List of Bloody People Living in The Summers’ House: Buffy, Dawn. Spike. Jess. Xander, Anya, Willow, Tara, Jake, Andrew, Taylor, Giles, Angel, Loren, Roger, Cordelia, Fred, Gunn, Lorne, and Wesley. (For educational purposes.)
TEASER “Scared Spike”
Camera swirls madly up the stairs accompanied by mad breathing. When the camera gets to the top of the stairs, it swivels to show an out of breath Spike slamming the door.
Wesley: What’s wrong? Spike?
Spike: It’s... It’s...
Wesley: Calm down. Take a breather. Wait, what’s with the panting? You don’t even need to breath.
Spike: When... a... vampire... gets.... scared... enough... he... he.... pants...
Wesley: Whatever you say, mate.
Spike: Not... your.... mate... burke.
Wesley: That’s quite enough of your lip, man. Should I... Should I get Jess?
Spike: No... No... Just... No one go in that basement. (Points horrified to the door.)
Wesley: Why, what’s wrong with... There’s not-
Spike: Just... Just don’t. It’s Loren and Angel-
Wesley: They’re not dead are-
Spike: Lemme finish! They’re smooshing, in Ex-Demon terms.
Wesley: Oh. Why didn’t you say that? I’ll send out the message. They’re not done yet? (Spike widens his eyes and shakes his head.) I don’t think... Is that possible? Fine, I don’t really want to know. I’ll just...
Wesley exits uncomfortably and Spike follows, looking (if possible) more uncomfortable.
END TEASER
ACT ONE, SCENE ONE “Cordy Admits”
Camera enters on Cordelia and Roger sitting on the couch all alone while everyone else discusses the bill for last night’s dinner in the kitchen.
Cordelia: Man, those guys can talk forever.
Roger: Yeah, yeah they can.
Cordelia: You don’t talk a lot. How come?
Roger: Don’t really have a lot of important stuff to say. And if I did, wouldn’t waste it on people that I do, because they really don’t listen all that well.
Cordelia: True. But I still feel its a good use of my time. If it’s something truly important, they listen... Usually.
Roger: Never had a situation where I needed them to listen.
Cordelia: Are you always this boring?
Roger: Yup. I guess you could say that.
Cordelia: Well! Why don’t you jazz it up a little? Tell me about you and Loren!
Roger: Not much to tell. High school sweet hearts. Seemed destined.
Cordelia: Destined often ends in destruction.
Roger: Yeah. It wasn’t destruction so much as too much time. Wanting to have a life beyond just... Nothing. We had gotten to a point where our relationship was really not moving at all.
Cordelia: Kind of like ours.
Roger: What is that supposed to mean?
Cordelia: Do you like me?
Roger: Yeah, I guess.
Cordelia: I need more than ‘Yeah, I guess’. Roger Barker, do you like me?
Roger: Cordelia Chase, I like you. Is that better?
Cordelia: Yes. Now, Roger Barker, are you attracted to me? Tell me honestly.
Roger: This is weird.
Cordelia: I agree. But our lives are not normal. So, Roger?
Roger: Yeah. I am.
Cordelia: Roger, do you want me?
Roger: How could I not?
Cordelia: Then why not take me! Single, here! And I can say *all* the same things about *you*! So why not?
Cue THEME SONG
Roger: I didn’t... I wasn’t sure you were feeling all the same things. I wasn’t sure you would... You know... Take me when I took you.
Cordelia: That’s stupid. I would. I think... I think I am like so attracted to nerds. Roger Barker, the biggest nerd I’ve ever met, will you be my boyfriend from this moment forth until one of us can no longer stand each other?
Roger: I will. And you, Cordelia Chase, will be my girlfriend from this moment forth until one of us can no longer stand each other?
Cordelia: I will. Now that’s settled, can we get to the fun part.
Cordelia kisses Roger lightly on the lips then takes it to a make out session.
Cordelia (whispering): I love you.
Roger (whispering): Why are we whispering?
Cordelia (whispering): Because... This is for us only. We are the only ones who need to know. We’re in love, and nobody knows it.
More Roger/Cordy kissing until the scene switch.
SCENE TWO, “The Gay Ones”
Enter in Willow and Tara’s room where the two are sitting on the bed, hand in hand.
Tara: This is all confusing to me. Meeting all these people.
Willow: Yeah, I know, baby. I never knew the Fang Gang had gone so AOL for Broadband.
Tara: Everyone knows everyone. ‘Cept me.
Willow: Now that’s not true!
Tara: Feels like it, Will. I know... I’m sorry, I don’t mean to complain.
Willow: If you want to complain, baby, I’m the one person who you can complain to without judgment.
Tara: Its just... Jess, Jake, Taylor, Loren and Roger had this inner posy. And you guys knew Angel, Cordy, and Wesley before they became Fang Gangers. I mean...
Willow: I understand, baby. I do. But listen, no one is replacing you. You are the Wicca who Willa for the Scoobs. And I love you.
Tara: I know that. It’s just so hard...
Willow: Why? I mean, if you don’t know them, you can get to.
Tara: If you don’t remember, I’m a little shy.
Cue THEME SONG
Willow: So was Jess. But then she met Mister Spike and now, I can’t imagine her as shy. Aren’t I your Mister Spike?
Tara: You so are my Mister Spike. But... Well...
Willow: It doesn't matter. Kiss me! Kiss me and then *nothing* matters except knowing nothing matters!
Tara: Happy to ablidge.
Lesbian smoochies. And because I want to jazz this season up, I will make Alyson Hannigan and Amber Benson use their tongues. (eevil laughter) Scene cuts to Andrew and Jake in the back of the kitchen away from the arguing members of the group.
Andrew: Em, feels good to be alone.
Jake: Yeah. (Shifts uncomfortably.) Could you not stand so close?
Andrew: I thought-
Jake: I just mean, I’m kinda-
Andrew: I thought you were gay! I mean, I was the one-
Jake: I *am* gay, it’s just... Am I the first man you ever kissed?
Andrew: No. Maybe. Yes.
Cue THEME SONG
Jake: Are you sure-
Andrew: I’m sure, Jake. I’ve never been more sure of anything in my entire life. I *love* you. Didn’t take long for me to see it, even if we haven’t been together all that long.
Jake: Three days. Three days we’ve been together. And we’ve been together longer than that. Its feels like we’ve been together longer than that. When you live together, it makes things-
Andrew: Faster.
Jake: I was going to say more worthwhile, but faster sounds better.
Andrew: I dunno. I kind of like yours.
Jake: You would. (Crinkles nose kind of like Cordy did in “Innocence”) Now, can we get all past this? We aren’t friends. Let’s stop pretending we are, okay?
Andrew: Who’s pretending? (Kisses Jake lightly on the lips and then draw back, smiling faintly)
Jake: That’s all? What are ya? A girl? Gimme something to work with here, Sonny! (Smack Andrew on the ground and climbs utop him, leaning close to his face as he says the line. Then, gives him a *SERIOUS* smooch.
END OF SCENE
SCENE THREE, “Lorgel”
Camera swirls around a bed, with panting Loren and Angel laying there.
Loren: That was... Wow.
Angel: First time?
Loren rolls over to look at him.
Loren: And I’m glad it was with you. I’m so... (Yawns) Tired.
Cue THEME SONG
Angel: I understand. (Yawns) Oh, Loren. I love you.
Loren: Me too. Except with Loren, I replace the name Angel.
Angel: You know my real name?
Loren: Yeah, how could I forget, Liam?
Angel: Just checking. A girl doesn't really love you until she can tell you your real name.
Loren: Well, I heard, you don’t really know a girl until you can tell her your *last* name.
Angel: I... I can’t remember...
Loren: You’re just lying your ass off, Mister.
Angel: How can you tell?
Loren: It’s just a special Loren thing.
Angel: Ah, there are so many.
Loren: Waiting for you to tell me before I sprout a gray hair!
Angel: O’Riley.
Loren: Ah, that’s so common!
Angel: And Barnes isn’t?
Loren: I was talking about *your* last name, buster.
Angel: You are so Loren.
Loren: Why shouldn’t I- (Interrupted by the Angel body smooshing on her for a very passionate kiss.) Be! (More kissing)
END SCENE
SCENE FOUR, “As They Emerge From Hell”
Spike comes walking out of the kitchen loaded down with food and stumbles to the foot of the stairs to the second floor. Jessica is waiting on the steps.
Jessica: Good boy, Spike! Now speak!
Spike: Beef jerky!
Jessica: Buffy has beef jerky in her house? I never knew she was quite so Butch.
Spike: Ha ha, very funny. Here. (Tosses her Oreos)
Jessica: OREOS! MINE! (Crams one in her mouth) Do you know those Winkies on the Wizard of Oz? (Spike nods after taking a huge hunk out of a piece of beef jerky) Yeah, I use to think they said Oreo.
Spike: Don’t they?
Jessica: Uh, no, Miss Simpson.
Spike: Hey!
Loren and Angel enter from the basement, arms wrapped around each other.
Jessica: And they emerge from Hell!
Loren: That’s not nice, Spike Shagger.
Jessica: And you’re not on the bandwagon of sex before marriage?
Angel: None of your business what we do.
Spike: I wish.
Angel: What’s that supposed to mean?
Spike: I wanted to get a beer can from my fully stocked refrigerator down there, but-
Loren: Oh my God! Angel!
Angel: Calm down, one of the side effects of having to life with a pervert.
Jessica: Spike is not a... Wait, never mind.
Spike: That was kind. (Tosses a Lays bag at Jessica)
Jessica: (Catches bag) Oh, yeah. I’m the nicest person you’ll ever meet, hun. So, guys?
Angel: Yeah, we’re... We figured we’d let people... Yeah...
Loren: And we have to clean up the basement. A lot of us.
Spike: Clean up the basement? Why do we have to... Oh.
Loren (nervously laughing): Yeah, and your bed might need new sheets.
Spike: You... NO! NOT IN OUR BED-
Angel: Sorry, the sleeping bag... There were tangling issues.
Spike: But I SLEEP in that bed!
Loren: Sorry!
Jessica: Spike, babe. Time to calm down. We’ll help clean up the basement, and Spike, we can wash the sheets.
Spike: Burn them more like.
Jessica: We can’t. If we could, believe me, I would. We just don’t have enough money to waste-
Spike: It’s not a waste. It’s mandatory for our survival.
Loren: Is he ever melodramatic?
Spike: Me! You’re the one freaking out ‘cause I walked in on you!
Loren: You’re the one freaking out ‘cause we had sex in your... Wait, never mind. You have cause to freak out.
Spike: I’ll say. Can we just get to the cleaning already?
END SCENE, END OF ACT ONE
ACT TWO, SCENE FOUR, “Offering”
Basement, Angel, Loren, Jess, and Spike cleaning up the disaster zone.
Spike: Bugger this. You’re the ones who made this mess, you’re the ones who can clean it up. It’s the Slayer’s bloody house, if she wants it clean-
Angel: You want to live here, Spike?
Spike: Well, yeah. Buffy blew up my crypt, I’ll-
Angel: Well, then get cleaning. She could decide to shut you out. I seem to remember her doing that once.
Spike: You’re just mad I saw her tits.
Angel: Hey, you’re going to eat those-
Camera swivels around to Jess and Loren, cleaning.
Loren: Do those two ever get off each others cases?
Jessica: Not that I know of, no. I think like a hundred years ago, they were friends.
Loren: Exactly, a hundred years ago. We better get ‘em apart before we have another Xander/Cordelia disaster.
Jessica: You heard about that?
Loren (nods): Cordy and I have our girl time. So?
Jessica: Right, right. Angel is just playing with Spike. It’s not hard to do, that’s why I love him so much. Just take Angy upstairs, I’ll put Spike on ice.
Loren: Good plan, Ace. But it’s so fun to see Angel beat Spike’s ass.
Jessica: Dude, that was so not necessary.
Loren: Sorry, but its true.
Jessica: Whateva, dude. Just get him upstairs before *I* kick his ass.
Loren: Chill! Angel! Come on, let’s help Willow and Tara with... Whatever they might need help with...
Angel: Fine, but believe me, bastard, this is not over!
Spike: I’ll show you over-
Jess leaps at Spike, holding him back from attacking Angel.
Jessica: Babe, I have another plan.
Spike stops struggling and turns around in her arms.
Spike: And that would be?
Jessica: You need to get out of this moldy basement. What do you say to a night on the town? Some kitten poker?
Spike: I’m really not in the mood. Sodding Angel, destroys everything.
Jessica: Hey, don’t be so glum. You can hurl insults a hell of a lot better than him.
Spike: Yeah, maybe. Doesn't matter.
Jessica: Exactly. So what *do* you want to do?
Spike: Beat the fuc-
Jessica: Don’t say it.
Spike: Why the bleeding hell not? You wanna make me feel better, Jess?
Jessica: Of course. Anything. I do have ears... And eyes... And lips... And fingers-
Spike: Right. Everyone wants ot make Spikey *better*, they can’t settle with the package. Want something smarter, faster, bigger, nicer, more boy friendly.
Jessica: Hey, no one said that!
Spike: Yeah, but you didn’t have to.
Jessica: Where the *hell* did you get that idea?
Spike: Oh, don’t act like it’s not true. (Sticks out lower lip. Jess grabs it to his surprise.)
Jess: (with anger :-P) It’s *not* true. I *love* you, Spike. (Releases the lip prisoner)
Spike: Yeah, but you think you can change me. Not gonna happen, luv.
Jessica: No, I *know* I can change you. One problem, I don’t wanna. I like you just the way you are.
Spike: Right.
Jessica: Don’t you believe me? Well, maybe I’m not the one who’s not giving a 110% around here!
Spike: What’s that supposed to mean?
Jessica: I didn’t stutter, bitch.
Spike: See? (Points at Jessica) And you say *I’m* hard to handle?
Jessica: You are. Never said I was a joy train. And what does it matter? I thought you’d love me till the end of the world!
Cue THEME SONG
Spike: I will, I *do*! Jessica, look at me! (Jessica looks) Listen, luv. I’m sorry. You think I don’t love you? You think I haven’t tried not to? I’m so head-over-heels, I don’t think I could stand without you to lean on. I know I can never really tell you with words. I know I’m ruled by emotions, but then you’ll never forget how much I love you. I know I’m a bloody stupid bastard and I screw up more times than anyone can count, but you love me anyway. I can lie and cheat and pretend and I know you’ll be mad, but I know, even if I leave you, even if I *kill* you, you’ll love me until we’re both dust. And I know I’ll love you even after. First time I saw you, I knew. I know I say too much or too little, but I know you think it’s just right. Some people might judge us wrong, the pair of us, but I think you must know who I am. You’re a bloody stupid girl to fall in with me, but damn, am I ever glad you did.
Camera turns to Jess, who is staring at him with an O for a mouth and wide eyes.
Jessica: Shut up. Just... shut up. My turn. (Grabs him by the back of the head and pulls him into a smooch. :D) I’m sorry, Willy. I should just... This was stupid. But I know one thing. I may be unpredictable, and ‘different’, but I know you make me feel complete. I know if I ever wanted anything in my entire life, it was you. I know you make me a better person. I know I’m stronger than I ever have in been in my entire life.
Spike: All this said and done. (Spike rummages through duster pockets, pulling out a ring box. Jessica’s eyes widen. Spike gets down on one knee on the dusty basement floor.) I was gonna wait. You know, make it big, with the romantics, but you seem like the kind of bint that wouldn’t be seduced by fireworks and candlelight. If you love me, then you’ll love me here, now. So, Jess, what do you say?
Jessica: What... what am I supposed to say?
Spike: You’re supposed to say yes, dammit! I’m gonna live forever and I’m not interested in doing that without your ring on my finger. Just say it, luv. I’ll make it perfect, all you have to do is say yes.
Jessica; I love you, Spike, but... I’m twenty one! I... I have my whole life ahead of me. My whole life to spend... with you. Of course. Yeah, yeah William the Bloody, I love you enough to throw away my life. I love you enough. Yes.
Spike slides ring on her finger. Jessica just beams, no tears, just smiles.
Spike: You sure? I understand if you don’t-
Jessica: Shut up. I’m sure. Show Xander vampire weddings last forever.
Cue no music.
Spike: So now we have to plan. Got your bridesmaids living in the sodding house. And my groomsmen.
Jessica: Who you pickin’ for the best man?
Spike: Angel.
Jessica: What the fuc-
Spike: Don’t say it. I have to. Guy would do the same. Believe it or not, we have a bond above all others. Poofs like my bloody brother.
Jessica: Whatever you say. I don’t think Angel’s quite so sentimental.
Spike: Oh, you bloody tramp. Give a guy break.
Jessica: If you wanted a break, you wouldn’t be standing in this basement with me. You’d probably be role-playing with Harmony still.
Spike: Bloody glad you got me over Buffy. God, was I ever sad?
Jessica: You were, but that’s when I started really falling for you.
Spike: Had a lot of nerve. Thought you were a shy chit.
Jessica: You thought wrong Mister the Bloody. Is that gonna be my last name?
Spike: I was hopin’ I could take yours.
Jessica: William Williams?
Spike: Oh, right. But...
Jess: But what?
Spike: My last name is Shane.
Jessica: That’ll work, Spike. Who we gonna tell first?
Spike: Em... I’ll tell Buffy. You tell, hm, Xander. Guy seems kinda somber after he left Anya.
Jessica: Yeah, okay. But no sex. I will personally let her hurl wooden pointy objects at you.
Spike: Cross my heart and hope not to die.
END SCENE
SCENE FIVE, “Spuffy Fluff”
Buffy sits in room listenin’ to the radio. Here’s a knock on the door.
Buffy: Come on in!
Spike: Buffy?
Buffy: Hello, Spike. I thought you were done with your stalker fad.
Spike: No stalking. Wanted to tell you first.
Buffy: Tell me what?
Spike: Jess and I are-
Buffy: Spike! You go down there and get back together with that girl! I’ve seen how much you love each her and she love you more than-
Spike: Buffy, calm down. It’s nothing as melodramatic as all that. We’re engaged is what I was trying to say.
Buffy: W-what? You never proposed to me! I mean, I’m happy for her.
Spike: Not over me, huh? (Grins that sexy way)
Buffy: Never had to try. I never loved you, Spike. I am really happy for you. Glad you found someone you wanna be with for eternity. And I’m glad she said yes. She is a lucky girl. I’m sure you two will be great. Just promise me, are you sure you’re ready to settle down?
Spike: With Jess, I’ll never have to. Well, I see I’ve worn out my welcome.
Buffy: Never. I am happy, Spike. Go get your fiancee’ man! Make the best of being an unmarried man.
Spike: I know... Buffy, I love Jessica, but... I moved on, doesn't mean I ever stopped loving *you*. I know... I know now that you were missing what Jess has. I love her, Buffy. She is young, same age you were when you started banging me, but she loves me. You didn’t. This isn’t about spiting you, this isn’t about giving you an ultimatum, God knows you hate those, but what I’m saying it... I love her. I loved you. I don’t what I’m saying... Saying this to *you* is bloody confusing, but Jess is worth it.
Buffy: Spike, I know. You are in love forever or you aren’t at all. I know you’re in love with Jess. The two of you are madly, truly, passionately in love. And I’m *so* glad you have this chance. Don’t let me be the thing stopping you, Spike. Hey, four guys. If two end up married, that means I’ve done my job.
Spike: You are... You are a great chit, Buffy. But you never *my* chit.
Buffy: Why are you still here? Go get her, Spike! You know if need me, I’m here. To be your best friend. You got a soul for me, but you’re going to give it to her, you hear?
Spike gives her a loving glance then leaves. Buffy lays down on her bed, tears streaming down her cheeks.
Buffy: Isn’t love grand?
END SCENE
SCENE SIX, “More than A Friend”
Enter in now empty kitchen, Taylor standing alone. Andrew enters from the living room.
Taylor: Andrew! You wanna... I mean, are we like... done?
Andrew: Uh, Taylor? We never really were together in the first place.
Taylor: What are you talking about? Y-yes we were. You were...
Andrew: You can’t even say we were.
Taylor: But we could have been!
Andrew: No, no we couldn’t. We weren't’ together because I’m not straight.
Taylor: It doesn't matter! Just... J-just don’t be gay!
Andrew: See, this isn’t about me! This is about Jake. Who loves me like you didn’t.
Taylor: I l-love you.
Andrew: Look me in the eyes and say that.
Taylor: I-I can’t.
Andrew: Why? Never mind, I know why.
Taylor: Do you? Tell me ‘cause I sure don’t.
Andrew: Because it’s not true. Because you were never over Jake.
Taylor: I won’t be till I die.
Andrew: And that is why you got landed with me. Because nothing better came along for a long time, right?
Taylor: I can’t say no.
Andrew: You... You were never more than a friend to me, Taylor. Never. I should have realized that long before now, but I was as blind as you.
Taylor: I am blind. Doesn't mean I want you to go away and be with the man *I* deserve to be with !
Andrew: If you act like this, you don’t deserve to be with anyone. I can’t lie to everyone, Taylor. And I’m *really* tired of lying to myself.
Taylor: But I’m not done being lied to.
Andrew: Go find another more willing liar then. ‘Cause we’re done, sorry. If we ever even began.
Giles enters from the door Andrew exited.
Giles: Afternoon, Taylor.
Taylor: Hey, Giles. What’s up?
Giles: Did you hear the news?
Taylor: What news?
Giles: Spike and Jessica are getting married.
Taylor: Whoo-hoo.
Giles: You could sound happier for the girl who was your friend since fourth grade.
Taylor: I could sound happier, if I could ever be happy again.
Giles: Don’t so so glum. What happened? If... If I’m not out of place asking?
Taylor: Just... Jake and Andrew.
Giles: Oh, now I see. Well, what did you have to do with that?
Taylor: I have exactly two boyfriends. Both are gay. And with each other. Not really having to do with anything else *but* me. Am I just a homosexual magnet?
Giles: You have nothing to do with their sexuality. Nothing, I promise. That was how they were born. Well... That’s what I’ve heard said.
Taylor: To make people believe it’s true, you mean.
Giles: You know, you are determined to make life miserable, aren’t you?
Taylor: No, I just have a knack to see the worst in everything.
Giles: Not sure that’s a good thing. Might need to change that.
Cue THEME SONG
Taylor: And who exactly would be doing this changing?
Giles gets closer to Taylor, pinning her against the counter. (Yes, set peeps, I am aware that it is mobile, keep it bloody still.)
Giles: I rather thought I would.
Spike walks in the kitchen and immediately throws his arms up over his eyes.
Spike: Ah! Can’t a man walk anywhere without seeing things he wishes he *really*, *REALLY* didn’t! I’m melting, I’m melting!
Spike exits.
Giles: Toth. (Gives Taylor a little peck on the lips) We’ll leave off where we started when we don’t have duster clad perverts walking in.
Taylor: I’ll take you up on that, Rupert.
Giles: I always knew someday you would be more than a friend.
Loren enters as Giles exits. Taylor widens her eyes, hoping Loren hadn’t heard anything.
Loren (panting): You... Spike said... Giles... And.... The OMG worthy... Ah!
Taylor: What? I can’t understand... Me and Giles? What are you talking about? Gross.
Loren: Yeah, but Spike wouldn’t... Never mind. I shouldn’t have believed him. Sorry, I mean... Eww much. Are you even friends with Giles?
Loren exits and Taylor slides down to sit in a weird position on the ground against the counter.
Taylor (lips curling into a smile): More than friends.
Jessica enters and Taylor jumps to her feet.
Jessica: You can’t! Taylor, I thought you had problems when you started going out with Andrew, but... *Giles*?
Taylor: Congratulations.
Jessica: On what?
Taylor: Hello? Engagement?
Jessica: Oh, oh right. Thanks. But back on subject. *Giles*?
Taylor: If... If I tell you something...
Jessica: Never mind. Not listening. (Stuffs fingers in ears and walks away screaming ‘La la la’.)
Taylor: That always works with Jess.
END SCENE.
SCENE SEVEN, “ The Fred Gunn”
Enter in Dawn’s room where Fred and Gunn are temporarily hanging out.
Gunn: Em, alone at last. (Leans closer to Fred, who scoots away.)
Fred: I don’t... Gunn, I just want to *be* with you. Half of what we are is-
Gunn: What we say, I know.
Fred: Are you... Are you mad at me?
Gunn: No, no, baby. I just... I love you, is all. And if you want me to take it easy, I’ll come to a screeching halt if that’s what you want.
Fred: Em, you’re so sweet. But.... Gunn, its not... I love you.
Cue THEME SONG
Gunn: I know. But I never get tired of hearing it. (Gives her a kiss on the top of the head.)
Fred: Gunn, are you... Are we exclusive?
Gunn: Exclusive? What do you mean by exclusive?
Fred: You know, just us? No one else?
Gunn: I still don’t... We love each other. If that’s exclusive... I mean... I don’t understand, Fred.
Fred: I... Gunn, I don’t... I don’t feel this anymore. It’s so... done. This has to move. If it doesn't... Then where will it ever go?
Gunn: I *love* you, Fred!
Fred: Some people. they can’t... They have to stay... They love each other so much, they can’t be together. Like Buffy and Angel.
Gunn: But we *can* be together! We aren’t tragically in love, Fred. We’re together *now* and we can be till we die.
Fred: No, no we can’t. It won’t last. And before it caves in, I want to knock over the pillars. It doesn't mean... When we meet other people... We’ll see when we get apart. When we have time.
Gunn: Time? But I can’t... I can’t spend a second away from you...
Fred: I can’t do this, Gunn. It’s just... done. There is nothing here anymore. When... When we see what we’ve been missing, then maybe we can give that too each other. Is that... Is that all right? Does that sound-
Gunn: I love you.
Fred: I *know*! I *know*! But I... Gunn, I don’t even know if I love you anymore.
Gunn: W-what? You... You said... Fine, Fred. Time. I give you all the time in the world and you want more. So, I’ll just... I’ll give you the time you need to forget me.
Gunn exits.
Fred: Gunn! Gunn! Charles!
END SCENE
SCENE EIGHT, “The Newfound, The New Ending, The Happy, The Sad, The Lost, The Burned.”
Enter with all couples sitting in states of scatter around the room. Angel and Loren sitting side by side on the couch. Spike is sitting on the couch, Jessica on his lap. Andrew and Jake are sitting up against the wall, kind of wrapped around each other. Buffy is standing, Wesley is sitting in the chair, Gunn is leaning in the place I dub the Spike spot where he usually leans, Fred is standing a few feet away from the gay ones, Willow and Tara are standing behind Buffy hand in hand, Taylor and Giles are standing side by side, pretending not to notice the other, Dawn is standing next to Buffy, Lorne is standing all against the fire place, sipping a Sea Breeze, and Roger and Cordelia are standing next to each other, which they do a lot.
Buffy: I know the house is kind of crowded and there are a lot of private things now becoming public-
Spike: I’ll say!
Angel: It’s because you’re mother never taught you how to knock.
Spike: Don’t you start in on my mother. I never-
Buffy: The pair of you, stuff it. I was trying to say, today... I know it’s been hard, but we all love each other, right?
Mumbled “Yeah”.
Buffy: You guys! We’ve *all* known each other for *so* long! If we can’t say we love each other, then why the hell are we all living in my house?
Spike: I love you all!
Jessica turns around and smiles.
Jessica: You really didn’t have to say that, you know.
Spike: I... I didn’t... Me, say anything at all? No, way. You’re out of the mind.
Dawn: Doesn't matter. We all feel the same.
Spike: In this loving spirit, Angel, I have to ask you an important question.
Loren: OMG, I thought... Jess, are you too de-engaged?
Jessica: Ha ha, very funny. Let him ask.
Loren: Fine, whatever.
Angel: Waiting.
Spike: Right, right. Angel, will you be my best man?
Angel: W-what?
Spike: Will you be my best man at my wedding?
Angel: I don’t... I don’t know what to say...
Loren: Angel, this is not a proposal here. Are you or you aren’t you?
Angel: Sure.
Spike: Need more than sure.
Angel: Fine. Yes. Whatever.
Spike: Thank you. Thank you all. Love is a funny thing...
All ‘cept Mister Spike: Not again!
THE END!!!
Note**** I hope you liked this edition! Very... Emotional... PLEASE R&R ON THIS ONE! I WORKED *REALLY* HARD ON THIS ONE!!!!
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