ILLUMINATIONS FROM HEAVEN
Willow ran out the room with Kennedy not far behind her. No one could blame her for leaving. Buffy just stared at Faith as she continued to stand there in the middle of the office. It looked like Buffy wanted to say something, but she was unsure of what to say in the situation. Xander just looked bewildered. Benny took Faith by the arm and put her in a chair. Benny knew that it had been hard for Faith to tell them about her experience with Tara and the information that Tara had given her. Benny was acting like she was Faith’s new big sister. The notion and the gestures weren’t lost on Buffy. Buffy totally understood what Benny was doing, because she did the same thing with Dawn.
“What are you trying to do?” Buffy asked.
“That isn’t fair, Buffy, and you know it,” Benny replied.
“No, Benny, she is right to ask. I have no idea what it going Buffy,” Faith explained, “I don’t know why Tara chose me. All I know is what she told me. I am not trying to hurt anyone. But, Benny is right. She was right that I need to tell you all now and not wait. Who knows what would have happened if I had waited?”
“So you’ve told us everything?” Buffy questioned.
“Yes, I have told you everything. I told you everything that Tara told me and did to me in my car earlier this morning. To tell you the truth, I didn’t want to believe it myself. But, for some reason, Tara came to me to give the information about the nest. I listened to her and watched the nest,” Faith answered.
“And then, you what? What did you do after that?” Xander asked and then stated, “Because you certainly didn’t come back here to tell us about it.”
“I went out. I was still reeling from the fact that Tara came to me. I was still trying to accept the fact that she was real and not the First with some sort of new game. I couldn’t fathom why she would choose me over Willow and I still can’t. I can’t shake that. I begged her to go to Willow, but she said she didn’t have time in order to do that. She kept telling me that she only time to tell me about the nest. She did so and left. Don’t you think that it upsets me that Tara came to me and not to Willow? It hurts me to hurt anyone of you,” Faith stated.
“I don’t know if I can believe that,” Buffy responded.
“Has she given you a reason for you not to trust her?” Benny asked.
“Yes, actually, she has,” Buffy answered.
“That was a long time ago, Buffy. I haven’t done anything to cause you to believe that I would be disloyal to you now. Remember, I didn’t ask to the head slayer and lead them into a trap. I was thrust into that position. I might have questioned your ideas and your tactics, but I never questioned your leadership qualities. I didn’t want to hurt anyone. We can’t survive as a family of slayers if we can’t trust each other. Buffy, I know that this is hard to believe, but it is the truth,” Faith replied.
“I don’t know if I can believe you. I know what you have done and I know what you haven’t done with us. I know that I should trust you, but I know your past. I know what you are capable of doing if I let you go your way,” Buffy stated.
“I know what you mean. I have done some horrible things that I am not proud of, like trying to kill you on countless occasions. But, Buffy, I am not the same person. I have changed. I know that doesn’t help ease your mind, but it is all I can give you. I can’t make you trust me. I can only hope that you will,” Faith answered.
“I don’t know how you can prove it any more than you already have by fighting next to me in Sunnydale. I just wish that there was some way that you would trust me more. I wish that you would trust us enough to know that we actually care about what happens. I know that we have enough hatred of each other to change the course of this war with the First, but we also have enough hatred of the First for us to be banded together in a mutual hatred. We have to stay together. You have to tell us everything that happens that might be of some use, no matter how much you think that it will hurt some of us. We have to know about it all,” Buffy explained, “Can you do that?”
“I thought that was what I was doing tonight. I will tell you what I can, when I can. I am your friend now, and a slayer that is a part of this family of slayers. I am here to help in anyway that I can. I am a sworn sister to our cause of stopping the First. I am not willing to waiver from it, in any way except for death,” Faith answered.
“I think that answers my question,” Buffy stated.
“I am not sure that I have, but I am willing to prove myself any way you ask. I am willing to do what you ask of me. I am yours to command now, Buffy,” Faith said.
“We’ll find out. I am going with you to the nest tonight. I want to see what Tara thought was so important to come back and tell you about it,” Buffy replied.
Faith felt bad and decided that a shower would make her feel better. She gathered her stuff. She started the water for an extremely warm bath. She undressed and got in it.
She could feel the warmth bath melting her tension away. The water ran over her like a warm blanket.
“Faith, I need to talk to you,” Willow stated through the bathroom door.
Faith’s head spun up in the waterfall from the shower head. She stared at the bathroom tiled wall. She let the water continue run down her back, as she leaned against the wall on her hands.
“Faith, please. I want to talk to you,” Willow stated again, at the door.
Faith laid against the wall and sighed. She didn’t know what to say that would appease Willow and what she wanted to know. She leaned out the shower and talked to Willow through the door. She turned off the shower.
“What do you want me to say?” Faith asked.
“I just want to talk about what happened between you and Tara. Please. I need to you to do this for me,” Willow replied.
“I don’t know what you want to know. I can’t give you all the answers you are looking for about Tara,” Faith responded.
“Please. Faith, I have never asked you for much, please just do this for me,” Willow was begging.
“Fine. I’ll be out in minute. Let me get dressed and I’ll be out,” Faith answered.
“I’ll be in the office waiting for you there,” Willow said walking down the hall.
Faith turned the water back on. She wasn’t sure that she was ready to sit and talk with Willow alone. Faith wasn’t sure that she would ever be ready to sit and talk with any of the Scoobies on a one-on-one. Faith wasn’t a simple character and everyone there knew that. Faith let the water run over her again. She slowly let all her worries leave her and wash them away.
After a few minutes, she finally turned the water off and decided to get out the shower. She dried off and changed into something that she felt more comfortable in. She left the cotton and tight shirt cling to here. The jeans that she had selected were more like the old Faith, which meant it was still comfortable for Faith to wear. They were perfect for Faith. She stood back from the mirror and smiled. She could see that the old Faith was looking back at her with a new hair cut, but she could smile at it. The old Faith was at odds with the world, but Faith had grown up in a few short weeks since Sunnydale. She was ready to prove that she was a productive member of society while being a slayer.
She walked down the hall. Her hair was still wet and combed back. She looked like a female greaser from the fifties, but it was her new look with her new attitude. Willow was studying some texts when Faith came in the room. Willow looked up at Faith as she came in and sat down at the table near her.
“I am sorry about all of this, but I knew that I had to tell you about it,” Faith stated as she sat down.
“I understand why you did want to tell us about it. I do appreciate the fact that you did have the courage to tell me about it,” Willow replied looking right at her.
“What did you want to tell you about it? What is it that you want to know?” Faith questioned Willow, “I mean what is it that you really want to know?”
“I want to know what she told you. I want to know if she is happy where she is. I want to know so much, but I am not sure that you can tell me what I want to know, Faith. I am not sure that I want to know either,” Willow answered.
“She did say that she loved you. She said something about seeing you in your dreams because she didn’t want to hurt you anymore than she did with her death. She loves you so much, Willow. She said that she watches you and protects you,” Faith explained, “She wants you to be happy. She has accepted that you have moved on and she happy for you.”
Willow’s eyes started tearing up. Faith could see how the news affected Willow. She didn’t know what she should continue with. Faith wasn’t sure what to say next.
“She took me to a nest on the outskirts of town. It is a club. It is run by some vamps and they called it the ‘Bloody Spike.’ Buffy and I plan to take it out tonight. She said that she would come back and tell me more when she had the power to do so. I can’t say when or where that will be, Willow. Please don’t see me as some sort of medium for you and Tara. She wouldn’t want that. She knows that you love her, Will, leave it at that, please, for both of your sakes,” Faith begged her.
“What do you mean that she would be back when she had more power? I don’t understand that, can you explain that better for me?” Willow asked.
“I don’t know that I can explain this to you. It seems that she is alive again, maybe even an angel, but I don’t know. She, it seems, can only show herself for a limited time. She must use a lot of power to show herself like a person, not just an illusion. I think it takes great pains for her to show herself,” Faith explained.
“Great pains?” Willow asked.
“Not like pain, like hurtful pain, but it takes a lot of energy for her to materialize, like flesh here on Earth from wherever it is that she is now,” Faith stated.
“Oh. I just don’t understand why she would choose you over all of us to show herself to. Can you tell me that one, Faith? I just would like to know,” Willow said.
“I know, and that I cannot answer. I don’t know. I asked her why she didn’t come to you about it, but she just kept saying that she didn’t have a lot of time and that she had to tell me about the club. I let her tell me about it. Then, while I was checking the place out in my car, she disappeared. I never had a real chance to actually talk to her. I did manage to tell her that she should come to you,” Faith answered.
“Thank you, Faith. Thank you for telling me everything that you know about it all and what happened between you and Tara. You don’t know what this means to me. It means a lot that you would actually come forward and tell me about it. I appreciate that. Please just do me one favor,” Willow responded.
“What is that?” Faith inquired.
“If she comes back to you and tells you anything, please come to me and tell me about it,” Willow replied.
“I think that I can do that, but you have to promise one thing and I will hold you to it. I want you to promise that you won’t try and bring her back. Willow, you have to continue on with your life now with Kennedy. You must let Tara rest in peace. Do you think that you can do that?” Faith questioned.
“I will. I understand what you are saying. I need to continue with the path that I am on. I still love Tara and I always will, but I love Kennedy as well. My life is with Kennedy now and I will make it with her as best that I can considering I love a slayer. I understand what that means. I will let Tara rest in peace. I only wish that I could talk to her every now and again,” Willow answered.
“I understand. If she comes back to me, I will tell her to come and talk to you if and when she can,” Faith replied.
“Are you ready to go?” Buffy asked Faith as they prepared to go take care of the nest. Buffy was standing next to Faith’s Porsche with a bag of slayer tools in hand.
“Yeah, I am ready. I need to do this for more then one reason,” Faith stated.
“You don’t really have to prove your loyalty to me. I just wish that you would have told us where you were going last night. I mean with the First and all, it was kinda scary knowing that you weren’t going to be by our sides when the crap hit the fan. I mean I kinda take it for granted that you are next to me on the battlefield, sometimes. It is just nice to know that there is someone who’s got my back every now and again,” Buffy said.
“I know what you mean. I am sorry. I was just sort of out of it. I was totally not ready for patrol last night. When you and Kennedy were talking about slaying two vamps, it got to me. It was totally because I was out there with me guard down. I was totally being cocky about it all. I’ll admit that Benny and I were lost in conversation but that doesn’t excuse the fact that we weren’t really there mentally for patrol last night,” Faith stated as they got in the car and got underway, “We were both mentally tired.”
“What was up with that? If I can ask?” Buffy asked.
“I am not sure,” Faith.
“Okay, I’ll let that one go. But, I do have one more question. It is kinda personal, but I am going to ask it anyway. You don’t really have to answer me, but I would like it if you would. I just have to know: what is up with you and Benny, anyway?” Buffy questioned Faith.
The car almost came to a complete stop on the back road highway that they were traveling on. Faith looked completely lost. The question had blind-sided her so much that she wasn’t sure what to think about it. She just looked at Buffy blindly.
“Did I lose you with that one?” Buffy asked.
“No, you didn’t lose me. I am just wondering where you came up with it?”
“Well, sorry, I have just been noticing that you and Benny have been spending a lot of time together. I mean she has been defending you when we kinda gang up on you while we are talking about stuff. I mean it is just little stuff between the two of you. I am sorry if I offended you, but I am just wondering. I understand if you don’t want to answer. I mean I understand that I kinda put you on the spot with it,” Buffy stated.
“I am just amazed that you would ask that. I am sooo not into the girl-girl thing. I mean I was just wondering how you could ask that when you know who’ve I done. I mean Xander and Wood were like in the Scoobies. I just can’t believe that you would ask me that. I am Benny’s friend and that is all. We are like sisters if anything. I mean that we understand each other considering that we kinda had the same mental motivations in our slayage and our lives. We just fit,” Faith explained.
“That’s cool. I understand that. I am not judging, but I was just wondering like I said. I am glad that you found someone that you could hang with like a sister,” Buffy stated, “I am just happy that we have found a place that we can just deal with the slayer thing, together, and work everything out again. I can’t wait until Giles arrives.”
“Giles? When is he coming?” Faith asked.
“He is supposed to call Willow and tell her when he is supposed to be leaving Heathrow and when he is supposed to be landing in the states. She didn’t tell me anything about it before we left,” Buffy answered and then she asked her own question, “How much further up this road is it?”
“Not far,” Faith answered.
“Wait for it, Faith,” Tara stated materialized in the car.
“Wait for what Tara?” Faith asked and Buffy turned to see her behind them.
“I will tell you when to go,” Tara answered.
“What the-“ Buffy started.
“I don’t have time to explain. Just wait until I tell you to go. I don’t want waste any of my energy,” Tara explained.
“I talked to Willow today, Tara. She still loves you, but she still wants to talk to you if you would appear to her. She understands that she has to let you rest in peace and continue to be with Kennedy. She just can’t understand and I must admit that I can’t either why you choose me,” Faith stated.
“It was a matter of chance. You happened to be in the right frame of mind, in the right place and at the right time. I was just hoping that one of you would be able to see me and before this place when nuts,” Tara replied.
Tara reached out to Buffy touching her cheek as Buffy continued to stare at Tara. Buffy’s questioning eyes quieted. Buffy seemed to relax and was at peace. It was a feeling that wasn’t lost her. It gave Buffy the knowledge that Tara was in a better place.
“I know what Spike did for you. I know what he gave up and I understand what he felt. He was proud of you. He was very proud of you. He still loves you, Buffy,” Tara told her, “I know that is hard to move on, but you have to continue you work as a slayer because only you can keep everything going in the direction that it is to keep everyone alive and slaying. You are the glue that binds every slayer in the common goal of stopping the First. Don’t stop what you are doing. The Watcher and Slayer U is a good idea and it has the power of good behind it. I guarantee it.”
“But, how is it possible?” Buffy asked.
“With a little faith, hope and love, everything is possible, Buffy,” Tara replied.
“Don’t give me that religious crap. How is it that you can do what you do?” Buffy asked, “How come you can appear to us? You are dead aren’t you?”
“No offense, Buffy, but shut up and pay attention to things that are bigger than you. That nest should be your main concern at the moment and not me. I am here because the powers that be decided that I could come here to you and nothing more. Quit trying to analyze it,” Tara demanded, “Faith, there are too many vampires in there for just the two of you. Isn’t there anyway that you could get Benny and Kennedy here and fast? I don’t mean to sound pessimistic, but they aren’t really friendly, you know.”
“I know what you mean, but I think that I can handle this, with Buffy’s help of course. I am not leaving now that I am here. I came to take it out and that is exactly what I plan on doing. If you didn’t think that I could do, why didn’t you stop me before we got all the way up here?” Faith questioned.
“I was just making sure that you hadn’t lost your nerve. I needed to know that you were absolutely going to go in there and kick major vampire ass,” Tara answered.
“Well, I wish that everyone would just stop testing my loyalty and such. It is getting a little nerve racking. I am here to slay. Anyone that has a problem with that, besides the vampires I am about to kill, please say something now or forever hold you peace,” Faith commanded.
“Nope, no problem from me,” Buffy said.
“I have one thing for you,” Tara said, “It is something that I wish to give you.”
Tara leaned forward towards Faith. She raised both hands and placed them on both sides of Faith’s face. Tara began to glow and Faith’s eyes lit up. Buffy leaned away from them both in shock.
“It is knowledge that you will need tonight in order to defeat the nest,” Tara started as the light between them got brighter and then she continued, “It is something that Willow and I were working on a long time ago. I finally got it perfected.”
The light grew to a blinding and piercing, brilliant white, before it faded into nothing. Buffy and Faith were both amazed by this searing light. Tara sat back in the car, leaning into the seat in pure exhaustion. They stared at Tara unknowing of what to say or do, now.
“It will help you in the coming battle,” Tara stated, “It will help you when you are outnumbered a great deal. It is a way of making things even, but more towards the side of good. Don’t forget what I have just given you, Faith. It will save your life.”
“But, Tara, I don’t understand. What did you do to me?” Faith asked.
“I taught you a spell. There isn’t much more to understand about it, than that. I taught you a spell. Use is wisely and it will be effective, use is foolishly and it will not. The choice is yours, but you must maintain your energy because it will sap you if you use it too much. That is why it is important that Buffy is here tonight. It might actually drain you the first time, but each time after that it, you will notice less and less of your energy being used,” Tara explained.
“What?” Buffy questioned.
“I know that this is hard to understand and even fathom, but it is the only hope that I can give you, now. You must use the spell wisely. You must fight in pairs until it no longer affects your energy,” Tara replied.
“Tara, what if it doesn’t work?” Faith asked.
“It will. You have to trust me on that one,” Tara stated, “I have to go.”
“Tara, wait!” Buffy exclaimed.
“I can’t. My time here is done. Good luck tonight, you’ll need it,” Tara answered and was gone.
They both stared at each other. Faith no longer felt like she was crazy for seeing her the first time. Now, Faith knew that she had a witness that Tara had come back in some sort of angelic form to help them battle the demons and such. Buffy seemed confused, but ready for the fight that would ensue very soon.
“Ready?” Faith asked.
“As I’ll ever be, after that,” Buffy replied.
“Then, let’s go kick some vampiric ass, B,” Faith stated.
“Right behind you, with my bag of tricks,” Buffy answered as they exited the car and walked up the hill a little ways to the club.
They knew that weren’t invited. They didn’t care. They were going to crash this party and this club. They were going to take down this nest of vampires tonight. And now, they knew that they had a secret weapon that would help them do it.
Willow sat in the library. She was looking up angelic accounts. She wanted to make sense of what Faith had told her about Tara. She wanted some sort of peace knowing that Tara was happy and at peace wherever she was, now. She had her cell near by her, in case anyone had to call her while they were all out on patrol. She was so deep in her research that she didn’t even notice when Xander came in.
“Will?” Xander questioned.
Willow just continued to sit there, but she did turn the page in the book that she was reading. Xander looked over onto the table to see what Willow was so engrossed in that she couldn’t answer him. He wasn’t sure what the book was really about, but she was reading about angels and angelic meetings.
“Will?” Xander asked, “Willow, earth to willow. Hello, Will.”
“Huh?” Willow replied, “What is it, Xander?”
“Whatcha doing?” Xander inquired.
“Just looking at some stuff. Did something happen?” Willow replied.
“No, just got bored down stairs by myself,” Xander stated, “I thought I would come up here and see what you were doing. I thought that I might be able to help you in some way. You know, with the First’s illusions, and all, I thought that maybe I could do the research thing with you.”
“Okay, but I don’t know what you can look up for me. I am researching angels right now. I want to make sure that the apparition that Faith saw was a good one and possibly an angel like she supposed it was. I just want us to be ready for anything that might come our way,” Willow answered.
“Is that it? Or, is there something else driving you to do this?” Xander asked.
“I don’t know what you mean, Xander,” Willow replied.
“I think that you do. I think that you want it to be Tara. You want it to be Tara so that you can let it go. I think you want to be Tara so you can figure out a way to bring her back, so that you can bring her back to atone for your sins. You can’t do that, Willow. You have to let it go. You are with Kennedy, now, remember?” Xander stated.
“I am not trying to bring her back. I just want to make sure that she happy wherever she is and that she isn’t some evil thing luring us into traps,” Willow replied.
“I just don’t want you getting hurt, again, Willow. You know I love you. But, I almost lost you last time. I don’t know if I can bring you back again,” Xander stated.
“You won’t have to worry about that. I am not planning on going all vein-y again. I just want to make sure that this is Tara trying to help us and not kill us,” Willow answered as her cell phone went off next to her.
“Hello,” Willow stated into the phone.
“Willow, it is Dawn. We just made into the States and we should be heading towards you sometime tonight. Giles is having a slight communication problem with the ticket lady at the counter. It seems that he tried to make reservations on the internet, and without my help, so who knows when we will actually get there,” Dawn told Willow from some airport in the Continental US.
“Do you need my help with it? I could fix it up in no time on the net. When did he try and make the reservations for you all to leave?” Willow asked.
“I think in about two hours or so. There is a flight from here to Cleveland in a few hours. I think he was hoping for that one, but for some reason we can’t fly on that one, but have to wait for the next which is at nine a.m. He doesn’t want to wait,” Dawn answered.
Willow could hear Giles in the background yelling at the poor ticket counter lady. He was trying to make his point, but she wouldn’t budge because of what the computer was telling her for the both of them and the flight times.
“Hold on a minute, Dawn. Who are you flying with?” Willow asked.
“Umm…looks like Delta.” Dawn answered.
Willow opened her laptop and got on the net, quickly. She began surfing the net. She found Delta’s site and began going through it. She found a back way into their computer systems to the flight reservations and found Giles’ tickets.
“It looks like he forgot to confirm them. Let me do that for you and then tell him to calmly ask the ticket counter lady to look again, okay. Give just a sec,” Willow stated as she continued to type and scan the website.
“Okay, Will, just tell me when,” Dawn replied.
Willow was furiously working toward the goal of the tickets. She found them and got them reserved on the night flight.
“Go ahead,” Willow told Dawn.
She could hear Giles ask the lady one more time and amazingly the tickets were there. The lady told Giles that she would be happy to process his and Dawn’s lugguage now for the coming flight. Willow heard Giles ask the woman what time they would be landing in Cleveland so that their family could come and pick them up. The ticket lady said it would be around eleven p.m. since it was a two hours flight. The lady then handed them the tickets and wished them a good flight.
“Thanks, Will, it worked. Wait, a second, Giles wants to talk to you,” Dawn said as she handed Giles the cell phone.
“I don’t know what you did, Willow, but thank you. Those bloody machines are so bloody difficult to use,” Giles told her.
“Your welcome,” Willow replied, trying to stiffle a laugh, “Xander and I should be there around eleven to pick you up.”
“Thanks, again. Dawn it seems has something terribly important to tell you. Hold on a minute, Dawn. Good-bye, Willow. See you in Cleveland,” Giles stated.
“Hey, Will, got anything cool to show me when we get there? I mean, anything going down that I should ready to work on? I am sooo ready to do the research thing. It was sooo boring in England. Way to old for me to deal with, so got anything?” Dawn questioned a little bit too excitedly.
“Slow down, little bit. I think I might have one or two things that you can work on when you get here. Until then, stay sane and don’t let Giles use the net anymore. We’ll see you at the airport,” Willow replied.
“Okay, good-bye then,” Dawn answered.
“Good-bye, Dawn,” Willow responded.
Faith and Buffy entered the club. They were ready for anything. Faith grabbed Buffy by her hand and dragged her to the bar. Faith thought that it would be better if the vampires thought that they were together. Then they would pray on them both and not as separate people. That is what Faith wanted. She wanted to lure them into her trap.
“I’ll take a vodka straight,” Faith told the bar tender.
Faith and Buffy both checked out the bars stock. They both looked at each other when they saw that the bar was stocked with blood and booze. It was the perfect place for people to run into vampires.
“Hey, I am counting about twenty vamps just here at the bar,” Buffy stated to Faith under her breath.
“I know. I am seeing about twenty more over there,” Faith said, “Let’s go dance, and see what we can see from the dance floor.”
“Sounds good. It looks like there are over a hundred vampires in here. I haven’t seen a nest that big since the hole in Sunnydale,” Buffy stated as they made their way onto the floor and found a spot to dance.
“How many do you think that you can take out?” Faith asked.
“I dunno, but not all of them. How about you?” Buffy retorted.
“I could probably do about twenty of them before I got tired. But, I was thinking of unleashing Tara’s spell. Close your eyes, Buffy,” Faith stated and then began to shout to the crowd, “If your mortal, I suggest you leave. If not, hang around. ILLUMIN ILLUMIN KALA ILLUMIN…LET THE SUN SHINE IN!”
Faith watched as light poured from her into the bar. It was the brillant light that Faith had ever seen. She looked down and noticed that Buffy was hugging her legs and buried into them so that the light wouldn’t blind Buffy eyes. The light grew and grew brighter and brighter. It was a searing and blinding. From what Faith could see, the vamps were all burning away like they were on fire or exposed in the sun.
“We’ve got to go, Giles. No time to explain,” Willow stated to them at the airport. She helped him and Dawn by grabbing some of their luggauge.
“What happened?” Giles asked, very concerned.
“I am not sure, but Xander said it was bad. Faith it seems is blind. She did some sort of spell and it killed an entire vampire nest, but she went blind in the process. Buffy was holding on to her when it all happened. She is fine, but we need to go.”
“I need to see them both. Hurry, take me to them,” Giles replied.
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