standard disclaimer - i dont own anything :( well actually i own the omniscient narrator voice but nevermind
AN - ok insane little fic that i wrote at quarter to four in the morning. just thought some characters should be made to confront a couple of issues...this is so unlike anything else ive ever written so please dont judge me on it (unless you like it) flames will be disregarded (i'm not making you read it) but feel free to review
haha i wield the power of the omniscient narrator who whisks away characters to a little badly lit room (ok its the cupboard under the stairs) and forces them to internally reflect on some of their beliefs and ultimately agree with me
very confused and disorientated BUFFY: where am i???
ONV:hey buffy. your in the cupb...um..nevermind. lets get to the root of the matter. now buffy, is it or is it not true that the reason you were so horrible to spike last year was because of the implications he had for your relationship with angel
BUFFY: what the hell are you talking about scary omniscient narrator voice??
ONV: come on dont try to pretend. we all know you think that if spike could truly love you when he was soulless then angel should have been able to as well.
BUFFY:no that cant be it
ONV: (pause) ok sorry forgot i'm a voice. tried to raise my eyebrows in a look of sarcastic skepticism
BUFFY: well maybe just a little bit
ONV: and when taking all things into consideration whose behaviour do you think was worse - yours or spikes?
BUFFY: oh come on he was a soulless monster
ONV: ok for our studio audience here's a quick recap...buffy's favourite hobby - punching spike in the nose and pretending she didnt like him and beating him up so that even with his vamp healing it took ages for the bruises to go...
BUFFY: alright alright i was worse
confused buffy is replaced by an even more confused xander. ONV decides to speak before xander can begin pondering his whereabouts...
ONV: please state your first objection to a relationship between buffy and spike
XANDER: he tried to rape her!!
ONV: think back to her first year in sunnydale if you will, you were possessed by a hyena and you tried to rape her. you did it long before Spike here. next objection
XANDER: he's a demon
ONV: so was Anya
XANDER: he's killed thousands of people
ONV: who'd do you think has killed more people, spike in his hundred n thirty or so years as a killer, or Anya in the thousand years she had to perfect killing people. plus you summoned sweet who burned a load of people to death. you have anything else??
XANDER: he's a soulless evil monster
ONV: formerly soulless, hasnt really been evil for a good few years. cant argue the monster, but i'm pretty sure that there was a thery kicking around a few years back about all men being monsters
XANDER: (tentatively) he left after promising he wouldnt?
ONV:cos obviously you've never left anyone. you criticised buffy for that and then did a similar thing, you ever think about how contradictory your behaviour is?
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