Willows heals clicked slowly as she walked down the wooden planks to the end of the board walk. Letting her head fall back as she walked, she breathed in the salty waters smell, and let the cold wind play on her skin. She sat down slowly On the bench outlooking the never ending water. Gingerly setting the large black book she was carrying down besides her on the ground.
“You know, I thought you would be here”
Not getting a response she folded her arms across her chest, and stretched her legs out in a casual gesture. Taking in a deep breath she continued. Watching the waves rise and sink disturbing the dwindling light of the stars and moon.
“It will be daylight in about an hour or so”
Willow never let her eyes leave the ocean scene in front of her. She took another deep breath savoring the salty taste it seemed to leave on her tongue.
“You shouldn’t be here”
“Allot of people have been telling me that lately, How I shouldn’t be here or there, doing this or that. For once I think I’m right were I need to be, and at the right time”
“You should leave”
“Well how I see it, We got three options. You sit hear till daybreak, You walk back down that boardwalk, or you jump”
Willow’s voice was calm and undemanding. It held no accusations or desperation. Just a calm woman stating the facts to a old friend.
“I don’t have much of a choice then”
“No Angel, Not really, life's full of sucky choices we all have to make”
“I’d rather do this alone”
“Do what. Commit a form of Vampire suicide, That’s fine. I’m not here to stop you from doing what you feel you need to do. But I am going to support you by not leaving you”
“Everyone else has”
Willow closed her eyes, confidant that her friend wouldn’t leave.
“That makes two of us then”
Willow opened her eyes and peaked over to wear Angel was sitting. He was leaned forward, looking out into the dark horizon, hands perked into a triangle holding up his chin, as his arms rested on his knees. Willow sighed at the resigned look on her friends face.
“Im not wanted anymore in Sunnydale you know, They don’t trust me. Xander doesn’t trust me. My life long best friend, destined to be together one day, hates me now. Buffy hates me, Giles can’t look at me. I’v been abandoned. Looks like were both in the same boat”
“We’ll Never be in the same boat”
“You’re right, you still have friends waiting for you at the hotel. Cordelia, Charles, Wesley, Fred, Lorn”
“There not my friends, not anymore”
“Why? because you don’t want them to be, or because you think they don’t want to be?”
“Both”
“Well, I don’t have friends either way, No choice for wicked willow”
“You could never be wicked”
“Neither can you, Angelus can, He was born to be wicked. But not you Angel, You’ll never be evil to me”
“I should be”
“Why? because you locked up a few lawyers and lost it? We all lose it Angel, Even me”
Angel turned to look at her, a sober look on his features. Shaking his head slowly he turned back to the water, his eyes glossed over a bit.
“Guess Buffy never called. I dabbled in some dark powers. And I lost it, Flayed a man alive, and you know it felt rather good. I almost killed Dawn also, no second thoughts about it. I battle that everyday now. My blood screams at me to let it loose. It pounds on my veins and every inch of my body even in my sleep. And I want to sometimes, let it go, taste the bittersweet liquor it leaves in your mouth and the vibe it creates in your being. It’s hard, but I fight”
“I’v fought for so long”
“I know, I’ll never know what its like fighting a demon, but I know what it’s like to fight.”
“Not like me”
“No, But one day I will know what it’s like to have fought like you” Angel again cast his red headed friend a small questioning face before returning his concentration on the dimming darkness of the ocean. “Because of my dealings with the devil Angel, I’m Immortal. Each day, till the end of time Ill know what its like to live with the cravings of darkness”
“You must think Im weak”
“I could never think your weak, Just tired, Worn, But never weak”
“Then what am I?” His voice was brimmed with anger and self loathing.
“You are an angel, Angel”
“No, Im a Demon, A blood lusting, murdering demon”
“A demonic Angel then, But still a savior none the less”
“I’m no savior”
“No?” Willow picked the large black book she was carrying and opened it up to the first page. It had a small picture of a girl and a letter. “Then I wonder what all these people think you are then, or what they would have done without you”
Willow scooted over so her thigh was touching Angel’s, she nudged the book into his hands as he just stared at it.
“Me, Cordelia and the rest of the A.I. team were going to wait till your 250th Vampire Birthday for this. But I had a feeling you would need it now”
A small blood red tear hit the page Angel was looking down upon.
“These are.....”
“All the people you have ever helped from the start of Angel Investigations, Yeah. Took allot of work to find some of them”
Angel started to slowly flip through all the pages, each with a updated picture and a hand written letter. Telling him how they were doing, and a way of contact. And most importantly a thanks.
“Go ahead, Read that one to me”
“Bethany’s”
“Yep, The telekinesis girl, from what I heard, before you helped her Wolfram and Heart had some nasty plans”
Dear Angel,
Thank you so much for your help and support. Without you I don’t know where Lilah would have lead me, but It wouldn’t have been good. I hope you can forgive me for impaling you with a rod, And almost burning you to Vamp kibble and bits when I lost my temper. Also I hope you can forgive me for trying to get into bed with you, though you are rather gorgeous. Im doing good now, I have a nice apartment out in Portland Organ, Flew up here a few days after you saved me. I have a husband now, and I’m pregnant with my first child. If its a girl we plan On naming her Burgandy Angel Hakner, if it’s a Boy we plan on naming him Landen Angel Hakner. I hope this brightens your night, and yes the middle name is for you, after you. It’s been a year sense you have helped me, maybe more. But thank you , Thank you so much for giving me the gift of a second chance. A second chance at life. You truly are the most selfless person...er vampire I have ever met. If it means anything, anything at all. You saved one precious life. My Savior. My Angel.
Sincerely,
Bethany Hakner
P.S. If you ever need me give me a call, ok. 798-284-3615
Angel’s tears were splotching the pages now. Small sobs barley escaping his body. Willow leaned over and hugged him at a sideways angle. Angel handed her back the book and rested his face in his hands. His large frame moving with each sob. Willow closed the book and rested it next to her on the bench. Rubbing her hand up and down his back in a small circular motion.
“Im not hear to convince you that what you want to do is wrong. Or try to convince you to not do it. Ill support either decision of yours till the end of time”
“Why Willow?”
“Why what Angel? Why will I Support your decision, Why Im hear, Why I care? Your ganna have to be more specific”
“Why do you want to care for a monster”
“Because I love the man that monster has become” With that Willow placed the book into his lap. Standing Willow placed a light kiss on his forehead. “And because that man is my only true friend for eternity”
Before Willow could walk away Angel grabbed her arm. “Love is a strong word Willow” The tears streaked down his face as his haunted eyes boar into her emerald green.
“I know, I love you Angel, Demon and all. Always have, always will” she let a weakened smile grace her face.
Angels grip loosened on her and she leaned in one last time and placed a lingering kiss on his teary blood drenched lips. Straitening up she licked his blood off her lips, no disgust or repulsion crossed her features.
“Either as a Lover, A companion, or a Friend Angel, I will love you. all of you. Angelus included”
With that Willow started the long journey back down the boardwalk. With one last look at the man still sitting on the bench, she smiled sadly.
“You have about twenty five minutes till sunrise give or take some. Ill be in my car until then, You can come home with me, and back to your friends. Or you can stay, but I wont drive away until the sun has fully risen, or till your with me. You have my word on that. And remember, your loved by more then one. And there all in that book”
With that Willow started her walk down the board walk, her heals clicking softly. back to her car to wait. Wait for his decision. And she convinced herself she would support him in any decision he would make tonight, till the day she would be allowed to die.
The End.
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