Buffy sat on her bed looking out the window. She was in her room and staring at the stars. She looked at all of them; they are as white as his hair she thought silently to herself. She had loved Spike and he had never known. She felt a tear glide swiftly down her face past her nose and she wiped it away with her thin delicate hand. This made her think of Spike and how he use to make all her tears go away with just a touch of his cool muscular hand. She thought of all the other things he did with those hands, and his other more masculine parts, her body quivering at the thought.
She could almost feel his cool lips pressed against hers, and how their bodies molded perfectly together. And when their naked skin touched neither of them could stand the lust and passion. The thought of that made her cry because she knew that she could never experience any sexual act better than she had with Spike. She remembered how Spike had made sweet love to her and how she uses to fall asleep in his arms. This was the only time she felt completely human and together.
He would always make her feel butterflies in her stomach and clouds under her feet by just looking at her. But she had to go to bed every night knowing that he was never coming back.
Even though they hadn’t made love that past year some nights he would hold her and that is when she felt truly close to him. But when he was burning up in the heart of the hell mouth wearing Angel’s amulet she knew that she truly loved him; that he was her soul mate. But her soul mate had died to save the world and her world was shattered into a million pieces and it was never going to be put back together because Spike was never coming back
Then as she thought of Spike she fell asleep pretended that his muscular arms were around her and his hands were caressing her golden-blond hair and sun kissed skin. As she dreamt of these things Buffy fell into a low peaceful slumber.
As Buffy saw the sun peering though the windows of her blue beaded curtains she thought of what she had to do in the say coming. She had to get Dawn off to school, cook, playbills, clean, and many other things she would think of through the day. Keeping moving and doing stuff around the house was the only way that Buffy repressed some of her hurt emotions about Spike in the publicity of all her friends. But she couldn’t think about that now. She also had to go to the post office and see if something she had ordered came in.
As she slipped out of bed and into her red terrycloth robe she looked at her clock; it read 6:30 and she thought of how she had to wake Dawn up in a half of an hour to go to school. She opened the door to her new room in England and walked down the hallway of her recently new home. Their were still boxes everywhere and the walls were bare. Whenever she looked at the walls in the hallway; they made her depressed about how empty and white they were.
But today when she looked at them she saw pictures flashing before her eyes of Spikes head, and then the amulet. It was almost sort of a premonition that was a clue into telling her something. She thought she was just plain crazy so she shook it off and walked down the hallway into the bathroom.
As she turned on the water really hot she let the bathroom steam up and she took off all her clothing. She looked at herself naked in the mirror and she winced. She was very skinny; she looked anorexic. She wasn’t but every since Spike went away food had never been that appealing to her. She also had bruises all over her body that didn’t heal as fast now-a-days because of her decreased weight and vulnerability. Then she took a look at her left had. The hand that had third degree burns on it from her last few minutes with Spike in the heart of the Hell mouth. They had joined hands and both their hands lit up with flame. When ever she looked at her left hand it always made her think of Spike and her last few moments with him. She thought that the fire that ignited their hands represented the hard fiery passion of their relationship.
As she stepped into the hot steamy shower, she let the hot water pound down on her head. She wanted to drown all her feelings away and start over from scratch. As she washed herself with a loofah drenched in vanilla body scrub she smelled it and this made her think of spike because this is the scrub she used when they had first ‘made love’. She broke into tears at the thought and fell down in the shower. She must have made a very loud bang because the second later Xander was at her side. He had heard her cries from in his room and he knew something was wrong. Buffy said “One sec Xand, just let me get decent in a muffled cry. He quickly left and she jumped out of the shower and hoped in her robe. She then asked Xander if she could talk to him.
She told him about how much she knew that Spike was her soul mate and how she missed him so dearly. Xander listened intently and she knew he understood because he had lost Anya in the final battle as well. He never talked of Anya but Buffy knew that he missed her dearly. (Due to the many pictures of her in his room). As she was spilling her heart out to him, she glanced up at the clock and noticed it was 7:20.
“Oh shit” she said to herself. She was supposed to have gotten Dawn up already. She then thanked Xander for talking with her and ran in Dawns room. Her bed was neatly made and her book bag was gone. Buffy then quickly got dressed and walked through the hallway on her way down stair. The walls were blank in this hallway, pure white. Buffy was just staring at them as images seemed to flash on the walls. Of Spike, the amulet, and him coming out of the amulet. Buffy shook it off thinking it was just her subconscious and went downstairs and saw Dawn at the table eating a bowl of cereal and reading the newspaper.
“Oh good” Buffy said. “Your up. “
“Yeah,” said Dawn ‘I got up on my own.” “I heard you crying Buffy, is it about Spike? Are you ok” “You need to talk”
“No I am ok” said Buffy not really meaning it. “You should get to school” she said.
“Yeah Xanders waiting outside, I will see you after school, love you.” She got up and kissed her sister on the cheek then grabbed her bookbag and walked out the door. Buffy was now alone.
Later that morning Buffy walked and the front door and into her broken down car she had gotten from a used car place. Buffy had actually gotten her license because she needed it to drive Dawn places. She was on her way to the post office to see if any packages were in for her. As she was driving she thought of how Xander was such a good friend to have listened to her despite him hating Spike. She knew she could always count on him to do anything for her.
As she stopped in front of the post office and got out of her car, she then walked in the building. She asked the woman at the desk if there were any packages in under the name “Summers” The woman checked on her computer and then went in the back to get the packages that were there for Buffy. There were two. One was a Barnes and Nobel box containing her new Danielle Steel Book and the other was a red bow, with just her name and address on it no return address. She then got in the car and drove home, waiting till then to open her packages.
When she got home she opened her new book and then sat it on the table she then looked at the other package and began to open it. Inside she could not believe what she was seeing it was the Amulet that Spike wore in the final battle of the hell mouth. And then there was a blank red card inside wrote “Lovicious” on it. She said “Lovicious in a puzzled tone and then found herself becoming weepy again about spike. After she said that work bright lights started coming out of the amulet and there before her like an angel stood spike. And at that moment Buffy fainted.
Thanks spikelover6661 for your review!!!! Hope you like the new chapter. Everyone I promise Spuffy in the next chapter!!!!
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