i own nothing but the story. And not even the all story. I'm making no money out of this, and infact with this coneciton it's costing me quite alot to post the story, so please don't sue me!!!
This story starts were the last library scene in "Helpless" ends.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
* * *
Buffy looked back up. There was sadness in Giles eyes, the kind she had only seen when Jenny died. ‘What do they mean ‘fired’?’
‘They mean I’m not your watcher. You’ll be getting a new one in a short time.’
‘They can’t do that, can they?’
“They can and they have. Buffy, I violated direct orders.’
‘But that test… how could they do that to me?’
She looked at him for a moment. ‘How could you?’
Giles looked into her eyes ‘I’m sorry. That’s all I can say. I’m sorry.’
Buffy looked down again. ‘I’m sorry too. For everything.’
‘What do you mean?’
‘I mean everything. Running away, lying about Angel, Jenny…’
He looked at her sharply ‘Jenny’s death wasn’t your fault.’
‘It was. I knew how you felt about me and Angel, if I had listened to you for once in my life…’
He got up and sighed. ‘Buffy, I will admit that at times you were… infuriating to say the least. But I never blamed you for what happened with Angel, or for Jenny’s death. And I was never angry at you for running away. How could I? I’ve done the same.’
‘Liar.’
‘Pardon?’
‘You were angry. I could see it in your eyes when I came back. You didn’t say anything, but I could tell.’
‘I was angry that you didn’t let us know you were alright. That we weren’t even sure, for three months, that you were alive.’
‘I’m sorry. I had to leave…’
His voice broke ‘Why didn’t you come to me? When Angel died, when he came back. All the times before, you went to him, or you ran away or lied. Why didn’t you ever come to me?’
He leaned against the table, looking at the bloody cloth in his hand, his voice barley a whisper. ‘I didn’t even know if you were alive.’
Buffy got up and hugged him. She felt him put his hands around her. He was crying now, his head against hers, shaking, holding her so tight he almost crushed her bones. She never felt so bad. Not even when he found out about Angel. Not when Jenny died. She had hurt him so much… and now he lost his watcher’s position for forgiving her and loving her. She started crying herself. ‘I’m so sorry, Giles.’
Buffy lost all trek of time. Finally she felt her body go limp. She could just make out him picking her up, and then she fell asleep, all power draining from her body has the drug reached it’s high point.
She woke up in her bed, Giles leaning over her and covering her with all the blankets he could find. Her mother was beside her, holding her hand. Giles looked at her when she woke. ‘Hei.’
‘I’m sorry.’
‘Me too. More than you’ll ever believe.’
She looked at him with an expression that almost made him cry again ‘Would you take me to the ice show?’
Giles smiled ‘I’d love to.’ He stood up and looked at her ‘Get some rest. I’ll see you in the morning.’
She nodded. Her mother leaned over and kissed her forehead. ‘Good night honey.’ Giles squeezed her hand and they left. She could make out their voices as they went out.
‘Will she be okay?’
‘She’ll be herself in a day or two.’
Joyce turned around and slept him ‘How could you do that to her?’
Giles looked at her for a second ‘I don’t know. I’m sorry’
‘You don’t know? She almost died because of you!’
‘I’m sorry.’
‘You’ve been saying that all night. ‘sorry’ isn’t enough. You almost got her killed, you almost got both of us killed. And she trusted you…” She turned away from him. ‘She seemed to have forgiven you.’ She looked back at him ‘Don’t bet on me doing that any time soon. I’m sure you know your way out.’ Her bedroom door slammed beyond her.
Giles sighed, looked after her for a moment, and left the house. He leaned against his car and looked at the quiet streets. They didn’t look as if anything happened. But for him…
He got into his car and drove. He didn’t even realize where he was going until he was parked in front of one of Sunnydale’s graveyards. Walking slowly, Giles finely reached the resting place of his only love.
‘Hello Jenny. I hope you’re not watching. I can’t even begin to imagine what you must be thinking if you saw… this week.’
He sat down next to the grave, staring at it. ‘What I did… and she forgave me. Joyce was right. I shouldn’t be forgiven. She was my slayer, she trusted me. And I poisoned her.’
He looked at the ground, the flowers he had left there were now dead. ‘She asked me to take her to that ice show, and I tried to kill her. And she asked me again.’
He looked at the name on the headstone again. ‘I feel like a monster. I think I know what’s it’s like to be a vampire with a soul.’
‘You gave her the test.’
Giles turned around and looked at Angel. Then turned back to look at the grave. ‘Yes.’
‘What happened?’
‘She killed him. I got fired. She forgave me.’
He looked at Angel again. He was holding flowers. ‘For Jenny?’
Angel looked down, a little embarrassed. ‘I… I thought she might have liked them.’
Giles nodded. Then got up. ‘Would you have given her the test?”
“Angelus wouldn’t have given her the test.’
Giles looked away. That remark was not much worse than some of the things he had told himself that night, but still…
‘I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that.’
‘No, you’re right. Few are the demons who could think of something as cruel as that.’
Giles turned around ‘Good night’
‘Good night’
He got into his car, and drove slowly to his apartment. He was fired. He wasn’t her watcher. In a way he was relived. He couldn’t stand sending her on patrol, knowing that she may not come back. But giving her to someone else… he couldn’t do that. She was his slayer. How could he trust anyone else with her?
And she forgave him. Perhaps, after everything she had put him through, he did deserve a little forgiveness. But then, she never tried to kill him. He didn’t deserve her, or anybody else’s, forgiveness.
He got to his apartment and went straight to bed. The all time she was with him, he never followed regulations. ‘you picked a all of a time to start, Rupert. Or is it Ripper?’ He covered himself, trying to hid from the glaring eyes of the world. ‘And she still wanted me to go to the show.’
|
|
|
|
Rave
Barbie Girl (Becca)
biscuit07
Filmtheory (Jim)
Malice (Jess)
MebbtheScribe (MichaelB)
Reset (Allie)
Shay (Marrisa)
somnambulist29 (Shea)
Stephanie Loss
Wendyness (Wendy)
Questions?Contact Us
|
|
All stories on this site have been archived with the authors' consent. Do not copy these stories for your own uses without the express consent of the author themselves. Buffy the Vampire Slayer TM and Angel TM are © UPN, WB, Fox and its related entities. All photos on the site are © UPN, Fox, Warner Bros, and/or their respective owners. No profits are being made by use of these images.
Powered with the assitance of eFiction.
|
|
|
