INT. SHOOTING RANGE - WOLFRAM & HART
GUNN is leaning back against the wall as a TECHIE gives a demonstration of some of the new armaments. Along the wall are four stuffed dummies that are made to resemble vampires. The Techie is holding something that looks like a cross between a single-barreled elephant gun and a pump action shotgun.
TECHIE
What I have here is a prototype THX-1138 Pump Action SVDK. Your new armament against vampires. 60% more effective than your average means of destroying a vampire. Instead of firing your standard shell, this shoots the cartridge into the neer-do-well's chest. Upon impact the shell explodes sending compressed redwood pellets into and through the vampire's heart, effectively blowing the target into onion soup mix.
GUNN
Hmm. May I?
The Techie visibly hesitates.
TECHIE
We're still going through the testing phase. We still have some R&D to do.
Gunn takes the prototype out of the Techie's hand.
GUNN
Well, let's see what some C&G can do.
GUNN goes through a rapid-fire sequence, leaving nice clean holes in all four of the vampire dummies' chests. Nothing else appears to happen. Gunn is unimpressed.
GUNN (CONT'D)
Is that it?
TECHIE
Well, there are a couple of bugs to work out.
Suddenly all four dummies explode in sequence, blowing the top half off of their bodies. GUNN and the Techie dive for cover. As the smoke clears Gunn has a big grin on his face.
GUNN
How soon can I have one?
SFX: Chirping noise
Gunn holds up his coat cuff to his mouth.
GUNN (CONT'D)
Gunn here.
FEMALE VOICE
(Filtered)
Mr. Gunn? We have a young woman here at the front desk who is demanding to speak to "the vampire". She's making quite a scene and security seems to be having a difficult time removing her.
GUNN
I'm on my way.
CUT TO:
INT - WOLFRAM AND HART - ANGEL'S OFFICE.
FRED, WES, SPIKE and ANGEL are going through some of the new gizmos available to them from the lab.
FRED
This tool will revolutionize the way we investigate ethereal matters.
WES holds up what appears to be a "Magic Eight Ball".
WES
You must be joking. This actually works?
FRED
It's a combination voice interactive probability matrix software combined with an uplink to an actual spiritual guidance.. uh... spirit.
WES
Assuming the spiritual source is reliable, this could be an effective tool.
FRED
Didn't I just say that?
ANGEL
Wes likes to repeat the obvious. Let me try.
(Shakes Eight Ball)
Will Spike ever get tire of hanging around my office and being a general pain in the ass?
Spike shoots Angel a glare.
SPIKE
Aren't you a funny git?
Angel turns the ball over.
ANGEL
(Reading)
Ask again later.
SPIKE
Ask it if you're ever going to shag again. I'd be most worried about that.
ANGEL
(Shakes the ball)
All right. Will I ever lose my soul again?
(Turns the ball over and reads)
Ask again later.
Everyone looks skeptically at Fred.
FRED
Maybe the spirit's taking a coffee break.
F/X: Phone ring.
Angel turns on the speaker phone.
ANGEL
Hello?
INT - WOLFRAM AND HART - MAIN ENTRANCE
GUNN is thrown hard against the wall. He jumps to his feet, draws his pistol and aims it at someone off screen. He talks into his cuff microphone. In the background we hear the sounds of hand to hand combat.
GUNN
Angel, we have a situation here that needs your attention.
INT. - ANGEL'S OFFICE
ANGEL
What is it?
GUNN
(FILTERED) We've got some crazy blond chick down here demanding to see "the vampire."
ANGEL
What?
GUNN
(FILTERED) You heard me. She claims she's from Sunnydale and wants to see either "the one she's had sex with" or "the one who broods a lot".
ANGEL and SPIKE share a look.
SPIKE
Race ya!
SPIKE runs out of the office.
ANGEL
We're on our way.
INT. HALLWAY/ELEVATOR ENTRANCE
Angel catches up to Spike in front of the elevator.
ANGEL
(Smirking)
Problem?
SPIKE
Hard to go anywhere with the doors locked with a security code.
Angel smiles and presses a few of the elevator buttons and leans against the wall.
ANGEL
Makes you miss floating through walls and floors?
SPIKE
I never liked going through floors anyway. It's... Creepy.
ANGEL
You drank blood for over a century, but floating through floors is creepy?
SPIKE
You ever floated through a floor?
ANGEL
No.
SPIKE
Then you shouldn't talk.
The elevators door opens and both walk through with the door closing behind them.
INT. ELEVATOR.
SPIKE (CONT'D)
So... Which one of us is the brooding one?
ANGEL
I think that's rather obvious.
SPIKE
Because you know I've done the nasty with her too, you know.
ANGEL
I know.
SPIKE
And afterwards I didn't turn into a world-class monster bent on destroying the world.
Angel sighs with frustration and presses the stop button. The elevator groans to a halt
SPIKE (CONT'D)
What the bloody hell do you think you're doing?
ANGEL
Look, I know how you feel. But the best thing for both of us is not to act like two jealous school boys brawling over a little girl.
SPIKE
Like hell! Women love drama! 200 plus years and I thought you would have learned that.
ANGEL
Yeah, but do you really think Buffy wants to see us beat the crap out of each other?
Spike backs down.
SPIKE
I see your point.
ANGEL
Truce?
SPIKE
Truce.
Angel starts the elevator again.
SPIKE (CONT'D)
But the minute she starts playing us off each other, I'm taking your pansy-arse down.
ANGEL
You're welcome to try.
The elevators bings.
INT. MAIN LOBBY
Spike and Angel strut into the lobby, preening themselves in anticipation.
ANGEL
How’s my hair look?
SPIKE
Spikey. How’s mine?
ANGEL
Blonde.
As they turn the corner, they stop cold with a look of shock.
SPIKE
Oh bloody hell.
INT. - FRONT DESK
ANYA stands at the front desk, surrounded by either Gunn's security team, or unconscious bodies. Her hair is blond and the rest of her looks like she just dug herself out of a pile of rubble.
ANYA
See? I told you they knew me.
(points)
I had sex with the blonde one.
Gunn looks at Angel and Spike in disbelief. Angel continues to gawk. Spike shrugs.
SPIKE
Guess that makes you the brooding one.
|
|
|
|
Rave
Barbie Girl (Becca)
biscuit07
Filmtheory (Jim)
Malice (Jess)
MebbtheScribe (MichaelB)
Reset (Allie)
Shay (Marrisa)
somnambulist29 (Shea)
Stephanie Loss
Wendyness (Wendy)
Questions?Contact Us
|
|
All stories on this site have been archived with the authors' consent. Do not copy these stories for your own uses without the express consent of the author themselves. Buffy the Vampire Slayer TM and Angel TM are © UPN, WB, Fox and its related entities. All photos on the site are © UPN, Fox, Warner Bros, and/or their respective owners. No profits are being made by use of these images.
Powered with the assitance of eFiction.
|
|
|
