The Grinch, several million miles north of Whoville on the side of Mt. Crumpet,
Who had just succeeded in stealing Christmas,
Whose humble abode was filled with several nog-addled members of the Grinch family, liked Y2K a lot.
But the Whos, who lived several million miles south of the Grinch,
Down between Mt. Crumpet and Mt. Jam, did not.
They sat and they sat and they worried and fretted,
Over how their who-PCs would work once the New Year had began.
They hated Y2K, the whole Millenium season,
Don't ask me why no one quite knows the reason.
It could be that their heads weren't screwed on just right.
It could be, perhaps, that their shoes were too tight.
It could be, and the most likely reason I think,
was that their little Who-brains were two sizes too small.
As they sat in their Who-houses, fingers nervously drumming,
"We must find a way to stop Y2K from coming!"
Then the Whos got an idea.
The Whos got a wonderful, AWFUL idea!
"We know!" They said, with a sly, Who-like smile,
"We'll steal Y2K, like the Grinch did not long ago!"
So they took some black thread...
And they made themselves a quick Millenium Bug hat and a coat.
And they put it on the Who-Mayor... a tall man named Fred.
Don't ask me why, it never was said.
Now all they needed was a giant grasshopper –
But as giant grasshoppers are scarce, there were none to be found.
But did that stop the Whos? Oh, no it did not!
For they called their town mascot, a little pig named Jack,
And they tied a set of wings on top of his back.
Then they hitched old Jack up to a ramshackle sleigh,
Fully approved by the Who-SPCA.
Then they started up... up the side of Mt. Crumpet,
They weren't very careful, but they didn't dump it.
And as they reached the Grinch's cave, not a sound was heard...
No animal, no bird.
When down the chimney went the little Who named Fred,
A rather loose fit, and he fell on his head.
When Fred came to, he looked 'round with disgust,
The Grinch-Kitchen was lit and shiny, not a speck of dust.
"Well, I'll fix that!" the Who-Mayor said,
And he pulled a sack from under that hat on the top of his head.
He took the Grinch-feast! He took the Grinch-pudding,
He took the Grinch Ham! Why, that Who even stole the last bottle of Grinch Nog.
He took all the presents! The scanners, the disks!
He took the new hard-drive, for storing more fics!
And he looked 'round the room, pleased with his work, then he turned to the PC... .
And pulled the plug out with a jerk!
Then he heard a small sound, like a dove's soft coo.
Little Willow-Lou Grinch, who was no more than twenty – minus two.
"Millenium Bug... why? Why are you taking our new PC? Why?"
Well that little old Fred was so sly and so slick,
He thought up a lie and he thought it up quick.
"Why my sweet little tot." The fake Millenium Bug lied,
"There's... a glitch on this PC that won't glitch on one side.
So I'm taking it home to my workshop, my dear. I'll fix it up there,
Then I'll bring it back here."
And the fib seemed to fool the teen, so he patted her head,
As she turned with a smile, and went back to bed.
With no further ado, and no further fuss,
He took the PC and up the chimney he shoved.
And just as he turned to take that last crumb,
The crumb that was too small for a fly,
He heard a loud cry.
This loud cry came from the same Willow-Lou Grinch, and the cry...
"Sic' 'em boys!"
And then there was noise! Lots of noise, noise, noise noise!
For out came six angry Grinches, and she called them by name.
"On Xander, on Anya, pull out his eye!
Come Giles, get moving Riley, across the room he will fly!
Now Buffy, now Oz, fight you good old fighters,
Get our PCs back then we'll torch Who-ville with lighters!"
And the Grinches, how they bit,
The Grinches, how they fought,
And soon the small fight was a fully-fledged brawl!
The Grinches threw that Who-mayor up against the wall!
And I don't quite know how... but on Mt. Crumpet they say,
That the Whos' tiny brains grew three sizes that day!
And suddenly they realized Y2K was a scam!
They brought back the hard-drives,
The disks and Grinch-Ham!
They brought everything back,
And as the Grinches agreed...
"Who needs friends when you've got enemies like these!"
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