The day had taken on an air of unreality for Giles. Ninety minutes ago he’d been in a funding meeting vociferously attempting to defend his department from the threat of a significant cut to their budget, now he was walking through the park hand in hand with someone he adored, someone he’d thought was a thousand miles away, whilst her remarkable daughter ran in circles around them.
Alice fascinated him. It had been a long while since Giles had been around a child of her age. Friends had started families and he’d been an enthusiastic ‘uncle’ and twice Godfather, but that had been decades ago, those children had children of their own now. Already he couldn’t bear the idea that it may be years before he saw her again. She would be someone else by then, probably no less delightful but entirely different from the whimsical little girl he saw before him today. He was simply unused to spending time with someone who lived one hundred percent in the moment, appearing to possess little or no attention span. Then there was Alice’s habit of saying whatever came into her head.
‘Where’s your wife?’ she asked him.
‘Alice!’ Buffy exploded. ‘You don’t just say that.’
‘I don’t mind.’
‘I do.’ insisted Buffy. ‘That’s not polite.’
Alice was starting to get upset.
‘But he’s wearing a ring.’
‘Married is when you wear a ring on this finger.’
Buffy held her own up to demonstrate.
‘Just that finger?’ Buffy and Giles nodded. ‘So you’re not married?’
No, I’m not. Are you?’
Alice hooted with laughter.
‘Silly! Children don’t get married.’ she giggled again at the idea then looked at him seriously.
‘But you should be married by now.’
It was Giles’ turn to laugh.
‘You sound like my mother.’ he teased.
‘Your what?’ Buffy almost shouted.
‘My mother,’ said Giles calmly though confused by the intensity of Buffy’s reaction.
‘I thought you were… we all assumed she must be…’ she trailed off.
‘No she most definitely is not…’ he raised an eyebrow amused by Buffy’s sudden awkwardness. ‘She lives in Brighton attends far more social functions then I ever do, drives as if there are no other cars on the road and despite my continual failure to walk down the aisle remains rather fond of me as I am of her.’
Buffy stared at him incredulously.
‘In all this time you’ve never mentioned her. Friends? Family?’ he nodded. ‘Then why come to Sunnydale and pretend none of them exist?’
When Giles didn’t answer immediately she looked at him sadly.
‘I don’t know you at all, do I?’
There are many ways in which the relationship between Slayer and Watcher is unequal, their respective talents split between the physical and cerebral. In terms of personal knowledge Giles won hands down. It had been part of his duty to know all that he could about his Slayer, her motivations, her fears, her life. Buffy only knew of him what he chose to tell her which had been very little. Giles was as inclined to talk about himself as Buffy was to ask personal questions, so she’d known him only in the present tense with no real impression of where he‘d come from, or his aspirations if and when he left the Hellmouth.
Giles had had enough of the past. He had spent his life trying to reconcile with the consequences of mistakes made when he’d been young and foolish enough to have no sense of future implications, more recently he’d spent a lot of time thinking of Buffy. He couldn’t recall the moment when duty had turned to devotion, along with the realization that the child he’d come to train had become a beautiful vivacious woman who’d captured him heart and soul without ever noticing he was there. It was certainly frustrating, however he had been part of her daily life, violent and chaotic though it may have been at least there was a sense of purpose and belonging, but in saving this world they’d destroyed theirs, and in the rare moments Giles looked at the situation objectively he could see that none of them had survived intact.
If Buffy felt that she didn’t know him then he would gladly tell her anything and everything over time. That was what Giles desired above all else: time with Buffy. To bury the past and build a future together, one that he would give all that he had to ensure that it was filled with peace and security, for them and for Alice. Buffy may not feel as if she really knew him, but she had to believe him when he finally said he loved her, risking rejection for the solace that at least she would then know. Giles checked his watch - they’d be leaving in a couple of hours it was now or…it was now.
‘There is something I want you to know. S-something I’ve been trying to tell you for years.’
Giles stood still, ran a hand through his hair and hoped very much that his nerve wouldn’t fail him. He couldn’t bring himself to meet Buffy’s eyes and looked ahead instead.
‘You only wear glasses to make you look clever?’
Giles snapped in frustration.
‘Please Buffy, can we refrain from flippancy for one moment?’
Buffy saw the seriousness of his expression and immediately looked worried.
‘Giles, are you okay?’
You idiot, he chided himself. This is supposed to be romantic but instead you’ve managed to scare her. Berk.
‘Yes, yes I’m fine. What I’m trying to say is that…that we saved the world.’
Buffy looked puzzled.
‘I know we did, I was there - it was this whole big thing.’
Giles took a deep breath, suppressed the nervous impulse to clean his lenses and continued.
‘We saved the world and have paid a price for so doing. On the whole I’d say it was better than the certain death that looked to be on the cards but despite whatever professional and personal triumphs’ he smiled down at Alice ‘have taken place since then nothing seems to…’
‘Fit’ cut in Buffy, comprehension dawning. ‘it doesn’t really make sense without something to fight for, nothing fills the gap. Xander’s practically afraid of the dark, Willow’s got this whole ruthless capitalist thing going on, me and Alice have got some travelling to do and you…’
‘And I love you.’
Buffy’s eyes went wide with shock.
‘I love you, Buffy Summers.’ Giles said softly, reaching out and cupping the side of her face with his hand.
‘You’re what makes sense to me. You’re what I fought for, what I’ve longed for and all that I desire.’
He leaned forward, kissing her as gently as he knew how, then stared deep into her eyes.
‘We saved the world,’ he said.
‘Sure did.’
‘Save me.’
The End
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