Author's Note: This poem is from Xander's pov. Read and enjoy. Please send any and all feedback to shnasaif1@webtv.net. Thanks!
Disclaimer: I don't own the characters and am not affiliated with Buffy the Vampire Slayer in any way (other than being obsessed) :-)
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Why can't you see,
How much I love you,
How much I want this to be?
What's wrong with me?
That you run to him,
and not me.
I'm standing here with my heart on my sleeve
My arms wide open
Can't you see?
Why do you care for him
and not me?
What does he have, that I don't?
What has he done, that I won't?
Is it that he's a demon with a soul?
Is it that he's a bastard child on parole?
Is it that I'm too kind, too forgiving, or too blind?
Is it that I don't need to drink your life,
filling it with strife?
Is it that I won't use and abuse your love?
Is it that I'd love you without regret,
that you'd feel safe and not in debt?
How can you love not a one of us,
How can your feelings run so deep,
for someone who doesn't need sleep?
Would you love a dog?
Would you love a cat?
Would you love a bit, hairy, furry bat?
Every time my eyes fall upon you,
I get the feeling that I can't stay.
I've seen the looks you give to me
When he's not around,
when we have a moment alone.
Is it because you know how I feel?
That he won't always be around, but I will?
These games you play, during the day,
You know they'll make me stay
You know what the two of you have can't be
Yet you constantly refuse to see.
That's not to say that I won't date, while you make me wait.
But I could never give my heart to them, not in the way that you can
win.
Anyplace, anytime
I would gladly give up mine
Is there a chance, in Heaven or Hell,
that we will ever be?
It's not that I'll stop loving you,
I could never, ever give up on you.
The least you can do is level with me.
You're leading me on like a faithful dog.
Quit pounding me into the ground with your heel,
like I am the dirt on the hill.
When I see you on that street corner, standing there.
In the middle of the night, underneath that lone light.
After he has betrayed your heart,
after he made it fall apart
Then when you call to me
I will be there again
Just like I've always been.
You will cry your heart to me
You will tell me everything you thought he'd be.
In the middle of your grief, in the middle of your pain
In the middle of his deadly game
You will look upon me and see
That I have always been there,
and will always be
You'll remember that time
When I told you how I felt,
and how it would last for all time,
even if you were never mine.
So I stand here, and I wait
for this thing called fate to deal a hand
For its master plan
For this dream to come and be
turned into reality.
So I sit here and I cry
and I weep to myself inside.
But, how long must I wait,
how long must I cry,
how long must I die
To beat out eternity,
and for you to truly see?
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