Return Of the Slayer
Back at Buffy’s, around 10:30. She finds “Shamus” and Joyce talking. “Shamus” lay’s the accent on heavy:
Yoda: ah well, ‘lo there Buffy, nice to see ya joined the land of the living
Buffy: Hi...Shamus.. too late for a real breakfast...
Joyce: Not if you get it yourself...
Buffy: Instant breakfast it is then....
She gets out some cereal and milk and puts two and two together. She also gets a glass of milk and starts to drink it
Joyce (finishing a cup of coffee): Shamus was telling me about the trip, I think it’s a great idea..
(Buffy half spits, half chokes on her milk)
Buffy: Your ok with me going that far away?
Joyce: Yeah, I’d be a great vacation, Ireland sounds wonderful this time of year.
Buffy: Ireland? Oh right.. where Shamus is from... yeah...Ireland
Joyce: I wonder where your passport’s got too... I think it’s in one of my draws...
Buffy: Your milking this whole leprechaun thing as much as you can aren’t you?
Yoda: who said I was milking it yes? said I was not a leprechaun I did not!
Buffy: Na, if you were a leprechaun, you’d be in Vegas with your pot of gold right now...
Yoda (laughs): hm hm hm! know me to well you do yes?
Buffy: Yeah, kinda disturbing really.... So when do we go kick some demon ass?
Yoda: Soooon. One other thing I must attend too. And one other thing you must attend to.
Buffy: Ok what mystical insight do I need to achieve today?
Yoda: Sword you know well yes?
Buffy: Slay’n with ‘em for years, yeah I’m good with them.
Yoda (handing her his small lightsabre): Much different is a Jedi’s weapon. Train with droid as we did yesterday. Understand its strengths and weaknesses you must, if you are going to use it in battle...
Buffy: You mean your not going to go in with me?
Yoda: A warrior I am not. Purged is the hatred from me. Even Jedi of the light need darkness inside them. Anger can be a powerful ally, if one is not consumed by it.
Joyce: Found it... haven’t been anywhere for a while. You know, you and your dad should go somewhere, not as if he doesn’t have the money for it....
Buffy < Bitter much > : Ah well, Ireland’s not Jamaica but it’s free so that’s not so bad. I gotta go train, I’ll cya later mom,
Joyce: Bye honey...(she notices one of the lightsabres in the pocket of her jeans as she walks out the door) Is that a cell phone she’s got?
Shamus/Yoda: ah well, ya never know with kids these deys, could be anything...
* * *
Buffy fights in the woods with the droid and the lightsabre in one hand and a short sword in the other for balance. Xander’s watching from behind a tree as Buffy deflects shot after shot, aiming some deflections at specific targets....
Xander: *cough* ummm... Buffy?...
She turns in his direction and deflects a bolt so that it barely misses his head:
Buffy: Xander! god! sorry...
Xander: It’s ok... I’m not dead... Hey ummm.. I was thinking...’bout the whole you going to another galaxy and stuff...and thinking.. maybe it.. kinda...
Buffy: Xander you weren’t this nervous when you asked me out! Spill
it:
Xander: ok...I wanna go too.....
Buffy: OOOOOK. I don’t think that’ll be happening anytime soon. (she goes back to fighting against the droid, turning her back on Xander)
Xander: Buffy, this would be like a dream come true! This would be THE road trip of a life time.
Buffy: No way in hell Xander... (she fights more fiercely) There are still a few hundred thousand badguys out there, not to mention the bucket’s there flying in...
Xander: And you think that’s any worse than anything we’ve faced here why?
She stops fighting the droid and extinguishes the lightsabre:
Buffy: Look Xander, I want you here. You need to be here. I mean, I need you to watch over everyone while I’m gone. And what about Cordelia? I mean, have you asked her about what she thinks?
Xander: It was her idea..... She’s moving to LA...
Buffy: Oh... sorry....
Xander: Na, it’s cool. We’re going to do some kind of a long distance thing.
Buffy: It could be very long distance. I mean, what if we get stuck there?
Xander: .....She wants to go too. She wants me and her to be alone. Far from Sunnydale. Guess in a galaxy far, far away is far enough....
Buffy (pausing for a while):...ok... I’ll talk to the little guy after we get the good guy’s here...
Yoda (surprising them): Why must you continue to judge me by my size?! annoying it is hmmm?!
Buffy: Sorry...Old habits die hard. Are we off to see the wizard?
Yoda: No. Here I will remain. Meditate. Guide you I will. Need this you will. (hands her a disk) idiots guide to hyperspace communication it is yes! helped me it has... help you it will too...
Buffy: If it wasn’t for the fact that I have no idea how hyperspace communication works I’d be insulted. Thanks (kisses Yoda on the head before walking off)
Yoda (speaking to Xander): ohooo... get some action I might yes?
Xander: Like hell that’s going to happen anytime soon big guy. She’s got eye’s for only one Vampire....
Yoda: Hmmmm... strong the force is with the dark one...
Xander: Who? Angel?
Yoda nods his head:
Yoda: Strong is the force with him. The darkness balanced by the way of the slayer’s heart. Stronger though is the dark side with his likeness.....
* * *
Buffy unbolts a warehouse door. Her white trenchcoat conceal the short sword and the Lightsabre. The windows are very vamp-unfriendly. White light shines from the sun onto a black-glass dome in the middle of the room. The only hint of the building’s purpose is a satellite dish on the roof. She sees only one door, which opens with speed as she presses the control panel. She looks into the darkness and sees a stair well. She draw’s the short sword as she descends down the well. Darkness gives way to a blue hew of viewscreens and false-florescent lights. She hears voices, technical jargon. She hesitates as she senses something. Then the sound of a blow dart pierces the silence....
Dark Voice: We’ve been expecting you, young Summers....
(Fade to Black)
Buffy wakes in chains *kinky eh?*. She first realizes that her weapons are gone, then sees a dark hooded figure sitting in a chair in front of her, in a circular room. The large black-glass dome serves as a ceiling. He then speaks with Angel’s voice:
Hooded Figure: Looking for these? (indicating towards the sword&sabre)
Buffy(confused): What....Angel?
Hooded Figure(Standing up to move around Buffy: Angel is weak. He never knew how powerful he could be. Funny thing about The Master, he demanded a vile of blood from each of his servants as a token of there loyalty. There was a man that he aquatinted with, who he saw as equal. (The hooded figure lights a cigarette and smokes it as he moves
around Buffy taking his hood off, but still facing away from her) He had been banished from his home a time before, some say he knew the master when he was human. He himself was human. He wed, and trained his child in the way’s of the Dark Side. His child, in turn, married and trained his child. This continued for a thousand years. Until the last child of the Dark Side to be born on earth decided that he was to be the one to restore the order of the Sith to the place where his ancestor came.
Before he left, as a gift to his host and friend for so many years, he cloned his recently ensouled protegee, trained this clone in the way’s of the Dark Side of the Force.
The Master was foolish though, he thought of me as a minion. So I left him to fail in his attempt to open the hellmouth.
Buffy: Well if your a clone, guess that mean’s if can whip the ass of the original, you should be no problem.
Hooded Sith: I wouldn’t consider myself a clone. Sounds too inferior. And in no way am I inferior to my original
Buffy(under her breath): bet he’s a better kisser than you....
Hooded Sith: Angel was a very unique Vampire. He was found on the doorstep of an orphanage in Dublin, fortunate enough to be adopted by a wealthy family. He has no idea....No concept of the power he is capable of having.
(The hooded Sith Lord takes off his hood and slowly turns to face Buffy. His face is half covered in the tattoo’s of the Sith
Hooded Sith: He was to be one of the chosen. But looks like I got the lucky break. And by drinking the blood of the chosen of the light, I will be stopped by neither Slayer, nor Jedi.
The black glass dome underneath which he was standing shatters as Faith fall’s through. As the Vampiric Sith lord turns to face her, he begins to burn in the light radiating from the hole where the black glass once was. As he stands there stunned, Faith taps her foot on the ground twice, and moves to side kick the dark lord. With that, a stake launched by a device attached to her calf pierces his heart and as he turns to dust, he crackles with black-lightning.
Faith: Whoa. That was a little weird.
Buffy(picking her jaw of the ground): Faith?
Faith. All in one piece... The little guy's explained the deal to the other’s, but you and I gotta talk...
Buffy: Talk later... I’ve got a long distance call to make
Faith exits the throne room first with the short sword in hand. Like many pieces of imperial architecture, the superior is raised above the plebes to remind them of the fact that there’s nothing. From there, Faith makes and announcement:
Faith: OK.. either you guy’s help us, leave, or become a dust problem
All the vamps game-face and stand up. Then Buffy walks out and ignites the lightsabre. One vamp promptly hit’s an evacuation alarm and they all exit hastily down a sewer:
Faith: talking tough works good...
Buffy: Well, you gotta be forceful with these guy’s, they don’t listen to please.
* * *
From above the atmosphere, we see a modified Correlian Freighter fly into view. As it fly’s past, the ship’s name is clearly visible: It’s the Falcon
From there we see a familiar Wookie polishing the captains-rank insignia on his bandoleer. He’s walking with Oz and he appears to understand what he’s saying:
As they talk, a young robed man with an English accents and long hair sits between Buffy and Willow on board the ship
Young Jedi: While I would not rule out that you may have seen an apparition of Master Yoda, the fact remains that he died some time ago.
Willow: But he said that is was all a trick..
Young Jedi: The computer log shows that the only crew on the ship between Coroscant and the worm-hole was the droid. He’s more trouble than he’s worth but Master Skywalker insists that he not be reprogrammed under any circumstance.
Buffy: And how did he bypass the security to get the lazersabre do-hicky?
Young Jedi: This droid has broken into more installations and systems than any one person knows. He was used in the systems testing, guess he neglected to tell us a few things...
(R2 beeps/chuckles)
Willow: But, why? I mean, why would he bother doing all that to come here?
Young Jedi: Some things cannot be explained easily. Perhaps he needed another adventure, he’s been collecting dust at the temple for what, two weeks now R2?
(R2 sounds annoyed)
Despite the circumstances, the fact all this has lead us to you is fate in it’s purest form.
Buffy: Fate bad. Whenever anyone talks about fate, I normally end up dead.
Young Jedi: Never the less, the force is strong with you. If you still wish to come with us, you would be most welcome.
Buffy: As long as we get to take a few tag along’s, I’m there...
Young Jedi: Tag along’s?
(Xander and Cordy appear with Xander wearing a hiking pack and carrying two suitcases, with Cordy carrying another two)
Buffy: I thought you guy’s were only taking two suitcases of stuff
Cordy: We are. These are empty. I’m guessing there’s going to be good shopping somewhere in the galaxy....
Xander (To Oz): Great, I’m going on the coolest trip of a life time and what am I going to be doing? SHOPING! Am I whipped?
Oz: Not in a bad way...
Young Jedi: As long as the captain approves..
Chewy (sitting on a chair with a mouthful of burger): GLLLLLLRRR (approvingly)
Young Jedi: Then your friends are welcome to come, provided they don’t interfere with your training...
Buffy: Course not.
Giles (looking up from the display he’s reading): Now where have I heard that one before?
(Faith enters, wearing white)
Faith: Your mom bought the bus-ride-to-LA story, looks like you guy’s are in the clear.
Buffy: Thanks. You sure your up to active duty? I could stay a round till your back on your feet.
Faith: I’m standing on them right now B, I’ll be fine. You just get your ass to the stars and I’ll take care of things back here.
Buffy: Thanks. I couldn’t do this without you, but that’s a big well duh...
Faith: Hey, I gotta make up for the whole trying to kill you guy’s several times thing somehow. Guess this is a start.
Ship computer: PRE-FLIGHT CHECKS GREEN. SHIP PREPARED TO DISEMBARK
Faith: Looks like your outta here. Take care Buff.
Buffy: You too...
(she walks out of the main door as Willow walks up to Buffy)
Willow: Ha, I um...(Buffy hugs her) thanks. Your going to be back before Collage starts right?
Buffy: No, I’m going to find a new bestest friend and go to Star Wars U. I’ll be home a week before it starts. Promise.
Xander: Don’t worry Will, she’s got me watching her back. No. Wait. It’s the other way around isn’t it
Willow (Hugging Xander): You take care too. (she whispers 'look after him' to Cordy)
Cordy: He’s safe with me Willow
Xander: Who is?
Willow: Uh... The good luck bunny.. that I gave Cordelia
Cordy: Yeah. It’s Magic.
Willow: To ward off bad things....yeah. Ok, I leave now... (she hugs Cordy then leaves)
Oz: I’m not big on good-bye speeches so.. bye...
Buffy: Bye Oz, take care of Will
Oz: Yeah, I will won’t I (He shakes Xander's hand)
Cordy: We should talk more.
Oz: yeah we should shouldn’t we...(they shake hands and he moves towards the exit)
Giles: Well, I’d just like to say that your all bloody insane, but then again that’s what they said about me when I volunteered to come here.
Cordy: Yeah, We’ll miss you too Giles!
Xander: He’s British. He’s allowed to be offensive
Buffy: Giles, I’ve changed my mind! I Won’t be able to stand another 3 days couped up with the odd couple!
Giles: I’ll miss you too....(They hug and Giles walks out the door)
Cordy: Do you think they’ll be ok?
Buffy: They can take care of themselves.
Cordy: I mean with that psycho hose beast!
Buffy: People change. She has. I trust her.
Xander: Umm for the record, I don’t. not entirely anyway. But that could be a side effect of the whole fact that she tried to kill me!
Buffy(as the ship takes off): She’ll be Ok. They all will be.....
* * *
The ghosts of old Anakin Skywalker and Yoda watch from the ridge as the ships take off:
Anakin: Was it wise to do this. She is much stronger than I ever was or my children for that matter
Yoda: Wisedom no longer matters. It is done.
Anakin: And if she turns she will be more dangerous than I or Palpatine ever were.
Yoda: She will not turn. She has seen the dark side. Never again will she want to see it.
Anakin: Palpatine told me there were more. None of them considered the possibility of the Sith fleeing here.
Yoda: This knowledge she will bring with her. Wrong were we to believe that the Sith could be exterminated. As resilient to extinction as the Jedi they are. Unfortunate.
Anakin: That does not mean they cannot be controlled. They can be prevented from causing further damage to the balance of the force.
Yoda: Too late it may already be. The damage may already have been done.
Anakin: Then is she the one.
Yoda: She is the one.
The End
* * *
Comments?
Ok, this was kinda cheesy, but I NEVER INTENDED THIS TO HAPPEN!!!!
Should this be continued? It’s kinda the first fic I’ve done start to finish so give me some constructive criticism...PLEASE!
The Slain Knight
rhb@wave.co.nz
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