Buffy turned her radio on a slipped into the bathtub. She sighed when the warm
water came in contact with her skin. It was the perfect temperature for her aching muscles. She closed her eyes and laid her head on the side of the tub.
I'm so tired of being here
suppressed by all my childish fears
and if you have to leave
I wish that you would just leave
'cause your presence still lingers here
and it wont leave me alone
This was exactly what she needed right now. Life had gotten too complicated lately. Every minute of every day was spent searching for the new slayers. She had thought activating the potentials would make life easier but it had just made things harder. Not only did they have to track them down, but they had to train and assign them watchers too. It was just too much.
These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is jut too real
Theres just too much that time cannot erase
Despite that is was tiring, tracking the slayers was awarding in a way. At least it was to the others. Giles and Willow had rebuilt the Watcher's Council and now they had small groups of slayers stationed in almost every major city.
When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your
fears And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have
all of me
The groups of slayers had been so effective that demonic activity had been at a lull the past few months. Willow had told her that she could take a break and live the life she'd always wanted. She could finally be a normal girl. But she didn't want a normal life. The past couple of years had made her realize that being the slayer was her life. Without slaying her life was nothing. All the new slayers had taking that away from her. Now her life was meaningless.
You used to captivate me
By your resonating light
Now I'm bound by the life you've left behind
Your face it haunts my once pleasant dreams
Your voice it chased away all the sanity in me
Not only did activating the potentials take away her slaying but it took away her family too. Giles moved to England to set up the council, Willow was in Brazil with Kennedy, and Xander had gone to Africa searching for slayers. With them all spread out in different parts of the globe, they talked maybe once a week if they were lucky.
These wounds wont seem to heal
This pain in just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase
On top of that she couldn't make a relationship last. Angel had been her first and greatest love, but their relationship had been doomed from the start, anybody could see that. After he had came back from hell they had tried to make it work but it ended with him leaving to protect her.
Next came Riley. At first she had been hesitant to start a relationship with him but after a while she began to have feelings for him. Soon she found herself starting to believe that she could love somebody besides Angel. But like Angel Riley had left her.
Her relationship with Spike had started out being based on want. He was the only thing that made her feel alive after being brought back and she hadn't wanted to let go of that. But after a while she had started to fall in love him and not wanting to admit it to herself she had pushed him away. Instead of leaving he had stuck by her and was always there when she needed him. Just when she was ready to tell him how she felt he had died defeating the first and hadn't believed her when she told him. With the gang gone and no man in her life she truly was alone.
When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you screamed I'd fight away all of your fears
She was tired of this emptiness. She wanted it to go away. To do that she was going to take the only way out she knew.
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have all of me
Dawn walked to the bathroom door and knocked. Buffy had been in there a while now and she was starting to get worried
I've tried so hard to tell myself that your gone
She knocked again and when she didn't get an answer she pushed the door open. Nothing could prepare her for what she found.
But though you're still with me
I've been alone all along
Buffy lay with her head on the back of the tub and from the doorway it looked like she was sleeping. But when she walked closer she noticed how red the water was.
When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
Dawn rushed to her sister's side and began shaking her franticly. “ Buffy? Buffy! Come on wake up. Please don't leave me again! I need you! Buffy please.” She sank to the floor and broke down.
And I held your hand through all of these years
She knew Buffy had been depressed lately but for her to do this? This was beyond her. Her sister had been too strong of a person to do something like this.
But you still have
All of me
She came to her senses and began CPR. After a while she knew it was no use. Buffy was already gone.
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