Disclaimer: Xander Harris and all things slayer belong to the Mighty Joss and Mutant Enemy. Anything else belongs to me.
EXT. FONTAINE HOUSE - NIGHT
LUCY(VO)
You told me that this was just a
practice run!
XANDER(VO)
Look, I have no control over what
happens out in the field.
INT. FONTAINE HOUSE - KITCHEN
It's a cozy little home. Lucy is angrily washing the dishes while Xander stands there and takes it.
LUCY
You told me she was going to be
safe with you
XANDER
She was safe. She was in no danger.
Lucy glares at him
XANDER
Okay, she was in some danger. But I
wouldn't have let anything happen
to her.
LUCY
And how is that supposed to happen
when you were getting choked to death?
Xander takes a deep breath.
XANDER
Okay... Maybe taking her out on patrol on her first night wasn't the smartest thing to do.
LUCY
(dripping sarcasm)
Really?
XANDER
Tomorrow we'll...
LUCY
I don't think you understand what
I'm saying Mr. Harris, Do you
really expect me to let you do this
to my daughter? She's scared to
death, her school uniform is ruined
and I'm seriously questioning my
sanity.
LIV(OS)
Mom...
Liv enters the kitchen in her pajamas, all cleaned up.
LIV
I'm okay. This is something I have
to... get used to.
LUCY
Sweetie, we're not talking about
you walking to school on your own.
We're talking about you fighting
the forces of evil. And dying.
Young. Leaving me to grow old alone
with no one to take care of me.
LIV
Mom, you know this is important. I
can't just ignore who I am.
XANDER
Look, how about this... Until you
and I both agree she's ready, no
mortal peril. She'll train with me
only. Indoors. No vamps. No demons.
No patrols.
LUCY
Until we both agree?
XANDER
Until we both agree.
LUCY
(shaking her head)
I need to get my head examined.
Liv walks over and gives her Mom a hug.
LIV
It's okay Mom. I'll be all right.
LUCY
You better be.
LIV
And I promise I'll clean up all the
demon entrails that get on my clothes.
LUCY
Tough talk from someone who wears
"Dry Clean Only".
XANDER
We may want to find something a
little more washable than her
school uniform and a little more
durable.
LUCY
Ooo.. Guess what honey? We get to
go shopping at the army surplus store!
LIV
Always fun to hang out with the
local militia! Can we get those
MRE's where you just add water and 2
minutes later it's pot roast with little
baby potatos?
Xander smiles and picks up his coat.
XANDER
All right then. Liv, I'll come by
tomorrow after school to pick you up.
LUCY
Hey! Sparky!
Xander turns and looks at the Mother-Daughter team.
LUCY
(threatening)
Anything happens to my daughter...
and I'll make sure you'll never
walk right again.
XANDER
(flustered)
Right. See you tomorrow. I'll
just... I'll just show myself out.
Liv and Lucy watch him go.
LIV
Mom, you shouldn't be so hard on
him. He's just doing his job.
Lucy hugs Liv even tighter.
LUCY
Protecting you is my job, kiddo.
Not his.
EXT. SAINT BUFALARI'S SCHOOL FOR GIFTED YOUTHS
Establishing shot of the school. Kids are either talking or
rushing off to class.
INT. SAINT BUFALARI'S - HALLWAY
Liv is gearing up for the day and packing tons of books from
her locker, which is decorated with pictures of famous
physicists (Einstein, Newton, Hawking).
MAYA(OS)
Hey Worm!
Liv smiles and turns toward her best friend MAYA, your
typical popular high school beauty queen with a surprisingly
open-minded attitude.
LIV
(jovially)
Hey Airhead!
MAYA
What happened to you the other day
in Calculus? You totally wigged out.
LIV
Maya, I always wig in calculus.
MAYA
True, but you usually wait to
breakdown into a puddle of goo when
she asks you a question, not during
roll call.
Maya opens her locker and starts packing her backpack.
LIV
I just had a lot on my mind that day.
MAYA
Uh-huh. Are you okay? You seem a
little more wound up than usual.
LIV
I don't know what you're talking about.
MAYA
Liv, we've been best friends since
the third grade. I know your moods
better than you know the periodic
table.
LIV
I've just... I don't want to talk
about it.
Maya knows Liv well enough to know when to push it and when
not to.
MAYA
Okay, but don't get too wound up
over whatever it is you don't want
to talk about. We don't need
another explosion in the chem lab.
LIV
That was an accident.
MAYA
It was an accident that shut down
the schools for three days. Not
that I'm complaining mind you. But
if you're going to blow anything up,
just wait until next week.
LIV
Why next week?
MAYA
English midterm.
Liv smiles and looks down the hallway to see
INT. SAINT BUFALARI'S - SCHOOL ENTRANCE
BRAD VALENTINE, the high school's resident stud and star
athlete walks down the hallway with his entourage of friends.
LIV watches him approach with a misty expression.
BRAD
(passing by)
Hey there Maya! Nice outfit.
MAYA
(rolling her eyes in disgust)
Brad.
Brad and his group walk on by.
LIV
(waving)
Hi Brad!
Brad and his group don't even notice.
MAYA
Forget it, Liv. He's a slug.
LIV
(dreamy)
Yeah, but he's a great looking slug.
Maya closes her locker and the two head off to class.
MAYA
Whatever. Hey you want to get
together after school and help me
understand Shakespeare?
LIV
I can't. Mom and I are going
shopping for new clothes today.
Maya looks at her like she just grew a second head.
LIV
What?
MAYA
It's just that I don't think I've
ever seen you in anything that
wasn't a school uniform.
LIV
That's not true.
Maya gives her a knowing glance.
LIV
Okay, it's mostly true but... well...
MAYA
Can't talk about it?
LIV
No.
MAYA
(sighs)
Okay... Looks like I better start
wearing a flak jacket for chem.
Liv playfully hits Maya in the arm. Maya laughs and they
rush off to class
EXT. XANDER'S FIREHOUSE
It's an old firehouse (4-story) currently being restored.
Construction equipment surrounds it.
XANDER(VO)
Now when you guys told me that you
were going to the army surplus store...
INT. XANDER'S FIREHOUSE - MAIN ROOM
The entrance to the firehouse garage has been converted to a
living space complete with office area, living area, kitchen
and the required "fire pole".
LUCY and LIV stand in front of Xander. Liv is now decked out
like she's about to go on patrol in Iraq. She's wearing a
helmet, fatigues body armor and a flak jacket.
Instead of her normal glasses, she's wearing the specialty
goggles you get to play racket-ball.
LUCY
Can't be too careful
Liv stands at attention and salutes.
LIV
Slayer-in-training reporting for duty!
Xander smiles.
XANDER
She's just going to be training. I don't think she needs the body armor
LUCY
Training? You mean like last night?
XANDER
I assure you there are no demons in
the building.
Liv laughs and begins to take off some of her hardware.
LUCY
This is a real nice place you got here.
XANDER
One of the benefits of being in the
construction industry is that you
can always find a good fixer-upper
dirt cheap. I've been restoring her
for the last six months.
LUCY
You do construction?
XANDER
Manage it mostly, but I still like
to get my hands dirty.
Liv finally gets out of her hardware.
LIV
Please god, don't ever make me put
that stuff on again.
LUCY
We'll see about that.
XANDER
Come on up, I'll show you my newest
project.
INT. XANDER'S FIREHOUSE - TRAINING ROOM
The room is still in a bit of disrepair, and has several
packing crates littered about, but the essence of the room
is that it's a workout room. Weapons are laid out. Mats on
the floor. Gymnastic and boxing equipment are in another
part of the room. Some familiar elements from the original
training studio at the Magic Box is seen.
The trio climb up the stairs
XANDER
Liv, this is for you. It was going
to be my entertainment center, but
I consider it a worthy sacrifice.
LIV
Wow.
XANDER
I had the council ship me some of
their old equipment. I still have
some work to do here, but we have
enough to start with.
LUCY
I feel like singing "Eye of the Tiger".
XANDER
Before we do anything else, all our
training will be done here until
your Mother and I agree you're ready.
LUCY
Which, by the way, will be NEVER.
LIV
Mom...
LUCY
Okay, okay. At least until hell
freezes over.
XANDER
(sarcastic)
Glad to have you on board.
LUCY
(ditto)
Happy to be here.
XANDER
All right, Liv... let's see what
you got..
BEGIN TRAINING MONTAGE:
Liv tries to throw wooden stakes at a crude vampire dummy
that bears a passing resemblance to either Spike or Angel.
The stakes hit everything but the dummy, and breaks a lot of
Xander's belongings
Lucy winces at each throw.
Xander gives weapon instruction a shot and walks Liv through
using a bo staff. She ends up knocking over a ladder and
smacking a paint can through the air, spilling paint
everywhere. Liv gives Xander and her mom a sheepish look.
Xander tries to walk Liv through vaulting over a pommel
horse. Liv makes her first run at the horse and ends up
running headfirst into it. The second run she goes over the
horse, but lands on her head. The third run... well
something happens but we only have to see the expressions on
Lucy and Xander's face to see that it ended badly. Very badly.
END TRAINING MONTAGE
INT. XANDER'S FIREHOUSE - MAIN ROOM
Liv is recovering from her work out. Xander is trying to put
a positive spin on her efforts.
XANDER
Okay... Well... We've learned some
interesting things today.
LUCY
That my daughter has no fighting or
agility skills.
LIV
(dejected)
I suck.
XANDER
For a first training sessions that
was actually...
Liv and Lucy glare at him.
XANDER
Pretty horrible.
LIV
Are you sure I'm supposed to save
the world?
XANDER
I don't get it! You should have
seen her last night! She was amazing.
LUCY
And goo-encrusted. Let's not forget
that.
LIV
(relieved &
disappointed at the
same time)
I guess I'm not going on patrol
anytime soon.
XANDER
No. Not for a while. But that's
okay. What we need to do now is to
put together a...
INT. CONSUL SANCTUM
The red hooded figures stand on their usual points on the
triangle.
CONSUL #1
...plan to bring about the end of
the Watcher and his trainee before
they begin to interfere.
CONSUL #2
She is still weak and unschooled.
Now would be the appropriate time
to strike.
CONSUL #3
Gather our forces. It begins now.
END ACT I
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