Prologue
Once upon a time, when I was a kid, and Buffy was just my older sister; things were so simple. I never wanted for anything and I was just a kid, just a normal little girl, slightly spoilt and brattish, but other than that, just normal and happy. I cooed over Leonardo DiCaprio and wrinkled my nose during kissing scenes and I never once worried about witches or demons or vampires...or falling in love with them.
Spike was a phase. A crush. Nothing more than that. Since my parents divorce, he was the only thing that made me stable and kept me strong and he was a good friend, he always would be, but he was too strong, to big and bad to ever have been able to carry on without breaking my heart, he told me that once, during my phase; he told me the reason he loved Buffy was because he'd never touch her, because he wouldn't hurt her; because she was strong. He told me he was scared to love someone like me because he'd hurt me. Because the only thing he wanted more than my sisters love; was her happiness...and apparently; I was Buffy's happiness.
She's dead now. The great slayer. The great love of his life and he never got his wish, not really. She loved him, of course she did, it was plain to see, but she was never happy, not since Glory, not since before that...not since Angel.
Angel was her escape; her solace. Angel was everything to her, I saw it in the way she always used to talk about him, the way her eyes went all dead and sad when hung up the phone on him. Sure, she loved Spike. She thought she loved Spike because he was so different from Angel, but now...I'm not so sure about that, I think that the way they both gave up everything to have her, to love her; shows that they were both so similar through the differences.
So here I am. Nearly twenty and finally out of the shadows. I'm going back to them. My friends. Her friends. I'm going to see them all again for the first time since I ran away. I'm not little Dawny anymore. I've grown up. I've had to, fending for myself, forgetting my past, locking away all feelings inside of me, and all I can do now, is hope they want me back. Hope they welcome me with open arms and pull me back into the scoobies; because without them...without her friends, what am I? The key? Or just some kid wandering the streets at night, a murderer maybe? I know I've done bad things - I can see it. I can always see them, gnawing away at my skull, the people I've killed, the blood I've taken. No one will suspect that I little Dawny the slayers sister would be stupid enough to fall in love with a bad guy. The same bad guy who killed my sister.
But then, I don't suspect that they'll expect me to have gone all vampy either.
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Rave
Barbie Girl (Becca)
biscuit07
Filmtheory (Jim)
Malice (Jess)
MebbtheScribe (MichaelB)
Reset (Allie)
Shay (Marrisa)
somnambulist29 (Shea)
Stephanie Loss
Wendyness (Wendy)
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