Author's Note 1: Yes, I am insane. Get used to it. :>
Author's Note 2: This little tale stems from some comments made on the XanderZone list a few months back about why no one had ever done a story where one of the people affected by the Slayer activation spell was a celebrity. I let the idea churn in my head but couldn't decide on a celeb until catching an episode of "E! True Hollywood Story" one weekend. This is the result.
Author's Note 3: This takes place a couple weeks before Christmas 2003.
Author's Note 4: The celeb in question is not an "A-Lister" because I didn't want her to be immediately recognizable. I thought it would be more fun for the Scooby who runs across her (Xander) to have to try to figure out where he knows her from.
** ** **
Xander Harris pushed the talk button on his walkie and sang. "Sittin' in the morning sun, I'll be sittin' when the evening comes. Watching the ships roll in, then I watch 'em roll away again. I'm just sitting on the dock of a bay, wasting time." He let go of the button and smiled, waiting for the inevitable response.
The walkie chirped at him and Faith's voice issued forth. "Damn, X, you sound like hell."
"In the immortal words of Danny Glover, 'I'm getting too old for this shit.'" Truth be told, the man with the missing eye was only 22. Life on the front lines of a Hellmouth, however, could wear down even the most resilient of spirits.
"Been too many years, hasn't it?"
"Seven years, Faith. Seven years and not one break. Not one vacation. Not a hint of R & R. What I wouldn't give for some downtime." He tapped his fingers on the chair's armrest as a Def Leppard song blared from the speakers.
"Yeah, a couple months where the days are long and the nights ain't sounds real good right now. See anything?"
"Nah. Still looking."
"Chirp me if you find some."
"'Kay."
Xander stretched, gave a yawn and settled back in his chair. Slightly more than two weeks left 'til Christmas and was he shopping, decorating or even - Heaven have mercy on his listeners - caroling? Was he dashing through the snow in a one-horse open sleigh? Of course not. No, Xander Harris was sitting in a plush chair on a balcony overlooking the dance floor of a nightclub in Cleveland playing bird dog for Faith as she stalked and staked the members of the vamp gang who'd been preying on this club the past week. Every time he spotted one from his perch, he'd beep her on those new walkies they'd fallen in love with just a couple weeks before, give her the vamp's location and watch her take it out.
He had to admit her technique was flawless. She'd dance up behind a vampire, wait until its dance partner/potential dinner turned away for even the tiniest fraction of a second and then - POOF! Bye bye, bloodsucker. Stealth slaying. Very impressive.
He clicked the walkie. "Might wanna check the DJ for vamp status when you get back," he said. "Playing 80s hair metal in a night club when it ain't even 80s night is not a good sign. Better than being down with Mister Migraine from what they've been playing, but still with the ugh-age. Know what I'm gonna do when we get home?"
"Have fun with yourself while you think about how hot I look doing this?"
"Houston, Tranquility Base. The Ego has landed."
The sound of Faith's laughter floated through the walkie's speaker and Xander smiled just a little. "Seriously, the second we get home I'm gonna toss back some Advil, pop Bocephus in my Discman and try to forget ever hearing 90 percent of this junk tonight."
"Bo Duke? I didn't know they sang on that show."
"Oh, don't even try to tell me you don't know who I'm talking about."
She laughed again. "Yeah, I know who he is. Makes my inner rebel get all tingly."
"Oh, so that's what you call it." A friendly quiet descended. It had been a difficult night when Faith had finally found the strength to speak to him about what had passed between them. A long, strained, wearying and difficult night. Nonetheless successful for its exhausting nature, it had led to a comfort zone they could both relish.
Scanning the dance floor, he spotted a couple of fledgeling vamps too young, stupid and hungry to keep from slipping in and out of game face every couple of seconds. He chirped at Faith. "Two fledges headed your way. Male and female. Easy kills, a few reindeer short of a sleigh team."
"I see them. Bit of a crowd here. I'll lure them out and take them there."
His eye wandered the floor again as conscious thinking fled from him, leaving only a hunter's instincts. It hadn't always been this way. Contrary to the popular opinion of those who thought they knew him, he was never empty-headed. Whether pondering the best comment to lift morale and lighten a dark moment or deciding how to best protect his friends without their knowledge, his mind had always been active. Now, less than seven months after the destruction of Sunnydale, seven months after the battle with the First, seven months after Anya's death, thought faded all too easily. All that remained were the subconscious patterns of the hunt. The ability, with just a glance, to size up body language, style of clothing and, when close enough, antiquated speech patterns. Each had their place. Each taking the barest fraction of a second.
He blinked, having spotted something that kickstarted his mind. "Hello," he said out loud, "didn't I see you boys in yesterday's obituaries?"
Three vamps stalking...who? Slipping back into hunting mode, Xander checked the crowd in and around the area they were moving through. Taking into account the fixated staring of the vampires, he identified their targets, a couple who appeared to be in their late 20s/early 30s. Blonde woman in a shiny blue latex top that emphasized her mildly oversized implants and a mid-thigh denim skirt whose companion was a sandy-haired man wearing a long-sleeve t-shirt and jeans. Couple of tattoos on the lower parts of her legs. Nothing he could really make out at this distance. The couple looked to be making their way to the exit on the opposite side of the club from Faith.
Xander pushed the walkie's talk button. "Picard to Enterprise. Status report, Number One."
"Bimbo and Himbo are still playing 'follow-the-Slayer.' Problem, X?"
"Got three yutzes in plaid flannel stalking a couple on the other side of the building. I'm going in."
"Hey, X."
"Yeah?"
"Be careful."
"Didn't you get the memo about my new name? I'm now officially Mr. Down-With-The-Caution."
"Okay, then be VERY careful."
"Smartass."
He got out of his chair and flowed towards the fire escape doors, curving his lips up a fraction. Having Giles and Robin convince the club's owner to let them case the place out during the daylight hours was definitely proving to be one of his better ideas. A quick glance back at the dance floor before he opened the door showed that his prey's prey was still headed for the side exit. He would beat both the couple and the vamps into the alley with ease.
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