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Prologue
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A strong wind blew past, blowing Willow’s red hair into a tussle and scattering her notebook paper across the empty playground. “Well that’s just… perfect” Growling in frustration, she listlessly rises from the park bench and begins gathering her strewn work.
“That was bloody beautiful, pet”
She knew that voice almost to well. It was really not the person she wanted to talk to right now but then again she knew it was inevitable; He was her best friend and the – in her dreams – object of her affection. Glancing up through her tousled hair she spots a tall bleached blonde smirking at her. “Oh shut up, William!” She loved to use his real name. It got on his nerves sometime but she knew he secretly loved it. To everyone else he was Spike, but to her; He was William.
He chuckled smugly as he bent down to help her. “Ohhhh. Touchy, touchy… What’s with the attitude, luv?”
Standing up, she sighed and ran her hands back through her hair setting it back into place “I’m not being touchy… I’m just frustrated.”
William handed her the remainder of the dissertation which she simply stuffed in a notebook “Ah, thanks”
With a slight drag in her step, she walks over to the abandoned swing set, drops the notebook on the ground and park herself on the only swing not ravaged.
In tow, William stalks over and leans against the pole of the swing set; watching as she pushes herself into motion. “Ok, so what is it that’s got you all bothered?”
“Nothing.” slowly gaining acceleration, she sighs again and looks down at her feet; lightly swaying back and forth.
“Nothing?” his tone was serious with concern. He knew something was wrong with her even at school she seemed sort of down. He meant to have a talk with her at lunch but Buffy had dragged him off to the library to do some studying.
“Yes nothing” she lied. There was something thing wrong something very wrong but she would just rather not admit it– especially not to him. “I’m just sad” She looks up at him somewhat coyly “I’m just having an off day… ya know I woke up late had a pop quiz and I'm just all around stressed.”
“That’s a bloody lie if I’ve ever heard one.” It was true. They had been best friends for the past three years and he knew even when the slightest thing was bothering her. “I know something’s wrong… you’ve been on edge all day and I know very well that it’s not because of school”
She rolled her eyes and physically had to restrain herself from retorting. There was no way he could have Known. He was far too much infatuated with his new girlfriend, Buffy to even notice. But the fact that he tried almost made her want to laugh. “Well it’s true so deal”
“No, it’s not…” Suddenly, Spike grabbed the rusty chains of the swing and turned them forcing his friend to look at him. “Now will you just tell me what’s wrong?”
“No”
"Why?"
"Because"
Still holding on to the chains he drops to a crouching position in front of her and looks up into her eyes hoping to find a trace of what was bothering her. “Red please, just tell me what’s wrong…”
She sighed. Baby blue eyes burring deep into her own green ones tore her… like they always did. She wanted to tell him everything. That she was in love with him. That she had been in love with him for the past two years and could never tell him. That she only realized just how much she liked him after he started dating little miss perfect. And the fact that she was extremely jealous.
“Do you really want to know?”
He nodded looking at her expectantly. She was like his little sister and it hurt to see her like this. Sure, he knew that lately he had been a little less accessible but that should not have changed anything. Right?
She sigh, contemplating how to word it. “Fine. But you’re gonna laugh cuz it’s really not important and well… laughable…”
“I’m not going to laugh, pet”
“Yea sure. Anyway it’s just… well I finally realized something” She trailed off unsure of how to continue. She wanted to tell him so badly but knew that it was just going to spoil things. "You know what just for get it… I-It's just something I've got to deal with"
"Willow, Come on. This is me you're talking to remember? Your best friend. I'm here for you no matter what so just tell me." William felt somewhat distraught. She had never held anything back from him before; he was always the one she came crying to, no matter what.
The red head took a deep breath and looked down in to her lap. "It's just um… Well I'm having guy problems." It wasn't a lie. "You probably don't what to hear it"
"Just tell me"
"W-well ok… It's just… well I finally realized that I'm really falling for this guy and he barely knows I exist… and if he does he sees me as n-nothing more than a friend… And… and I am finally realizing that I'm just going to have to except the fact that he's never gonna see me because I'm just nerdy 'ol Willow. He's never gonna see me and I'm just gonna have to settle for being a lateral friend." There. That was not too bad. Technically she told him… just not really.
William cringed inwardly and let go of the swing. Xander. He had thought that Willow had a little crush on his friend but he had not realized that it had gone so deep. To make it worse he knew for a fact that Xander only liked her as a friend. "Oh come on, you're not a nerd."
"Well I'm nothing special" Her heart sank a little more as he let go of the swing. She like having him close, even if it was in a strictly platonic friendship sort of way. Pouting a bit, she slowly began rocking back in forth.
"Yes you are. Red look at me" Still crouching next to her, he waited for her to look him in the eye. He could she the twinge in her eyes when she did. He offered her a smile. "Willow, luv, you shouldn't put yourself down like that. You're a wonderful girl." She sighed and gave him a look. He knew that look. "You are. You're cute, funny, and charming, not to mention one of the smartest people I know. If that git doesn’t see that then it's his bloody loss. No sense moping over him. If he can't see you then you shouldn't waste your time on him. Find someone better and the stupid git won't know what hit him."
He still did not know it was him that she had been talking about. It was a relief and a let down intertwined. Shyly, Willow looked down at him. "You really think I-I'm cute?" She winced as she heard the words slid out of her mouth. It sounded pitiful and she knew it… but she still wanted to hear it. Even if it had been out of pity.
"Of course, luv. Wouldn't have said it if it wasn't true. You should know that by now"
"I guess" She smiled slightly. He thought she was cute. That was a plus right? And to make things just a smidge better he just insulted himself. Maybe he was right. If she could not have him then maybe she could make him jealous.
He saw the small smile on her face and let out a slight sigh of relief. He hated the fact that he had to force it out of her but he was glad he did. He didn't want her to lose herself over some guy. She would be heart broken if she found out what Xander really thought about her. He may have been busy lately but he was still her best friend and just being able to help her a little was satisfying. Maybe he could talk her and Buffy into spending a little bit of time together. If they became friends then he would have it made. "So, are you ok now or is there something else bothering you?"
"No that's it… uh thanks for the advice" At very least she was still his friend and she could possibly give him bad guidance next time he came to her with girl issues. Under the right light, some would say she had it made.
He smiled and stood up. "Don't mention pet"
There was a small awkward silence. This had been happening a lot lately. It was unsettling to both friends. Things were changing and neither were sure what it was.
William resumed his position against the rusting poll and watched his red headed friend push off. "So, I heard that new girl Tara's in to Wicca too. I haven't had a chance to talk to her, have you?"
"Yeah, she's really shy but she seems pretty cool"
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