This is right after Tara is shot, Willow doesn't go all evil.
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I never noticed what everyone else seemed to notice. When I woke up everyone was dressed in black and ready to leave. I on the other hand didn’t see the point, no one was dead. I wanted to wear a sun dress, nothing fancy, but nothing in black. Buffy wouldn’t let me, she forced me into a black dress, that was ultra conservative, even for me. I tried to dab a bit of dark red lipstick on my lips, but she took the container from me with sad eyes, and handed me a light lip gloss instead.
When we reached the spot were the burial was to take place, everyone except me cried. I was the only one that didn’t understand what everyone was so upset about. The flower arrangements were beautiful, the coffin was a pearly white with silver edges and the grave was shaded by a large oak tree. The sun was shining bright, the birds were singing. Yet everyone was sad, upset, everyone but me and I didn't see a reason why.
As they lowered the coffin into the grave, I just stared. I didn’t move, I didn’t cry. I just stood there, with the sun beating down on my back, and the sobs of my friends surrounding me. When the funeral ended, the memoirs completed everyone came up to me and engulfed me in hugs, some offering kind words and others looked at me with pity in there eyes.
“Do you want me to take you home Will’s?”
Xander asked me, as he left a hand on my shoulder sympathetically, I lifted curious eyes to meet his, and just shook my head. He took me into one last hug, said his goodbye’s and left.
I stayed long after the workers had covered up the hole, I stared at the same spot the entire time not once understanding what all the commotion of the day was about. I walked up to the tomb stone and generally sat in front of it , atop the fresh wet dirt. I reached my hand out to trace the letters so intrically carved into the white marble.
Tara McLay
December, 25th 2003
She cast her spell on the world.
“Hey baby”
I heard as I felt small hands encircle my waist, I smiled and leaned my head against the soft shoulder, taking one of the hands silently into mine. I turned my head to look at my girl. My amazon princess.
“You ok”
“Yeah”
I whisper. Looking up at the stars that now covered Sunnydale. Wondering on how such a beautiful darkness could hold such ugly secrets.
“You need to head home, it’s not safe when it's dark”
Tara said again, kissing my neck. And I bask in the feeling of her lips on my skin.
“I know”
I whispered softly, holding her tighter to me before letting her get up. I followed suit standing next to her as she looked down upon her own tomb stone. I took her hand and squeezed. She turned to look at me, placing a cool hand on my cheek a single tear falling down her face.
“I need to go”
She said quietly, and I just continued to stare into space. Focusing on nothing but the cold droplets of rain that began to splatter around me and on me.
“I’ll see you later”
I turned and gave her a small kiss and a sweet smile and then she was gone. I walked away from the grave, I never shed a single tear. Why would I, My girl hasn’t left me. She would never leave me.
I never noticed that she was all in my mind.
But I’m better off living a lie.
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