Disclaimer: Xander Harris and all things slayer belong to the Mighty Joss and Mutant Enemy. Anything else belongs to me.
XANDER (VO)
In my life, I've seen great tragedies, narrow victories and the loss of people I love. I can no longer turn away from the horrors of the world. My name is Xander Harris, and I am the Watcher.
FADE IN:
EXT. CAPE KENNETH CEMETERY - NIGHT
XANDER and LIV walk among the tombstones as Xander gives Liv
her first tutorial. Xander is dressed for action. Liv is
still in her catholic school girl outfit. Both are carrying
large axes.
XANDER
Okay... Now there's six different
cemeteries in Cape Kenneth. The
trick is to find the ones that have
the most activity, find the vamps'
favorite hiding spots and make sure
you hit them at random times during
the week.
LIV
Okay.
XANDER
Now let that be your first lesson.
Your next lesson is clothing.
LIV
What's wrong with my uniform?
XANDER
Nothing. Nothing at all. However
you will be going after creatures
of the night and it's important to
dress appropriately.
LIV
How do slayers' dress?
XANDER
Well... My personal experience is
that they um... well dress in tight
revealing clothing that would make
it impossible to fight in.
LIV
Is the point to distract the
creatures of the night with my
breasts and butt?
XANDER
Um... Possibly. Let's just say you
shouldn't wear anything you don't
want shredded or oozed on.
Liv shudders and makes a face.
XANDER
Now on to the...
EXT. CAPE KENNETH CEMETERY - BLURRY VISION
A demon is seen digging up a grave and then turning to attack.
EXT. CAPE KENNETH CEMETERY - NORMAL TIME
XANDER
(reeling)
Whoa.
Xander wobbles and then grabs a gravestone to sit on.
LIV
(Freaked out)
Mr. Harris?
XANDER
I'm all right. I just had a...
LIV
What?
XANDER
A premonition. Stay close.
LIV
(panicking)
I thought you said I wouldn't have
to kill anything tonight!
XANDER
Shh... Calm down. With any luck
it'll...
A demon jumps out behind them with a roar. Liv screams
bloody murder. Xander engages it with his ax.
XANDER
Liv, flank it!
LIV
What?!
XANDER
Go after it! Kill it!
Liv hesitates and Xander pays the price. The demon smacks
Xander around causing him to drop his guard and his ax. The
demon begins to strangle Xander while Liv is still frozen in
fear.
XANDER
(strangled)
Little... help... here...
Suddenly Liv snaps into action. She charges the demon,
sweeps the leg knocking it over on the ground. Without a
second thought she raises the ax and smashes it down on the
demon resulting in an explosion of green goo that totally
covers her. Liv is horrified.
Xander rushes to her side
XANDER
That was fantastic! I knew you had
it in you! I knew...
Xander stops as Liv turns to look at him. Xander holds her
by the shoulders.
XANDER
What's wrong?
Liv pukes all over Xander.
XANDER
I see.
Liv pukes again.
XANDER
That's it keep it coming.
Liv pukes yet again.
XANDER
Oh boy.
END TEASER
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