~I own none of the characters and the song "Who You'd be Today" belongs to Kenny Chesney
He sat on the edge of his bed looking out the window trying to decide if he was going to get up. His friends Charles Gunn, Liam ‘Angel’ O’Connon, and Xander Harris had all called the night before to see if he wanted to do anything but he had told them all no. This was a hard time of year for him and they all knew it. Even though she had died fifteen years ago he still had a hard time this time of year. In two days it would be exactly fifteen years since she had died. People who didn’t know him well would have called him eccentric or even crazy, because whenever it came close to the anniversary he would stay in and then at some point play the song he had written about two months after the funeral. He decided now would be the best time to play the song. The first verse came out slow.
Sunny days seem to hurt the most.
I wear the pain like a heavy coat.
I feel you everywhere I go.
I see your smile, I see your face,
I hear you laughin' in the rain.
I still can't believe you're gone.
He stopped for a second to try and stop the tears that had begun to form. He knew it was going to happen but he never liked it. He continued on.
It ain't fair: you died too young,
Like the story that had just begun,
But death tore the pages all away.
God knows how I miss you,
All the hell I've been through,
Just knowin' no-one could take your place.
An' sometimes I wonder,
Who'd you be today?
He did think about it a lot and would sometimes even imagine who she’d be.
Would you see the world? Would you chase your dreams?
Settle down with a family,
I wonder what would you name your babies?
Some days the sky's so blue,
I feel like I can talk to you,
An' I know it might sound crazy
It ain't fair: you died too young,
Like the story that had just begun,
But death tore the pages all away.
God knows how I miss you,
All the hell I've been through,
Just knowin' no-one could take your place.
An' sometimes I wonder,
Who you'd be today?
Today, today, today.
Today, today, today.
His voice was starting to sound raspy with emotion but he continued on. Nobody was there watching him so he didn’t care.
Sunny days seem to hurt the most.
I wear the pain like a heavy coat.
The only thing that gives me hope,
Is I know I'll see you again some day.
Some day, some day, some day
The song was done and he felt like he was going to breakdown at any moment until he heard a voice, her voice.
“Spike, you have to let go.” She said smiling sadly.
“How can I, luv. You meant everthing to me.” Spike said. He knew that anybody saw him would probably think he was crazy. He was sure she was just a hallucination.
“I know but they’re worried. They don’t like seeing you like this.” She said.
“It’s hard though.” He said. He wanted to reach out and touch her.
“I know but you have to. If anything do it for me.” She said
“I’ll try.” Was his response.
“Thanks. I have to go but know I always love you and I know you always love me.” She said and suddenly she disappeared.
Spike didn’t know if he was going crazy or if what he had seen was real. He decided he was going to call Angel though.
“Hey, Angel, is that offer to do something today still open?” he asked hoping it would be.
“Um, sure, Spike. How are you?” Angel asked and Spike could hear the sincerity in his voice.
“I’m doing ok. Thought it’s about time I got out of this apartment.” He said with a small smile on his face.
“Well, ok than. I’ll call the guys and we’ll meet at the bar in ten minutes.” Angel said and then they both said their goodbyes and hung up. Spike got dressed and showered pretty fast and went out the door and towards the bar.
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