Title: Into the Darkness
Author: Laura
Rating: PG
Pairing: None
Summary: Buffy is thinking about her life after she is resurrected for the second time. ONE SHOT!
Disclaimer: I do not own Buffy. She belongs to Joss Whedon.
Spoiler: Season Premiere of Season six of Buffy.
*ONE SHOT*
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Alone.
So alone.
The night is so cold.
So dark. So dreary.
I feel cold chills whenever I step foot in a graveyard. I receive blind signals from my surroundings letting me know of a presence that stalks me. I am the night. I am a inhuman death. I walk alone in the darkness without nobody by my side. The air reeks of demon and vampire as I head into the graveyard for another night of patrolling. This is what I do. I am a vampire slayer. I slay demons left and right. I used to think that it was such a stupid thing to do. Later on, my mind changed about that. I felt like I had a perfect place in this world. A world where so many of my friends know of my secret.
I had died once before but was revived by Alexander LaVelle Harris. One of my most bestest and trusted friends. I had only been the slayer for about a year and a half then. After that, I felt stronger and had felt a huge connection with the vampires and demons that I have faced since then. For four years after that, I had ran the show. I learned. I listened. I slayed. Whatever came forth, I killed because it was a threat whether it be minimal or hazardous.
I had died a second time which is where I am now. I was resurrected by Willow, Anya, Tara and Xander. They brought me back from the dead. From a happy place. From a beautiful place where I felt peace at last. I was in heaven. But I was torn out of there by my friends. My heart ached when I realized that I was in hell once again. This world. This continent. This state. This town. This graveyard. All around me there are dead whispers. I hear them running through my mind. Everywhere I go I feel like I'm being pulled back into death by an unfamiliar entity. My soul has not regained its composure. The emotions that I once had began to run throughout my entire being. They were everywhere at once and I did not know what I was feeling quite then. I feel happy, sad, angered and bewildered all at the same time and nobody can tell me why. The emptiness I feel in my heart is just the beginning.
Spike knows what I have been through. He had been through it himself. He became a vampire, sired by Drusilla an insane vampire. I confide within this soulless vampire because we are so much alike. We've been through death. We've killed. We've argued. I sometimes feel like he's the only one that could ever match up to my status as of this very moment. He has been so good to me and my friends. And to Dawn. He had taken care of her over the course of the summer that I have been gone. Almost four months exactly I had been dead. They used Spike's old Buffy sexbot to make everybody and everything think that I was alive. Isn't that amazing? My life replaced by a replica robotic me.
I walk more into the darkness of the graveyard feeling every heightened cry and every silent scream. I have been through so much over the years. Ghosts. Invisible people. Werewolves. Demons. Vampires. Goblins. Zombies. Mutant fish. Angelus. Dracula. It's all so much to take in. I sometimes sit and wonder if I am meant to stay in darkness. To freeze even when a fire burns. To see black when I look into it. My heartbeat is faint. I can tell. I have not done much by the way of physical activity so I don't really know if I'm healthy or not.
I feel a presence near me. It's a vampire. It comes charging and I slay it. Too easy. A power surge runs through my veins. Engery. I feel so much energy coarsing within my very being. This is too much. Too much to bear. I was hoping that when I died, I would be happy and stay happy. That I would see my mother again. It's hard to see my friends everyday knowing that I am no longer in heaven. But, who knows? Maybe one day I'll get back to normal. That I'll have all the more feelings controlled and be able to be happy. But all I'm able to do at the moment is sit and watch while my friends are cheerful and getting on with their lives and me still trying to find my place in the world.
Until then I keep walking through the graveyard. I keep walking. Walking. Into the darkness.
*Hope that was okay. Not really sure. Let me know what you all think.*
Kyatoz,
Laura
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