Disclaimer: This story is a spoof of the show. Now many great hollywood figures have had encounters with Godzilla such as Bambi and King Kong what if Buffy had an encounter with Godzilla. Another reason for this story the Twenty Years Ago series is depressing me to no end and i need to write a humorous story.
Note: I own nothing. Buffy and friends are owned by Mr Joss Whedon and Godzilla is owned by Toho.
"This is great we have searched the Master's lair for hours and we still have not found his diaries!" said Lucien to Helen. Lucien was a comrade of the Master since they were roaming Eastern Europe back during the Roman Empire.
Lucien knew he was the next master and sweet Helen would be his second in command.
Helen suddenly yelled, "Found it." She knew with this book their future was assured.
Lucien walked over and threw his arms around her. For vampire couples they were evil yet did lust for each other.
Suddenly the Earth shook. The lair was starting to crumble. Lucien and Helen tried to escape but kept tripping over fallen candles.
A roar like a jumbo jet was heard coming from the ground. Lucien and Helen turned around and saw a gigantic head coming from the ground. The eyes were seemed determined. They tried fleeing but then just when the reached the entry way to the lair that lead to the sewers they felt fire engulf them.
They were ash.
Meanwhile in the library. "What was that?" Buffy said.
"Wow this is some tremendous earthquake!" Giles nervously stated while grabbing some books. "But was is that roar?"
Willow looked out the window and simply said "What is that dinosaur doing out there?"
Buffy and Giles together said "Dinosaur?"
"Yup and its destroying the parking lot." Xander said looking at the monster. "But" Xander continued. "He does not look like any dinosaur i have ever seen. When i was a child i loved dinosaur books."
"Is he coming this way?" Giles said from his book shelves.
"Actually he is now starting to walk away from the parking lot and towards the downtown area. What do we do?" responded Xander.
"Giles do you have anyways to beat 300ft monsters that yikes breath fire?" asked Buffy. "Oh Giles your car has been turned to dust but so hasn't Snyders at least you have good company."
"My car!" cried Giles.
"Giles! Where are you!" shouted Snyder storming into the library.
"Hi Principal Snyder" said Buffy, Willow and Xander in faux enthusiasm.
"Giles. My car has been destroyed and i ordered a shipment of business books for the library find something for insurance. Lets see how good you are. Well don't just stand there look" Snyder said a mile a minute.
"But Mr Snyder we need to do something about that monster." Giles said trying to reason with Snyder. "Plus my car was also destroyed."
Snyder shot back, "We are doing something about the monster trying to get money back for our cars."
Buffy bounced over to Snyder and replied "No we need to stop it before it kills people."
"Right what are you, a monster slayer." sarcastically responded Snyder. "Why don't you and your friends help Giles find information about insurance. Willow you are good at computers see what you can find. My insurance company is Quarker's Insurance."
"Alright", Giles assertively said while approaching Snyder. "Your job is to protect the students not your bloody insurance."
"He's coming this way", shouted Xander still glued at the window with Willow and Buffy.
"Actually i he is a she." said Willow in a loud whisper.
"Willow, how can you tell?" asked Xander rather perplexed.
"She doesn't have one that monster is 300 feet tall you would think it would be enormous." said Willow confidently.
"Oh yeah, right, Xander dumb question", Xander said mumbling to himself with his face turning a beet red in the process.
Buffy turned to Giles and said, "What do we do?"
Augh they all screamed as the roof ripped open above them. Snyder ran out the room yelling "Children run for your lives."
Godzilla looked down and saw a man that reminded her of her former love Steve Martin. She let out a coo and emmitted two smoke rings into the air.
Buffy took a stake and was about to throw it.
Giles just responded in a loud whisper. "It will never go through the skin to penetrate the heart."
Buffy looked at Giles "Giles yeah you are right. What will kill it."
"Why isn't it doing anything? It is just staring at Giles." Willow said hiding behind a stack of books.
A man bounded into the room and just yelled "Goddy there you are my father has been frantic".
Everyone just looked up as the monster started jumping up and down and flailing her arms in the most peculiar way. First one arm hit her chest then the other.
"Sorry about this everyone. Goddy why are you looking at this strange man this way." the strange man cried out. "By the way," he said turning around to face Buffy and her friends, "my name is Steve Martin Jr. This is Godzilla she left our island a week ago and well got lost. She does this every once in a while. She means no harm except when she gets lost she tends to destroy stuff. Think of her as a 4 year old child. She also falls in love easily i see she has a crush on you sir." Steve finished with a gentle elbow to Giles ribs.
Buffy and her friends could be heard chuckling. Xander could be heard saying "Well could be a demon right Willow". Willow just chuckled back "Or an insect." "Oh right" Xander said soberly.
Steve called out "Lets go home follow my car then my plane."
Godzilla roared back twice.
Giles asked Steve "How did you know he would be here. You arrived minutes after she arrived."
Steve looked at Giles and said "Simple there were strange seismographic readings here last week so i knew she would probably come here plus another monster was here last week - Hellmouth. Goddy hates Hellmouth after Hellmouth stole King Kong from Goddy two years ago."
"Stole?" Buffy said inquisitively.
"Stole." repeated Steve. "Doesn't anyone watch Melrose place. Jeesh. Lets go Goddy." Godzilla roard yet again.
"No we cannot visit your boyfriend Frankenstein. He lives on another continent. Anyways the last two times you got together with him you two got so sauced that the two of you caused an accident at Chernobyl," firmly replied Steve.
With that response. Steve walked out the door and they could hear Godzilla moving away from the library.
Buffy stated, "Do they remind you of anyone?"
Willow responded, "Yeah that old kids show Lassie and that kid."
"Wasn't the kids name Zippy or Johnny?" said Xander trying to figure it out.
"The kids name was Timmy and we have a mess to clean up and i have insurance information to find for myself and Snyder." said with great resignation Giles.
"Bye everyone i have vampires to slay" Buffy said running out the door.
Giles just looked at the door and wished that he was with her instead of looking up insurance.
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