Spike opened the bathroom door and closed it behind him. “Buffy, we need to talk,” he said.
Buffy fixed her back, wincing at the pain in her spine. “Get out,’’ she said.
“Buffy, please,” Spike whispered.
Buffy turned to look at him. “What? You gunna explain to me why you slept with Anya. What am I supposed to say? You want me to say that I hate you and I never wanna see you again?” She flared.
Spike crossed his arms. “I don’t want you to say anything. I want you to listen for once,” he said, taking an unnecessary breath. “I wanna know what’s going on in that mind of yours,” he said. “You tell I’m evil and disgusting but you cant stay away. You make up excuse after excuse to cover it up. For a while I allowed it. Since you’ve told me that they pulled you out of heaven, I’ve tried to give you everything you need. You’re taking it out on my that they took you from Heaven. I had nothing to do with that. I cant give heaven to you, and I cant be Peaches or Captain Cardboard. If you didn’t feel anything, you shouldn’t have started it,” he said.
Buffy had tears running down her face. “Spike, I never wanted you to be Angel or Riley. But I cant trust you,” she whispered.
“Why the hell not? I looked after Dawn and your mates. I was your boy toy. What else do you want me to do?” Spike asked. “I’ve been able to hurt you for months and even when you treated me like shit, I didn’t hurt you.”
“Ok I lied. I do trust you. Spike, its not that I don’t want to love you. I do. But I cant,” she whispered.
“Why? Because its wrong?” Spike asked, bitterly.
“Because I don’t know how!” Buffy flared. “Spike, Dawn doesn’t even feel like my sister. Every time I do something, I don’t feel. I’m empty. The only time I feel anything is when I’m with you. I don’t feel love, hate, kindness, hunger, thirst. I’m just empty,” she whispered.
Spike’s eyes softened and he went toward her to frame her face. “You can feel. I feel it in you every time I touch you,” he said, wiping her tears.
“That’s because you made it. If I’m not with you, I feel nothing,” she whispered.
Spike sighed. “Well, I don’t what to tell you. I cant give heaven to you, because lord knows I’ve tried,” he said.
Buffy leaned against him and tensed for a second when his arms encircled her. “You’ve given me more then I could’ve ever ask for. I just need to live again,” she said.
“And how am I supposed to be with you when you’re dealing with that?” Spike asked.
“Just being here with me and not giving up on me,” Buffy whispered, picking her head up.
Spike leaned down and kissed her softly. “Just don’t push me away,” he said. “I cant help you if you don’t let me.”
Buffy nodded and sniffled. “I’m sorry,” she whispered.
“Its okay,” Spike said, softly. “Its always ok.”
|
|
|
|
Rave
Barbie Girl (Becca)
biscuit07
Filmtheory (Jim)
Malice (Jess)
MebbtheScribe (MichaelB)
Reset (Allie)
Shay (Marrisa)
somnambulist29 (Shea)
Stephanie Loss
Wendyness (Wendy)
Questions?Contact Us
|
|
All stories on this site have been archived with the authors' consent. Do not copy these stories for your own uses without the express consent of the author themselves. Buffy the Vampire Slayer TM and Angel TM are © UPN, WB, Fox and its related entities. All photos on the site are © UPN, Fox, Warner Bros, and/or their respective owners. No profits are being made by use of these images.
Powered with the assitance of eFiction.
|
|
|
