A/N: I made a mistake on this chapter I only put half of it so...if u already read this pleez read it again its not so confusing.
Angel stood outside the summer’s house, and stared at Buffy’s window. He didn’t know how many times he had did this but he wanted to say a million. So many things that he had inside of him, were about to come out as he stared at that window. He never did this anymore, stared at the window, but now, especially that he had that… feeling, e felt that it was something he needed to do. So he stood there and let the thoughts that he had kept deep within come, slowly, out. Anger and confusion was what he felt now and he tried although a part of him wanted to, not let them out. Anger would lead to hurt, and maybe grief and that was something he didn’t want to show on his sleeve. He had to be strong, if not for himself, then for Dawn, and everyone else, especially Buffy. Showing certain emotions is not going to get her back, he thought, but it might give him some peace of mind and not make him think that he was not feeling things.
Xander had once confronted him and said that he couldn’t feel things, had no emotion. He asked ‘Why, in a time like this, are you not showing any sort of emotion?’
Angel had wanted to answer because, ‘I am not strong enough, because if I start I won’t stop, and that can’t happen’, but as Buffy once told him “Strong is fighting” and as much as he wanted to believe that, he didn’t think that once he let emotions like, grief, come out that he’d be able to let them go away or to stop brooding, as Cordelia said that he did. It would be a brood fest. So as he stood there not letting any emotion come out, he wondered, is anyone that strong?
He knew there was no simple answer for that, but Buffy came to mind. And that’s when grief came to mind and he couldn’t hold it down. He had actually done a good job of keeping it down. He also knew something was bound to come out when he had set off to standing and looking at the missing Slayer’s window. He found at times like these, few times, that he missed her the most. When she wasn’t there, when he couldn’t touch her. When he thought of would’ve happened if he stayed. He wondered if everyone was affected by the Slayer’s disappearance. Well, obviously. But were all of her friends, holding up as well as he. Hiding emotions so well? Were they strong? Was being Buffy as strong as he hoped she was? That was something he’d never know.
A/N:How did you like it? Was it good? I want to hear from you! Please Review! Tell me how you like the story, a certain part or just the chapter! Or tell me how you wished it could be different...hope there aren't many of those! So thanks for reading, and if you review I might just, I f i haven't read and review before, review your story and obviously read it, so pleez Review!
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