Author's Note 1: Yes, I am insane. Get used to it. :>
Author's Note 2: This little tale stems from some comments made on the XanderZone list a few months back about why no one had ever done a story where one of the people affected by the Slayer activation spell was a celebrity. I let the idea churn in my head but couldn't decide on a celeb until catching an episode of "E! True Hollywood Story" one weekend. This is the result.
Author's Note 3: This takes place a couple weeks before Christmas 2003.
Author's Note 4: The celeb in question is not an "A-Lister" because I didn't want her to be immediately recognizable. I thought it would be more fun for the Scooby who runs across her (Xander) to have to try to figure out where he knows her from.
** ** **
Xander Harris stood in the shadow of a green dumpster outside the side entrance to the club, all his attention focused on the door in front of him. The sounds of a city alive and, in this area at this time of night, at play washed unnoticed over him.
The stake the dark-haired, dark-attired young man gripped felt like an extension of his right hand. A seven-year veteran of this secret way, the proper way to hold his weapon while awaiting his enemy had become reflex. He'd never possess the easy grace with which a Slayer adapted to all melee weapons she came into contact with, but with a stake he was very comfortable.
The door opened and the couple stepped out into the brisk December wind. Close up, he judged the woman to be much more attractive than she appeared to be at a distance. She still could have been improved with a reduction in the size of her implants, but her curly blonde, mid-back length hair and the sultry lines of her face made up for that. She and the somewhat taller, sandy-haired man with her held hands casually and comfortably. It was clear they'd been together quite some time and, if Xander's luck in surviving and helping others survive combat held, they'd have many more years left together.
The vampires burst through the doors in full game face and all hell broke losse. 'Right,' Xander thought before charging into the fray, 'no battle plan survives contact with the enemy. And doesn't that just suck?' It was, like every fight he'd been in, one part courage, one part survival instinct, two parts chaos and chock full of violence.
The blonde was holding her own easily against the red-and-black plaid flannel-wearing vamp Xander had mentally designated as the 'Larry' in this 'Larry, Darryl and Darryl' trio. 'New Slayer?' Xander wondered. He and the vamp he was fighting heard a howl of agony and both looked up to see 'Larry' go flying through the air and land with a clang in the dumpster whose lid, jostled by the impact, slammed shut on top of him. 'Yep. New Slayer.'
Xander's 'Darryl' turned to run towards the dumpster, giving Xander a perfect target. He took advantage of the opportunity and staked the room-temperature IQ vamp through the back.
The sound of the vampire going 'poof' was very shortly followed by the woman's voice yelling "Hands off my husband, asshole!" That was itself followed by the sick crunch of vampiric flesh and bone meeting the stone wall of the club and both objects losing. The vamp slid unconscious to the ground, leaving a smear of blood down the body-shaped crack in the wall.
"Here!" Xander yelled, tossing her his stake.
She plucked it casually from the air. "What do I do with this?"
"Through the heart!"
Acting without conscious thought, she followed through on his instructions. The vampire exploded into dust all over her. "What the fuck?" she swore, dropping the stake and brushing the dust off her.
A clang, a thud and an "Ow! Dammit!" announced that 'Larry' had made his way out of the dumpster. Xander pulled a cross out of the inside pocket of his winter coat and made his way towards the vamp. The newly undead backed up, felt the dumpster blocking his way and swore. It looked around and, seeing no way to escape, leapt at Xander.
'Some nights I hate this job,' Xander thought as he spun out of the way and smacked the vamp in the back of its head with his cross. 'Like those nights when something's trying to kill me. Now that I think about it, that's every night. I hate this job.'
The bearded, mullet-wearing nosferatu scrambled to his feet and growled at Xander. "Pirate-loving freak! I'll rip your lungs out!"
"That's the best you can do? The art of quality insulting really has gone to hell," he replied. Smiling, he watched as the woman took off one of her high-heeled shoes and snuck up behind the vampire.
"Gurk," the demon-infested corpse muttered as the top-heavy blonde drove her heel through its skull and into its brain. It fell to its knees, then pitched face first onto the ground.
"I killed him," she whispered, her eyes wide and focused on the human-looking creature lying in front of her.
"Can't kill what's already dead," Xander said with gentle force. "Can you get me that stake you dropped over by that dust pile?"
She nodded and turned around, lurching forward as she struggled to walk with speed while wearing only one heel. As she knelt down to grab the stake, Xander carefully flipped the vampire onto its back. Sure, there was no real danger of the thing getting up. Didn't hurt to be careful, however.
'Yeah,' Xander thought, 'he's not going anywhere for a while even if I did have a Snickers bar to give him. Damn, I'm not seeing things. That really IS a fuck-me pump she shoved in his head. Faith's definitely going to like her.'
Now barefoot, the woman strode back to Xander and handed him the stake. He took it in his left hand. "What the hell's going on?" she asked.
"This," he said, pointing to the monster with his cross, "is a vampire. You've already staked one and seen it turn to dust, so spare me the 'This guy's a psycho and this can't be real' look. I'm not, this is, deal with it. In my hand is a cross. Vamps tend to avoid these. When they can't, the cross burns them. Like this." He knelt down and pressed the cross against the vampire's face, which sizzled and smoked at the contact.
"There are several ways to kill a bloodsucker. And nice shot with the heel by the way. Haven't seen anything that cool in a while. The most common is a stake through the heart." He put the cross in his right coat pocket and switched the stake into his right hand. Kneeling down over the still form of the vampire and chuckling at the memory of the look on the thing's face as the heel penetrated its grey matter, he shoved the stake through its heart.
He stood and turned back towards the woman. She was standing there staring at him, her mouth silently opening and closing in a manner that reminded him of the fish Willow used to have. "Right. So we'll get your husband to the hospital and I'll explain everything there." He put the stake back in his inside pocket and pulled out his walkie.
"Faith? Everything all right?"
"Five-by-five, X. Another two bit the dust."
"Gotta take some people to the hospital. You gonna be okay?"
"Meet you back at the house."
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