Rupert Giles was driving at an alarming speed, his car protesting furiously as he went over bumps and around corners recklessly. Buffy's voice was fresh in his mind.
"Giles," she had whispered into the phone. "You have got to come and get me. I'm stuck in this creepy castle, there's this bizarre convention going on, and I'm going to start staking people if you don't get your butt up here."
He was wondering if he had taken a wrong turn a few miles back when he caught sight of a looming figure just ahead. His car drove past the rusting gate and made it to the doorstep before letting out a final gasp. Leaping from the driver's seat, Giles rushed to the door.
The door opened before he had a chance to knock, and a sickly blonde man glared at him. "Yesssss?"
"Ah." Giles was caught off guard. "I believe a friend of mine is here. Buffy Summers?"
The man gave no response.
"I understand you're having some sort of convention, but could I come in and look around for her?"
"You're all wet," he drawled.
"Well, yes, it's raining."
The man opened the door wider, and gestured for Giles to enter. Giles had the urge to run, but reminded himself that Buffy was inside.
"I'm Rupert Giles," he introduced himself as the man led him through the hallway.
"Riff-Raff."
"Excuse me?" he sputtered, before realizing that Riff-Raff was the man's name. "Oh, charmed."
Riff flung open a pair of doors, and a loud burst of music exploded into Giles's ears.
"Let's do the Time Warp again!" sang the roomful of conventioneers.
Giles scanned the room for Buffy, a bit surprised to find her bumping hips with a person of unidentifiable sex. He hurried across the large room to her, taking hold of her arm a bit abruptly. "Buffy! What are you doing?"
"The Time Warp!"
"Let's do the Time Warp again!" burst out the other dancers.
A sense of deja vu ran through Giles. He shook it off. "I've got rather bad news. My car died as I pulled up to the... Castle."
Buffy sighed. "Why doesn't that surprise me?"
"Why are you always picking on my car?" Giles whined before he could stop himself. "It's never done anything to you."
Before she could respond, the music came to a warbling end, and Giles began to massage his aching ears. "Maybe we can use their phone." He frowned at Buffy's guilty expression. "What?"
"I broke their phone. It's not my fault! I just don't know my own strength."
Giles had already forgotten what they were discussing. "Buffy, why are these people staring at us and clapping?"
"I don't know, maybe..." Her voice trailed off as she turned to look behind her.
Giles followed her gaze and couldn't suppress a gasp. The elevator they were standing in front of came to a grinding halt, and a tall, dark haired man stepped out. Giles tried to ignore the fact that he was wearing leather lingerie, and had more blue eyeshadow smeared on his eyelids than Charlie's Angels used in an entire season, but he could not ignore the fact that he burst into song.
Giles and Buffy followed the sweet transvestite as he hurried around the room, greeting his guests, all the while singing at the top of his lungs.
As soon as he paused, Giles began speaking while he had the chance. "I'm glad we caught you at home. Could we use your phone? We're both in a bit of a hurry."
"Right." Buffy chimed in.
"We'll just say where we are, then go back to the car. We don't want to be any worry," he finished.
"You got caught with a flat?" Giles could not believe the man was still singing. "How 'bout that? Well babies, don't you panic. By the light of the night, it'll all seem all right; I'll get you a satanic mechanic."
"He doesn't have to be satanic," he protested. "I'm sure a Catholic mechanic would do just as well."
Nonetheless, the man continued his song, insisting that the duo stay the night. With a final dramatic flair, he was back in the elevator and went on his way back upstairs. The servants of the house, Riff-Raff, Magenta, and Columbia began pulling Giles and Buffy's clothes off.
"Madam- Madam!" Columbia was ignoring Giles's protests and continued unfastening his pants. He glanced over at Buffy. "Buffy, I never pictured you as the type to wear a slip."
Buffy looked offended. "What? I'm feminine."
"Yes, I can see that. I mean... That's not what I meant."
"Sure. Nice briefs by the way. I pictured you as the boxer type."
"Funny that you mention that, because usually I don't wear any sort of undergarments at all. But tonight..." He trailed off, appalled at what was coming out of his mouth. Before Giles could dig himself into a bigger hole, they were ushered into the elevator. A thought suddenly occurred to him. "Buffy, how exactly did you get here?"
"Xander, Willow and I were looking for this party when..." Buffy's eyes grew wide. "I can't believe I forgot about them!"
"When did you see them last?"
The elevator had reached the designated floor, and Giles and Buffy were being propelled out. Buffy whispered to Giles, "Willow was with me until we started doing The Time Warp. She's probably in the crowd up there." She motioned up, and Giles realized that there were railings near the top of the large room, and the dancers were bunched up there. "But Xander didn't come in the house with us. He could be anywhere."
They turned their attention to their host, who was cloaked in a green hospital gown. He called his flunkies and they rushed to him, forcing his hands into rubber gloves. He started to make a speech, and to the relief of Giles, he was no longer singing. Instead of listening to the man's bizarre ramblings, he scanned the balcony for Willow.
Buffy jabbed him in the side as a *whirring* sound caught his attention. "Giles, I've got a very bad feeling about this."
"What's he doing?" A metal contraction with various tube like protrusions was hanging over a large tank. As the transvestite jiggled with each tube, a colored liquid poured out and into the tank, which was quickly becoming rainbow colored.
"Frank's creating a man," she whispered back.
"Frank? You mean *that's* name is Frank?"
"Haven't you been paying attention?"
Before he could respond, the light's began to flash. The obviously easy-to-impress crowd "ooohed" and "aaaahed." A single light shone on the tank, and a man rose out of it. It took Buffy and Giles a moment to recognize the confused figure as Xander.
"Frank's a fraud!" Buffy muttered, amazement in her voice.
"What a shock," Giles mumbled, irritated, right before, much to Giles's dismay, FNF began to sing again. "Must he keep doing this?" the Watcher groaned.
"I kind of like it." Buffy appeared far too interested in the "scientist" for Rupert's liking. "It makes him more interesting."
"Yes. The leather, tattoos and cape just doesn't do it."
Dr. Furter's song was interrupted by a loud, grinding noise. The conventioneers began looked around for the source of the sound, while Buffy and Giles wondered how to use the distraction to their advantage.
With a final *boom* a cold blast hit the nearly naked duo. Buffy gasped as she realized who it was that burst through the wall of ice.
"Angel!" she screamed, running toward the undead, disoriented man.
Rupert pinched himself. Hard. "Damn," he muttered. "This isn't a bizarre dream."
Meanwhile, Buffy had leapt into Angel's arms. "Thank God you're here... Why are you here?"
"I followed you. I didn't like the looks of this place, but before I could do anything someone knocked me over the head and threw me into the freezer."
Furious at the interuption, Frank broke the glass box on the wall, removing the emergency stake that rested inside. He stalked towards Angel, who didn't notice him coming until Frank was nearly on top of him (figuratively speaking, that is.) His first thrust was a little to the left, and instead of killing Angel outright, he simply wounded him.
Angel whirled around, dropping Buffy unceremoniously on her butt in the process. She howled in pain. As Angel lunged at Frank N Furter, the good doctor swung his stake again, this time catching Angel in the arm. Beginning to panic, Angel tried to escape the deadly transvestite.
Shrieking filled the air. The only person in the room that was *not* upset by the sight of the tall, muscular man in lingerie chasing the undead was Xander, who, although he could not remember who he was himself, much less who Angel was, felt almost relieved when Frank finally drove the stake home, causing him to explode in a cloud of dust.
* * *
Giles stared around his room bleakly. It was dark, with only a few candles giving off light, and it was dreadfully cold. He climbed onto the bed and curled under the covers to try and warm up. As the tingling in his feet, he began to run down the evening's events. After Dr. Frank 'N' Furter had shown off his "accomplishment" he had disappeared with Xander. Giles and Buffy were separated, and Giles had been locked into his room.
Dread began to overtake him.
* * *
Buffy was startled when her door creaked open. "Who is it?" She demanded. "Show yourself."
"Buffy, it's me." The stammer was unmistakably Giles. He hurried to her bed, sliding under her covers.
"Giles? What are you doing?"
"Confessing," he murmured, wrapping his arms around her. "I love you, Buffy. I can't deny the attraction any longer. Something in the atmosphere here has... Caused me to free my inhibitions."
Buffy smiled despite herself. Giles settled into her bed, sliding over her and resting his head on her chest. As he began to slide his hand up his leg, Buffy ran her fingers through his hair, gasping when his hair fell away, revealing a curly net of black hair. "What the-"
The man in her bed removed his glasses, causing her to recognize him as their host. *The lingerie should have been a dead give-away,* she thought ruefully. *That and the fact that he probably weighs forty pounds more than Giles.* "It's you!"
"Why yes it is, my darling." He kissed her neck. "But isn't it *nice*?"
"What have you done with Giles?" Frank N. Furter didn't respond. "Tell me or I'll snap this pretty little neck of yours."
"Nothing... Yet." He stopped what he was doing and grinned at her. "Why, do you think I should?"
"You tricked me," Buffy accused. "I never would have... I've never... Ever."
"Yes, I can see that. But it's not all bad, is it? It's really-" *Kiss.* "Quite-" *Kiss* "Nice, isn't it?"
"Oh, stop," she breathed. "I mean, help! I mean-" She was losing control of her wits. "I was saving myself."
"Well, you're not spent yet."
Buffy gasped as he moved lower. "You promise you won't tell Brad- er, Giles?"
"Cross my heart, and hope to die."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Giles?"
"Willow?" He sat up quickly, quite relieved to hear her voice.
"Thank God I got the right room." She ran to the bed, and quickly climbed under the covers with him. Giles jumped as the cold satin of the robe she was wearing touched his skin.
"Willow, what are you doing?" He gasped as she laid herself firmly over him.
"Giles, there are cameras in every room." Even in the dim light, he could see her blushing. "I had to pretend I was coming in here for sex. I fought some woman - at least, I think it was a woman - off in the hallway."
Before he could concentrate on his pride that women were fighting over him, Willow began to shake in his arms. He stroked her hair gently.
"There there" he soothed. "Don't -" a yelp escaped his lips as Willow's hair came out into his hand. He was almost afraid to see who he was really cradling in his arms. After a moment's hesitation, he glanced down into the wickedly grinning face of their host, Dr. Frank N' Furter.
"Surprise," Frank purred.
Giles tried to pull away, the man's surprising strength help him tight. "What are doing here? What did you do with Willow?" *And how the hell did I mistake this tall ghastly creature with that delicate little thing?*
"Nothing... Yet. But I intend to. I've always had a *thing* for redheads."
"And Buffy? Where is she?"
"Enough chit-chat." Frank seemed annoyed. "Let's get down to business."
* * *
Willow was aghast at what she was seeing on the television in her bedroom.
The esteemed Rupert Giles was in bed with that odd transvestite. They appeared to be arguing, but then, before her very eyes, Giles seemed to soften.
As much as she was surprised, and mildly repulsed, she found she could not change the channel....
* * *
"If you won't tell Buffy..." Giles was saying cautiously.
"Cross my heart, and hope to die."
* * *
MUAHAHAHAHA.... And the horror has not yet ended!!
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