As Alice checked her hair in the mirror, one of the many photographs she had tucked in around the frame caught her eye. Between a snap of her field hockey team and a study of sunset over Lake Como was one of her, Giles and Wilf in the park. She was laughing out at the camera, arms wrapped around her beloved dog. Giles was stood behind them gazing steadily at the lense, a ghost of a smile on his lips. Alice now answered that smile with one of her own, then went back to her reflection wondering if she needed a little more lip gloss.
‘Look at you,’ sighed Buffy as she appeared behind her.
‘You’re not going to start again are you?’ asked Alice.
‘Meaning?’
‘Oh my baby’s graduating, time has gone so quickly,’ teased Alice in a voice of comically exaggerated lamentation.
Buffy laughed.
‘Hey, your mom’s proud of you deal with it,’ responded Buffy as she fondly stroked a few stray hairs from Alice’s face.
‘Pride I can handle as long as you promise not to cry or anything during the ceremony.’
‘I’ll behave myself, wouldn’t want to show you up in front of your friends - especially Sam.’
Alice blushed.
‘Oh kiddo, you’ve got it bad.’
It was true, Sam Farrelly the lanky, floppy haired stalwart of the drama club was gorgeous and in the past few months Alice had managed to manoeuvre from being one of many admirers to a friend. She was now working on the final phase hoping that the heightened emotion of Graduation Day would ensure that it ended with her in Sam’s arms.
‘How you doing?’
Alice sighed.
‘Weird. I’m glad school is over, I’m sad school is over. How was your Graduation Day?’
‘Different. Trust me you don’t want to know.’
And I won‘t, thought Alice. Mom never talked about high school or college, she wondered if it was because Giles had been there.
Buffy left Alice to finish getting ready, but she was pretty much done. On impulse she decided to wear her ring; pausing for a moment and twisting it around, watching the light dimly reflect off the onyx.
Even though it had been years since Giles and her mom had gotten divorced and they‘d moved to New York, Alice still missed him being around sometimes. It was cool that her mom met and eventually married Jeff, she’d been thirteen then and the extrovert account manager with his constant joking and deep passion for the Rangers was more like a good friend. The only man Alice ever thought of as her dad was Giles.
Giles had stayed in close contact with her, expressing himself in emails and letters at far greater length and with more emotion than she remembered him using when he spoke. In many ways Alice felt that she only got to know him once they were apart and she grew up enough to be challenged and inspired by the ideas he set down. As far as she was aware Giles had remained unattached, he’d certainly gone to Uncle Xander’s wedding alone.
Two years on it remained a much cherished memory. For a few brief minutes she’d watched as her mom, Giles, Uncle Xander and Aunt Willow had sat round a table together perfectly at ease in each others company, laughing and teasing. Pretending to dance with one of Uncle Xander’s slimy cousins, Alice had sneaked closer to eavesdrop, not understanding a word. Why did her mom keep doing that stabbing action and in the quiet gap between songs had Aunt Willow really said ‘vampires’ only to go red and be urgently hushed by the others?
That had been the last time Alice had seen Giles. Six weeks later the police found his body having broken into the house after being called out by neighbours disturbed by Wilf’s incessant barking. None of them had known he was sick.
Alice hadn’t grieved much at first, she’d been more worried about her mom. Buffy had gone to pieces, saying over and over that no one would ever understand what Giles had done for her and the sacrifices he‘d made. Jeff had shown extraordinary patience as he’d supported his wife through her profound grief for another man whom she obviously loved dearly.
The other person who seemed to be in as much of a mess as her mom was a cadaverous looking guy Giles’ age called Ethan who had turned up on their doorstep to ‘pay my respects to Ripper with the Slayer’ - whatever that meant. They’d shut themselves away in the den, emerging grim-faced a couple of hours later. Then Ethan walked out not troubling himself to say goodbye and not been seen since. Her mom refused to answer any of Alice’s questions about who he was.
One of Giles’ former colleagues at the museum had sent a few clippings from the broadsheet newspapers - Giles’ work having gained him enough academic prominence to merit published obituaries. They had been dry and brief, barely more than a list of papers he’d authored, giving no hint of the personality behind them. Alice kept the one with the small picture which she cut out and taped to her mirror. It showed Giles, arrestingly younger than when she had known him, on an archaeological dig that was obviously going well because he looked slightly jazzed as he knelt in the dirt gesturing towards a half uncovered artefact.
Months later Alice received a letter from a London law firm containing the ring. She had never once seen Giles without it, that it was now in an envelope brought home to her the fact that he really was gone. The dam of repression she’d built up over his death burst irretrievably and she had cried a river before stowing it away in a drawer vowing never to touch it again. Recently Alice had changed her mind and took to wearing the ring from time to time, though worried that it would upset her mom who had looked shocked when she first saw it on her daughter’s hand but not said a word.
Deciding that she would wear the ring now, Alice threaded it on a silver chain, before fixing it around her neck and tucking it under her collar. It didn’t matter that no one would see, today was special and she wanted to feel that Giles was with her.
‘C’mon. Let’s do this.’ Buffy yelled up the stairs.
Alice gave her appearance a final appraisal, then reached out and touched the photo of Giles, she gently ran her thumb over the once familiar face before going to leave.
‘Coming,’ she shouted back.
Grabbing her jacket and running down the stairs towards her mom, Alice started to grin. No more sadness: it was going to be a stellar day.
The End
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