Title: Whisper In The Chaos.
Author: Taisha.
Rating: PG-13.
Summary: Did you never wonder why the Hellmouth stayed imprisoned for such a long time? Truth is that it almost broke out of its chains years ago and that Bringers flooded the earth… until the Slayer decided to come out and play her own game…
Disclaimer: Buffy The Vampire Slayer, Angel, and all related things belong to Joss Whedon. No copyright or trademark infringement is intended and I am not getting any money out of this. The prophecy in this prologue is mine. The title of the fic, Whisper In The Chaos, is taken from a song by the band "Lullacry". Stella Deroy and Thomas Rivers are mine and should not be taken without permission.
Notes: I spent several days researching before starting this fic. All information about the Slayer, Watcher, Council, "Cruciamentum", Hellmouth, and other things can be found in the episodes of Buffy and (in some way) Angel. I have got some books in my possession about the Slayer Universe, and there's a huge amount of information in those as well.
The Hellmouth’s exact looks aren’t based on the little thing we’ve seen in Buffy, but on ancient beliefs known only to those worthy of that knowledge. Blood sacrifices have been made in order to strengthen those who oppose the Hellmouth and also to oppose its spawn that is known to us now as The First. Now it is time to honor those sacrifices and begin the tale…
~*~
Chapter One
~*~
They took my beauty
Turned me into a beast
Secret of my strength
Keeper of my soul
Share my world, death is return
Your cradle will be your grave
I came for you, you'll be with me
Whisper in the chaos*
~*~
Stella.
There are a lot of people on Earth who want to have superpowers. There are few who have them. Those powers are a curse to many, and a gift to few. I don't know what to call mine.
Sometimes I wish that I had a normal life. I wish that I wouldn't spend my time killing off demons and vampires. There are days that I wish that somebody else could save the world. But there are certain moments where I feel superior to everyone else, just because I have the strength to save people's lives. Strength beyond your imagination, locked up in a fifteen-year-old girl. My visible wounds heal faster than the ones that are invisible. For I have seen things that would make anyone my age have nightmares. My life has been in danger ever since I turned thirteen. Some wounds never heal.
Millions of tears have been spilt on the graves of my loved ones. I have lost my mother, father, brothers and sisters. All destroyed by the Hellmouth. I have seen my Watcher, two witches, and four friends die. All lost because of who I am. I could have saved them if I had the strength. But I didn't have it.
This is my gift… this is my curse.
I am the Slayer. I am the only one who is Chosen to fight the creatures of the Hellmouth. The Hellmouth sleeps under the Earth's surface. Now and then it wakes up and shows its teeth. I have the strength and ability to save the world. But nobody said anything about having to save my sanity in the process.
The year is 1567. I live in Scotland, Edinburgh to be precise, and right now it is the middle of June. And I am stuck in a stuffy old bookshop in the center of town with only a cat and my Watcher for company.
A Watcher is somebody who has to take care of the Slayer. If a Watcher dies there will be a new one. If I die, a new Slayer shall be Chosen. My previous Watcher died, and now I am stuck with somebody who is only four years older than I am. His name is Tom.
I guess that this is what you can call a Slayer diary. Watchers keep diaries too, in which they write everything about their Slayer. I wonder what Tom is writing about me right now. Probably that I nearly got myself killed last night.
It wasn't my fault, honestly! I just didn't sense a vampire coming up to me at the party given at Rose McKinnon's house, that's all. Tom says I have to train my senses a bit more. But seeing as I already survived two whole years while Slaying creatures of darkness without getting killed I don't believe him. I think that I was just distracted by the beauty of the night.
Sometimes I want to be a part of that night. Sometimes there's a little voice in the back of my mind that tells me to give in. It tells me that I should give in to the call of the darkness. And if I didn't have a Watcher to take care of me I would have done that a long time ago.
You can say that Tom keeps me sane. Having him as a Watcher opens my eyes, for now I finally see that my previous Watcher was a bit incompetent. A bit much incompetent, actually. I learned practically nothing, except for the fact that I should always trust my instincts. Give a round of applause for my instincts, for they managed to make me survive long enough to write this down. Tom says that I have to trust him as much as I trust myself because Slayer and Watcher are usually a team.
Usually.
I would rather be alone than form a team with him. He deals with the theory behind the demons, and I kill them. That's our teamwork. Little did I know that with forming a team also came the nasty rule that I should come and train at his home every day! I have a social life to attend to, but he just seems to ignore that. So right now we are nothing more than Slayer and Watcher sitting at a table and scribbling things about how annoying the other person is. We don't make a good team. He analyses the whole fight and then goes to kick some demons back to hell, while I kick them back to hell and analyse afterwards.
So while I am ranting on about us not being a team while we really are a team after all I discovered something. I don't like him. And that's probably mutual, seeing as he yelled at me for one hour straight after I got myself into trouble at the McKinnon party. I don't like Tom because he is always telling me to do things in his way when I want to do them my way. And he doesn't like me because I always win our arguments.
Well, almost always. Last night I didn't win.
Meanwhile the Watcher's Council is driving both of us absolutely crazy with their letters. We need to proceed with the regular work, and not pay any attention to the fact that there is a prophecy about the end of the world. Which will be, according to our calculations, at Halloween.
I don't like the Council at all. When I turn eighteen (if I survive my life for another three years) I will have to undergo a test called "Cruciamentum". I will lose my powers temporarily as a result of getting drugged, and then they will probably put me near an angry demon to get me killed. Did I mention how much fun it is to be a Slayer?
Okay, back to 'the end of the world'.
From beneath it will devour
The Mouth of Hell awakes from its grave
From beneath it will murder
The Mouth of Hell rises from its cave
When the Day turns to Night
At the Eve of its Children
From beneath it will devour
And set the world alight
That's the prophecy. So at sundown, Halloween, the world shall burn. The Hellmouth will open, and there's no time to run. Not that I would run. I am going to fight it until I die, and so will Tom. Let's hope I won't get myself killed anytime soon because that will ruin everything. Because when a new Slayer is called she will get her instructions from her Watcher, who will get instructions from the Council. And the Council doesn't believe that the world shall end at Halloween.
So Tom actually had a reason to be mad at me last night…
*****
Tom
I sighed as I read the text again to make sure I hadn’t made a mistake. Unfortunately I hadn’t made one. I scraped my throat, and was relieved to see that my Slayer was paying attention to me now.
“I believe that I found something, and you are not going to like it,” I began. “The good news is that this evil can be stopped. The bad news is that it is only temporarily.”
“Okay.”
She shrugged mutely and tucked a strand of her black hair behind her ear. She continued writing in her diary, which I had given to her a few days ago, even though she had probably realized that I wanted to say something else.
“For how long will it last? A few days, weeks, months, years?”
She asked after a couple of minutes, her gray eyes finally showing a sign of interest as she looked up to me. I smiled for no particular reason and said:
“If we are lucky and we do everything according to this book it will last for a couple of hundred years. If something goes wrong it will only last for a few minutes.”
“What do you mean, we?”
I sighed as I looked at the fifteen-year-old, who was regarding me with apprehension. If she thought that I was going to let her deal with this on her own she was wrong. She would need all the help she could get.
“I do not want you doing this by yourself,” I explained. “It is dangerous, and you will need my help.”
“And I do not want to lose another person I care about!”
She exclaimed, eyes blazing with fury as she slammed her diary shut. She rose from her seat and turned her back on me. I could tell that she was fighting to get control of her emotions, but I didn’t want her to be alone with her grief either. I walked up to her and put my arms around her, a bit reluctant because she usually told me off for doing that.
*****
Stella.
I felt Tom wrap his arms around me, but didn’t push him away this time. Then, to my horror and to his utter relief (I think) I started to cry. He pulled me closer towards him, and muttered:
“There’s no need for you to cry about it. I just said that I wanted to help.”
“That’s the problem,” I sniffed. “Every time someone wants to help me they end up dead. You’re one of my friends, and I don’t want you to get hurt.”
I wiped my tears away and drove the images of my family’s deaths out of my mind. One still remained. It was a sign of the demon’s triumph and my loss. My little sister, seven years old, was lying in a pool of blood. I had screamed then. It was the only time in my career and the last time that I screamed.
Tom let me go, and I was shocked when I realized that I didn’t want him to. I wanted him to hold me, for just a little while longer, and it scared me. It scared me to know that if he died I would go insane. I needed him. So I said:
“You are not coming with me. Tell me how I can defeat the Hellmouth and I will do it. But not with you.”
“I would come after you, Star,” he said. “The Hellmouth is too much for a Slayer to handle alone. I am going to help you. No further discussion.”
I grabbed my diary and my coat then, and I left the bookshop after I said goodbye to the cat. A couple of streets further I realized that he had used my nickname, instead of the usual ‘Miss Deroy’ or ‘Stella’. It all just didn’t seem to matter anymore. We both knew that we would die in an attempt to save the world in less than seven months. So right now I needed something.
I needed the cool logic of a witch. I sighed as I took a shortcut through the small alleyways. It was extremely difficult to get anywhere near the place where Sathani lived. She would not be happy to see me.
And I was right about that.
Sathani was waiting outside when I arrived at the ‘Brend’. The ‘Brend’ was one of the local pubs, but unlike the others notorious for its bad name. Many people don’t know where to find the ‘Brend’ because only the outcasts of Edinburgh come here. We went inside and took a seat near the backdoor.
“You seem troubled.”
Sathani’s hoarse voice made me jump, and I cursed myself for not paying attention. Her dark eyes were searching mine, but I wouldn’t let her look into my eyes because she hypnotizes people. I marveled at her friendliness, though, because she usually hexes me when I come to her.
“I needed your common sense,” I replied. “All this talk about the Hellmouth drives me crazy. I just found out that I can’t defeat it completely and that Tom wants to come with me when I lock it up.”
“There is nothing wrong with protection, Mordre.”
Sathani leaned back and produced a shiny stone out of one of her pockets as she said it. Mordre is my nickname among those who know that I am a Slayer. She held the stone in the palm of her hand and then offered it to me. I knew exactly what it would do, but I took it.
“Mummy, no!”
The little girl was crying as her mother fell to the floor, killed by two demons. The rest of her family was dead as well, and now the demons were coming for her. But she didn’t give in.
Her head rose and she wiped her tears away. She picked her father’s dagger up and let out a howl of grief as she launched herself at the demons.
My vision blurred, but when I could see clearly again I saw the demons lying on the floor. Dead. The girl was standing in the middle of the mess, laughing her head off.
“This is not the way,” I gasped. “It never went like this!”
I had recognized the girl’s face by then. It was me.
“No,” a voice whispered in my ear. “But it is the path before you. You shall encounter something like this again, and that day you shall follow my command.”
I knew who it was then, the voice. It was my imaginary friend that I had created when I was little. And then everything went black, and I screamed his name.
“Loki!”
I fell on the floor, gasping for air. Sathani was still seated and a small smile told me that it had not been just a dream. It was a vision, telling me what would come. Sathani extended one hand lazily and I took it. She pulled me onto the couch again.
“Now that you have seen what path lies before you it is time to make a choice. Either you give up and let me take all your pain away, or you continue and become like the girl you saw.”
I stared at her in disbelief after she had finished her sentence. She was asking me to make a choice now, a choice that I had always wanted. But this wasn’t the way it was supposed to go. I wanted a normal life, but how would I ever learn to live without being the Slayer? Without having the power to help people? I didn’t want to be like the girl either, for she had taken pure pleasure out of killing. And I didn’t want to see Loki again for he had possessed me before. Loki was a bad spirit.
“Can I think about it?”
“No.”
Sathani’s answer was final, no discussion possible. I had just begun to say that I wanted option one, if it hadn’t been for Tom. He made his way through the crowded pub, and glared at Sathani as he spoke.
“Get out of here. Leave us alone.”
“But…”
Sathani started to say something, but Tom silenced her with one single glance. She got up, muttered something under her breath about Watchers, and left. She had put another stone on the table. I wanted to pick it up and extended my hand towards it, but Tom grasped my arm.
“Don’t. Didn’t you hear what she said? ‘Let me take all your pain away’, right?” When I nodded Tom continued. “She wants to kill you. There is only one way to take your pain away and that is death.”
“Maybe I should die.”
I shrugged mutely, but he seated himself on the couch as well and forced me to look into his eyes. They were clear blue, filled with compassion. I wanted to look away but found that I couldn’t.
“You should not die. You cannot give up. This is your destiny, Star,” he said softly. “I am with you, and so are Lucia and Natalie. You are not alone in life, although you might think that you are.”
I smiled as he mentioned my two best friends. It was true; they knew about my Slayer activities and yet supported every step I took. But I wasn’t that happy about the destiny part. Being the Slayer is my destiny, I know. But I never wanted to be a Slayer. I never asked for it. When I told Tom this he smiled and said:
“And I never asked for the Council to give me such a hormonal teenager to train. But I live with it, purely because I know that I have friends that I can count on.”
“Now you’re acting all grown-up and grandfather-like.”
I pulled a face and laughed because he looked insulted. If every day would be like this moment I would accept my destiny with a smile on my face. But this moment would go away, and although there are millions of them in a lifetime I feared that I had used them all up. One cannot live without a destiny. And if this destiny were truly mine to live by then I would have to live with it. It is not that great to be dead, I think.
I was destined to become a Slayer. Like my family and some friends were destined to die. And that thought helped in the way my tears hadn’t.
*****
Tom.
“The moon told me a million things in the elder days. The sun would never give the light to the moon because it assumed that the moon was going to owe it one. It makes me think about the humans and the way they live. They are the same as the sun and in the end… it will destroy them.”
Images flashed across my mind, showing the end of mankind. The deaths in the cities, despair in the countries, chaos from a baby’s cradle to a dead man’s grave.
“This is what will come to pass, if you both should fail.”
“What shall happen if we don’t fail?”
My question made the voice chuckle, as if it was amused. The reality of its words poured down on me like a cold shower.
"You will fail. Your Slayer is confused and doesn’t know her goals in life. You do not have enough power to stop us all by yourself. Your Slayer shall not help you this time. And what will you be able to do, Tom? Nothing. Just watch as we destroy your kind.”
“Us? We?”
“Did you think that I was not partial to one of you? I am on their side, not on yours.”
“Why are you telling me this?”
“To let you see that it is hopeless.”
“It is not our abilities that show who we truly are. It is our choices.”
“So be it, foolish mortal. So be it.”
A giant creature rose from Earth. I knew that it had been asleep for millions of years, waiting patiently, but now it was free. It had giant teeth, eyes flaming red, and it was a bit like a worm. I knew what it was even before I had seen its body completely.
The Hellmouth.
I opened my eyes as Stella called out to me. I must have dozed off for a moment, but she was looking at me as if she had just seen a ghost. Considering that I hadn’t been able to get some sleep for at least two nights her reaction wasn’t surprising at all. But all my thoughts of me dozing off were driven out of my mind as she spoke.
“You just fell onto the table, and didn’t respond to anything. What did you see?”
“See? Miss Deroy, what are you talking about?”
“She’s talking about you getting a vision.”
I blinked as Lucia McGee hopped off one of the tables. Natalie McDonald was seated comfortably in one of the green armchairs, and looked at me innocently with her big brown eyes as I raised an eyebrow at her feet that were situated on the table.
“What vision?” I managed to ask. “What are you talking about?”
“You don’t remember?” Stella looked at me, shocked. “I’d notice it if I suddenly went all glass eyed and let my imagination run wild.”
“Visions are not a part of someone’s imagination, Miss Deroy. And most people who had visions do not recall the exact state they were in while having them.”
“But they do recall what they saw.”
Natalie responded softly, and closed her eyes. I felt her presence in my mind for a moment before she pulled out again and wiped the sweat off her brow. I knew that mind probing, as we call it, was draining her of energy every time she did it.
“What was it?”
Lucia looked at Natalie, who sighed once more. She raked her hand through her curly brown hair before she grabbed a book from the pile on the table and pointed at the image on the cover.
“The end of our world,” she murmured. “As Lucia and I already knew, the Apocalypse does not end the world. It starts a larger reaction chain. When our world ends there is more than just emptiness. There are demons, millions of them. We cannot win the fight we are having now. No matter how many demons we kill there shall be more. Until we are extinct, or until there is nothing left for us to fight for.”
“I am not going down on my knees for any creature the Hellmouth sends to me!” Stella exclaimed angrily. “We might not win, but we will take thousands of demons with us when we die. Besides, I am not letting a huge thing with teeth share the victory with its minions. My spirit will not die!”
At these moments it is safe to say that I really appreciate Stella’s cleverness. She absorbs everything I tell her like a sponge, and uses that knowledge to stand her ground. Sometimes she does not understand things I say about her destiny, but she never ceases to surprise me with her razor-sharp comments about dying to save the world. Lucia obviously didn’t understand the message Stella gave her.
“It is a lost case, Stella,” she stated. “You heard Natalie. Demons will be everywhere, and there’s nothing we can do to stop them.”
“There’s always a way,” Stella said through clenched teeth. I saw her trembling with rage as she continued. “I am the Slayer, Cia, not a giggly teenager! I will not fail in defeating this thing.”
“You won’t,” I said softly. “Not with what we recently found out. Even if you die doing that exact ritual described in the book, you will still save the world. And those who, like us, fight the forces of evil will remember your death. I do not want you to die, because you are more than just ‘The Chosen One’, but if you do your spirit will live on in other Slayers. And the Hellmouth will meet you again in a different time, and in a different place. You can count on it.”
“More than just ‘The Chosen One’, huh?” Stella smirked. “Something tells me that I should not register that in my mind, but I am doing that exact thing because it will come in handy in our next argument.”
She smiled at me brightly, and I cursed myself for letting that sentence slip from my mouth. Natalie was watching us both with an amused expression on her face while Lucia tutted and grabbed her fan. She left the shop after saying a goodbye to the cat, with Natalie trailing slowly behind. Stella slipped me a note and opened her diary.
I am going to write everything down about the Hellmouth and all that is linked to it. Any objections?
I shook my head slowly and went to feed the cat. I had christened the cat Mordre, but when Stella was around I used the name Fluffs. The cat was so much like Stella that I could not think of her as Fluffs. Mordre was her name and it would stay that way.
*****
Stella.
The Hellmouth. I guess I should tell you a bit more about it, seeing as we are going to fight it. The Hellmouth has been around for a long time (I personally think that it created all of the demons) and has created havoc in the past.
I know that humans did not always inhabit the Earth. There were dinosaurs and demons inhabiting the lands we live in now. I don’t know what it was that caused them to leave but one day they disappeared into the ground. Sometimes they come out of their refuges, but mostly they don’t bother anybody.
The first humans were quite primitive, but they still had enough power to imprison the Hellmouth.
The Hellmouth grows stronger, and weakens its chains. It has to be imprisoned again. Before we all fall and there is nothing but darkness.
And yet we are falling further in.
***
Tom.
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