Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters that are on the show, BVTS, although they sure are getting alot of use out of me:)
Athor's note: Okay...this is primarily an Oz fic. I wanted to write something that showed Oz's thoughts about certian issues in the group. This might turn out to be a series intitled "Oz Thoughts" but we'll cross that bridge when we come to it:) Anyway, I originally wanted this to be based durring the thrid season, but then I changed it so now it is based in the second. I know there is little time between the eppisodes "Innocence" and "Phazes" but thats where this takes place. I also know that Willow and Oz hadn't ever kissed or anything in between those eppy's because Willow complains about it to Cordy in "Phazes" but hey...a girl can live in her own world, can't she?:) So don't flame me on that little detail, I already know it:) But other then that, I would so love to here from you!!!! You don't understand that a writer thrives on constructive critisism, so I would really really appreciate it if you read this story that you would write me a little note about it. Send your e-mail to : Oraznatac3@aol.com. Also, check out my other stories!! Male Bonding, Into the Darkness, and The Return are my favorites (although "The Return" is in the process of being finished)
Oz stopped in front of Willow's house. He turned off the car and then turned in his seat to face her. She smiled shyly at him.
" I had a really great time tonight, Oz."
" Yeah, me too."
She looked down at her hands unsure of what to do next. There was always this moment on all of their dates. That awkward silence that came just before she got out of the car, where she wondered if he would kiss her or just leave her to her own unfulfilled passions.
And at that moment, as if hearing her thoughts, he leaned over and took her head and gentle pulled her in for a tender kiss on the lips. It didn't last long, but it left Willow with a tingling feeling all throughout her body.
She could feel herself blush as she went to open the door to the van and step out. He caught her hand just as she stepped out of the door. She looked up at him, an expression of slight confusion on her face.
He looked down at their intertwined hand, as if doubting himself.
"Willow...thanks."
Her face softened. She knew exactly what he meant. She squeezed his hand.
" I'll see you tomorrow, okay?"
He nodded and smiled, his sudden emotional moment passed. " Sure thing." he said letting go of her hand. She shut the door and waved through the window and then turned and walked up towards her front door.
He always waited until she was inside the house before he started the car and drove away. Ten minutes later he pulled up into his driveway, stopped the car and then got out. He started to walk towards his house, but thought better of it. He wasn't ready to go inside yet. Not that his parents cared much about what he did, but he wanted a little time to think about stuff before he went inside his house to what seemed like a totally different world from the one he was living in at this very moment.
He walked around his house to the back yard, where there was a hammock hung between two trees. He went over and laid down, letting the soft fabric enfold around him. He knew that it probably wasn't the smartest thing to be alone in the dark in Sunnydale, but at the moment he suddenly didn't care.
The fact of the matter was, a couple months ago he wouldn't have given -any- thought to whether is was safe to be outside after dark. Until he had met Willow and her friends, the dark had seemed like a safe haven to him. A place to escape the daily cares of this world.
He sighed, looking up through the branches of the trees into the crystal clear sky. He absently counted the stars until once again his thoughts started to return to Willow and her friends again.
He supposed he could stop calling them "her friends" now. Because, he had grown rather found of Xander and Buffy...and even Cordelia. It amazed him how much they cared about each other. The had such a strong support system wound around each other, including Giles. But then, with what they had to deal with and what they knew, they needed it. The only thing keeping them sane was the fact that they felt a duty....to each other.
And that was another thing. Duty. The only person in the whole group who had an actual responsibility was Buffy. Oz frowned as he thought about her and her so called duty.
It wore her down...especially lately, with the whole situation with Angel. He had never known Angel personally, except for a brief meeting at Buffy's 17th birthday party, the night that he had changed. But he supposed that he must have been a pretty good guy, for everyone to be mourning over him the way they were.
And that was the ironic thing. They -were- all mourning, at least in some small way. Buffy, of course, was taking it the hardest. She had lost a person she loved, and, from what he understood of the whole thing, it was partly her fault. And that was a whole lot of guilt to live with, he speculated. The next people who were probably taking it the hardest were Giles and Willow. They both were Buffy's family, so when she hurt, they hurt for her. But it went deeper then that. The intellectual sides of them had realized something about Angel. He was a powerful allie with his soul. And a terrifying enemy with out it. It was only a matter of time before he quit playing games and started to show the real Angelus.
The people who were feeling the least effect from Angel's sudden change, besides himself of course, were Xander and Cordy. Oz had hung around with the small group long enough now to know that Xander had never held a soft spot for Angel. Partly because of his feelings for Buffy, and partly because he just didn't trust vampires. So the only effect this whole thing was having on Xander was that, even though he hated Angel, Buffy had loved him, and she was in pain. And Xander was a good enough friend to put aside his own feelings for that of his friend. So on the whole subject of Angel, he kept his mouth shut, and just tried to be there for Buffy. Cordelia was probably the worst of them all. The only thing she understood about the whole thing was that with Angel gone bad, Buffy was less then a full slayer, and that meant, because of her association with Buffy, that she was in danger.
Oz chuckled at that thought. He couldn't totally blame Cordy. In her own self-centered way, she had stumbled on a good point. They were all in danger because of their friendship with Buffy. But they had been relatively safe because, with Buffy at full power, she was doing her duty and doing it well. Not that they couldn't hold their own, but with Buffy on the more depressed end of things lately, they were more and more having to rely on their own fighting experiences to get them safely home at night.
That thought brought Oz back to the present. He sat up, scanning his backyard for any uninvited visitors. All seem quiet, the crickets chirping softly in the night. He laid back down, more relaxed now.
Well, he thought, despite what everyone may feel about the whole situation, he felt that everyone was dealing with it fairly well. Their appearance to the average onlooker would be of a small group of friends, seemingly happy and fulfilled with their life. Even if on the inside they were all slowly dying.
And part of himself regretted that. He regretted that fact that he was so new to the group and that he couldn't feel the type of pain that you feel after you've been through so much with a certain group of people. Sure, he was learning. He himself had battled a few demons. And his tie to Willow definitely gave him an in with the small group. But there were sometimes when he still felt like an outsider. Like with the whole Angel thing. He understood the situation, but that was all he had. Understanding. No emotional attachment. And that fact made a part of him deeply sad.
He got up from the hammock easily and started walking towards the house. He put his hands in his pockets and looked at the ground, dragging his feet along the grass, spraying the dew that was already starting to accumulate.
He knew that his day would come. There would be an event in his life that would trigger his full transformation into the small group. And he couldn't help but be excited for that day. He liked this group, and he liked what they stood for. He wanted to fight the fight that they were fighting. And as a team, they were bound to win......
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