Disclaimer: The song is a Bangles song - Eternal Flame - hence the title. Obviously Angel and Buffy don't belong to me. In fact - no one does. So that's everything!
Author's Notes: . Angel has been Angelus, now he's back, and Buffy hasn't seen him. And I know that's wrong. But I guess it's technically Season 3. But I haven't seen season 3, so if I get anything wrong, please email me. Actually, email me anyway. Feedback. Please!
Close your eyes, give me your hand, darling.
Do you feel my heart beating?
Do you understand?
Do you feel the same?
Am I only dreaming?
Or is this burning an eternal flame?
Well, it's unlikely. My heart stopped beating nearly 250 years ago. No one's ever going to feel it beat again. Her heart still beats though. Buffy. I miss her. She used to feel the same, I know she did. But now, of course she doesn't. How could she? I don't know. I can't ask her. She won't talk to me. And I don't blame her. After all the things I've done, what I said, how I killed Jenny... I wish it were a dream. A horrible nightmare, but at least I could wake up from it. . No, I don't, I don't want it to be a dream. If it was a dream, I wouldn't know Buffy, I wouldn't have had her love.
I believe it's meant to be, darling.
I watch you when you are sleeping.
You belong with me
Do you feel the same?
Am I only dreaming?
Or is this burning an eternal flame?
Oh God. Oh, I watched her when she was sleeping. I left her the picture to prove it. She must have been tormented. And scared. So scared. Yeah, she's the big, tough Slayer. But even they get scared. Even .... even I get scared. I thought we belonged together. I was sure of it. It felt right. She was me and I was her and.... It was right. I couldn't have found pure happiness if it hadn't been right. But wouldn't we all be happier if I hadn't? Giles would be happier, Buffy would, Xander, Willow, everyone. I think our love would be, would have been immortal. If I hadn't messed it up. Me and my soul. Why? Why was there a �get-out clause'? Couldn't they have just let it be? I didn't feel like that when it was set on me at first, I would have done anything. But now, with Buffy, it's different. It's special, and it's gone.
Say my name - sun shines through the rain.
A whole life so lonely, then you come and ease the pain.
I don't want to lose this feeling.
She never says my name any more. Not the way she used to - filled with hope and love. And then it was �Angel'. Now it's �Angelus' and it's bitter and full of hatred and malevolence. It's as if she wants the sun to shine on me when she says it. And so do I some days. It would be over then. For good. It was more than one life that was lonely. It was more like four. But four existences are lonelier than one. But either way, I don't want it to end. But it has. It's over. I wouldn't forgive me. Why should she? I'm not going to lose the feeling. I'm going to finish while I still have it. I'm going to become the eternal flame. I'm going to sit by the window now, and wait for the sun to rise. And when it does, I'll become no more than ashes on the breeze. And maybe, just maybe, one day, she'll look back on the good times we had, and remember me with a smile not a frown. I hope she does. I'll leave this paper as my suicide note. It's unlikely anyone will find it, but....I can dream. After all, isn't that what life is? One big dream?
Say my name - sun shines through the rain.
A whole life so lonely, then you come and ease the pain.
I don't want to lose this feeling.
Close your eyes, give me your hand, darling.
Do you feel my heart beating?
Do you understand?
Do you feel the same?
Am I only dreaming?
Or is this burning an eternal flame?
|
|
|
|
Rave
Barbie Girl (Becca)
biscuit07
Filmtheory (Jim)
Malice (Jess)
MebbtheScribe (MichaelB)
Reset (Allie)
Shay (Marrisa)
somnambulist29 (Shea)
Stephanie Loss
Wendyness (Wendy)
Questions?Contact Us
|
|
All stories on this site have been archived with the authors' consent. Do not copy these stories for your own uses without the express consent of the author themselves. Buffy the Vampire Slayer TM and Angel TM are © UPN, WB, Fox and its related entities. All photos on the site are © UPN, Fox, Warner Bros, and/or their respective owners. No profits are being made by use of these images.
Powered with the assitance of eFiction.
|
|
|
