Disclaimer: everyone knows who owns the characters, right? So lets deal and move on:)
Authors note: Thought you all might like to know that this takes place after the 3rd season finale. Well....actually durring the 3rd seaon finale. I loved the ending between Buffy and Angel, but to calm my own raging writing...hormones, for lack of a better term, I wanted to come up with a differnt way that Buffy and Angel could have parted. So here is it. I'm not sure if its as angsty as everyone will probly expect so...feedback is totally welome!!!!! its actully kinda of required!! so write to me:) Oraznatac3@aol.com
Buffy smiled tiredly as Giles walk to go check on Wesley. She looked down, once again her thoughts returning to him. She couldn't help but feel a little resentment towards him. What gave him the right to just leave? She needed the closure that a small goodbye would give. That was the least he could do for her after breaking her heart.
Suddenly she felt a presence. She looked around, at the fire trucks, towards the blown up school, around at the injured people, and then she saw..... Angel.
He stood between two trucks, the light from the street lamps and the car lights illuminating him, making him look like a being strait from heaven.
Her heart caught in her throat. So he didn't leave!! She felt elated, but then, as she saw the sadness in eyes, the pain etched in his grimace, she knew that he wasn't coming back to stay. And he was keeping his promise. He wasn't going to say goodbye. He just wanted her to know that he was okay...and then he was gonna go.
Tears jumped into her eyes, and her lips parted. She wanted to say something, but all the words had left her. He probably wouldn't even hear her at this distance.....
He turned to go, walking into the thick mist that would soon engulf him, taking him out of her life forever.
She watched, unable to move. She wanted to scream at him, hit him, what ever it would take to get his attention. To make him understand that she couldn't live her life fully without him.
She started to panic as the mist became thinker about him, and his footsteps fading. And she made a decision then. She wouldn't let it end like this. She started running, all common sense having left her now. The rational part of her, the part telling her that she was crazy and that she should just let him go, was quiet now. The only thing speaking to her was her heart And it was yelling at her to catch him and never let him leave her again.
She caught up to him and grabbed his arm, turning him so that he was facing her. He looked at her, a mixture of confusion, pain, and anger in his eyes. She suddenly coward under his gaze, losing the never that had driven her to come and stop him from leaving her life.
He looked down, his intense brow eyes searching hers. " What are you doing?" he asked, his voice soft but firm.
She looked at him, her voice leaving her. The fact of the matter was, she didn't know what she was doing. All she knew was that she couldn't let him leave her.
" I.....I couldn't let you leave..."
He frowned, but his eyes showed understanding. " Buffy, we've been through this...."
" I know..." she interrupted him. She stepped back, finally letting go of his arm. " Its just....so unfair..."
He smiled at the simplicity of the sentence. Like a little child complaining to their parents about some injustice they felt. But the smiled quickly faded from his face. " Staying would be the unfair thing...."
" But why? I need you. I don't know how to live my life without you. Even without your soul, you were still here, and I had at least a small hope of you returning to me some day. If you leave me now, I have nothing..." she had probably said too much. But she need to convince him that she was nothing without him.
He stepped back from her, his jaw set in a tight line, his eyes fixed somewhere on the ground. " Buffy...don't talk to me about needing me. You've got your mom and Giles, a great support system consisting of the people who love you the most. You've finally got your life back on your feet. Your going to college next year and...." his voice caught, finally showing some emotion. " You don't need me. You want me..."
Buffy wondered if it could be that simple. But she knew that he was right. She was getting her life together, with the help of her friends and family. And they would get her through whatever happened with Angel. She knew that. He was right...she wanted him...wanted him in her life. But what was so wrong with wanting someone?
" And what wrong with that? What sin am I committing from loving you?"
" What's wrong is that we don't belong together. We're from different worlds Buffy. We are destined to kill each other..."
She couldn't believe that he was trying to use that as an excuse to leave this relationship. " Angel, I love you, and no matter what the demon inside you has done, that's not who you are. I've seen first hand what Angelus can do, and what Angel can do. They are two different beings in the same body. And your soul, the sweet soul that I've fallen in love with, has won. Why can't you accept that?"
Angel looked up at her, his eyes filled with an intense pain and self hatred. " Its not that easy, Buffy. The fact of the matter is, the demon is always there. Not matter what I do to contain him, he's there, waiting for a weak moment. And I couldn't live with myself if something happened to you."
She looked down at her hands, understanding perfectly what he was saying. She knew all the risks involved, and she respected him trying to protect her. She just hated him leaving. But now it was clear to here there was no way she could make him stay. So she at least wanted to say goodbye. She shrugged a little, and looked up at him. " I just couldn't....I didn't want it to end without some sort of goodbye. I know how you feel about it, but I just need a little closu-"
Angel had walked up, grabbed her around the waist, and kissed her fully on the lips. The kiss was tender, but full of passion. The both knew that it was the last kiss they would ever share. He broke the kiss and then looked down at her, his full brown eyes brimming with tears. " Buffy, always remember that I love you. And that I will always love you." he whispered to her.
She nodded, unable to make her voice work. He traced the line of her cheek with is finger, and then stepped away.
" I need to go." he said quietly.
Buffy nodded again, her voice still gone, and her vision fuzzy because of her tears.
He stared at her a long moment, looking her up and down, seemingly trying to remember every detail of her, and then he turned and started walking again. And this time, Buffy didn't follow.
She stood there until long after he had disappeared into the night, until his footsteps no longer echoed on the pavement. She finally came back to real life. She wiped her tears away and took in a ragged breath. She need to find her friends, see if everything was alright. And with that, she turned in the opposite direction, and also disappeared into the darkness.
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