Spike appeared in front of Buffy as she was patrolling and Buffy dropped her arm that was holding a stake.
“Can we talk?” Spike asked.
“Vocal cord wise? Yes. With each other? No,” Buffy said, walking away.
“We have to talk,” Spike said.
“About what?” Buffy asked, not looking at him.
“We kissed Buffy,” Spike said.
“So?” Buffy muttered.
“Well what was that Buffy?” Spike asked, going over to her.
“Spike, I don’ think I can start something with you,” she said, softly.
“Why?” Spike asked softly.
“Because it’s been almost a year since I’ve had a boyfriend and I always get left out in the cold by the men I love because I do something wrong. I can’t do that again,” she said, going past him.
Spike grabbed her arm gently. “What makes you think I’m gunna leave you out in the cold?”
“Because everyone else does it. Why would you be any different?” She asked, looking at him.
“Because I love you more then the others,” Spike said.
“What makes you think that?” Buffy asked, as he released her arm.
“’Cause I’ve been here through thick and thin,” Spike said. “I was here when Captain Cardboard left, although tat was my fault. I was here when your mom died, for Glory, when you died. Even though you weren’t here, I stayed cuz you asked me to, and I couldn’t abandon Dawn. You were my reason for existing and then I saw your body laying on pile of bricks and I didn’t wanna go on anymore. That’s how much I know I love you more. Because I’ve never given up on you. Even when you pushed me away I still stayed and had faith in you,” Spike said.
There were tears in Buffy’s eyes and one slid down her cheek. “Spike, I don’t know how to live in this world much less love you. I can’t stand being around anyone except you. I didn’t know you cared so much about me but I don’t know what to do,” she said, all her tears sliding over.
Spike frowned and cradled her face between his hands. “I can be here for you and help you. If you let me,” he said, running his thumbs gently under her eyes.
Buffy looked at him. “Tomorrow come to the magic box and be there with me while I talk to the gang,” she said, softly.
“I can do that,” Spike said, softly.
Buffy slid her arms around his waist and
snuggled up against him.
The next day, Giles pulled Buffy into the training room.
“How can you possibly think of leaving me when I really need somebody? You know what happened to me and now you’re leaving? I can’t do this with out you,” Buffy said, sitting next to her watcher.
“You can. That’s why I’m going. You need to learn to live again and you wont as long as I’m around,” Giles said.
“You’re wrong,” Buffy said, leaving the training room.
A few minutes later, Spike came into the shop. He noticed Buffy sitting on the ladder with a saddened expression on her face.
“Spike what are you doing here?” Xander asked.
“I asked him to be here,” Buffy said, going over to him.
“You okay?” Spike asked.
Buffy shook her head as Giles stood up. “I have an announcement to make. I’m headed back to England and this time I plan to stay forever,” He said.
“Now? After everything?” Xander asked.
“Yes now,” Giles said.
Spike looked down at Buffy and wrapped an arm around her. Buffy leaned into him then fainted.
At the same time, Tara fainted as well.
Spike cradled Buffy in his arms. “What happened?” He asked.
Willow was crouching beside Tara. “I’m not sure,” she said, trying not to blow her cover.
A few seconds later, Buffy stirred and opened her eyes. Her eyes widened at Spike. “Put me down!” She yelled.
Spike set her down. “What happened?”
“Who are you?” Buffy asked.
“You don’t know me?” Spike asked.
Buffy shook her head. “No. Where am I? Who are all of you?”
“What do you remember?” Giles asked, as Tara woke up.
“Nothing,” Buffy said.
“Do you know who you are?” Giles asked.
“No,” Buffy whimpered.
“You’re names Buffy Summers.” Dawn said, coming toward her.
Tara stood up and moved away from Willow. “Who are you?”
Xander realized what was going on as he looked back and forth between Buffy and Tara. “Willow, you promised.”
“What?” Willow asked.
“You promised a week. You couldn’t even go a day. Now fix it,” he said.
Willow looked at everybody and pulled out the crystal. She dropped it on the ground and stepped on it.
Buffy and Tara both paused and they almost fell over.
Spike caught Buffy and helped her gain a steady footing. “Buffy?”
Buffy looked at Spike then at Willow. “Did you do this?”
Willow looked at Tara who was looking at her with tears in her eyes then she looked at the floor. “Yeah.”
“How could you?!” Buffy flared.
“’Cause I wanted you to be okay. I didn’t want you to remember being in heaven,” she said.
“Even after I told you not to,” Tara said.
Buffy went to the back of the shop and went to the training room.
Spike followed her. “Buffy? Are you okay?”
Buffy took off her coat. “You wanna train?” She asked.
Spike shrugged off his duster. “Why not?”
Buffy and Spike exchanged blows and Spike was kinda surprised that his chip didn’t go off but kept his mouth shut.
After a few hours, Willow came into the training room. “Buffy?”
“I’m not ready to talk to you yet,” Buffy said, taking Spike’s feet out from under him.
Spike groaned. “Okay, Pet. No more,” he said, sprawling out on his back.
“I’m sorry,” Willow said, softly.
Buffy raised her eyes to Willow. “You took my memories from me. I can’t stand to be around any of you and now Giles is leaving. Willow, I’ve lost so much and you have taken the only thing that made me happy. You took me away from my mother cuz you were selfish. You guys couldn’t live without me, you didn’t need me though. Spike took care of Dawn, and you had Tara, while Xander had Anya. I knew Giles would go back to England and try to live his life again. I was happy and you can’t except that,” Buffy said, tears in her eyes.
Spike was sitting next to Buffy’s feet and his hand was stroking her hip.
“Buffy, I’m sorry. I didn’t know you were happy. We loved you and wanted you back,” Willow said.
“I loved her too,” Spike said. “I would’ve never done this.” He stood up. “You purposely didn’t tell me, Dawn, or Rupert because you knew we would’ve stopped you.”
Willow scowled. “You would’ve been right there with us if we told you. You would’ve wanted to be the big here and save the day,” she said.
Spike growled and grabbed his duster before leaving.
“Spike!” Buffy called, going after him.
Spike disappeared downstairs.
“Giles, you have to do something about Willow. She wont listen to me and now she’s trying to blame it on Spike,” Buffy said.
Tara stood up. “I’ll talk to her,” she said, going to the training room.
Buffy looked at Dawn. “I’m gunna go talk to Spike. Are you gunna be okay?”
“Yeah. I’ll meet you at him,” Dawn said.
Buffy left the shop and went to Spike’s crypt. “Spike!” She called, opening the door.
She went to the lower and smiled at the hominess of it. She crawled on to his bed and curled into a ball. Soon she was sound asleep.
Spike entered the lower level of his crypt through the sewers. He had to smiled at the sleeping slayer on his bed. He shrugged off his coat and covered her with it.
Buffy snuggled deeper into it and sighed. “Spike,” she mumbled.
Spike laid behind her and propped his head up on his elbows. “Buffy?”
Buffy turned over and opened her eyes. “Why’d you leave?” She asked, snuggling up against him
“Couldn’t stay there. Still hurts sometimes,” he said, softly.
Buffy titled her head back so she could see him. “Spike, I know Willow was just trying to place blame on someone else. Don’t worry about it.” She leaned forward and kissed him softly.
Spike responded gently and his free hand went to her cheek. He pulled away after a few seconds. “I though you weren’t sure?”
“I’m not but you’re gunna make me sure,” she said, kissing him again. This time more passionately and deeply.
Spike rolled her onto her back, throwing his duster to the side. He deepened their kiss and crawled on top of her.
Buffy snaked her arms around Spike’s neck as he undid the buttons on her coat. She dropped her arms so she could get them out of the sleeves.
She brought her fingers up to his hair and tangled them in his blonde curls.
“Spike,” she whispered, breathlessly.
“Hm?” Spike asked, kissing her jaw.
“Can we just lay here and kiss cuz I’m not sure if I’m ready for us to make love,” she said, softly.
Spike smiled and pushed himself up on his arms. “Yeah, if that’s what you want,” he said.
“It’s what I want,” Buffy said, running her hands over his face.
Spike settled all of his weight on her and kissed her hungrily.
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