A/N: The song Lorne sings is “Loving Arms” by the Dixie Chicks. I’ve never heard it and don’t know how it goes, but needed a song with the words “Loving Arms” in it.
Dawn was flabbergasted. “You . . . but you . . .”
“How do you think a town as small as Sunnydale got an army base, a University of California campus, and an airport?” Richard asked. “I’ll tell you how. My hard work and connections, as well as those of California’s fine Senator, Caroline Brucker.” Richard looked pointedly at Spike. “Now deceased.”
“If she was involved with them, then we definitely don’t want that Initiative lot here,” Spike said.
“The Initiative was evil?” Connor said, snapping out of intense thought and looking up. “No wonder Graham tried to tazer me.”
“It’s complicated,” Dawn said.
“Hello?” a voice called from the lobby.
The group tensed but Richard held up a claming hand. “Relax. It’s only Kevin.”
A young, attractive looking man in a rather nice suit entered the lounge. He had slicked back brown hair and a pale, angular face. “Is this . . . are you . . .” He saw Richard. “Hello. I’m Kevin Tam. Um . . . Doctor Kevin Tam. I’m here to . . . to try to help.”
The doctor looked extremely nervous. He also looked extremely familiar. At least to Faith.
“Dr. Tam?” Faith asked. “You . . . you were the shrink Eve brought to see me.”
“So he was in bed with the Initiative and Wolfram & Hart,” Spike snarled. “Yep. Got us a real winner here, we do.”
Tam looked scared and guilty as hell as he glanced from Faith to Richard. He was definitely new to this game. “I . . .” He glanced at Richard again. “I was supposed to get you put in a mental institution so Richard could get you out. He didn’t tell you?”
“Kevin, why don’t we discuss that later,” Richard said. “These people need your considerable services.”
**
“And once again, Anton, you get it wrong,” Vladimir said as he entered the room. “Andre spoke to the client. The only way to kill this demon is to destroy the body, not the head.”
Anton threw his cigarette on the ground and jumped in Vladimir’s face. “How am I to know this? If the client has this information, why do we not know until after it is important? What creature have you ever heard tales, that has this destroy the body not the head nonsense.”
“A Kieranaad,” Boris said from behind Anton.
“A Kieranaad is a dragon,” Anton yelled. “Dragons don’t count!”
“Regardless,” Vladimir said. “The client wants this demon dead. We have to go get the body.”
***
“We have to go get the head!” Faith yelled. “Dawn says that we can save Lorne if we get his head back.”
“How common’s this knowledge on how to kill Green?” Spike asked.
Dawn shrugged. “Angel knows. Lorne knows. Other than that, just a few top people at the Watcher’s Council.”
“The Council was told?” Xander said. “I didn’t hear about it.”
“Like I said,” Dawn glared at Xander. “Only a few top people.”
“Guess that explains why I’m out of the loop,” Faith said sullenly. She knew recent events confirmed their lack of complete trust in her. Still, it hurt that they hadn’t told her. “Is it in the database?”
Dawn nodded. “But only people with top access-”
“The Markovics could’ve hacked it,” Spike said.
“Willow set it up to be hack-proof!” Xander said angrily.
“We have to be safe,” Faith said. “We have to assume they’ll be coming for the body.”
“That’s good,” Connor said.
“What?!” Faith, Spike, Xander, and Dawn shouted.
“He’s right,” Billy said. “You have no idea where their headquarters is. But if they come here, you’ll know where they are.”
“I thought Mayor McEvil was out inside man,” Spike said. “Why doesn’t he know where they are?”
“Unless they order more equipment from Pierre,” Richard said, “he probably won’t get a line on where they are.”
“Can I just interrupt for the briefest of seconds?” Kevin asked nervously. “Um, most of you have been shot, beaten, or in some other way recently injured. I’m not exactly sure trying to fight the same people who did this to you is a good idea. But that’s just a doctor’s point of view.”
“We can’t sit back and wait for them to come to us,” Faith said, ignoring Tam. “We find them before sundown. That gives us the advantage.”
Richard removed his cell phone. “I’ll call Pierre and anyone else I can. See if we can find them.”
Billy looked at Faith. “I want to help. I owe you that. For helping me with Jeff. And . . . and for high school.”
“Won’t your mommy be worried you’re out so late?” Faith asked.
Billy laughed. “I’ll call her. Let her know I’ll be later.” He pointed to the lobby. “Can I use the phone at the front desk.”
Faith nodded. “Sure. Fine. Whatever.”
Less than a half hour later, Richard returned to the room. By then, Dr. Tam had finished treating everyone. He looked up at Richard. “Can anyone tell me why I’m picking bullets out of a headless green corpse?”
“We’ll explain later,” Faith said, downing a glass of whiskey. She looked at Richard. “You got news?”
“I just got a call from Pierre,” Richard said happily. “They’re in Death Valley.”
Faith stood and walked to the lobby. “Xander, Spike, and Tam are here guarding Lorne’s body and the hotel.”
“Oh, bloody hell,” Spike shouted. It being day, there wasn’t much possibility of him going out, but, “Why the hell does droopy boy have to stay?!”
“Me, Connor, Dawn, Mayor Wilkins, and Billy are going to Death Valley.”
****
Vladimir hung up the phone and walked to Boris. “Get your team to Death Valley. They’re going to the ambush point in four hours.”
“You said we’d have ‘til tomorrow night,” Boris replied.
“Now you have until 6pm,” Vladimir snapped back. “And none of this would be necessary had you done your job last night.”
Boris nodded and turned toward the truck. “Anton, load the trailer and tell the driver we’re heading out.” He turned back to Vladimir. “Speaking of heads, what do we do about the green one?”
“After you dispatch the slayer, we go back to get the body. Oh, and, try to remember to extract our agent this time. Provided you succeed, of course.”
“I’ll succeed,” Boris said harshly.
*****
“Place looks empty,” Dawn said as they crept around the small hut.
“It is,” Connor said, sniffing the air. “There’s no one here.”
“I thought you had the inside info,” Dawn said to Richard in her snarkiest tone.
Faith froze. “It’s a trap!”
It was not yet dusk, so Faith and her team had a few moments to find cover before the vamps would be on them. Dawn suggested a retreat. Faith growled her objection.
“We fight them here and now,” she said. “We grab one of these bastards and we beat on him until he says where Lorne is.”
“There’s a couple vans coming,” Connor said, seeing a cloud of dust long away in the distance.
Dawn looked at the vans, then Connor. “How far can you track something? Not a person, but a vehicle.”
Connor shrugged. “Never tried tracking cars before. They all kind of smell the same.”
Dawn bit her lip, glanced at their SUV, then Connor. “Give it your best shot,” she said. “Faith! New plan!”
******
“They’ve had more than enough time to get there,” Vladimir said impatiently.
“You want us come back?” Boris asked in his broken English.
“Not yet.” Vladimir drummed his fingers impatiently on the table. “Send a team to backtrack to their hotel. Perhaps the incompetent boobs have broken down or . . .” Vladimir looked at his other cell phone. “Boris, hold on.” Vladimir switched phones.
“We can drop you here, then hit the warehouse from this side,” Faith’s voice came across the line weakly.
“Should we get backup?” Dawn’s voice.
“Not enough time,” Faith answered. “But let me call Spike so he knows where we are if the plan goes south.”
The cell phone rung off. Vladimir quickly picked up the original phone quickly. “Boris, get back here now.” Vladimir hung up and shouted at the handful of vampires remaining in the warehouse. “Search the perimeter!”
As Vladimir shouted, an SUV smashed through one of the garage doors. Richard drove and Billy rode shotgun as Connor and Faith dove out the side and took cover.
Vladimir picked up a pistol from his desk and began firing at the truck behind which Connor and Faith had dove.
“Stay behind the tires!” Faith called, letting Connor know where to take cover against weapons fire.
Richard swung the SUV around, looping behind the truck where Connor and Faith were hiding. The vehicle had taken a few well-placed shots, but extra armor by the gas tank and run-flat tires kept it rolling.
“Done!” Richard yelled. Faith and Connor dove into the SUV. Richard hit the gas and the vehicle sped off.
Vladimir fired at the retreating vehicle. “How did they get this close without us knowing?!”
“You sent Boris and Anton to Death Valley,” a vamp called Fyodor answered. “We’re low on men. But who cares? All they did was drive around in a circle.”
“Reconnaissance,” Vladimir said. “They were getting the layout of our lair before their assault.” Vladimir turned back to his desk and noticed something missing. “Or, I suppose they were distracting us while someone else rescued the green demon’s head.”
*******
“Lying in your loving arms again./ If you could hear me now singing somewhere through./ The lonely nights./ Dreaming of the arms that held me tight . . . Sorry,” Lorne spoke at last as Dawn held his head on her lap. “I don’t usually do country. Not my forte. But sweetie, I could kiss you right about now.”
Connor was sitting beside Dawn in the backseat and grinning widely at her. “You hear that?” he proudly asked no one in particular. “My girl floated a head.”
“In fact,” Lorne continued. “I’m going to kiss you. Hold this silly severed head of mine up to your sweet cheek, sweet cheeks.”
Richard pulled the SUV up behind the hotel and the crew piled out.
“We have a doctor,” Dawn said. “He should be able to sew your head back on.”
“Sorry, doll,” Lorne said. “It’s going to be a bit more difficult than that. We’re going to have to head back to my home dimension and, god help us, talk to my mother.”
“Talking to your mom is bad?” Connor asked.
“Only when she’s awake.” Lorne looked up, as if pondering something. “Actually, I take that back. It’s pretty unpleasant when she’s asleep as well.”
Connor smiled. “Glad to know I’m not the only one who has a sucky parent.”
“I hear that,” Dawn said, thinking of her sucky father.
“Sing it on the mountain, brother,” Faith added as she threw open the door and stepped into the lobby.
“Speaking of parents and getting or not getting along,” Lorne chimed in. “Connor, is there any chance you might get your dad to come help us out? He’s actually kind of popular in Pylea.”
Connor rolled his eyes. Faith playfully smacked him in the back of the head.
“Hey,” Dawn said. “Don’t smack my boyfriend!”
“Hey,” Spike added. “Don’t smack him for rolling his eyes when you mention Angel! See you kids made out,” he added. “What with you having the head and all.”
Kevin Tam stared at Lorne’s animate head in shock. “When you said I was going to reattach a severed head to that green corpse, I thought you were . . . high.” Dr. Tam waved his hand in front of his face and watched it intently. “Now I think maybe I’m high.”
“Hey, Faith and Dawn,” Lorne whispered, trying to make eye contact, but unable due to the position of his head. “If possible, I need to talk to you two about slayer, watcher stuff. Spike and Connor might as well be in the room, too, since they eavesdrop all the time anyway.”
“I do not!” Connor yelled from across the room.
“You’re not supposed to acknowledge what they say when you’re eavesdropping,” Spike said, shaking his head. “For pity’s sake, did Angel teach you nothing?”
“No,” Connor said. “He didn’t.”
Richard, Kevin, Xander, and Billy hung out in the lobby while Dawn, Faith, Spike, and Connor went into the office.
Lorne sighed. “So, while I was a head held hostage- hey, try saying that three times fast- anyway, I managed to do some eavesdropping of my own. The Markovics have an inside man.”
“The mayor!” Dawn said immediately.
“You don’t know that,” Faith said angrily.
“Who else?” Dawn snapped back.
“Maybe his crooked doctor friend,” Spike offered.
“The one you were going to have sew my head on!” Lorne said, taking offense. “Gee. Thanks a lot.”
“Can you read them?” Connor asked quickly. “Make them sing , then read them.”
“Not very well without my body attached.”
Faith sat behind the desk and looked at the floor. “Fine. Connor, call Angel. Tell him we need him for the Pylea field trip. You, me, Angel, and Lorne go and get him sorted out as soon as possible. Spike and Dawn, fill in Xander on the informant situation. Also . . . bury the hatchet on the locking me up thing.”
“What?!” Spike and Dawn yelled simultaneously.
“Me keeping Richard a secret caused what happened as much as him and Graham did. Besides, if you want a second chance, you have to offer the same to others. That’s some Taoist, Buddhist, Zen shit somebody told me about in the can. Seemed to make sense. In the meantime, I’m getting some sleep.” Faith stood and walked from the room.
Spike looked at Dawn and Connor. “I’ll talk to droopy boy about our leak and stand watch over Lorne’s head.”
“Thanks, buddy,” Lorne said.
“You two get some sleep, too,” Spike said. “Long day tomorrow.”
Connor looked at Dawn. “I gotta call my dad. Then I’ll be right up.”
“Oh crap!” Dawn said. “Calling your dad. That’s one of the things you have to do.”
“And now I’m doing it.”
“We’re also supposed to do the black energy spell. We missed one.”
“Really? I feel great.”
“Hey Billy,” Faith said when she stepped into the lobby. “Where you bunking these days?”
Billy shrugged. “Looks like you got a lot of room here. And you could probably use an ex-soldier. Mind if I crash?”
Faith grinned. “Not at all. How’s my room suit you?”
Billy smiled back. “You asking what I think you’re asking?”
“If you think I’m asking you for a back rub, then yeah. I’m asking what you think I’m asking. If you were thinking something dirtier . . .” Faith raised her eyebrows. “Then I guess that depends on how good a backrub I get.”
********
Connor rolled over and instantly the scent of Dawn’s hair filled his nostrils. He wrapped his arms around her and kissed the back of her head. He smiled as he remembered the previous night. Dawn had asked him to move into her room. He’d already put what few belongings he had into one of the dressers.
“One of these days,” Connor said quietly. “I’m not going to realize it’s you watching over me and you’re going to wind up getting staked.”
“You don’t even need to smell the air to know I’m here, Connor,” Angel said in a grave voice.
Connor rolled over and looked at his father. “You came pretty quickly.”
“You called me.” Angel shifted uncomfortably. “So. You and Dawn.”
“Is that a problem?”
Angel looked at the door. “We should go downstairs and talk. About Lorne and . . . and some other stuff.” Angel walked out of the room and headed downstairs.
Connor crossed the lobby to the office about a half hour after Angel. Angel sat behind the desk. Faith sat on it. Connor dropped into a seat by the door. He’d showered and his shoulder length hair was still wet.
“You need a haircut,” Angel said.
“That’s what I said,” Connor smiled. “But Dawn likes it long.”
“I’ll bet she does,” Faith said, raising her eyebrows.
“Now . . . Connor,” Angel started nervously. “I need to talk to you about . . . life. I mean, I never really gave you the talk.”
“The talk?” Connor asked.
“You never explained the birds and the bees?” Faith asked Angel incredulously.
Connor confusedly looked back and forth. “I already know about birds and bees.”
“Connor,” Angel started. “Since you and Dawn are, are . . . since you’re . . .”
“Fucking,” Faith offered.
“Sexually active,” Angel said, clenching his teeth. “You have certain obligations to . . . to protect her.”
“I always protect her,” Connor said, somewhat angered by the fact that his father thought he wasn’t doing his duty as a protector.
“No,” Angel said, shaking his head. He was having difficulty explaining this and wondered if he should just turn things over to Faith. She’d probably delight in the task. “I mean protection from . . . well, you.”
Connor jumped from his seat and charged at Angel. Faith quickly shoved Connor back into his seat.
“Take it easy!” the slayer said.
“I’d never hurt her!” Connor yelled.
“I’m talking about using protection during sex, Connor,” Angel said.
“I wouldn’t hurt her during sex, either,” Connor shouted as Faith continued to hold him back. “Well, except that first time, but she said that was normal for the first time.”
Faith released Connor, being caught off guard by the comment. “Dawn was a virgin? Are you kidding me?” She shook her head. “Look, he’s talking about condoms.”
“Condoms?” Connor said. “I thought they were almost extinct.”
“What?” Angel said. “No, Connor, condoms. Not condors. Condors are birds.”
“Well you said we were talking about birds and bees!” Connor yelled.
Faith removed an extra strength Durex from her pocket and handed it to Connor. “This is a condom. You should wear one of these when you have sex.”
Connor looked at the condom oddly, then placed it on his head. Faith laughed so hard she fell to the floor. Angel fought to contain his own amusement.
“No, son. You put it over your . . . you know, your--”
“Cock,” Faith offered, still laughing on the floor.
“Penis,” Angel said.
Connor looked at the condom again. “I’m, um . . . I’m going to need a bigger one.”
“Well,” Angel said. “It, uh.” He put his hands next to each other and moved them apart. “It expands.”
Connor looked at the condom, still incredulous. “It’d have to expand a lot.”
Still laughing hysterically, Faith removed the condom from Connor’s hand and ripped the packet open. She made a fist and rolled the condom over the fist and down to her elbow.
“Oh,” Connor said, clearly impressed. “Yeah, um . . . that’ll do it.”
Faith looked at Connor, serious at last. “God, I hope so. Especially if Dawn was a virgin. Look, Angel, why don’t we go get Lorne’s head reattached. When we get back, I’ll take your boy shopping.”
*********
“Still no word from the rest of the Watcher’s Council,” Xander said. “I’ve been checking every web site, calling every emergency number. Nothing. I’m not sure this is a great time for you guys to be running off.”
“We’ll be back before you know it,” Faith said. “Billy and Spike should keep guard in case the Markovics come back. If anything happens--”
“We know the contingency plan,” Spike said. “Good luck you four. And try not to shag Angel. Or his runt of a kid.”
“Definitely don’t shag his runt of a kid,” Dawn said as she came down the stairs. “Oh, and thanks for the condom talk, but I’m on the pill.”
“Raise your hand if you didn’t want to hear that,” Xander said, raising his hand. Spike followed suit.
Connor, carrying Lorne’s body, and Angel, carrying the head, came out of the office. “Got the book, Faith?” Angel asked.
“Yep,” she said, tapping the tome she pulled from the library.
**********
“Home, sweet home,” Lorne said as the SUV drove out of the portal and into Pylea. “Now can we hurry up so we can get the hell out of here?”
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