Buffy went to the high school basement looking for Spike, not sure if it was her imagination or not. What she found made her stomach churn.
Spike was laying on the floor,
shivering. “Spike?” She whispered, softly.
Spike’s eyes fluttered open and Buffy frowned. His eyes were blood shot and there was something else in his eyes. “Go away,” he whimpered.
Buffy crouched next to him. “You’re back,” she said, running her fingers over his forehead.
Spike trembled at her touch. “I’m sorry,” he whispered. “I never wanted to hurt you.”
Buffy sat on the floor and pulled his head into her lap. “Shhh,” she whispered. “I know. I’m just glad you’re home.”
“I love you,” Spike whispered. “I don’t care if you don’t love me. Not anymore.”
Tears welled in Buffy’s eyes. “I’m sorry Spike,” she whispered. “Come on. Lets get you home and we’ll talk.”
Spike sniffled and climbed to his feet. “Buffy, I…”
Buffy placed her finger over his lips. “Lets go,” she said, gently pulling him out of the basement.
At the house, Dawn wasn’t expecting Spike to be there. “Spike?” She whispered, emotion choking her voice.
Spike looked up at her with guilt in his eyes. “Dawn..”
Dawn went over and smacked him across the face as hard as she could. “I hate you,” she said, before going upstairs.
Tears ran down his face and he rubbed his cheek.
“She missed you.” Buffy said. “I know she wants to talk to you.”
Spike looked at her before going upstairs. He paused outside of Dawn’s room. “Dawn?”
“Go away,” came a cold and nasty voice.
“Dawn, I’m sorry,” Spike said.
“That’s not good enough,” Dawn said.
Spike sniffled and wiped his tears. “Can we talk Dawn? Please?”
“No,” she said. Spike could hear the tears threatening to come out. “You promised never to leave me and you did.”
“Dawn,” Spike whimpered. “I had to go.”
Dawn finally opened the door. “No you didn’t” she said, tears in her eyes.
“Yes I did,” Spike said, his tears flooding down his cheeks.
“I don’t care about what happened between you and Buffy. I love you and you left me when I need you. When Warren shot and killed Tara. I found her in Willow’s room and I didn’t understand why. I would’ve rather heard what happened from you or Buffy not Xander. I might be more forgiving.”
“Tara?” Spike whispered.
“Yeah. He was trying to kill Buffy and a stray bullet hit Tara,” Dawn said.
“Dawn, I’m sorry I wasn’t here,” Spike said. “You know I wouldn’t leave you without telling you unless it was an emergency.”
“That’s not gunna bring Tara back,” Dawn whispered. “I’m not gunna forgive you either.”
“I’m not asking you to,” Spike said. “Dawn you have no idea how hard it was for me to just take off.”
“It couldn’t have been that hard,” Dawn said, pushing past him and going downstairs.
Spike sniffled and went downstairs after her. Just as he got down he heard Dawn yell. “He didn’t rape me Buffy! I did nothing to him. Why was I punished for your mistakes?” She wailed.
“Dawn,” Spike said, going into the kitchen. “I wasn’t trying to punish you.”
“Where were you there?” Dawn asked. “When Tara was lying on the floor dead? When Willow tried to kill me or when Buffy and I were stuck in the ground? Where were you when we tried to save Willow?”
“Africa,” Spike answered.
“What the hell did Africa have that you couldn’t get here?” Dawn asked, angrily.
“My soul,” Spike said, meeting Dawn’s eyes the Buffy’s.
“You got your soul back?” Buffy whispered.
“Why would you do something that?” Dawn asked, her anger seeping away.
“Because I wanted things to be okay,” he said, looking at Buffy. “Couldn’t live with myself with what I did so I wanted to give you what you deserve.”
Dawn relaxed and walked toward him. “That’s not gunna bring Tara back or change what you did,” she said.
“I know,” Spike said, softly.
“But you did come home,” Dawn said. “And that means something.”
“What does that mean?” Spike asked.
“That means if you ever leave again, I will hunt you down and kill you,” Dawn said. “No matter how much we love you.”
Spike sighed raggedly as Dawn wrapped her arms around his neck. His arms went around her waist and he kissed her hair. “I love you,” he whispered.
“I love you, too,” Dawn said, burying her face in his neck.
Buffy wiped a few stray tears and went to the back porch where she cried softly.
A few minutes later, Spike came outside. “Buffy?”
All he got were a few sniffles. He sat next to her and his hand cautiously reached out to stroke her back. “Pet?”
Buffy raised her tear filled eyes to meet his. “I’m so sorry,” she whimpered.
“For what?” Spike asked.
“For making you go through this. You must be in so much pain because of me,” she whispered, more tears making their way down her face.
Spike frowned. “Its not your fault,” he said, his fingers going through her hair.
Buffy closed her eyes at his touch before getting up. “It is my fault, Spike,” she said, walking away from him.
Spike went after her and caught her hand. “Stop saying that,” he whispered. “It’s not your fault. I was the one who…”
Buffy squeezed his hand. “But if I hadn’t used you, you wouldn’t have done that. You wouldn’t have slept with Anya and you wouldn’t have been I the bathroom,” she said.
“If Willow hadn’t pulled you out of heaven you wouldn’t have come to me to begin with,” Spike said.
“I had a long talk with Dawn,” Buffy said. “I shouldn’t have acted like I was okay. I took my pain out on you and Dawn but you guys didn’t hurt me.”
“That’s no excuse for what I did,” Spike said, tears clogging his throat.
Buffy sniffled and rested her hand on his chest. “You really have a soul?” She asked.
Spike nodded. “Yeah. I didn’t wanna leave things the way they were,” he said.
“I didn’t know if you were coming back,” she whimpered. “I felt so alone and lost. I had no idea what to do. I didn’t know if I could make it with out you.”
“You did,” Spike said, softly.
“Barely,” Buffy said, wiping her tears. “There’s something very important I have to tell you.”
“What?” Spike asked.
Buffy took a deep breath. “I’m pregnant,” she whispered. “With your baby.”
Spike’s eyes widened. “You’re pregnant?”
Buffy nodded. “Yeah. We’re going to have a baby,” she whispered.
“Us?” Spike asked.
Buffy nodded. “It is your baby. I want to raise it with you,” she said. “If you wanna stay with me.”
Spike closed her eyes as she kissed him. “I love you,” he whispered.
“I know,” Buffy said. “Maybe I’ll be able to tell you one day.”
“I can wait,” Spike said.
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