Willow opened the front door and stepped inside, Xander following behind her. The house was quiet, leaving Willow to believe Dawn was still sleeping. Willow made her way through the dining room and stepped into the kitchen. Tara was sat at the table eating breakfast and flipping through the paper, she looked up as Willow entered and smiled welcomingly.
“Morning Will.” Tara said brightly. “How was it?”
“I cried again.” Willow admitted moving to her girlfriend’s side. Tara stood from her chair, wrapping her arms around Willow comfortingly and stroking her soft red hair. “I really miss her.” Willow said miserably.
“I do too.” Tara nodded, speaking in a soothing tone. She noticed Xander standing in the kitchen doorway, looking anywhere but at the two of them. “Hey Xander.” She greeted. “Did you go too?”
“Yeah, we happened to run into each other.” Xander nodded.
“Xander cried.” Willow said, turning to him with a mischievous smile.
“You promised you wouldn’t tell.” Xander reminded her.
“How’ve you been?” Tara asked, taking a seat again. Xander shrugged.
“It’s been pretty rough.” He sighed. “I can’t believe she’s really gone.” A silence fell amongst them for a moment, all clearly finding it difficult to accept that Buffy was truly gone.
“Is Dawn up yet?” Willow asked, breaking the silence. Tara shook her head, but the sound of footsteps on the stairs made her stop. Dawn walked into the room yawning, dressed in a blue tank top and baggy white pants, clearly not bothering to get dressed.
“Hey sweetie.” Tara greeted her. “Did you sleep ok?”
“Not really.” Dawn shook her head, giving a half smile to Xander as she passed him. “Hey Xand.”
“You wanna do anything today?” Willow asked. “We could go out somewhere.”
“No thanks.” Dawn said plainly. Willow passed a worried glance to Tara.
“Are you sure?” Tara asked, reaching for the paper and flicking through it. “There’s some new movies you might like.”
“I don’t really feel up to doing much today.” Dawn stated, moving to the fridge and rooting inside. Tara and Willow turned to Xander for help, realising their own efforts were wasted.
“Then how about we rent a bunch of movies, order a couple of pizzas and hang out here?” Xander offered. “What do you say?” Dawn perked her head out from behind the door of the fridge, seemingly interested in the idea.
“And lots of ice-cream?” She asked. Willow and Tara exchanged a triumphant glance.
“Sure, all the ice-cream you can eat.” Xander nodded.
It had started well, Tara going out and coming back with four tubs of ice-cream, and Xander bringing at least a dozen movies and three pizzas. Dawn sat happily through three movies, eating an entire pizza and one and a half tubs of ice-cream on her own, but then Xander received a call from Anya and begrudgingly left. Once he was gone, Dawn became more and more distant, and after a short while she went up to her room to be alone. Willow and Tara had done their best to cheer her up but it was futile, Dawn had lost her sister and no amount of ice-cream or movies was going to make her feel better.
That night, Willow sat at the kitchen table, a leather-bound book beside her and an assortment of magical herbs and items spread out in front of her. Tara was upstairs and Dawn was still isolating herself in her room. Willow double-checked the potion description in the book, and then ensured she had the correct ingredients. After Dawn had decided to confine herself in her room and Tara had gone for a bath, Willow had searched for a spell or potion that would help Dawn forget the grief of Buffy’s death. The one she had chosen was tasteless according to the book, meaning she would be able to slip it into Dawn’s drink without her noticing. The book guaranteed that whoever drank the potion would wake up the next day completely happy and devoid of grief.
‘Perfect’ Willow thought to herself as she began to mix the correct fluids and herbs together in a bowl. Every now and then she would stop and listen carefully, making sure Tara was not coming. Willow was certain that Tara would not approve of trying to speed up the grieving process through magic, so she thought it best to keep it a secret for now. Willow added the last few ingredients to the mix, making sure she had followed the instructions correctly. ‘That’s it.’ Willow thought, a triumphant smile spreading on her face. At the other end of the table sat a mug of steaming hot chocolate that Willow had made before starting, perfect for concealing the potion. She checked the substance in the bowl was a thin, dark liquid before taking it over to the mug. She carefully poured the potion into the mug, the liquid changing colour as it mixed with the hot chocolate, making it impossible to distinguish between the two. Willow used a spoon to mix the potion in with the hot chocolate before heading out of the kitchen. She stepped into the dark hall and started up the stairs.
“Willow?” Tara appeared at the top of the stairs, stepping from their bedroom door. Willow froze for a moment, her entire body tensed up, afraid she was about to be discovered. “Are you coming to bed?” Tara asked in a soft tone. Her words made Willow relax and she continued up the stairs.
“Yeah, I… err… I’m just bringing Dawnie something to drink.” Willow explained.
“Don’t be too long.” Tara smiled, disappearing back inside their room. Willow reached the top of the stairs, walking straight across the hall to Dawn’s room. She knocked lightly and opened the door, stepping inside.
“Dawnie?” Willow saw her lying back on her bed, a framed picture in her hand. She didn’t reply. “You ok?” Willow asked, holding the mug of hot chocolate in her hands. Dawn still remained silent. Her small room was dark, save for her bedside lamp. Dawn’s bright blue eyes were damp, her cheeks reddened with tears. Willow placed the mug down on the cluttered bedside table and took a seat on the bed beside Dawn. “Dawnie?” Dawn tore her eyes from the picture in her hands and turned to Willow.
“She wasn’t meant to die.” Dawn’s voice quavered, as she spoke in a quiet, whispered tone. “It was meant to be me, wasn’t it?” Another tear fell from her eyes and a sob escaped her throat. “I was supposed to die.”
“Dawn no.” Willow shook her head. “Sweetie, why would you think that?”
“Because it’s true. Buffy died because of me.” Dawn sobbed. The words made Willow’s heart feel like it was about to break. She looked back at the picture in her hand, another tear trickling down her cheek. “I just want her back.” Willow shushed her, taking the framed picture from her and setting it down. She hugged her, Dawn embracing her tightly and crying into her shoulder. Willow looked at the picture Dawn had been staring at, it was a picture of her and Buffy together, and then Willow felt her heart breaking.
“It’s ok Dawnie.” Willow said comfortingly. “I miss her too. I miss her too.” Willow looked over to the mug of hot chocolate sitting on her bedside table.
‘I promise you Dawn, I’ll make things right.’ Willow made a silent promise in her mind before stroking Dawn’s soft brown hair. After she thought Dawn had calmed down, Willow let her go and reached for the mug.
“Here Dawnie.” Willow said, handing the mug to her and smiling sweetly. Dawn took the mug but simply stared at the contents. “What’s the matter? Aren’t you thirsty?” Dawn just shrugged, wiping her eyes. Willow sat there a moment longer, silently urging her to drink it. “I know things are hard now, but it’ll be better before you know it.” Willow said positively. Dawn nodded and forced a smile, before raising the mug to her lips and taking a long sip. A smile spread on Willow’s face, and she stood up from the bed. Dawn took another long sip and set the mug down on her bedside table. “Try and get some sleep, ok?” Willow smiled.
“I’ll try.” Dawn nodded, lying back and resting her head on the plump pillow.
“I promise you, when you wake up tomorrow, you’ll feel better.”
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