Spike rolled into the living room of the Mansion and tossed a flier at Angelus. "Here. I think we should do this."
Angelus picked up the paper and started to read it. Suddenly, he began to laugh hysterically. " You must be kidding?!" He studied Spike's deadly serious face and said incredulously, "Counseling? You think we should get counseling?"
"You think we shouldn't? This is one dysfunctional dynamic we have going on here. Besides, Dru is backing me up on this one."
"Sure. And what did you tell her it was?"
"Ummm…actually, I promised to get her a cat."
"You mean, you bribed her. Whatever." Angelus turned back to his reading. Spike rolled around in front of him.
"Now listen, Mr. I'll-give-Dru-a-heart-on-Valentine's-Day-just-to-upstage-Spike, we are going to go to a counselor whether you like it or not! Maybe not this one, but one."
" Fine, if all you're gonna do is nag about it, I'll humor you."
"Good. Now, I'll call Dru in here and we'll pick our therapist."
"Isn't that a game show?"
* * *
Angelus was still sitting in his chair. Spike and Dru were beside him. Dru was sitting on Spike's lap, and it was all he could do to stop himself from…well…letting both of them know that things below his waist worked. But no, he was gonna wait. He was gonna stand up at the worst possible time for Angelus, and if he could whack the Slayer around a bit while he was at it, so much the better. He looked at the two of them. They couldn't possibly be as dense as they seemed. The scar had disappeared, and neither of them had even thought about the rest of his injuries. Although he did catch Dru looking at him funny a few times-- but back to the business at hand.
"Here's family counseling." Angelus pointed at a page in the phone book he was holding. " Mate, I am not your family."
" Oh, look, ferrets."
" That wouldn't work, pet, cats eat ferrets."
" Really? All up? Can I get a ferret, too?" She clapped her hands.
"Here's marriage counseling."
Spike looked at his hands, then made a big show of looking at the others'. " Well, we seem to be marriage-free right now."
"We could change that…Dru, will you…" Angelus took her hand and began to kneel. Switching to his game face, Spike backed up in his chair.
"Don't even. Chair or not, I would stake you in your sleep. And smile as I did it."
" Don't fight," Dru commanded in a teasing voice. She turned around and shrieked. " Oh! You're all horrid." He quickly switched back.
"Sorry, luv. I forgot. Give me the damn book." He snatched the phone book from Angelus and paged through it rapidly. " There: Sarah Page, group counseling and therapist. We're a group. Now get us an appointment. And for god sakes, make it after sundown."
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