Archivists Note: This story contains adult material, and refers to a subject of violence. It is regarded as inappropriate for children under age 14.
*** Warning *** This story has suicide and the use of alcohol in its contants. Also I can`t spell.
* Thought I saw a man...
he showed me what it was to cry
well you couldn`t be that man
that I adore.
You don`t seem to know
seem to care
what your heart is for.
Well I don`t know him anymore *
Buffy sat on her bathroom floor with a razor blade in her hand. She was thinking maybe I should end it all. All the pain and suffering that Angelus caused her. She was wearing the ring that Angel had given her on her seventeenth birthday. She had it pointing towards her to show everyone that she loved him when she died. She was wearing the cross that he had given her and also the leather jacket.
* I`m torn
I`m all out of faith
This is how I feel *
Two cuts. Strait up her arm. That`s all it would take. No more slaying, no more worrying about vampires, about Angel. Maybe if I take one more drink I`ll be able to take my life. Buffy knew one more drink probibly couldn`t make her do it. She had been saying just one more drink for the past hour. Or two, she couldn`t remember.
* There`s nothing where
he used to lie.
My inspiration has run dry.
There`s just so many things
that I can`t touch I`m torn
I`m all out of faith
This is how I feel
I`m cold and I am shamed
bound and broken on the floor.
Illusion never changed
into something real... *
That night. The night everything changed. I was supposed to wake up in my lovers arms but instead I woke up to a cold bed. Thought a now very drunk Buffy. In a sudden fit of rage against her undead lover she started hurling all of her empty bottles against the wall. She was reaching for one last drink when she passed out.
Willow was walking into the house when she heard the last bottle being hurled into the wall. She ran upstairs as fast as she could fearing the worst. While she didn`t find the worst she did find about five medium sized bottles of liquore, four of which were drained and shatterd. But when she saw the razor blade she almost couldn`t believe what she saw. Willow quickly dragged Buffy to her bed and cleaned up the mess.
She set up camp on Buffys floor for the night grateful that Buffys mom was out of town. Around one A.M. willow awoke to the sound of Buffy heaving in the bathroom. " She`s going to have one hell of a hangover. " Willow thought as she raced to help Buffy.
