Angel 6x03 – The Tunnel
Disclaimer: These characters are the property of Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy Productions, and 20th Century Fox. No copyright infringement is meant from this story.
Written by Michael J
GUNN (V.O.)
Previously on Angel…
Spike, Gunn, Connor, and Illyria standing in the Hyperion
SPIKE
Right, so LA is useless. We have to get some outside contractors.
GUNN
And where do you propose we find some?
SPIKE
Rome.
Shot of Illyria holding Lorne.
LORNE
Let me go! I was doing fine.
ILLYRIA
(still holding Lorne)
You were about to be captured by the Wolf, the Ram, and the Hart.
Lorne and the gang in an alley.
GUNN
Lorne, he’s trapped and we have to save him.
LORNE
Ok, slick. (looks up at Gunn, same fatalistic look on his face) What do we have to do?
Shot of Spike and Dawn embracing. Spike looks up from the hug.
SPIKE
Hello, Buffy.
GILES
Well, I believe that the crystal is the key. If we all work together researching I believe we will find the answer.
GUNN
Together, huh?
Shot of Angel lying on the floor in his hell dimension.
BUFFY
Well, lover, I have to say…I expected more. But don’t worry; you’ve got time to grow back some balls. (She stands up, still grinning down at him) After all…you’re never leaving.
ANGEL
(softly) Never leaving.
TEASER
We return to the Angel/Spike fight from Destiny. Spike gets him on the ground, just like the original fight, but this time he drives the stake through Angel’s heart. Spike gets up to walk to the Cup of Perpetual Torment when he hears a voice from behind him.
ANGEL (O.S.)
You didn’t think it would be that easy, did you?
Spike turns around to see Angel standing with the stake firmly in his chest
SPIKE
Bloody hell.
ANGEL
Not quite. That comes later. (Angel pulls the stake out with a grunt of pain and tosses it aside).
SPIKE
So we gonna go another round, are we? No problem.
ANGEL
Really doesn’t matter, Spike. Whether you win or lose this fight, you’re still not the one.
SPIKE
Says the man who just got his ass kicked.
ANGEL
One time out of a thousand. You forgetting all the other times I took you down? Remember when you came after me for the Ring of Amarra? Yeah, you won today. I lost my edge. Corporate living will do that to a man. Even at my worse though, I’m still a champion. Ten times the champion you’ll ever be. I’ve protected and saved more lives, prevented more disasters, saved more souls, done more good in the last five years than you’ll ever do in your lifetime. Hell, had I been in Sunnydale three years ago, maybe Buffy wouldn’t have jumped off that tower. Lord knows you failed to do anything there.
SPIKE
(his voice shaking) You shut your bloody mouth about her! (grabbing the Cup) You see this? This means I’m a champion. The Champion.
ANGEL
One fight doesn’t make you a champion. Whether it’s staking a random vampire or closing a Hellmouth, it’s not just one thing. If you drink from that cup, you’re damning us both to hell and you know it. Go ahead and take a swig. Prove my point for me.
Spike falters for a second, and then drinks from the cup. A ray of light from the ceiling hits him and he closes his eyes. After a minute, nothing happens. He looks around confused, then back at Angel.
ANGEL
Told ya so.
Spike looks at his own body, which begins to flare up and flake away. He looks back at Angel. Angel watches with a smug look as Spike’s body burns up.
ANGEL
Damn, I’m tired of being right.
The ray of light shifts to Angel’s body, which also starts burns up. Suddenly, Angel snaps up in his bed sweating and breathing hard. Cut to another shot of Spike doing the same on Buffy’s couch.
OPENING CREDITS
DAVID BOREANEZ as ANGEL
JAMES MARSTERS as SPIKE
J AUGUST RICHARDS as GUNN
AMY ACKER as ILLYRIA
ANDY HALLET as LORNE
GUEST STARRING
SARAH MICHELLE GELLAR as BUFFY
ANTHONY STEWART HEAD as GILES
MICHELLE TRACHTENBURG as DAWN
GLENN QUINN as DOYLE
SARAH POLLEY as HEATHER
ACT I
SCENE
Dawn and Giles are sitting at a table researching. Illyria stands at the end of the table watching them. Gunn is on the phone speaking to someone. Buffy is pacing back and forth. Spike is sitting in a chair looking out a window. Lorne is sitting on the couch watching television.
GUNN
Yeah Connor, we found them. We’re working on the crystal thing now. Shouldn’t be too much longer. What’s that? You staked how many vamps? Alright, just don’t go getting yourself killed before your old man gets back. Yeah, I’ll call you if we have more. Bye.
BUFFY
Old man?
GUNN
(trying to cover the slip) Ummm…yeah, Angel’s pushing 280 right? How much older do you need to get?
BUFFY
No, you said…nevermind. Who was that?
GUNN
Connor? He’s an…associate.
ILLYRIA
(cutting into the conversation) All of this standing around has become tiresome. I want to pound something.
SPIKE
Glad someone said it. (standing up) Thinking I’m going to go out and patrol the streets a bit. Blow off some steam.
GILES
Spike, if you don’t mind, I’d prefer that all of you stay here. Illyria especially. If this matter is as urgent as you make it out to be, I want us all here ready to move if Dawn and I make a breakthrough.
BUFFY
Also, if you don’t mind my saying, you can’t always work out your aggression by beating on something. Rushing into a fight isn’t always the best idea.
SPIKE
(interrupting) This from Fuhrer Buffy.
BUFFY
What’s that supposed to mean?
Before that potential argument gets any worse, Giles’s phone rings. Dawn goes to the kitchen to answer it. There’s yet another long uncomfortable silence.
GUNN
(walking over to the research table) Hey Old English…
GILES
(taking off his glasses, this is obviously not the first time Gunn has called him this) Giles. Giles. My name is Rupert Giles.
GUNN
Yeah, whatever. I hate to sound ungrateful for your help on this Angel deal, but we are feeling kind of useless at the moment.
LORNE
(not looking away from his channel surfing) About as useless as a sandwich is to Lara Flynn Boyle.
GUNN
Thanks Lorne. Seriously though, you’ve been at this for hours and haven’t found anything we didn’t already. I’m doubting you’ll be saying ‘eureka’ anytime soon. Maybe a little action would pick up morale a bit.
DAWN
(returning from the kitchen) How about a search and rescue mission?
BUFFY
What’s up?
DAWN
That was the coven. They located another Slayer right here in Rome. The seers say she’s at a club downtown.
GILES
She’s been here all this time and the coven just now located her?
DAWN
I don’t know. Maybe she’s an exchange student or something, but that’s not the issue. They did a locator spell. She’s at Bambini Della Notte.
BUFFY
(eyes widening) The vamp club?
GUNN
The hell? There’s vampire clubs now?
LORNE
Yeah, next thing you know, there’ll be demon karaoke bars. Oh wait.
Gunn shoots him a look.
SPIKE
So we got a Slayer who doesn’t know she’s a Slayer surrounded by vampires. Sounds like a good time. Let’s go.
BUFFY
No. I mean, Gunn and I can handle this.
GUNN
We will?
SPIKE
I think you’d want to go into this at full strength, Slayer. Safety in numbers and all that.
BUFFY
(slightly babbling) No, it’s just that...well you’re a vampire and…she might…get a little confused in the commotion and stake you. Remember what happened with Dana?
SPIKE
Appreciate the concern for me, but I think I’ll be okay.
BUFFY
Spike, this isn’t a debate. This is our thing, so we do it my way. (turning to Gunn) I’ll grab some weapons.
GUNN
Just you and me against an army of vamps, trying to find a girl we’ve never met. (rolling his eyes) Well, I’ve done stupider things.
Spike slumps back into his seat, clearly agitated.
LORNE
Well Spikester, it may not be dusty goodness, but if you’re getting all stir crazy, I could use a drink.
SPIKE
(standing and putting on his coat) I could use ten. Let’s go.
As he and Lorne prepare to leave, Buffy returns to the living room carrying stakes, her scythe from Sunnydale, and a sword.
BUFFY
There’s a couple of places here that cater to the undead crowd. This club is one of them. I’m guessing she’s a tourist because the local humans don’t frequent these places. Here, I figured you’d want a sword.
GUNN
Assuming the man wants the phallic symbol. Yeah, you’re not stereotyping at all. I’d prefer something in a battle-axe if you have it.
GILES
Well if Buffy and Gunn are going out on this mission, I guess you can all step out for a bit. (holds his hand up to block Illyria, who was moving towards the door) Except you, I’m afraid. I think I’m getting somewhere and I’d like you to test your powers a tad if I’m right about this.
ILLYRIA
Fine. I will stay. Perhaps I could accelerate time so you would not waste so much of it cleaning your spectacles.
Dawn and Buffy look at Illyria with wide eyes. The boys all smirk.
LORNE
Doth my ears deceive me or did her royal blueness just make a joke?
SPIKE
First time for everything. Let’s go. The pints await.
GILES
(handing Spike a cell phone) Take this. I’ll call if I have anything before you get back. Buffy, do be careful.
BUFFY
Always.
Lorne, Spike, Buffy, and Gunn all walk out.
GILES
Wait…what is…eureka!
SCENE
Angel is walking around his kitchen when he sees Buffy standing in the sunroom in a dress, the same dress she was wearing when the Master killed her on Prophecy Girl.
ANGEL
I like your dress.
BUFFY
It’s pretty, isn’t it? (licking her lips) Couldn’t you just eat me up?
Buffy vamps out. Dramatic music swells as the camera zooms in on Angel’s face.
ANGEL
Okay, this is beginning to get a little tedious.
END ACT I
ACT II
SCENE
Buffy and Gunn are walking to the club where the Slayer is said to be.
GUNN
I didn’t want to make a big deal of it back there because I know there’s a little baggage on the issue, but we really should have brought Spike.
BUFFY
I just…can’t deal with him at the moment. He’s so focused on helping Angel. It’s a bit jarring to see. The man comes back from the dead and chooses to stay with his biggest rival over coming back to me. I just don’t understand.
GUNN
From what I understand, you moved on to scorching the sheets with someone else.
BUFFY
That’s beside the point. He still…he owed it to me to tell me.
GUNN
So you’re going to let your bitterness put this girl’s life in danger? Smooth. Look, I can hold my own, but I’m not jonesing for a Butch Cassidy with a bunch of vamps. This is how brothers die in those cheesy ass horror flicks.
Buffy is silent as they continue to walk. Buffy stops and points at a club.
BUFFY
This is it.
SCENE
Lorne and Spike are sitting at a table in a bar. There are at least a half dozen empty martini glasses at the table. Lorne is sipping on a SeaBreeze while Spike seems to be nursing his first beer.
LORNE
Penny for your thoughts, stud? You’re giving off some major signals.
SPIKE
You noticed, eh? That obvious?
LORNE
Stevie Wonder could see ‘em, sweetie. So spill it.
SPIKE
Don’t really care to. Just needed to get out of there for a little while.
LORNE
Oh yea, you’re a ray of drunken sunshine right now. Now I don’t claim to know much about you or this whole situation and I’m certainly no genius, but I’m guessing it’s Buffy.
SPIKE
(still not looking at Lorne) Not entirely.
LORNE
What is it then?
Spike looks back down at his beer.
LORNE
Well, I came out for a little conversation, but if you’re going to sit there and train for the Brood-athon, could you change into some leather pants? Then at least, you’re visually entertaining.
Spike says nothing and holds his gaze on his beer.
LORNE
Right well (chugs his drink) I can’t say this has been fun because it hasn’t. (drops some money on the table) That should cover me. I’ll get back to my heroic sitting on my ass watching Golden Girls now.
Camera goes back to Spike and we see Lorne walk behind him and leave.
SCENE
The camera is tight on Gunn and Buffy inside the club. It pulls out to show a huge crowd of people dancing.
GUNN
Here’s the haystack. Where’s the needle?
BUFFY
You got me.
GUNN
Your coven give you any specifics on what she looks like?
BUFFY
Said she was a brunette.
GUNN
Anything else?
BUFFY
Nope.
GUNN
You got a system devised for figuring out who the Slayers are? I’m assuming you’ve done this a couple times already.
BUFFY
Well normally the girl gets attacked and I save her.
GUNN
Let’s try to avoid starting a fight. (nervously cradling a stake as he talks) I don’t like our chances here. Let’s head to the second floor and take a look around.
They make their way through the crowd trying to get to the stairs.
BUFFY
Go have a look see. I’m gonna use the bathroom.
GUNN
TMI sister.
Cut to Buffy in the bathroom washing her hands. A girl comes out of the stall next to her, primps in the mirror, washes up and leaves. Buffy splashes her face with water, then her eyes slowly widen. She bolts out the door and heads to the balcony where Gunn is.
BUFFY
I just saw her.
GUNN
You sure?
BUFFY
Not really, but I doubt ninety nine percent of the crowd here would stop to doll themselves up in a mirror. Kind of hard with the no reflection thing.
GUNN
Right, right. You see her now?
Buffy spots the girl from the bathroom earlier in a corner of the club. She’s standing with a group of girls and guys. As Gunn and Buffy watch, they leave out the backdoor of the club. Gunn and Buffy quickly move to follow
SCENE
Spike is sitting at the bar now, drunkenly babbling to the bartender.
SPIKE
She was a really, really pretty girl. No she, she was a hottie girl. She, she had…
Spike cuts himself off when he hears a woman screaming from the alley behind the bar. He gets up and follows the voice outside. Two vampires are trying to catch a late night snack. Spike vamps out and quickly stakes one vampire. After a small struggle, he tosses the other onto the hood of an abandoned car.
WOMAN
(slowly approaching Spike from behind) Oh my God. They were…
SPIKE
(back still turned from the woman) Yeah, now run home now.
The woman reaches out to touch Spike’s shoulder and he whips around to face her in full vamp face.
SPIKE
Get away from me.
Spike strides away, casually picking up a piece of wood and staking the remaining vampire on the car as he does. The shot switches to the final shot in the opening of City Of with Spike’s coat flowing behind him as he exits the alley. The old Angel hero theme starts up…until Spike drunkenly slips and falls into a pile of trash bags.
SPIKE
Bloody hell!
SCENE
Angel is circling his dining room table trying to keep as much distance between him and vamp Buffy as possible.
BUFFY
(sarcastic voice) Angel, when I think of the future, all I think about is you.
ANGEL
(picking up a chair) See, now you’re just being a bitch.
BUFFY
What can I say? I’m mean when I’m hungry.
Buffy leaps across the table at Angel, who hits her with the chair and shatters it. He quickly picks up a splintered piece of wood and tries to stake Buffy. She grabs his wrist in mid swing.
BUFFY
Doesn’t matter what world we’re in lover, I’ll always be stronger than you.
She kicks him off her and into the stove. Buffy gets up with death in her eyes. Angel struggles to his feet, picking up a frying pan, and leveling her in the face with it. He then catches the door to the basement out of the corner of his eye.
ANGEL
The Wrath.
Angel bolts for the basement before Buffy can get back up.
SCENE
We’re back in Rome, behind the vampire club. The girl Buffy noticed earlier is with two other girls and three guys.
UNKNOWN SLAYER
So, umm…what do you guys want to do?
GUY 1
(smirking) What do you think?
SLAYER
Suddenly, I’m not thinking this is a good idea.
GIRL 1
Oh come on, loosen up Heather. The boys here want some action.
GUY 2
I guess you could say that.
GIRL 2
(smirking) Yeah. I’m dying for a taste.
The two girls vamp out and quickly bite into two of the guys. Heather stands there in shock. The third guy takes off running back towards the club and runs smack into Gunn, who is holding up a cross.
GUY 3
Dude, get that damn thing out of my face!
GUNN
Oh, you’re not a vamp. So you’re just some punk kid who wanted to get lucky in the back of an alley.
GUY 3
Huh?
GUNN
Thought so.
Gunn knocks the guy out with a punch.
GUNN
Stupid.
BUFFY
Hey Gunn, where are they?
Buffy and Gunn look around the alley until Gunn notices an open manhole cover. He taps Buffy and nods in the direction of it.
BUFFY
Sewers. Why does it always have to be sewers?
End ACT II
ACT III
SCENE
Giles’s apartment. Giles is standing in front of Illyria holding the crystal. Dawn is asleep on the table.
GILES
Illyria, as near as I can tell, the reason you almost lost control before is because you’re trying to tap into the crystal using your demon essence. However, your human shell cannot sustain the strain of doing that for long.
ILLYRIA
This is why Wesley stripped me of my powers in the first place. My power was too great to be contained in the confines of a mere mortal.
GILES
Which would naturally lead to the question of why you chose to inhabit a human in the first place, but that is neither here nor there.
ILLYRIA
I do not like your tone.
GILES
Care for some cheese with that whine?
ILLYRIA
Excuse me?
GILES
Nevermind. Anyway, I think the key to tapping your powers is basic physics.
ILLYRIA
Physics. This is familiar. Winifred devoted much of her life to the study of this science.
GILES
Yes, well maybe you will be able to understand this. Essentially, you are trying to force the crystal to unleash all of your powers for access at once, but in doing so, you are basically overloading your body, causing it to rupture and if given enough time, explode.
ILLYRIA
Too much…current.
GILES
Yes, in a manner of speaking. The key is finesse, not brute strength. Your body now serves as a conduit for the powers contained in the crystal. Instead of forcing them into you, just relax and allow them to flow, taking only as much power as you need and sort of…shutting yourself off when you have reached your limit.
ILLYRIA
In the past, I never had to worry about how much power I was using. To do so now requires a level of concentration I have never had to have.
GILES
You mean to tell me that Illyria, God King of the Primordium doubts herself.
Illyria glares at Giles, but does not respond.
GILES
Well, a test then.
ILLYRIA
What do you propose for this test?
Giles walks into the kitchen and returns with a butcher knife.
GILES
(smirking) I’ll throw this knife at you. You try to slow down time enough to dodge it.
ILLYRIA
I could dodge that projectile without altering the flow of time.
GILES
(rolling his eyes) Of course you could. (looking around) Okay, that dart board over there? I want you to walk over, pick that up, and block the knife with it.
ILLYRIA
This is trivial nonsense.
GILES
This is necessary experimentation. I’ve wasted enough time on this and I’d rather prefer you be successful this time around so you lot don’t come back here with your tails between your legs again.
ILLYRIA
(turning her head sideways while staring at Giles) Perhaps I could test my former strength by yanking out your tongue.
Without another word, Giles hurls the knife towards Illyria. She sweeps her right hand out with her left cradling the crystal, but nothing happens. She ducks the knife and it embeds itself in the front door. The sound awakens Dawn with a startle. Spike then enters from the hallway. He turns around and sees the knife.
SPIKE
Something I should know about?
ILLYRIA
Giles is testing my abilities. I am…not doing as well as I had hoped.
SPIKE
Right whatever. Just keep at it.
Spike disappears into Giles’s room. Dawn gets up and follows him in, shutting the door behind her. Spike is sitting on Giles’s bed, elbows resting on his knees, looking down at the ground. Dawn stands, shuffling her feet uncomfortably.
DAWN
So…
SPIKE
Not in the mood for small talk, platelet.
DAWN
Okay, so big talk then.
SPIKE
On second thought, small talk is probably a better idea. How…how have you been?
DAWN
Good, I guess. Not a big fan of European schools, but Giles is training me to be a Watcher. Figure since there’s no way I’m going to be a Slayer, being a Watcher is the next best thing. Plus Willow sent me a book of spells I’ve been playing around with.
Spike looks at Dawn with a worried expression.
DAWN
Oh it’s not raising temples out of nowhere and ending the world spells. Just some simple glamours, levitation, stuff like that.
SPIKE
Well, as long as your hair stays brunette, we’re all peachy. It’s funny though, couple of years ago, I never would’ve pictured you as the bookworm type. You were all about the going out and getting yourself in danger.
DAWN
Kinda grew out of that. Plus, I’ve been around this stuff my whole life. Can’t really see myself doing anything…normal. Hanging out with Giles isn’t the most fun thing in the world, but anything’s better than being around Buffy and Morty.
SPIKE
Morty?
DAWN
The Immortal. Buffy’s new…
SPIKE
(cutting her off) boy toy. Yea I know already. Prissy little git.
DAWN
You know him?
SPIKE
We’ve got a past.
DAWN
Is there anyone you don’t have a past with? Angel, Dracula, even that vengeance demon seemed to know who you were.
SPIKE
Still working on that one. Yea, the Immortal and I had a little spat awhile back. Mr. Self Important couldn’t lower himself to brawling with us common folk, so I never got a chance to settle it.
DAWN
He’s so annoying. I don’t know how Buffy keeps falling for these guys with the dark, piercing eyes and mysterious pasts and…(looking at Spike)…no offense.
SPIKE
None taken. Glad to know you’ve got some taste in men. Well, excluding Xander and that vamp you made out with on Halloween and the boy with the letter jacket…
DAWN
That was a spell! Besides, none of those guys sat around comparing my smell of hair to ambrosia and my skin to fine silk. Ugh. At least around Giles, I can hold my lunch down. I bet he writes lame love poems too.
SPIKE
Right. (not looking at Dawn anymore) Only Nancy boys write love poems.
SCENE
Giles’s living room. Illyria is staring at the knife still stuck in the door.
GILES
What happened there? The way Gunn described the last rescue attempt, you were able to open a portal with ease. Yet here you couldn’t…
ILLYRIA
I became apprehensive. Trying to think about not absorbing too much from the gem, I ended up absorbing nothing.
GILES
So, you were thinking too much. I find that rather surprising.
In one motion, Illyria yanks the knife out of the wall and flings it at Giles. Before Giles can yell or move, Illyria slows time down, walks in front of Giles, and catches the knife before it hits him.
GILES
Have you lost your mind?!? You could have killed me!
ILLYRIA
And yet I didn’t. Do you find this rather surprising?
Giles opens his mouth to speak, but has nothing to say in response.
SCENE
Buffy and Gunn are racing through the sewers. Gunn is breathing hard and falling behind Buffy.
BUFFY
Come on, I heard them go down this way. Are you that out of shape?
GUNN
(between gasps for air) Unlike the men you normally run around with, I actually have to breathe oxygen.
BUFFY
Let’s not get into my past. I’m a little tired of having relationship talks in sewers.
They reach the end of the tunnel to find Heather cornered by the two girl vamps from earlier.
BUFFY
Hi ladies.
The two vampires whip around to see her.
GUNN
So, in all my years of doing this, I’ve never really understood the mentality. Why go through the trouble of dragging your victims to remote places before you kill them? And do you have to spend all your time gloating about how evil you are before you make the kill? All it does is give the cavalry time to arrive. Is there some evil almanac I haven’t heard about?
GIRL VAMP 1
He’s right. No more words.
The first vamp jumps straight at Gunn while the second grabs Heather by her neck. Gunn rolls under the attack and pulls the second vamp off, dropping into a fighting stance. The first vamp lands in front of Buffy, who also drops into a fighting stance. Heather stands back against the wall as the fight begins. Buffy swings her scythe at the first vamp, who blocks and hits Buffy’s wrist, knocking the scythe out of her hand. Gunn tussles with the second vamp and kicks her into a tunnel wall. He flicks his wrist and one of Angel’s wrist stakes comes out from under his jacket sleeve, which he uses to stake her. Buffy, meanwhile, is kicking the first vamp’s ass and trying to get back to her scythe. The vamp ducks one of her kicks and sweeps her legs, quickly mounting her to move in for a bite. Suddenly the vamp dusts, revealing Heather standing behind it with the stake end of the scythe.
HEATHER
Whoa.
BUFFY
(picking herself up and taking the scythe) Yeah, they all say that their first time. You okay?
HEATHER
Yeah, I feel great. That thing, whatever it is, I felt a little weird holding it. Supercharged like.
GUNN
(walking over and looking at Heather) Hey, you okay?
HEATHER
(her face shifts from delighted to tired) Oh, I feel all faint and weak in the knees. Little dizzy too. (her arm snakes around Gunn) I think you better help me walk back.
GUNN
No prob. Just hold onto me.
Camera shows Heather’s face smirking a little while Gunn isn’t paying attention. Buffy walks behind them rolling her eyes.
END ACT III
ACT IV
SCENE
We’re in the basement of Angel’s house. He’s desperately looking for a doorway out of the dimension. The camera sweeps around him to the stairs to reveal Doyle.
DOYLE
Angel man, why are you fighting this?
ANGEL
(still looking around) Well, I’m not a big fan of having my body sucked dry every night…(he pauses to consider those words)…of blood I mean.
DOYLE
Yeah, but you run around like you think you’re actually going to get out of here. This is Wolfram and Hart you’re dealing with.
ANGEL
Been fighting them for five years. I think I can slip out of a little hell dimension.
DOYLE
You’re talking like you’re Mr. All Powerful. This from the same guy who was cowering in fear the last few days. All of a sudden, you’re Superman?
ANGEL
Never liked the cape. Color scheme’s a bit too bright for me too. And you’re not Doyle. You don’t know me. You don’t what I’m capable of.
DOYLE
Oh, that’s right. What was it you said all those years ago? You never know how strong you are until you’ve been tested. Was that it?
A white light flares up behind Angel. He turns around to see the beacon that killed Doyle in Hero firing up. Before he can react, the beacon melts all of his skin off. Angel screams in agony as Doyle watches and smiles.
SCENE
Giles’s living room.
HEATHER
(singing) I’m coming out, so you better get this party started….
LORNE
Stop! For the love of God, stop!
HEATHER
But I only sang one line.
LORNE
You see my skin? The green of it? Not all of it is natural pigment. Another line and I’d be puking up sea breezes.
SPIKE
Lorne, what’d you see?
LORNE
Death unfortunately, muffin. Sooner rather than later, but given that she’s a Slayer, I guess that’s expected.
HEATHER
Whoa, I’m a what now?
GILES
Well Heather, that in itself is a long story. Dating back to mankind’s first steps on this earth. You see, into every generation…
GUNN
(interrupting) You’re a Slayer, girl. A super-powered chick who fights demons and vampires for a living. More than likely, you won’t be making it anywhere here Old English’s age here.
HEATHER
So one second I’m a college student in a study abroad program, next I’m Wonder Woman, huh? Well, do I get some fabulous outfits to wear? I don’t want to be running around in mom clothes like Buffy over there. And can we get back to this early death thing? So not liking that.
Buffy goes wide eyed at the mother crack. Dawn shoots her a reassuring look.
BUFFY
Heather, I know this is a lot to take in.
HEATHER
Tell me news, not history, Mama Brady. You people might be geek fanboys for all of this stuff, but how many of you actually know what I’m going through? Seriously, how many of you aren’t completely human?
Everyone but Gunn and Giles raise their hands.
HEATHER
Oh. Well, how many of you have died before?
Buffy, Gunn, Spike, and Illyria all raise their hands.
HEATHER
Oh.
BUFFY
Spike and I twice actually. Good times.
SPIKE
As fascinating as all of this isn’t, can we get back on track? Illyria’s got her mojo back in order, so I think we’re set.
Everyone turns to look at Spike.
SPIKE
(determined look on his face) It’s time to rescue Angel.
Individual shot of everyone in the room looking equally determined until we get to Heather, who simply looks confused.
HEATHER
Who’s Angel?
END ACT IV
END EPISODE
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