I'M SORRY
"Spike! Listen to me! You don't wanna do this!" Buffy yelled, tears in her eyes.
Spike began to struggle underneath her, but Buffy held her grasp.
Buffy tears flowed down her cheeks. "Spike," she whimpered. "Please. Don't do this. Come back to me. I need you," she whispered.
Spike seemed to calm down a little beneath her. His vamp face disappeared.
Slowly, he returned to normal. "Buffy?" He whispered, afraid he was in big trouble.
Buffy's grip lightened on him. "You okay?" She asked wiping her tears.
Spike looked up at her before his eyes widened. "I remember," he whispered.
"Remember what?" Buffy asked, sniffling.
Spike pushed her off him and stood up. "I've killed," he said, looking at her.
Buffy saw the pain in his eyes and stood up. "Spike. It's gunna be okay," she said.
Spike looked at her with wide eyes. "How? Buffy, I've..." he never finished cuz newly risen vamps were making their presence known.
"Oh God," Buffy said.
Buffy and Spike began fighting the vampires, and soon there was nothing left but a pile of dust.
Buffy looked at Spike who was about ready to break down. "Spike, come on. You're coming home with me so I can help you. This has to stop," she said, approaching him.
Spike shook his head. "No. It's too dangerous, Buffy," he said.
"Spike, I can't allow this to happen to you. Just trust me okay?" She asked, grabbing his hand and pulling him out of the cellar.
About an hour later, Spike was sound asleep in Buffy's bed as she talked to the gang about what was happening.
"Is he staying here?" Dawn asked.
"Yes. I need to watch over him. I wanna help him," Buffy said, sighing. "Try and get some sleep," she said, going toward Spike, who was trembling.
Dawn, Willow, and Xander watched as Buffy stroked Spike's hair. Immediately, he quieted. Buffy kept her eyes on his face and made sure she wasn't too close.
When Spike swam back to consciousness, he felt Buffy stroking his hair.
"Buffy?" He mumbled.
"Yeah?" She whispered.
Spike opened his eyes and met Buffy's eyes. "You look exhausted," he said, sitting up.
"Didn't sleep. I don't usually sleep anymore," she said, tiredly.
Spike got out of her bed. "Well, you need sleep," he said.
"And you need to be watched," Buffy said, laying down.
"I don't think anything's gunna happen. Just try and get some sleep," Spike said.
"K. Just lock the door and don't leave the room," she said, closing her eyes.
Spike sat on her chair and watched her sleep. After awhile he grew tired as well. He sat on the floor and rested his head on the mattress. Closing his eyes, he was asleep in minutes.
Buffy woke, well rested. It was about 2:00 in the afternoon and Spike was still sound asleep next to her.
He was still on the floor, but he looked peaceful. She smiled at his slightly boyish face, and began to unconsciously run her fingers through his hair, waking him.
Spike looked up at her. "Hey. You sleep okay?" He asked.
"Yeah, I did. I didn't mean to wake you though," she said, her fingers still in his hair.
"Don't worry about it," Spike said.
"Buffy!" Dawn said, knocking on her bedroom door.
"Come in, Dawnie," Buffy said.
Dawn opened the door and noticed the tender moment she just interrupted. "We found something," she said.
Downstairs, Buffy was sitting at the dining table, and Spike was standing behind her.
"So how so we make it stop?" Buffy asked. "The song is making him tune into a killing machine. The only way to make it stop is to lock Spike up so he can't kill anyone. It can still be triggered though."
Spike crossed his arms as a million thoughts raced through his mind.
"I can try some stuff," Willow said. "I'll look into the magic and see if I can find out how to detrigger you," she said, looking at Spike.
"I guess we should try that as a last resort," Spike said. "I don't want you to get to deep into it. I don't really know what happening."
"Okay," Buffy said, standing. "Keep researching. Don't do anything 'til we know what we're dealing with," she said to the gang. She turned to Spike. "You think you can patrol with me tonight?" She asked.
"Yeah," Spike answered.
Buffy smiled. "Maybe we'll get some answers," she said, as the gang disappeared into the living room.
"I just don't wanna kill anyone else, Buffy," Spike said, running a hand through his hair.
Buffy frowned and ran the back of her hand across his cheek. "You won't. Not if I can help it," she said, softly.
"Buffy, if this thing goes off again, I don't think I'll be able to stop," he said, his voice cracking.
Buffy pulled him into her arms. "You will. I won't let you kill anyone." Spike tried to push her away but her grip held. "Don't push me away, Spike," she said, softly.
"But what about...?" Spike couldn't bring himself to finish his sentence.
"Don't worry about it," she said, pulling him closer.
Spike's arms went around her and he buried his face in her shoulder. "I'm sorry, Buffy," he whimpered.
"I know, Spike," she whispered, rubbing his back. "I am, too," she whispered.
"For what?" Spike asked, against her shoulder.
"If I hadn't of led you on, things wouldn't have gotten as bad as they did. I remember the look in your eyes Everytime I left after... I was so scared. I didn't want to get too close to you because I didn't want you leave. I never wanted to admit it to myself but I needed you for so much then you realize."
"You lost me," Spike said.
"Everytime I left, I felt empty. I would've given almost anything just to be with you. It was killing me. I hated that is was you who could make me feel alive. I was happy and I blew it," Buffy said, pulling away a little.
"So now what?" Spike asked, looking down at her.
"First, we make sure we detrigger you. Then, we figure out our feelings, or my feelings, one day at a time. Deal?" Buffy asked.
Spike nodded. "Sounds good," he said.
Buffy smiled and they headed to the living room to help with research.
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