I'M NEEDED HERE
Spike entered Angel's office. Angel was sitting on his couch with a saddened expression on his face. Spike noticed the look, for he had it when he lost Buffy. "You okay?" Spike asked, going toward him.
"No," Angel said, looking up as his childe. "She.."
"I know. You don't have to say anything," Spike said, sitting next to his Sire. "You ever gunna talk to anyone about it?"
"Eventually. I need to make sure my mind doesn't turn to mush. I can't eve think straight," Angel said, as the phone rang.
"You want me to get it?" Spike asked softly.
"Please?" Angel said, leaning back.
Spike went over and picked up the phone. "Hello?"
"Spike?" Came a familiar voice.
Spike's eyes widened. "Hi, Nibblet," he said, carefully.
"Oh, my god!" Dawn said, tears in her voice.
"Oh, Nibblet. Don't cry," Spike said, tears in his eyes as well.
"You're in Angel's office?" Dawn asked, pressing the button the elevator.
"Yeah," Spike answered, hearing the ding of an elevator.
"Get your ass in the lobby, right now!" Dawn yelled, as she hung up the phone.
Spike hung up the phone with a dazed expression. "That was Dawn," he said, as if not believing it himself. "She wants me in the lobby," Spike said, going to the door.
Spike walked into the lobby just as Dawn came flying out of the elevator. She didn't even slow as she tackled Spike in a hug.
Spike's arms wrapped around her as he hugged her closely. Neither mad a move to get up from the floor as Angel came out of his office. He watched as Dawn and Spike cried.
He smiled a little and looked up when he heard the elevator open again. Buffy came out of the elevator and froze when she saw her sister in Spike's arms on the floor.
"Oh God," she whispered.
Angel went toward her. "I know it's a bit of a shock but..." he began.
"'A bit of a shock.' Angel, Spike is on the floor, hugging Dawn, six months after he died!" She cried. "How could you not tell me?!" She flared.
Angel looked down. "I uh..."
"No, I'm sorry. I know you just lost Cordy. I didn't mean to flip out on you," she said, tears running down her face.
Spike and Dawn finally got themselves under control. No sooner had Spike stood up, he was on the floor again. Only this time, he had a sobbing Buffy in his arms.
Spike's arms went around her and he hugged her tightly as he cried in her hair.
.Angel and Dawn snuck past them into Angel's office.
Buffy lifted her face from Spike's neck and looked into his intense blue eyes. She leaned down and kissed him softly.
Spike kissed her back and tried to pull her closer. He broke the kiss after a few seconds and just gazed and at her.
Buffy smiled as a fresh wave of tears came cascading down her face again.
Spike's hands went to her cheeks and he wiped them away. "Don't cry, Pet," he said, softly.
"Spike, you died," she whimpered.
"I know," he said, running his fingers through her hair.
"I missed you so much," she said, running her hands over his face.
"I missed you, too," he whispered. "I would love to lay on the floor, but Angel needs you." Spike said, able to keep all jealousy out of his voice.
"Buffy got off him and they stood up. Buffy took Spike's hand and pulled him into Angel's office3. She let Dawn have Spike for awhile, and she went to comfort Angel.
Angel was sitting on the couch and he had a far away look in his eyes.
"Angel?" She asked as she sat next to him.
Angel turned toward her with tear filled eyes.
Buffy frowned and pulled him into her arms. "Shh," she whispered, as she stroked his hair.
Spike watched as Angel cried in Buffy's arms but it didn't bother him as much as he'd thought. Dawn was hugging him again, making all kinds of threats.
"If you ever leave me again, you will be in so much trouble," Dawn whimpered against his chest.
Spike smiled. "I'm not leaving. Promise," he said into her hair.
Spike's eyes went toward the door as he heard the elevator open.
Within seconds, Faith was in Angel's office. "Angel," she whispered, when she saw how much pain he was in.
Angel pulled his tear stricken face away from Buffy's shoulder. "Hey," he said, meekly.
Faith approached as Buffy stood up, trying to keep her tears from falling again.
Faith took Buffy's seat on the couch and held Angel as a new batch of tears flowed.
Buffy sniffled as she made her way to Spike's arms. She missed his embrace so much and never wanted to leave.
Dawn, Buffy and Spike shared another hug that caused more tears.
After a while, Angel stood up. "Buffy, you, Spike, and Dawn should go to the hotel. Get some rest," he said, tossing the keys to Spike.
"Thanks Angel," Buffy said, softly. She went over and wrapped her arms around him. "Try and get some rest okay?" She said, releasing him. Then she left with Dawn and Spike.
Faith stood up and went to Angel's side. "Come on. Let's go upstairs, Angel," she said, softly.
A few minutes later, Faith and Angel entered Angel's apartment. She led him to his room, and tucked him in bed. She sat next to him and he snuggled up against her, but he was soon sound asleep.
At the hotel, Buffy and Spike were tucking Dawn in bed. It took some convincing, but eventually Buffy got Spike to leave the room.
In the room across the hall, Buffy was in Spike's arms once again.
"How long have you been back?" She asked.
"Several months," Spike whispered in her hair.
Buffy pulled away a little. "How came no one told me?" She asked, tears in her eyes again.
"I didn't know how to tell you. More then once I thought about going to Europe but thought better of it," Spike said, gazing into her eyes.
"But I needed you. I've never felt so alone in me life. I tried talking to people and the only thing that did was make me fell even more guilty," she whimpered.
"Why did you feel guilty?" Spike asked.
"Because you didn't listen to me or I listened to you. I don't know which one. You wouldn't listen to me and you told me to leave." Buffy started pacing around the room. "I could've stayed with you or you could've listened to me and came with me." She paused at the foot of the bed and looked up at him, tears coursing down her cheeks. "And on top of all that, you didn't believe me," she said, her voice just above a whisper as she looked down at her hands.
'I love you.'
'No you don't. But thanks for saying it.'
Spike looked at the crying slayer and sighted. He went over and stood in front of her.
Buffy looked up, just in time to meet lips. Her hands went to his face and she stroked his cheeks.
Spike's hands were on her cheeks as well, wiping her tears. Gently, her leaned forward, pushing her back on to the mattress.
They broke apart, both gasping for breath.
"God, Spike, I need you," she moaned.
Spike smiled. "You've already got me," he said, pushing them up the bed. He rested his full weight on her body.
Buffy wrapped her arms around his shoulders and her legs went about his waist. "I want all of you," she said in a husky whisper.
Her hands tried to push the duster off his shoulders.
Spike sat up and stripped to his pants. He settled his full weight on her again. "Relax, Pet, I'm not gunna slip away form you," he said, stroking her ribs.
"Promise?" Buffy said, fear in her voice.
"Yeah. We have all the time in the world," Spike said, against her chest.
"Good. I plan to lay in your arms 'til the world ends," she whispered.
"Fine by me. Get some sleep," he said, sliding net to her and pulling her into his arms.
"I love you," she whispered sleepily, before drifting off.
Spike looked down at the woman beside him. "I love you too, Pet," He said, before drifting off
himself.
When Buffy woke, she was still nestled in Spike's arms.
"Morning, Pet," he said, kissing her hair.
"MMM. Morning," she said, snuggling up against him.
"Guys?" Dawn asked, from behind the door.
"Come in, Dawnie," Buffy said, smiling.
Dawn opened the door. "Hey, you guys sleep okay?" Dawn said, climbing in with them.
"Yeah, actually we did," Buffy said, smiling.
"Do uh, you guys know when the funeral is?" Dawn asked in a soft voice.
"Yeah. It's at 6:30. The gang'll be arriving sometime before then. They'll probably be coming her," Buffy said, in a sad voice.
"BUFFY!" Came Willow's voice up the stairs.
Buffy looked toward the door. "Okay. I guess we should do this," she said, miserably.
Dawn climbed out of the bed and went downstairs.
Buffy and Spike went out to the hall, holding hands.
"You okay, Pet?" Spike asked.
"As good as can be expected," Buffy said, squeezing his hand. "Come on," she said, pulling him toward the stairs.
Dawn looked from Willow's shoulder as she heard them come down.
"Hey guys," Buffy said.
"Hey Buff..." Xander said. "Um... What's going on?" He asked. "You told us died."
"I did, but now I'm back. Same as I was before," Spike said, his hand tightening on Buffy's.
Dawn went over and wrapped her arms around Spike again.
Buffy smiled and reluctantly left them to discuss Cordy with her friends.
"How's Angel?" Willow asked.
Buffy shook her head. "He's taking it pretty hard. Faith took him to his apartment. I hope she at least got him to sleep," she said, her voice saddened.
"You guys don't even know the half of it," Spike said, breaking the embrace with Dawn.
"Whadda you mean?" Willow asked.
"She did wake up," Spike said, sitting on the couch.
Buffy went over and sat next to him. "Angel told us the doctor said she didn't," she said, confused.
"The doctors were made to forget. She woke up and helped me and Angel. Angel was with her and from what I know, they said goodbye and The Powers made it look like she died in her sleep. So he's pretty shook up," Spike said, rubbing a hand over his weary face.
"I've never seen him this upset," Buffy said, leaning against Spike.
"He was when I told him about you," Willow said, softly.
"We were all like that," Spike said, stroking Buffy's hair.
Buffy looked up at him and he looked like he was gunna cry.
The phone on the counter rang. Willow picked it up. "Hello?.. Hi Angel.. Oh, yeah." She
looked at Spike. "He wants to talk to you."
Spike got up and took the phone from Willow. "Hey. You okay?"
Buffy raise an eyebrow and crossed her arms over her legs.
Spike put a hand on the counter and took a deep breath. "I know. No, don't do that. Angel," Spike growled. "Just relax for a minute," Spike said, calming down.
Buffy stood up and went to Spike. "He okay?"
"I'm not sure. Angel how much sleep did you get?" Spike asked.
"Not enough," came Faith's voice.
Spike rolled his eyes. "Listen, get some more sleep." Spike listened for a minute. "I know. We'll be there. Don't worry," Spike said, hanging up the phone.
Buffy looked up at him. "Well?"
"He's fine," Spike said, kissing her forehead.
"Forgive me if I sound weird. You just had a civil conversation with Angel and you sounded concerned," Buffy said, with a raised eyebrow.
"We've come to an understanding of sorts," Spike said, running a finger down her jaw.
"Uh- huh," Buffy said, with a small smile.
Dawn came up to Spike. "So, how long were in L.A.?" She asked.
"A while, Dawn," Spike said, averting his eyes away form her.
"Why didn't you call us?" Dawn asked, crossing her arms.
Spike looked at Buffy who smiled. "Nope. You can tell her yourself," she said, kissing him before walking away.
"Spike looked at Dawn. "Listen, Dawn," he said.
"Spike, you basically lied to us. We needed you," Dawn said, tears in her eyes.
"That's what Buffy said. I just couldn't drop back into your lives," Spike said.
"Yes you could. You always used to." Dawn snuffled before glaring at him. "You told Andrew to keep it a secret."
"Yeah. I was gunna take care of it eventually," Spike said.
Dawn's tears spilled down her cheeks. "We missed you. You've been alive all this time. Buffy and I tried to go on with out you. We've been trying to put our lives back together. Why do you think we were in Europe?" She flared.
"Look, you guys needed to move on. You just needed to try and do this with out me," Spike said, softly.
"How are we supposed to do that?" Dawn asked. "How can we go home without you?"
"Nibblet, I love you and Buffy both. You guys have a life back in Rome. I'm needed here," Spike said.
Dawn started sobbing. Spike wrapped his arms around her. "Buffy and I need you," she said, into his chest.
Buffy looked over at them and frowned. She went over and laid a hand on Dawn's shoulder. "Dawnie, you okay?" She asked, looking at Spike.
"He's not coming home with us," Dawn whimpered, still buried in her chest.
Buffy stroked her sister's hair. "We'll sort this out later," she said, gently.
Dawn reluctantly pulled away from Spike and went to calm down.
Buffy looked at Spike. "You're not coming home with us?" She asked, carefully.
Spike shook his head. "No. Your and Dawn have a life back in Rome and I'm needed here," Spike said, softly.
Buffy eyes filled with tears. "After the funeral, we need to figure this our, because I'm living with out you again."
Later, after the funeral, the gang all came back to the hotel. Immediately, Faith took Angel upstairs.
Everyone else also tried to get some sleep.
Buffy and Spike tucked Dawn in and went to their own room. Spike sat on the bed and watched Buffy pace.
"Buffy sit down and we'll talk about this," Spike said.
Buffy stopped. "Spike, Dawn and I need you to come home with us. We love you," she whimpered.
Spike stood up and went toward her. "I know. You and Dawn can do this, though. You did once," Spike said.
"But we can't leave knowing that you're here," Buffy said, tears running down her face.
Spike's heart smashed into a thousand pieces. He wrapped his arms around her. "Buffy, I don't know how to make this easier," he said.
"Don't make us keep living with out you," Buffy said, clutching him.
Spike pulled away a little. "I love you."
"I know and I love you, too, but that is not gunna fix this," she whispered.
"Buffy, you're making this really hard on the both of us," Spike said, his voice cracking.
"Spike, you know better then to argue with me. I am not leaving L.A. unless you're coming with me," she said. "You sound like you don't want me anymore," she said, backing away.
Spike pulled her back to him. "That's not it and you know it," he said, holding her.
"Then why are trying to keep us apart?" Buffy whimpered.
"I want you to be happy," Spike said.
"Well, I'm not gunna be happy unless you're with me. I haven't been happy since three nights before you died," Buffy whimpered.
Spike stoked her hair. "I haven't been happy either, Pet. Buffy you and Dawn have a life in Rome. My life is here now. I'll always love you but it's not like before. I can't just run over the 'Welcome to Sunnydale' sign on my way into town. You and Dawn can't just alter your lives for me," he whispered.
Buffy pushed him away. "You sound like Angel. You cannot decide what's best for me. You can't just expect me to do what you say or make me stop loving you. It doesn't work like that." Buffy wiped her tears away. "I lost you twice. I am not gunna lose you again. Please don't make me lose you. Spike," she whispered, slipping her hands into his. "If I lose you again, it'll be too much," she whimpered, squeezing his hands, as tears flooded down her cheeks.
Spike slipped his arms about her and held her close. "Just trust me, Pet."
"I don't wanna do this," Buffy whispered.
"I don't either," Spike said, holding her with his hands on the small of her back.
"So don't make me go," Buffy whimpered.
Spike lifted her face. He leaned down and kissed her softly.
Buffy felt his desire in the soft kiss and gently hoisted herself onto his waist.
Spike carried her over to the bed and gently laid her down. He settled himself on her. "Buffy, are you sure?" He asked.
Buffy nodded and sniffled. "Yeah. I've been without for too long," she whispered, running her fingers trough his hair.
Spike kissed her softly. "I love you, Pet," he said. "I know. I love you, too, Spike," she said, letting him set the pace.
Spike ran his fingers under her shirt. He caressed her back and his nimble fingers found her bra clasp.
Soon both vampire and slayer were naked from the waist up. I didn't take too long for both of them to be divested of all their clothing and making love.
A few hours later, Buffy and Spike were cuddling, their skin sticky with sweat.
Buffy climbed on top of Spike and kissed him softly. "Spike, Dawn an I can stay in L.A. with you. We're expandable. Or Dawn can go home and finish school. She's old enough. You are not losing me and I'm not losing you. I'm staying. The hell with the world," she said, firmly.
"What about Angel?" Spike asked.
"Angel will understand. I will explain it to him while you explain things to Dawn. Right now, I'm tired and I just wanna sleep in your arms," she said, closing her eyes.
Spike smiled and joined her in sleep.
In the morning, Buffy and Spike sought out Angel and Dawn.
Buffy found Angel in the lobby of the hotel. She sat next to him. "Angel, I have to talk to you about something and it's kind of important," she said.
Angel looked at her. "You okay?" He asked.
"Yeah. Spike said he wouldn't come home with me and Dawn. He says he's needed here. So I'm gunna stay here with him. Can you handle it?" Buffy asked gently.
"Yeah. I can. He is needed here and he loves you. You love him so I respect that. You're not mine anymore and I can let go," Angel said, with a small smile.
Buffy smiled. "Thanks." She gave him a hug as Faith, Spike, and Dawn came downstairs.
Buffy stood up and let Faith sit with Angel while she went to Spike and Dawn.
"He's gunna be okay with it," Buffy said.
"Cool!" Dawn squealed. "I'm staying too."
Buffy looked at a beaming Spike. "You're enjoying this too much," she said smiling. "I love you."
"I know. I love you too," Spike said, kissing her soundly.
"God. Get a room," Dawn said.
Spike and Buffy glanced at eachother before flying up the stairs.
Dawn rolled her eyes. "God, they are so weird," she said, even though she was smiling.
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