Life is not fair, I know this by now. You're a perfectly nice person your whole life, and bam, your boyfriend cheats on you, you get a permanent scar on your stomach, your parents are arrested and you lose your entire fortune. Then, you move to LA to try to become something, but your sob story just follows you, and your life just explodes into shambles and the next thing you know, you're sitting in a crappy one room apartment, waiting by the phone for anyone to call, and eating stolen food from glamorous Hollywood parties. Cordelia Chase, this is your life.
Do I sound bitter? I guess I am bitter. I try not to show it, because it really damages the complexion, but come on, I *deserve* to be bitter. I'm a bitter person, damn it! Okay, that was too bitter. I'll turn it down a notch.
As you can see, things are not going well for me. I finally have a steady job, thankfully, but it's as secretary to Angel's Damsel in Distress, Inc. It's not easy being a normal human girl working with a brooding sleeps-all-day-vampire and a drunk and horny... well, whatever Doyle is. But I digress.
See, I have to go back to Sunnydale for a few days. Every so often, Buffy or Giles calls us, and they'll need some help if the evil is extra big. It goes both ways, because sometimes we have to call them for help, too. But this time, I'm the only one going back to Sunnydale. Angel has some saving souls work to do, and I'm not sure he's too keen on seeing Buffy so soon after the Breakup That Rocked the World. And though Doyle wants to come so he can drool over me, Angel needs his help with his visions.
So I have to go. By myself. Not fair.
Besides, how am I supposed to help Buffy? I'm probably going to get in their way and then get yelled at. But I'm still going. I must be glutton for punishment.
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Sunnydale. It doesn't look like much, but it's more than will ever meet the eye. Home to the Hellmouth. My new home. It looks cozy, charming. I think I could have some fun here...
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I'm finally back in Sunnydale. I got to borrow Angel's yummilicious car, so that was a plus. I wasn't exactly sure where to go. It was just like Buffy not to tell me where to meet her. So self-involved. Not the library, 'cause that was all blowed up. Maybe Buffy's, but she lived on campus at UC Sunny, and I really wasn't sure where her dorm was. So I went to Giles'. He'd know where she was.
I knocked on the door, but there was no answer. I had to knock three more times before someone answered the door. And I do mean someone. Either Giles had a sex change and became black over the summer, or I was at the wrong apartment. "Yes," asked the woman. She had a British accent.
"Um, hi," I said. "A Giles doesn't happen to live here, does he?" I took a step back and looked at the number on the stucco wall by the door. "Cause I thought he did." The woman smiled. "Of course he lives here. Come on in. My name's Olivia." She greeted me in, and I smiled politely. "I'm Cordelia."
"Cordelia?" I heard Giles in the kitchen. "Is that you?" He stepped out so I could see him. "Giles! Hey." He came over to me and gave me a quick hug, which was so un-Giles, but so was having strange women around, so I didn't complain. Besides, I had kinda missed him.
I stepped back, and saw that Olivia was just smiling at us. "Oh!" said Giles. "Cordelia, this is Olivia, my friend from England. Olivia, Cordelia was an old student of mine." Old student? Gee, that makes me feel young. Couldn't he have just said 'former'?
"You certainly have a lot of old students come to visit you, isn't that so Ripper?" Olivia asked. Ripper? Ohhh, she really was a friend from way back. Giles smiled curtly. Olivia, noticing that Giles and I needed to talk, said, "I'll be in the back. The plants that you don't have need to be not watered." I giggled. I liked her.
When she was gone, I got down to business. Well, sort of. "Is she your girlfriend?" I asked. Giles raised his eyebrows. "She's an acquaintance, and I'd be more than happy if you all stayed out of my business." I put my hands up. "Sheesh, touchy much? And who's 'we all'?" "Buffy, Xander, Willow... all of them hound me. Am I not supposed to have a private life?" I was about to say no, but I realized he'd probably kick me out. So I just nodded. "Anyway, I only came here because I have no idea where Buffy lives. I'm supposed to help with a demon or something," I said.
Giles stifled a giggle. "What? What's so funny?" He contained himself. "I'm sorry," he said. "I just ... what are you going to do to help?" I almost smacked him. "I can help! Really! I help Angel and Doyle all of the time. I've gotten better. Maybe I'm a totally different person from the last time you saw me." He smiled gently. "All right, I believe you. You can find Buffy at Stevenson Hall, dormitory 214. She and Willow board together." "Thanks," I said, trying to hide any twinge of jealousy in my voice. I really did want to go to college. I just didn't have enough money to do it. Buffy and Willow both got to go ... and share a room. Best friends. I wish I had a best friend. Whine, whine, and whine. I'm going to have to consult my self-help books about this when I get home.
Before I left, I gave Giles a grin. "Olivia's nice. A definite keeper." Giles sighed at me and shut the door. I smiled to myself. I always did like teasing him.
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Stevenson Hall, dorm 214. Here I am. I knocked on the door, hearing familiar Dingoes music coming from the inside. Had they made a CD?
Buffy answered the door, wearing pajamas covered with cows jumping over moons. Tacky. But kinda cute. "Cordelia! Hey!" she greeted me. "Hey Buffy," I said, glad that she was glad to see me. I wasn't sure that she would be. We were never the greatest of friends. She gestured for me to come in, and I did, taking a quick mental picture. It was larger than what you'd expect a dorm to be. Two beds, two dressers, two closets ... the regular stuff. Some posters, framed pictures, and a mini-fridge. It looked cozy. More cozy than what I had.
Willow was sitting on her bed, which was on the left side, reading a book. I didn't catch the name of it, but it looked like Psychology. "Hey, Cordy," she said, smiling. They were both happy to see me. Hmmm. Maybe these were the demons I was sent to help kill. "Hi," I greeted back. "Nice room." They both kept smiling. What was up with them? "What's up with you guys?" I asked accusingly.
"What? Nothing!" said Buffy. "It's just, you know, nice to see you. It's been a while." "About six months since the Mayor," I stated, in case they had forgotten. "Yeah, well, time flies around here. Um, how's LA?" I knew Buffy meant 'How's my brooding hunk of an ex-boyfriend?', but I didn't want to tease her about it. "It's good. Full of demons, too. And Angel's doing peachy," I quickly added. Buffy nodded, smiling. "Good, good."
Something felt wrong here. I could sense that the two of them were only smiling to hide something from me. So I of course asked what is was. "What is it? Gotta secret to share?" I asked, eyeing the two of them. They glanced at each other. "It's really nothing," Willow said. "Yeah. It's just... Xander has a new girlfriend, and you being here and all, you're probably going to run into her," Buffy said, waiting for my reaction. "Oh," I said. "Is that all? You had me worried!"
"You're not weirded out?" Willow asked. "Why would I be?" I said. "Xander and I broke up like, what, a year ago? I am totally, totally over him." I smiled. "But I want details. What's she like?" Buffy smiled, happy that I was cool with this. "She's not bad. Nice. She's new around here; I think she transferred from UC something or other. Brunette. Brown eyes. Tall. You know, she kinda looks like you." "Oh," I said. "Well, good for him. Now about this demon you so needed my help for?"
"Oh!" Willow exclaimed. "The demon, right." Buffy smiled at her friend's excitement. "It's a Chrankler demon. Big, powerful, yada yada. Likes to seduce the populous, and then, well, dinner." Buffy made a face. So did I. "How can I help with this thing?" I asked. "Well, you're a new face. We've been after this thing, and it knows what we look like. It won't try to seduce Will and me. But it doesn't know your face ... "
It suddenly hit me. "Whoa, wait a minute. You're saying you called me here so a tweako demon could hit on me? I don't think so!" I exclaimed. "Cordy, wait a minute. You won't be in any danger, I promise. We'll be watching the whole time, and when he moves in, bam, he's a goner," Buffy explained. I raised my eyebrows. "What does this thing look like?" Buffy and Willow exchanged a glance. "Well, we're not actually sure," Willow said. "We know what he looks like in demon form - this icky snake thing - but he can take the face of any person he wants to, to help the seducing process along. Kind of a demon plus."
"Are you people nuts? What if some innocent were to hit on me, and you guys, thinking he's Mr. Big Bad, kill him! What then?" I asked. Buffy closed her eyes momentarily and sighed. "Please, Cor, we have to stop this thing. It may not be a foolproof plan, but it's the best we've got. And we had to ask you. We can't just walk up to a stranger and go, 'How's it shakin', wanna help us, there's a small chance you might get eaten.' We're just going to have to wait until he changes form to eat you until we make our move, so we know it's Chrankler for sure." "Changes form to eat me? That sounds romantic. So I will be in danger, essentially." I rolled my eyes. This plan sucked. Willow stood up. "It's not like you haven't been in danger before, Cordy. And Buffy will be there to save you."
I looked at the both of them, with their pleading eyes. I nodded slowly. "Fine. But if I die, I'm gonna kick your asses until they form a new shape. And I mean that!"
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Buffy and Willow offered to let me stay with them, which was good, because I really had nowhere else to go. I couldn't believe I actually agreed to this heinous plan. But that wasn't the only thing bugging me. Xander had a girlfriend. Ugh. I had played it cool with the girls, but I was not a happy camper. But why? Like I had said, we had split up over a year ago. Why was the thought of Xander with someone else giving me the weebies?
Buffy offered to escort me to the Bronze that night. Willow had "a lot of studying to do," so she declined to go. On the way to the Bronze, Buffy filled me in with her sob story. Seems that Oz fell for a fem-wolf, Veruca, and then skipped town to do some serious thinkage. Willow hadn't heard from him in a week, and spent a lot of her time "studying" and moping while cranking up the Dingoes CD, which they had made over the summer. I felt bad for Will. And I felt even worse that there was a little voice in my head telling me that she deserved it. Sure, she had stolen Xander from me. I admit that I'll never be as close to her again. But I like to think that I've grown a little, and see that Willow's suffering.
"I think Xander's going to be here tonight," Buffy nonchalantly mentioned as we entered the Bronze. "With Aurora," she said quickly. "Aurora? Is that her name?" I asked. Buffy nodded. "Aurora McFaye. A little unusual, I know." We exchanged a grin. Buffy and Cordelia were not the most ordinary of names, either.
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The Bronze. How... cute. Teenagers and college students mingling.
Little do they know they'll be mine tonight. Mine to feast on...
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The two of us searched for a table in the bad lighting and the sounds of Splendid, a Bronze favorite. It was the annual pre-fumigation party at the Bronze, where drinks were paid for in cockroaches. After sitting down and then getting back up for drinks, it had to have been ten minutes before I spotted him coming our way. Xander. And he was holding a girl's hand. Aurora.
The first thing I noticed about her was that Buffy had been right - she shared a striking resemblance to me. Not so much that she was my clone, but she shared very similar characteristics. She was pretty. Long dark hair with a few tangerine-colored streaks. Sparkling brown eyes. A perky nose and long legs. They were both smiling. They were happy. And I was jealous.
When Xander saw me, he stopped in his tracks momentarily. He then smiled at Aurora again, and sat down next to Buffy. Aurora took the seat next to me. "Hi," I said, suddenly aware of his awkward this could be. "Cordy... long time, no see." Xander nodded at Aurora. "Ror, this is Cordelia Chase. Cor, Aurora McFaye." Cor and Ror? What was *that* about? We shook hands. "Nice to meet you," Aurora said, smiling. I faked a smile. "Pleasure's mine." I looked at Xander, who was avoiding eye contact with me now. "Aurora's my girlfriend." I raised my eyebrows and gave him my best 'well, duh' facial expression. "So I gathered."
No one seemed to hear me. Aurora playfully punched Xander on the shoulder. "You sound so cute when you say 'girlfriend'." I scrunched up my nose. "Could she be more gag inducing, please?" I muttered under my breath to Buffy, who giggled. Xander hadn't heard me. He was flashing Aurora his perfect impish smile. I sighed inwardly. I missed that smile. He used to smile at me like that. I shook my head to snap out of it and turned to Aurora, asking her a question. "So, Aurora, where are you from?" The tangerine haired freak flashed her Colgates at me - I was sure those babies were capped - and answered my question. "Originally, I'm from Boston. I was going to school at UC Santa Barbara, but I just transferred to UC Sunnydale. And it's a good thing I did." She grinned at Xander. "I met my baby right here in the Bronze." Aurora turned to me. "You're from Sunnydale, right?" I nodded. "Born and raised." "Yeah, I thought I heard Xander mention you before." I glanced hopefully at Xander. He had mentioned me? That's something, right? But he was gazing lovingly at Aurora. Yech, I wanted to heave.
I looked over at Buffy. "When's this seducing gonna happen? I'm getting a little restless," I said, trying to be as vague as possible. I didn't know how much Aurora was involved with the gang's extracurricular activities. Buffy looked around. "Well, it's not gonna come up to us now. It knows me, and it's not that stupid. Maybe... you should sit by yourself." I frowned. Me? By myself? Why couldn't I find a hottie and flirt with him, thereby making the demon jealous, which would undeniably send him over to me so he could eat me? It always worked. But I'm not one to argue with a Slayer. I have it on high authority that she'd probably beat me to a bloody pulp. "Yeah, fine," I grumbled and grabbed my purse and Diet Coke. "Bye now," Aurora offered in a saccharine tone that made me want to heave. I was about to head off to an empty table when I remembered something and turned to Xander.
"It was nice seeing you," I said sincerely, and sauntered off. Xander didn't call anything back to me, but I could almost feel his eyes on my back. I found a table quickly and looked back at Xander as I sat down. I was surprised to see that it wasn't Xander looking at me. It was Aurora. Her mouth was twisted down and her eyes were stone cold. Huh?
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"I'm telling you, she's evil!"
Willow had her skeptic face on. Shifting her position on her bed, she said, "Cordy, maybe you're being paranoid. We've only known her for two weeks, but Aurora's been really nice to us. Maybe you just misinterpreted her look." "Misinterpret an icy stare? I don't think so. I know one of those babies when I see one. I'm the master of giving those things!" I was sitting on Buffy's bed, crossing my arms. Buffy, sitting at the computer desk, had been siding with Willow since I spilled my story.
"Cordelia, I'm with Willow on this one. Aurora's of the good team. Maybe she just gave you bad face because she thought you were grooving on her boyfriend. Which, well, maybe you were." Buffy gave me a hopeful look. Probably because she was hoping I wouldn't rip her head off. "I was *not* grooving on Xander! I told you guys, I'm over it." Buffy held up her hands. "Fine, okay! But let's just say she thought you were giving him the eyes of googly. So she gave you a jealous look. Does it make her a demon?"
"Yes!" I cried. "I mean, no. But it wasn't a jealous look; it was the look of her hating me! I'm not saying that makes her a demon, because plenty of people have given me that look before, but it's just this vibe thing. Bad, bad vibes. And why are you guys siding with her, anyway? You said you've only known her two weeks," I whined. "We've known people longer than that that were total creepies. Besides, this is Xander we're talking about. 95% of his exes have been demons!"
Willow chuckled. "You do have a point there." Not even thinking, I cast her a menacing glance. "You're included, Willow." Oh, now why did I say that? Willow looked like she was about to cry. "I... I'm sorry. I didn't mean that. I just meant that you were with him. And you're a witch. I mean... a literal witch." She must have noticed the pleading look I gave her, because she said, "It's okay, Cordy. I mean, I did deserve that." I shook my head. "No, you didn't. I guess I'm just a little freaked out." Buffy cut in. "Because he found someone?" I nodded. "I didn't want to say anything... but I guess it does bother me." "Of course it does!" Buffy agreed. "I know we're not together, but I'd be crushed if I saw another girl with Angel." I looked at Willow, who had a wistful expression upon her face. She was probably thinking of Oz.
Buffy interrupted our thoughts. "Back to our demon dilemma of the week. Since the Chrankler didn't show tonight, we're going to have to try something new tomorrow. Cordy, we'll use you again; hopefully Chranky didn't see you sitting with me tonight. Maybe you could act all lost and vulnerable in a dark alley tomorrow?" I shrugged. "I'm up for some fun," I replied.
Sighing, I grabbed a turquoise fleece blanket and a down pillow and plopped onto the floor. "Going to bed... night, guys." "Night," they both said to me, and after a few minutes, the lights were out and the three of us were all drifting off into dreamland.
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The snakelike creature cackled as its slimy red and orange-colored body slithered over Cordelia's chest. Cordelia tried to scream, but nothing would come out. The snake bit into her left shoulder, and her blood began to drain. As it dripped, the snake punctured holes into her stomach and began to eat its way inside of her. Cordelia began to feel faint, and felt her knees begin to give out. Desperate to scream out, all she could do was whimper softly...
I sat up with a start, dripping with sweat. Panting, I wiped away the moisture from my face and took deep breaths. Just a dream... just a dream. Catching my breath, I tried to figure out why I had been dreaming about such an awful thing. Then I remembered something.
She was pretty. Long dark hair with a few tangerine-colored streaks. Sparkling brown eyes. A perky nose and long legs.
Wait a minute ... the snake looked exactly like Aurora's hair. Was that supposed to mean something? Or was I totally losing my mind? I groaned for making myself so crazy about this, and looked around the room. The sun shone brightly onto the empty beds, and there was a note lying on the floor beside me. I picked it up and glanced at it. Buffy and Willow had to go to classes, and since I looked tired, they hadn't wanted to wake me. They'd be back later, and I was free to go about my business. My business? As if I had any here.
I stretched and took my time getting up off the floor. When I was on my feet, I dawdled, looking at Willow's pictures on her corkboard and sifting through Buffy's clothes in her closet. There had to be something for me to do here.
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Knock, knock. "Just a second!"
I waited patiently on the doorstep to the Harris residence. After a moment or two, Xander answered the door, clad in an apron proclaiming, "Quiche Me, I'm the Cook."
"Uh, hey, Cordy," he greeted me. I smiled. "Cute attire," I remarked. He looked down. "Oh! I was just cooking myself a nice brunch. Mom went to work and Dad... well; I don't really know where he went." I nodded. "I see," I said, looking around, trying to not to be rude. Xander finally realized that we were standing in the doorway. "I'm not thinking, am I? Come on in," he stepped back and let me in, closing the door behind me.
"So," I started, fiddling with my hands. "I just came by because Buffy and Willow were in class, and I'm kind of stuck here with nothing to do. I mean, all my old friends are away at college, and it's not as though I've had contact with them in the longest time anyway." Xander snickered. "You do know that Harmony's a vamp, right?" I opened my mouth in surprise.
"Seriously?" I took a moment to digest that. Harmony had been a friend for all those years... oh, who was I kidding? "God, I can't think of a more pathetic villainess." I giggled. He shrugged. "Yeah, well, the fact that she's dating Spike kind of helps her oomph factor." I was practically in tears. "Spike? Harmony?" Xander and I were both busting up at that point. When the laughter died down, Xander pointed again to his apron. "Do you feel like helping me make brunch?" I grinned. "Sure, why not?"
Xander led me around the house to the kitchen. I had dated him for a year, but I'd only been inside the house once, when his parents were away. He had said they weren't the greatest people to meet, and I understood. It was the same with me. My parents weren't bad folks, but unless you've known them all your life like I have, it's... interesting for new people to meet them. Xander was afraid his parents would embarrass him, and I was afraid that I would embarrass my parents with a guy like Xander. Before the money went away, they had held such high standards for me, which I usually lived up to, but you can't help who you fall in love with.
My thoughts drifted back to earth when we reached the kitchen. It looked homey and nice. There was a small wooden table in the center of the room, with four antique-looking chairs. Over the sink was a small, framed sign that read, "I love a man with dishpan hands." There was a small stained glass window looking out into the backyard, and a large spice rack hung on the wall adjacent to it. There was also a large collection of beer bottles and peach schnapps next to the refrigerator, and I looked questioningly at that. Xander caught my gaze and shrugged, giving me his famous lopsided smile that I had missed for so long. The one he had given to Aurora the previous night.
"Dad and Uncle Rory consider Thursday to be special drinking buddy night. Along with other days that end in 'y'," he finished. I nodded, and left it at that. I knew he didn't like to talk about his father very much.
"So, what's on the menu?" I asked. "I was thinking of either A," Xander picked up a box of Toasty O's and pulled a Vanna White. "The always enjoyable box of cereal." He put down the cereal and picked up a microwavable breakfast package. "Or B, frozen pancakes, frozen syrup, frozen bacon, with little frozen eggs on the side." I grinned. "Wow, I didn't know you were such the master chef. And you put an apron on to do this work?" Smiling, Xander put down the TV breakfast. "Wouldn't want to mess up my snazzy duds," he said, indicating his yellow board shorts and red Hawaiian print shirt.
Xander looked at me seriously for a moment. "You know, I missed you, Cor. After you left, you never really wrote or called." I titled my head at him. "And you did?"
"All right, point taken. But, I did miss you." I felt myself go numb. I had been waiting for him to say those words to me. Not just since last night, but since last year. "I missed you too, Xand," I said in a soft voice. But I remembered Aurora. "How are things going with you and 'Ror'?" Xander looked confused. "We go from 'I miss you' to 'How's your girlfriend'?" I nodded my head. "Well, yeah. That's the way it is. I missed you, but what does that change?" Avoiding my question, Xander grabbed the box of Toasty O's and pulled out two bowls from the cupboard. "Aurora and I are doing great. We've only been dating for a few weeks now, but it's been nice." I smiled, trying to be happy for him. "How did you two meet?" Xander grumbled as he dug into a drawer and pulled out two spoons. "At the Bronze, actually." He walked over to the refrigerator and got out a carton of milk, taking it back to the counter and making the cereal. "Well, that's cool," I said. "A story to tell the grandkids. You met grandma at a cockroach-infested club."
Xander made that grumble noise again. "Look, it's just really weird talking to you about this. I feel like I should be closed shop or something." I shrugged my right shoulder like it was no big deal to be talking about Xander's love life. "Why's that? I'm not bothered by it," I said, swallowing hard. Who was I trying to kid? I hated this. But I needed to know how he really felt about her. How it was going. Xander put down the cereal and turned to face me. "I don't want to tell you, because if I start, I think I'm going to lie to you. Part of me wants to say that Aurora is the love of my life, and I'm oh-so happy, and all that, to make you jealous. But then I want to tell you the truth. That it's new, and it's different. And it's not bad, but it's not you." He looked down at the floor, staring at the linoleum.
I stared at him with my mouth open. I couldn't believe he had just said that. He had never said anything like that to me since we had gone our separate ways. At first, he had offered flowers and apologies, but when I refused, it became all insults, all the time. If he had ever tried to make me understand, to tell me that he loved me and only me, I just may have gone back to him. What a sucker I am. But, he didn't. He didn't say any of that. So what was I supposed to say to this? 'It's not bad, but it's not you.'? Did he just realize now that he misses what we used to be?
"Xander," I started, after a long pause. He shook his head. "I shouldn't have even said that," he began. "I'm sorry, I wasn't even thinking." I frowned. "You take it back?" I took a step towards him, and he looked up at me. "No, but I don't want to start any confusion. I mean, we're not together. We haven't been. And that was just stupid of me." I shook my head. "No, it wasn't. I love that you said that. You've never said anything like that to me before. I've always been the one compared. I'm not bad, but I'm not Buffy or Willow." Xander looked at me like I was crazy. "No! Cor, it was never like that. I never, ever compared any of you." I rolled my eyes, suddenly agitated. "I don't know why I came, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to just waltz back here, when you're obviously in a great new relationship, and I didn't want to stir all this up. I'll just let myself out." I began to walk away, but Xander grabbed my arm.
"Cor..." Suddenly we were close. Too close. I knew what was coming, and I wanted it so badly. I knew it was wrong. But it happened anyway. He leaned in closer, and before I knew what I was doing, so did I. His lips brushed mine, and I felt a tingling sensation envelop my entire body. Before I could initiate a kiss, he pulled back and licked his lips. "I... I'm sorry," he stuttered. I swallowed. "What for?" He looked at me like I was crazy. "What for? For almost kissing you, for almost making a huge mistake!" I felt my chin tremble, but I held back. "A huge mistake? So that's what I am to you. I bet you wish we never had any kind of relationship, that it was such a huge mistake!" I felt tears well up in my eyes, but I continued on. "How could you even say that to me?"
Xander shook his head. "I'm sorry, really. I didn't mean that you were a mistake, or that kissing you would be a mistake. But it's a mistake for me to do this again... to cheat on a girlfriend again. I'm with Aurora, and I just can't do this." I stood up. "And I'm sure you said that to Willow, but she just begged and pleaded, right?" I shook my head, disgusted. "You're pathetic." He lowered his eyes. "Cor, I can't make up for the past. I'm sorry. But I learn from my mistakes." What could I say to that? Nothing. So that's what I said as I stormed out.
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Wanting to wallow in my own misery, I returned to Buffy and Willow's dorm room. I cuddled up next to a teddy bear on Willow's bed and moped. Half of me was furious with Xander. I had wanted that kiss to happen, no matter how much of a mistake it would have been.
But the other half of me was kind of glad nothing happened. It was true that even the thought of Aurora weirded me out - or maybe it was just the fact that Xander had moved on - but when he stopped the kiss from happening, I felt relieved. Just a smidgen. I didn't want to be 'the other girl'. If Aurora had found out that we'd kissed... well, if she was even half as taken with him as I was, I knew the pain she'd feel. I didn't want to put another girl through what Xander and Willow put me through.
Still, the little devil on my shoulder kept telling me not to give up. That Aurora didn't deserve Xander. That there was something about her that the rest of the gang couldn't see. I had to find out if my instincts were right. Not to have Xander for myself, but for the sake of my friends.
I got up from the bed and sat down at Willow's desk, opening up her laptop. When I got online, I went to a demon search engine I had recently discovered back in L.A. - Demons, Demons, Demons. Points for originality. I typed in everything I knew about Aurora to see what would come up.
Origins: Boston, Massachusetts
Distinguishing Characteristics: Orange Hair, Bright White Teeth
After consideration, I typed in 'snakelike' and hit the search button. The site came up with 10 matches, but only one of them caught my eye.
"Chrankler Demon," the site said. "Originally from the New England area, with new breeds being spotted as far away as California. This demon has a long, slimy body and resembles a snake. Varies in color from red to orange. Has the ability to mutate form. Known for its extremely long bright teeth. Feeds off humans. Very dangerous. Demon must be decapitated in order to kill."
I smiled to myself. "Ding, ding, ding," I muttered. "We have a winner."
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I knocked on Giles' door for the second time in two days. "Just - just a second!" was the response that I got after waiting a moment. I frowned. Giles sure had gotten frazzled since the high school burned down. Or maybe it was just that he finally had a girlfriend. He had, after all, gotten all school-boyish when Ms. Calendar had been alive.
When Giles opened his door, I handed him a print-out of the description of the Chrankler demon. "Hello to you too, Cordelia," he mumbled. "Hi," I said. "I don't mean to disturb, but I thought this was kind of important." I let myself in while Giles read the piece of paper.
"Interesting," he said under his breath and looked up at me. "Research well done, Cordelia. I'm sorry I underestimated your help." I shrugged. "No prob. I just got it off a web site I've been using to help Angel and Doyle lately." I helped myself to a scone from the kitchen counter. "It's really not a big deal. I even know the person that the Chrankler is disguised as," I said nonchalantly.
Giles raised his eyebrows. "Buffy has been attempting to locate the demon for a week now. How did you figure it out?" Swallowing a bite of scone, I said simply, "Using my excellent deductive and reasoning skills, I knew it could only be one person." Giles stared. I let out a small laugh. "Sorry, there was a Sherlock Holmes marathon on AMC last weekend. Anyway, the demon is Xander's new chickadee, Aurora."
"Aurora? But... she's so fetching," Giles remarked. I threw my hands up in disgust. "What is with guys? Show 'em a pretty girl, they get stupid. And why are we surprised? Xander's kinda known for dating freaks." I stopped when I realized what I had said. "I mean, other than me. You know."
Giles scratched his head. "How can you be sure the demon is Aurora? Do you have proof?" I nodded. "Yes! Proof positive." I sat up in my seat, proud of myself for finding the demon before Buffy or Giles. "First off, when I met her last night, she totally creeped me out. Gave me this nasty look. And I had a dream that this icky orange snake thing was eating me, and it reminded me of Aurora's orange streaks in her hair. I mean, at first I thought she was just some kinda Vitamin C wannabe. She said she's originally from Massachusetts, and that's where Chrankler demons originated, because they love the changing New England weather."
"Well, that is a start, though Aurora 'giving you a look' probably would not hold up in court. And seeing snakes in dreams is usually a sign of transformation." I pursed my lips. "Yeah, a sign that Aurora will be transforming into a giant ass snake. Believe me, Giles. This girl's not what she seems to be. I have a horrible feeling that's she going to do something bad to Xander." Giles looked thoughtful. "Like eat him," he said in a low voice.
"Yeah," I said slowly. That and steal him away from me for good, I thought. She must be stopped.
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I used Giles' phone to call Xander, but I didn't get an answer. I decided to go looking for him myself. Giles told me that Buffy and Willow would be out of classes soon, and he'd fill them in then, and look for more information about the Chrankler. Giles and I decided that we'd all meet up at the Bronze later on, hopefully to nab us a demon.
I walked from Giles' house to Xander's on Whiteoak Drive. I knocked on his door and rang his doorbell, to no avail. "God, where is he?" I muttered to myself. I was about to leave when I noticed a small basement window next to the front steps. It was covered by bushes, but I could tell there was definitely a light on in there. Thinking quickly, I kneeled on the ground and dug through the bushes to get a better look. I cursed as the twigs and thorns jabbed at my clothes. I no longer could afford expensive things, and I was in no hurry to ruin the few clothes I had.
Peering into the little window, I gasped at what I was seeing. Xander was there, with Aurora, and they were heavily making out on a sofa bed. From the looks of the basement, Xander had to be living down there. But that really didn't concern me. That bastard! Kissing a demon while I rang his doorbell! Couldn't stop to answer the damn door? Yuck, just watching them go at it was enough to make me lose my lunch.
I started to feel like a peeping Tomasina, so I crawled out of the bush. My pants were covered in dirt and my shirt was torn from the bushes. I thought of ringing the doorbell until their ears bled and Xander would have to answer the door, but I thought better of it. I needed to talk to Xander alone. I didn't know what Aurora was really capable of. I began the trek back to Giles' house, and I found myself silently crying as I walked. It hadn't been the first time I'd seen Xander kissing another girl on a bed. And it still hurt.
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"So, Xander was at his house with Aurora?" Buffy asked me. I nodded. "Yeah, but he didn't answer the door. I just... saw them in there." I slumped into my chair, not wanting to give details. Buffy seemed to understand.
We were all back at Giles' place, researching both Chrankler demons and Aurora's background. Giles was using his books, Willow was using her laptop, and Buffy was questioning me about my snake dream. Being a slayer, she was no stranger to prophetic dreams, and even though I'd never had any, Buffy knew that in a place like the Hellmouth, anything was possible.
"Well, this is kinda weird," Willow exclaimed. "What is it?" I asked. "Well, Aurora is registered at UC Sunnydale, but the address she's listed under is the town post office. And she said she transferred from UC Santa Barbara, right? Well, they never had her registered as a student there."
I jumped up. "I knew it! See? You guys have to believe me now! She's a DEMON!" They stared at me. "Well, not that I'm happy about that or anything," I muttered, and sat back down. Giles spoke up. "This book tells me that Chrankler demons are generally male, but because they can mutate form, they can become female if necessary. In their natural form, they appear as large and colorful snakes. They're very poisonous, and their venom will make a victim go limp and render them voiceless."
Buffy winced. "No screaming," she noted.
"Precisely," Giles continued. "What the Chrankler then does bleed the victim to death, while it, well, snacks on the victim's vital organs. It's not pretty." Buffy, Willow and I gaped at Giles. "That's horrible," Willow finally said. "We can't let that happen to Xander!"
Giles sighed and read aloud from his book. "The Chrankler is also known as a lust demon, because they often lure their victims in by playing with their minds. Chranklers only need to feed a couple of times a year, but they often kill more just for fun. In those cases, they like to 'play with their food' for up to weeks. The demons are able to read the minds of their victims in order to give them what they truly want. They are able to lure the victims in by changing form into what the victim believes is a perfect specimen. The victim will then believe he is in love and only then will the Chrankler attack."
"Ew, and this is all for fun?" Buffy made a face. "Haven't they ever heard of drinking games?" Willow looked at me. "There's no doubt in my mind now. I'm sorry I didn't believe you, Cordy." I shook my head. "No, it’s no problem," I said, staring straight ahead. "How do we kill this thing, Giles?" Buffy asked. Giles opened his mouth to answer, but I spoke quickly. "You have to cut off its head," I said, remembering my early research.
Buffy stood up. "So, we cut off Aurora's head, deed done. Come on!" Willow hesitated. "What are we going to tell Xander? He'll be heartbroken." I remained silent. "Actually," Giles began, "once Aurora, or the demon rather, is taken care of, Xander won't really be broken hearted. It says here that the demon's grip on their victim’s subconscious thoughts is so tight, that it makes them believe they've fallen in love. So really, he'll be free once Aurora is destroyed. It's best not to tell him first."
"And that settles it for me," Buffy replied. She went over to Giles' weapon chest and pulled out an axe. "Anyone wanna come watch?" she smiled. Giles and Willow stood, but I remained seated. "You guys go," I said. "I just wanna stay here until this whole thing's over, if you don't mind." Buffy shrugged. "Suit yourself. We'll be back soon." They said goodbye to me, and off they went to kill themselves a demon.
I sat on Giles' couch for a long time, just thinking. Something Giles had read to us had caught my attention. The demons are able to read the minds of their victims in order to give them what they truly want. They are able to lure the victims in by changing form into what the victim believes is a perfect specimen. Well, what was that supposed to mean if Aurora looked almost exactly like ME? I had to find Xander and speak to him. I jumped up from the couch and went out to look for him.
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Tonight, he'll be mine. He'll love me. I'll win. I'll feast.
_____________________________________________
Knocking on Xander's door for the third time that day, I almost wished Xander wasn't home. I wasn't sure of what I'd say to him. But he did answer, and my heart dropped when his smiling face frowned at the sight of me.
"Hello," I said. "Um, hi." This was awkward. "I just wanted to talk to you. It won't even take a minute." There was a loud crash inside the house and Xander groaned. "Fine, okay, but let's talk out here. I think Dad's just reached his drink limit for the night."
He stepped outside and closed the door behind him. I noticed that he was all dressed up in a completely non-Xander way. "You look nice," I said. He shrugged. "Going out with Aurora tonight. It's kinda special." My heart, which was previously in my knee, was now resting on my foot. "Oh," I said, not able to think of anything to say to that. "Well, I came by earlier. But no one answered, so..." Xander nodded. "Yeah, I think I was in the shower then. Sorry about that."
This was ridiculous. We stood there awkwardly, unable to say anything interesting. I was beginning to feel furious with him. We had almost kissed hours earlier, and then he's making out with Aurora on his couch. Now he's all dressed up in clothes he would never normally wear, not even to impress a girl, and he's lying to me about taking a shower! I didn't care that Aurora was messing with his mind, I was mad.
"You weren't taking a shower," I spat out. "You were in the basement groping on your girlfriend as if you hadn't eaten in months." Xander blinked in surprise. "What the hell, were you spying on me or something?" he yelled. "It doesn't make any difference!" I huffed. "I didn't plan on seeing that, believe me. Look, I know she's your girlfriend and you think you like her or whatever, but the fact is, you almost kissed *me* today! And now you're dressed like some total idiot, taking what's her name out to somewhere special??"
He looked at me like I had two heads. "What's the big deal? I already told you that kissing you would have been a huge mistake. And yeah, I'm taking my girlfriend out, it's what boyfriends do. Dressed like an idiot? Ha! When we were together, all you ever DID was try to make me dress like this! You're being insane right now! And as a matter of fact, I don't just think I like Aurora, I love her! And I'm going to tell her that tonight!" He pulled a box out of his jacket pocket. "Not only that, but I'm asking her to marry me! I'd appreciate it if you'd just go back to Los Angeles and leave the two of us alone!"
I stared at the box he was holding. This was like a horrible nightmare. I had to be dreaming. "You're asking her to marry you?" I asked softly. Xander put the box back into his pocket. "Yes, tonight."
At that moment, it didn't occur to me that Aurora would be dead long before the ceremony. Just hearing Xander proclaim his love for another woman hurt me. I knew I was being a total moron. I should have been over Xander by now, but I just wasn't. More than anything, I wanted to be with him.
I stuttered. "But, but you've only known her a few weeks." Xander looked me in the eyes. "Sometimes a few weeks are more than enough. I love her, Cor. And I can't mess this up. I can't let love go this time." He slid past me and walked back inside, shutting the door in front of me.
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I sat on the corner of Whiteoak Drive for twenty minutes, crying and thinking. I was becoming a pathetic shell of myself. Crying over a boy. What was that all about? I knew this wasn't like Xander, he was doing and saying things he never would have before. When I saw Xander drive by in his uncle's car, I knew Buffy couldn't have found Aurora yet. If Aurora was dead, Xander's love for her would be cured, and he wouldn't be going to meet her and propose.
I had to follow Xander and stop this myself. I knew that once Xander confessed his love to Aurora, her game would be over, she would have won. And Xander would be dead. It was up to me to stop her.
There weren't many romantic spots in Sunnydale. Nowhere good enough to propose at. Then I remembered that Aurora and Xander had met at the Bronze. The place would be empty tonight for repairs. It was perfect. Aurora would be able to kill Xander right there, with no witnesses.
I ran as fast as I could to the Bronze. I didn't know if my reasoning was right, but it was the only shot I had. I couldn't let him die.
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I reached the Bronze ten minutes later, out of breath and sweating. Since I hadn't changed out of my dirty, torn clothes from this afternoon, I was looking ten kinds of nasty. The old me would have bitched about my appearance, but I couldn't care less now. I had to find them, before Aurora ate Xander.
I was pleased to find Xander's car parked in front of the club, but I didn't see Xander or Aurora anywhere. The place was locked up, so they couldn't have been inside. Finally, I spotted them. They were standing in a dark corner outside of the club, well hidden. Just standing in a corner, kissing. I blanched at the sight.
I cleared my throat loudly to distract them. They jumped apart, surprised. "Cordelia?" Xander stared at me like he couldn't believe I had the balls. "What the hell are you doing here?" Aurora frowned. "What, is she stalking you?" she asked Xander. "Poor thing... some people never know when to let go." Oh, that does it. "Aurora, sweetie, we both know what's going on here tonight. Give up the act."
Xander looked confused. "What are you talking about?" He turned to Aurora. "What is she talking about?" Aurora shook her head, leaning against Xander and straightening his collar. "Baby, she's crazy. Who knows why she's following you." She kissed his cheek. "She won't ruin tonight for us. I know you had something you wanted to tell me." Xander seemed to have forgotten all about me, only focusing on Aurora now, a dumb expression glued to his face. "Yes, Aurora, I wanted to tell you something... and ask you something..."
"Hello?" I said, waving my arms. "Still here. Xander, listen to me. You can't do it. She's a demon!" Aurora snorted. "There's only one demon here, honey, and it's you. Crazy demon in need of a bath." She pinched her nose and made a face. "Where have you been, the town dump?" I narrowed my eyes. I had to remain focused. "Xander... Aurora's a Chrankler demon, the kind of demon Buffy's been trying to catch for weeks now. She's planning on eating you tonight! Jesus! Why aren't you listening to me?"
Xander frowned. "Cord, please go away. Go back to Los Angeles and never come back. I don't ever want to see you again!" I shook my head. "No, that's not true. Aurora's making you say that. C'mon, Xander, use your brain! She's a demon! A frickin' demon!" I remembered what Giles had said about Chranklers changing forms. "And she's a MAN demon!!" Xander looked fazed for a second, but just shrugged, as if this was perfectly acceptable. Aurora, however, had a look on her face that screamed positive rage.
"Screw this!" she yelled. "I was doing this for fun, but now I don't even care!" In one solid movement, she grabbed Xander's neck and lifted him off the ground, her orange painted fingernails stabbing him and drawing blood. I screamed and tried to run towards them to help, but my feet were planted on the ground in fear. Aurora had bitten into Xander's right shoulder when I finally snapped out of it and ran to him. "Get the hell off of him, you bitch!" I pulled her off of Xander and she fell on her back. I lunged at her, and we wrestled on the filthy ground.
She fought dirty, using her long orange talons to scrape my face and arms, and biting my wrists so hard that they bled. I grabbed her neck and began to squeeze, hoping to at least knock her out, but it was no use. I felt Aurora's body begin to mutate beneath me, and I could only stare in horror as she slowly turned into a horridly ugly, giant orange and red snake. I lost my grasp and the snake slithered all around me until it had wrapped its body around me, with no way for me to escape. The snake cackled as if it was having the time of its life, and try as I might, wriggling my body around, it was no use. I was trapped. The Chrankler was crushing me to death. Suddenly, I couldn't breathe so well. I tried to scream, but I didn't have enough oxygen.
I could barely see Xander in the corner of my eye. He was lying on the ground, and I hoped to God he was only passed out. The snake bit into my left shoulder, which is when I realized that this was exactly like my dream. I couldn't wait for the demon to eat my insides. I wasn't about to die like this.
The Chrankler bit me once again, drawing even more blood. The pain was enough to send me over the edge, and I found my voice. "Stop!" I shouted. "That hurts, goddamn it!" I tilted my head and bit the snake with all my might, puncturing its slimy skin and drawing out gooey, tangerine-colored liquid. The snake hissed and drew back, stunned that I had actually done such a thing. I was now able to move my arm, and before the snake could grasp its hold again I leapt up and started to kick the crap out of it. I didn't know what I was doing, but beating the snot out of the snake not only made it hiss in pain, but it sure felt good for me. "How do you like them apples? Huh? Huh?" I shouted at the Chrankler, full of rage. "Never! Ever! Try! To! Kill! My! Former! Boyfriend! Again! Got! That!"
Somehow, I managed to gain control of myself for a moment, and grabbed a nearby piece of metal off the dirty ground. The snake tried to slither away, but I grabbed hold of it again. "Bye now," I said sweetly, and tore through the snake's head, ripping it off.
Standing up, I felt dizzy. I had staked vampires before, but brutally killing a demon was something else all together. My clothes, hands and face were covered in orange slime, which I assumed was blood. I turned around and saw Xander sitting up, and I rushed over to him, kneeling to his level.
"Xander? Are you all right?" I asked, tearing up. He looked bad. His neck was gushing out blood, making him pale, and he had hit his head when he fell, which had given him a gigantic bump on his forehead. I tore off the sleeve off my shirt and held it against his neck. "I'm... I'm... I don't know. What happened?" "It's okay," I said. "I'll tell you everything later. Just stay strong right now. Where are your car keys?" He pointed to his pocket. I fetched them out, and he immediately passed out. "Oh shit," I muttered, diving to catch his head before he fell back onto the ground. I started to bawl, feeling helpless, afraid and alone, but I knew I had to get Xander help or he'd bleed to death. I stood up again, pulling Xander up with me. I dragged him to his car and carefully opened the door and tossed him gently into the front seat. I jumped into the driver's seat and sped off for Sunnydale General Hospital, one hand on the wheel, another holding Xander's neck, crying all the way.
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The scratchy sound system poured music out into the dimly lit club. I looked around, waiting, but he hadn't shown up yet. It had been two days since I had killed Aurora, and I had only gotten out of the hospital yesterday. Xander and I both had deep wounds that needed treating, but even though we had both been staying in the hospital together, we hadn't seen each other. We had slept most of the days away.
Tonight was my last night in Sunnydale. I was well enough to drive again, and Angel and Doyle had both called me in the hospital to tell me how much I was needed - apparently, the office was a mess, and I was the only one who was savvy enough to tackle a mop and some Windex. Xander had been released today, and we had agreed to meet at the Bronze to say good-bye tonight, but he was late.
I saw Buffy walk into the club, and I waved her over to my table. "Hey, Cordy," she greeted me. "How are you doing?" I asked. She shrugged her shoulders. "I’m all right. I still feeling really badly about not getting to Aurora before she shredded you and Xander." I grinned. "It's okay. I handled it." Buffy still looked guilty. "I know, but it was my job, and I swear we had swept the Bronze before, but I guess you guys all showed up after we had left." She perked up. "But you had to be amazing. You killed that demon sucka! Rock on, Cordy." I mocked a bow. "Thank you, thank you," I giggled. "Still, don't expect me to quit my day job."
I spotted Xander walking into the Bronze from the corner of my eye. Buffy followed my gaze. Upon seeing Xander, she turned back to me. "That's my cue. It was good having you back." She leaned in, and I expected an awkward hug, but instead Buffy just laughed. "We're not really hugging kind of friends, are we?" she asked. I contemplated. "Screw it," I said, and hugged her. After, she gathered her drink and purse and went to look for Willow.
Xander walked over to the table. "Can I sit?" he asked. "Of course," I said, and motioned to the seat next to my own. "How are you feeling?" I asked, wincing at the sight of his bruised neck and forehead. He shook his head. "Probably the same as you," he said, pointing out my own cuts and bruises.
He sighed and sunk into his chair. "Cordelia, I just wanted to say thank you. I should have listened to you when you came to me." I shook off his apology. "Don't even think about it. You were under Aurora's control. It really wasn't your fault." He tilted his head and his locks fell onto his forehead in a messy clump. "I still feel bad for what I said to you, though. You know I didn't mean any of it." I smiled. "Of course," I started. "But I've been meaning to ask you something. And I really don't want to leave here tonight without bringing it up, because I know it'll torture me if I don't ask." He nodded, urging me to go on.
"Well," I continued, "when Giles was researching the Chrankler, he came up with all this information on its habits and rituals. It said that the demon was able to read minds and change its form to fit it's victim's description of the 'perfect specimen' or something." Xander was beginning to get a funny look on his face. "Anyway, I just wasn't sure if that meant something or not. Because I did notice that Aurora and I shared some resemblances. Like, in an eerie way," I finished, getting worried about what he'd have to say for himself.
Xander took a deep breath before delving in to explain. "Wow. That makes sense, I guess. I mean, I just thought it was some weird coincidence." He swallowed. "Cord, I don't know how I can explain this." I reached across the table and placed my hands on his for comfort. "Go on," I coaxed. "Well, it's just... like how we almost kissed. I wanted to so badly, you have no idea. And I really feel that was me speaking then and not Aurora. I'll admit that, even if you did end up pissed at me. I wanted to kiss you, but I was scared of making the same mistakes. Until Aurora came into my life, I was a wreck. I was lonely and I missed you. I just started thinking about you a lot for some reason. Remembering things and missing things. So yeah, you were my perfect specimen." He looked away from me and stared at the empty stage of the club, so he couldn't see the grin that was building up on my face.
"Xander... I have to tell you a secret." His eyes wandered back to mine. "I had been doing the same thing lately. I don't know what it was, but the littlest things would trigger memories and I would just drift back to you, to us, to what we had. I thought I should be over you by now, so I felt really stupid. And I don't know, maybe I was over you and doing okay with things. But something made me think of you, and then I just couldn't stop. Maybe we were total idiots back then. I know I was. And we both made mistakes, but hell, it was high school. We had an amazing time together while it lasted, and then maybe we needed to spend an amazing time apart."
He nodded, agreeing with me. "But now, for some reason, we're having an amazing time not being over each other," he commented. I was silent for a moment that seemed more like an eternity, just thinking things over. But I suddenly felt a smile on my face, and I rose from the table. "I don't feel like analyzing," I began. "This isn't Dawson's Creek. You're needed in Sunnydale, and I'm needed in Los Angeles. But as much as Buffy and Angel want to believe, they aren't that far apart. And we have oodles of time to work this all out." He grinned at me, happy that I was being cool about this. "Now come on and dance with me," I said.
I took his hand and led him onto the dance floor. Some slow ballad was playing, so we danced close, arms wrapped around each other. We couldn't stop gazing at one another. It was almost freeing not to have a resolution. It was a perfect moment in time where anything was possible. When he flashed me that perfect impish smile of his, I just about melted. "You know," I said, "this all started with one little kiss in a basement." He leaned in closer. "Are you trying to start this all over again, Mr. Harris?" I teased. "You bet I am," he affirmed, and sealed the deal with a kiss that would have knocked my socks off, had I been wearing any. Right then and there, I knew I was in for the long haul. This time, I promised myself as I stood there kissing my first love, I would enjoy every moment. I guess life really was fair sometimes.
i know a girl who reminds me of cher
shes always changing the color of her hair
she dont use nothing to buy at the store
she likes her hair to be real orange
she uses tangerines, tangerines, tangerines
tangerines, tangerines, tangerines
-- vaseline, by flaming lips
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