY
Might help.
GILES (rolling his eyes at him)
Right. I'm sure that will go over real well.
WILLOW
Come on, guys. We've got to figure out how to get you out of this mess.
BUFFY (fidgeting)
I agree. You know, Buffy, I never fully appreciated your ability to wear this type of clothing.
GILES
Huh?
BUFFY (still fidgeting)
This skirt is way too short. Feels drafty.
GILES
Really? I feel stuffy.
BUFFY
That's probably because you're dressed like an Eskimo. Me, on the other hand...
GILES (looking insulted)
What?
BUFFY (nervously)
I'm, uh...I gotta go and, uh, fix this skirt a little.
(Buffy shuffles across the dance floor to a secluded corner. Suddenly someone is behind her. It is Angel.)
ANGEL
Buffy.
BUFFY (turning around quickly, kind of cold as Xander always is to Angel)
Angel. What do you want?
ANGEL (stunned)
Not the warmest reception I've ever gotten.
BUFFY (looking as if an idea just came to her head)
Actually, I've been meaning to talk to you about something.
ANGEL
What is it?
BUFFY
I don't think we should see each other anymore. I mean, you're a vampire, I'm a slayer. We're like oil and water. They don't mix. Well, yeah they do, but that's only in salad dressing, and thanks to Paul Newman, there's enough of that in the world already, don't you think? (Laughs nervously.)
ANGEL (staring at her strangely)
Buffy, what's up with you?
BUFFY
I don't know what you mean. I'm the same old Buffy. You know,the vampire slayer? That's me.
(Angel continues looking at her strangely. The scene switches to Giles and Willow.)
WILLOW
Xander seems a little uncomfortable being you, Buffy.
GILES (shrugging)
Go figure. I always thought it was every teenage guy's dream to be in a girl's body for awhile. (Willow gives him a look, and he makes a Buffy-type face.) You know what I mean.
WILLOW
Yeah, I get it. (Looks up for Buffy, and sees her talking to Angel.)
Um, Buffy? I think we've got a problem.
GILES (following her line of sight)
What is it? (Sees Angel and Buffy.) Oh, no! (She gets up and rushes over to them. Willow follows.)
BUFFY (to Angel)
Yeah, that's the way it is. We should just totally avoid one another from now on.
GILES (rushing over, grabbing Buffy's arm)
Xander, we've got to talk.
ANGEL (looking between Buffy and Giles, confused)
Xander?
BUFFY (chuckling)
Buffy, I can explain everything.
ANGEL (looking back and forth, even more confused)
Buffy?
WILLOW (seeing how confused Angel is, breaking in)
Uh, Angel?
ANGEL (thoroughly confused)
Yeah?
WILLOW
Can I speak to you for a minute?
ANGEL (apprehensively looking between Giles and Buffy)
Yeah, sure.
(While Willow pulls Angel aside to explain the situation to him, Giles slaps Buffy upside the head.)
BUFFY (rubbing her head)
Ow! Hey, you do realize that this is your body you're abusing. You're going to be the bruised one when we get back to normal.
GILES
I'll risk it. What were you trying to pull with Angel back there?
BUFFY (giggling nervously)
Just having a little fun, that's all.
GILES (incredulously)
Fun? You call messing with his mind fun?
BUFFY
It was just a joke.
GILES
Well I'm not laughing. Look, if we're going to get through this we can't keep undermining each other, got it?
BUFFY
Yeah, got it.
GILES (looking over at Angel and Willow, sees Angel glancing back understandingly)
I hope he knows some way to undo this.
(Angel and Willow rejoin them.)
WILLOW
I clued him in as much as I could.
GILES
So, do you know where we can go from here?
ANGEL (shaking his head)
Not sure.
WILLOW
Well, where's Delilah? She'd know, right?
ANGEL (looking uncomfortable at the mention of her name)
She's out of town at the moment.
GILES
What, like on a vacation?
BUFFY
I heard that Bermuda's beautiful this time of year. (They all stare at her.) What?
ANGEL
She had some demons to bury. (His tone made the subject drop.)
GILES (curious about what he meant, but refrains from asking)
Okay, so now what do we do?
ANGEL (suddenly inspired)
Have you done any lunar researching? Anything about the effects of the moon's phases?
GILES
Giles is probably researching that back at the library.
ANGEL
Let's go.
(Scene changes to the library that night. Xander is going over books and charts of the moon. Angel, Buffy, Giles, and Willow all enter.)
GILES
Giles, have you found anything yet?
XANDER
Perhaps. It seems the spell is rather easy to revert. All it takes is to reverse the actions of when we were switched under the light of another crescent moon in the same position as it was previous. (Looks up through the skylight at the moon.) Unfortunately, the moon has moved quite a ways out of position so we won't be able to reverse it tonight.
GILES
What?! Isn't there anything we can do?
BUFFY
Yeah, I mean, it was fun at first, but it's moved past that. Now we've just entered the Twilight Zone, and I'd really like to be me again, thank you very much.
XANDER
Like it or not, we're stuck like this for another day.
WILLOW
Um, guys? It's getting kind of late. I think our parents will wonder where we are.
GILES
Right. Mom will freak if I don't go home soon.
ANGEL
Buffy, you can't go home.
GILES
What? Oh, yeah. So what are we supposed to do?
XANDER
Well, I suppose I will have to go to Xander's house, and he'll...
BUFFY (finishing for him)
Have to go to Buffy's digs. Yeah, I got it.
WILLOW
It's only for one night, right? Or at least until you get this fixed.
ANGEL (staring up through the skylight)
There are only two more crescents before the next phase begins.
GILES
That's fine then. Two more chances, right?
XANDER
Not necessarily.
GILES (disbelieving)
What?
XANDER
The reversal will only work if the light of the moon can be clearly seen, meaning that any overcast nullifies any actions we may take to end the spell. We'd all better pray that there's a clear night.
WILLOW
Why?
XANDER
Because unless we switch back in the next two days, we could be stuck like this forever.
(Scene ends. The next scene begins at school the next day, with Willow and Buffy at Willow's locker.)
WILLOW
Xander, can I ask you a question?
BUFFY (hushing her)
Shh. I'm supposed to be Buffy, remember?
WILLOW (rolling her eyes)
Okay. Buffy, can I ask you a question?
BUFFY
Sure, shoot.
WILLOW
Do you like being in Buffy's body?
BUFFY (looking shocked)
What? Of course not. (Willow stares at him for a minute.) Well, okay, at first. But spandex is a much better concept when it's on other people. (Writches around uncomfortably.)
WILLOW
And you used to say it was easier being a girl. Now you know how the other half lives.
BUFFY
Yeah, I take back all those things I said about you women. You've got so much more to remember than we do. Like crossing your legs in public and all that.
WILLOW
But we don't have to think about that. It's instinct.
BUFFY
Not for us guys. Well, unless we know the whole score to 'A Chorus Line.' Which, by the way, isn't a half bad musical. (Willow stares at her oddly, and Buffy becomes insecure.) I'm not saying that I like it or anything. No way, not me. In fact, I've never been to Broadway. I don't even know what it is...
(Scene ends with them walking away down the hallway, Buffy trailing off. The next scene opens in the library, with Xander and Giles sitting at the table.)
GILES (rolling his neck)
You know, that little cot of yours isn't as comfortable as you may think.
XANDER
Really? It never bothered me.
GILES
Well it's either that or I'm just not used to living as a Medicare patient.
XANDER (insulted)
If you don't mind, I am too young to receive your Medicare benefits. I don't know what it is about this country, but you teenagers simply have no respect for your elders.
GILES
Whoa, chill there Giles. Just a joke, remember?
XANDER
Yes, well, I'm not laughing. I would have preferred my cot over Mr. Harris's sleeping chambers.
GILES (teasing)
Aw, couldn't you sleep? What, was there a pea under the mattress or something?
XANDER
More like a collection of very, uh...colorful magazines.
GILES (understanding)
Oh. I really wish you hadn't told me that.
XANDER
It's something I myself have tried to forget as well.
(Buffy and Willow enter the room.)
BUFFY
Tried to forget what?
XANDER (clearing his throat)
Uh, nothing. Just discussing last evening, that's all.
BUFFY
Oh, really? (Realizes about the magazines.) You didn't, um, happen to find any kind of contraband, did you?
XANDER
Xander, I have tried to erase my memory of any kind of information I may have obtained last night. Referring to it as 'contraband' will only provide another source to trigger that memory.
BUFFY
Gotcha. (Changes the subject.) So Buffy, how'd you sleep?
GILES (sarcastically)
Great. I just love sleeping on pieces of plywood covered in blankets.
XANDER
I do have a home you know.
GILES
No offense Giles, but I'd like to maintain some distance between us. Going into someone's bedroom leaves little to the imagination, and I would much rather keep that mystery thank you very much.
XANDER (staring at Buffy)
I understand completely.
(Buffy coughs nervously, and an uncomfortable silence follows. Giles breaks through it.)
GILES
So Willow, have you got tonight's weather forecast for us?
WILLOW (heading for the computer)
Not yet. I'll get it right now.
XANDER (getting up)
I'll continue checking my books for any alternative methods of reversal.
BUFFY
Not so fast. I believe you have a class right now, young man.
XANDER (looking up, confused)
What? You're not serious. Are you suggesting that I go in your place?
GILES
Giles, you are him.
XANDER (sighing)
What class?
BUFFY (smiling satisfactorily)
English Literature. There's a test on some book by Dickens.
XANDER
Which one?
BUFFY
I'm not sure. I think it was about a couple of cities or something.
XANDER
A Tale of Two Cities?
BUFFY (shrugging)
How am I supposed to know? I didn't read it.
XANDER (sighing in exasperation)
You are in my debt for this.
BUFFY
Hey, you're the one who left out the rolls and didn't tell us what they were.
XANDER
First of all, they were scrolls, and second, must you meddle with everything in your sight?
BUFFY (tapping her watch)
Tick, tock, Giles. The bell's about to ring.
(Xander rolls his eyes and walks out of the library. Buffy turns around with a happy smile on her face.)
BUFFY
That'll be the first 'A' I've ever gotten in that class. Maybe this body switching thing isn't as bad as we thought. (She sits down like Xander always does, forgetting to cross her legs.)
GILES (seeing the way she is seated)
Uh, Xander?
(She looks down and quickly crosses her legs, giggling nervously. Giles and Willow exchange looks as the scene ends. The next scene opens that night, with Willow working on the computer in the library. Buffy, Giles, and Xander are scattered around.)
WILLOW (whispering)
Uh oh.
GILES (panicking slightly)
What oh?
WILLOW
Well, remember that forecast I got earlier this afternoon?
XANDER
Yes. It said clear skies tonight. Why? Has it changed?
WILLOW
You could say that.
(Next scene begins. They are shown standing in the doorway to outside. There is thunder, lightning and pouring rain, so of course the skies are not at all clear.)
GILES (stomping his foot)
Great. This is all we need.
BUFFY
So now what?
XANDER
It appears that our only course of action is to wait until tomorrow night.
BUFFY (wryly)
That was not the answer I was looking for.
GILES (getting a little angry)
You mean to tell me that I have to spend another day in this body?
XANDER
Essentially, yes.
WILLOW
And what if tomorrow isn't clear either?
XANDER
Then we'd all better learn how to cope being someone else.
(Scene ends. The next scene begins at the Bronze.)
WILLOW
Are you sure being here is such a good idea? What with you being Giles and all?
GILES
No, but frankly, I don't care. I had to get away from that place.
BUFFY
That brings up a very good point about how unfair this is. While I was covering for you in all your classes, you got to veg in the library.
GILES
Contrary to popular belief, vegging in the library is not all it's cracked up to be. It gets really confining after awhile. By the end of the day I thought the walls were closing in on me.
BUFFY
No wonder Giles is so caked.
(A guy walks past and whistles at Buffy. She turns around and starts yelling at him.)
BUFFY
Hey! You want a piece of me, buddy?!
GILES (chastising)
Xander! I wouldn't say that.
BUFFY
So? (Realizing that she has to keep her cover.) Oh, right. (Shivers and tries to look serious.) I feel so violated now.
WILLOW
Why didn't you just wear something more...(She doesn't want to insult Buffy.) warm?
BUFFY
Well, no offense to you, Buffy, but your wardrobe doesn't scream nunnery. These clothes make me feel so...exposed.
GILES (rolling his eyes)
Well, wool isn't exactly my fabric of choice, but we all have to deal for now.
WILLOW
Yeah. Don't panic yet.
BUFFY (skeptical)
Okay. What if Mr. Moon decides to hide again tomorrow?
GILES
Then we can panic.
(Scene switches to later that night. Giles is back at the library to sleep, but is watching the rain outside instead. Then he [actually, it is Buffy who] feels someone watching him.)
GILES
Angel.
ANGEL (stepping to where Giles can see him)
Buffy.
GILES
I guess you found out that we couldn't switch back, huh?
ANGEL
Yeah. I talked to you-him-whoever (Stumbling over how to mention the librarian.) earlier. He said that you're going to try again tomorrow night.
GILES
Duh. Do you think I want to stay in this body?
ANGEL (smiling)
Do you think I want you to either?
GILES (serious)
Angel, if we don't switch back-
ANGEL (knowing what he is going to say)
Don't. Even if it doesn't work tomorrow night, we'll find a way, I promise.
GILES (nodding)
Yeah, I know. Maybe whenever Delilah gets back...when is she going to get back?
ANGEL
Soon, hopefully. What with this and the Turning Point...
GILES (finishing for him)
She couldn't have picked a worse time to disappear.
ANGEL (getting defensive)
Delilah wouldn't abandon us unless she had to.
GILES
Why is she so secretive, anyway? (Suddenly jealous.) And why do you keep covering for her? Hello?! She came after you all pumped for revenge. She wanted to hurt you, remember?
ANGEL
She could have, but didn't.
GILES (throwing his hands up in the air)
I don't get it. Why are you protecting her?
ANGEL (remembering his talk with Delilah when he gave her the painting)
We share something.
GILES
Like what? Recipes? Come on, Angel, talk to me.
ANGEL
I thought you were getting along with her better since she helped with the mirror incident.
GILES
Call me petty, but she did kill me, you know. Sorry if I find that a little hard to forgive.
ANGEL
Well, try. You're going to need her help. We all are.
GILES (looking hurt)
What's the story with you and her anyway? The truth. Was it something that happened back in the day? Did you guys hook up for awhile or something? (Pauses, then speaks slower and quieter.)
Were you in love with her?
ANGEL (surprised)
No, of course not.
GILES (still hurt)
Are you?
ANGEL (staring intensely at him)
What do you think?
GILES (turning away)
I don't know. Look, maybe you should go.
ANGEL (hurt and confused)
Buffy-
GILES (turning away from him)
Go.
(Scene ends with Angel standing there, dejected. The next scene begins the next day during school hours. Giles and Xander are there, as is Willow who is working on the computer looking for weather forecasts. Buffy bursts in the door.)
BUFFY (cheerfully)
Hello, everyone! How's the weather looking, Willow?
GILES (sourly)
Chipper much? What's with you?
BUFFY
I'm trying a new outlook on life. I'm trying to look on the bright side.
GILES
What bright side?
BUFFY
Tonight I'll get my real body back.
XANDER (wryly)
Believe me, Mr. Harris, I'm all too happy to give it back.
BUFFY (cocking her head)
See? I'm not even going to dignify that with a response. I'll just let it slide on by and ask Buffy how her night went.
GILES (bitterly)
Eat me.
BUFFY
Someone got up on the wrong side of the cot.
GILES
You'd be crabby too if you had the kind of night I did.
WILLOW
What happened?
GILES
I had this argument with Angel and being in this body only made it worse.
XANDER (dryly)
I'll try not to take that as an insult.
GILES
Normally, I'd be in the mood for your dry sense of humor, but right now it is just a little too much to take. I had a really rough night, and I'd just like to wallow in self-pity for awhile, okay?
WILLOW (optimistically)
I'm sure you and Angel will get everything cleared up as soon as you're back to normal.
GILES
It wasn't just that. He got all shady when we started talking about Delilah and I am not the jealous type but ahhhhhh! (Screams and kicks the counter, but howls in pain and holds his foot.)
XANDER
Buffy, when I do get my body back, I'd like it in one piece if you don't mind.
(Giles turns and gives Xander a menacing look. Xander shuts up immediately, and Giles falls into a chair at the table. There is silence as he pops a piece of gum in his mouth and starts chewing it. Ms. Calendar walks into the library.)
MS. CALENDAR
Giles?
XANDER (standing up)
Yes?
(Ms. Calendar looks between him and Giles in confusion. As she does, Xander realizes what he has done and sits back quickly. The whole time, Giles is pulling strands of gum from his mouth and twirling them around his finger.)
MS. CALENDAR (glancing back at the library doors)
Uh, did I just step into another dimension? What is going on?
(The four look around at each other, and the scene advances to several minutes later, when Ms. Calendar knows what is going on.)
MS. CALENDAR
So let me get this straight. (She looks at each of them as she speaks.) Giles, you're actually Buffy. Buffy, you're really Xander. And Xander, you're Giles. Am I right?
XANDER
Somewhat, yes. Except that we aren't actually the other person, just trapped in their bodies.
MS. CALENDAR
Okay, I got that part. And now you have to touch the scroll again, only in reversed order than the other night, and it has to be under the crescent moon of the same phase, correct?
GILES (nodding)
And the moon has to be completely visible or the whole thing is toast.
MS. CALENDAR (pondering)
This is all very interesting.
XANDER
I'm assuming then that you've never heard of anything like this before?
MS. CALENDAR (shaking her head)
To tell the truth, I thought you were nuts when you showed me that thing a couple days ago. I've heard legends about enchanted scrolls, but I never put much thought into them. All the details that I've ever heard have been pretty sketchy. For the most part I assumed they were just old wives' tales.
XANDER
I'm afraid they're much more real than that. (Turning to Willow.)
Willow, do you have tonight's weather forecast up?
WILLOW (looking worried)
Uh, yeah.
BUFFY
That doesn't sound good.
WILLOW
It's not. They're calling for clouds all evening.
GILES (a little frayed)
You're joking, right?
WILLOW
I wish I was, but that's what it says.
BUFFY (trying to smile)
Hey, weathermen are always wrong. I remember one time they called for a foot of snow and it was 80 degrees out. (They all look at him.) Okay, I'm exaggerating a little, but you get the point.
GILES
The only point that I'm getting is that someone up there really doesn't like us.
WILLOW
Look at it this way. Yesterday they said it would be clear and it wasn't. Maybe they always say the opposite of what is true and tonight will be clear. Then again, it is cloudy outside right now...
BUFFY (sarcastically)
That's it, Willow. Way to keep the faith.
XANDER
In any case, I think we should hope for the best and expect the worst.
MS. CALENDAR
Sorry to change the subject, but I just thought of something.
XANDER
What?
MS. CALENDAR
How is Buffy going to fight vampires if she's not Buffy anymore?
GILES
See? I'm not the only one worried about the future here.
XANDER
That's a good question. I've been so wrapped up in this that I never gave it much thought.
MS. CALENDAR
I was just wondering, what with this Turning Point coming and everything.
GILES (exasperated)
Why is everyone so hung up on this thing?
XANDER
It's big news, Buffy. It means a dramatic change in the demon world as we know it.
GILES (disbelieving)
Oooh, I'm scared.
XANDER (dryly)
And well you should be.
GILES (getting hostile)
Maybe I would be if you told me a little more about it.
XANDER
I've tried, but in case you haven't noticed, we've had other problems.
GILES (rolling his eyes)
Yeah, I know. Witches who live forever, girls with mirrors, ancient scrolls. But you haven't had five minutes clue me in?
XANDER
I'm afraid it will take a lot more than five minutes to explain it.
BUFFY
Look, can we get back to our current problem? I'd kind of like to get this fixed if you don't mind.
MS. CALENDAR
He's right. Concentrate on the present.
XANDER
Right, of course. We can't fix the future unless we mend the present first.
GILES (understanding the seriousness of the Turning Point, although still unaware of what it is)
And if we don't fix the present, then none of us really have a future.
(Scene switches to that night. The same five people are there; Buffy, Giles, and Xander to switch back, Willow to help and Ms. Calendar for moral support. Giles has just walked in from being outside.)
BUFFY
How's the view?
GILES (smiling happily)
Clear as a bell. Looks like I'll be the slayer again in no time.
MS. CALENDAR
Speaking of which, how did you nuke vampires like that?
GILES (shrugging)
Didn't. They haven't been real social lately.
XANDER
It's a part of the Turning Point. They're taking shelter for now.
GILES
See, I already knew that. Why don't you tell me something new?
WILLOW (looking at her watch)
Uh, guys? It's just about time.
XANDER
You've taken into account the time shifts and such?
WILLOW
Yeah, I found a chart that corresponds the exact position of the moon every night at different times. This is it.
GILES
Okay, what do we have to do.
XANDER (directing them)
Uh, we have to go backward, so I'm standing right here. Xander, you're sitting here. Buffy, you're holding the scroll with me.
MS. CALENDAR (looking through the skylight at the crescent moon)
Here we go.
(They all look back and forth at each other worriedly. The camera gets a shot of the moon and then of the scroll beginning to glow. Suddenly there is a burst of light and the real Giles, body and personality, falls back. Buffy remembers what to do and grabs the scroll along with Xander. Another flash of light and the two of them fall back as well. Willow and Ms. Calendar exchange happy glances as the others make sure they are back to normal.)
WILLOW
It worked!
(NOTE: Now they are all back to normal. Buffy is Buffy, Xander is Xander, and Giles is Giles. When it says one of them, it is really one of them. Finally, the confusion ends.)
BUFFY (getting up, rubbing the back of her head)
Nothing like a concussion to make you feel like yourself again.
XANDER (cracking his neck)
Oooh, yeah. That feels real nice.
MS. CALENDAR (helping Giles up)
You okay there, Giles?
GILES
Yes, of course.
BUFFY (joking around good-naturedly)
So did I leave you in good condition, Giles?
GILES
As well as can be expected.
WILLOW
So everything's normal now?
XANDER
Yup. I'm back to being Sunnydale's resident Don Juan.
GILES
I believe she asked if it was normal, and I don't think that qualifies. (Xander gives him a look.)
BUFFY (yawning)
Well, I've had about as much of this library as I can take. I just want to go home to my own bed in my own room.
XANDER
I hear you. I shall see you all later. Willow, ready to be seen with me and my real self again?
WILLOW (smiling, glad that he is actually himself again)
Yup, I'm coming. (They exit.)
BUFFY
I'd better get going too. (Sees Giles and Ms. Calendar standing together and looks at them slyly.) You two kids are going to behave yourselves, right?
GILES (not finding it amusing)
Goodnight, Buffy.
(She laughs and exits. Ms. Calendar has an amused look on her face.)
GILES (suspiciously)
What?
MS. CALENDAR
Nothing. (Tries to change the subject.) So tell me everything you know about this Turning Point.
GILES
Why?
MS. CALENDAR (shrugging)
I only know bits and pieces, and I figure I can be of some use in a crunch. I did help you with the Hellmouth opening, right? So tell me the whole deal.
GILES
It's quite a long story.
MS. CALENDAR (smiling at him)
I've got time.
(Scene switches to Buffy walking home in the dark. She stops,
feeling someone watching her.)
BUFFY (quietly)
Angel.
ANGEL (appearing to her)
You switched back.
BUFFY (defensively)
How did you know?
ANGEL
I can tell.
BUFFY (after an awkward silence)
Look, I'm tired. I just want to go home. (She tries to walk past him.)
ANGEL (grabbing her arm)
We have to talk.
BUFFY (sighing)
About what? Your obsession with Delilah?
ANGEL
That's not fair.
BUFFY (coldly)
Yeah, well neither is life.
ANGEL
Would you just listen to me?
BUFFY
Funny, I don't think I want to hear what you have to say.
ANGEL
How do you know if you don't listen? (She pauses, not knowing what to say.) Buffy, we need Delilah and her powers. She can help us with the Turning Point.
BUFFY (looking away for a moment)
God, it's everywhere.
ANGEL (confused)
What?
BUFFY
Nothing. Just tell me something. Why do you keep defending her? What is it about her that you can't tell me?
ANGEL
You want the truth? (Pauses, but decides to go on.) Yesterday was a kind of anniversary for her.
BUFFY
Anniversary?
ANGEL
Of the night I killed Ethan.
BUFFY (realizing)
Oh.
ANGEL
Yeah. She doesn't exactly like being around me then.
(Buffy nods, feeling stupid for being jealous of Delilah and question Angel about her. He sees the look on her face.)
ANGEL
Look, you couldn't have known. She doesn't exactly make it public knowledge.
BUFFY
I guess. It was good of you to cover for her.
ANGEL (shrugging)
It's the least I can do, considering.
BUFFY (still jealous)
So that's all there is between you two?
ANGEL (smiling at her, knowing she was jealous)
What did you think?
BUFFY (trying to act cool)
Nothing. I don't know what I thought.
ANGEL
I'd better let you get home. Your mother will be worried.
BUFFY
Yeah. See you later, okay?
(They start walking away from one another. Angel pauses and turns to look at her retreating back. He seems sad, as if he feels like she's walking away forever. Then he walks away. Fade out. Show ends.)
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