R.o.a.U.K. Chapter 5
Falling Apart
Buffy sat listening to the gang and the potentials arguing about fighting strategy, but her mind lay elsewhere.
"So, what do you think Buff?" Xander asked looking at her.
"Huh?" she asked snapping back into reality, "Sorry...I just...I can't do this right now..." She got up and walked out of the room and up the stairs into her room. She sat in a corner feeling overwhelmed and began to cry into her hands.
"What's wrong, love?" Spike's soothing voice asked from the door. He had a look of sincere worry on his face. She looked up at him with lines down her cheeks from her make-up, "Nothing...please, just go away..."
He walked into the room and kneeled before her, "Come on, love, since when have I left when told to."
Her tears streamed down her face harder and she through herself into a hug with him.
"Spike..I..I," she sobbed, "I can't do this..."
"It's ok, pet," he said a little taken aback, "..I'm here." She felt the compfort of his embrace fill her body.
Spike's eyes were threatening to tear up a little too, "I'll always be here..." Xander walked up to the door to check on Buffy but stopped at the sight of her and Spike. He stared for a minute and then turned slowly and walked downstairs.
"Was Buffy ok?" Willow asked when he walked back down to them.
"No," he said realizing the sad truth, "I don't think she ever was..."
Buffy woke up on her bed; someone had taken off her shoes for her and tucked her in. She began to remember the happenings of that night. She had cried for what seemed like an eternity then she fell asleep in Spike's arms, again.
"The dead have arisen," Spike said from a chair in the corner, she had not noticed him due to lack of eye sight, her eyes where red and swollen and stinged slightly. "Look who's talking," she said sitting up, "Sorry about last night, I guess everything finally got to me..."
"Don't apologize, pet," he replied, "I'd have been worried about you if it hadn't." A small smile crossed her face at his kindness toward her.
"Spike, thank you," she said, her eyes softening, "I couldn't have done any of this without you."
"Yeah you could've, you got Willow, the whelp, and Giles...and the niblit, so you let out your anger on someone," he said with a smirk on his face.
"Yeah, but you're just as important to me as them. You're my strength...don't get me wrong I love the others, but you were always the one who gave me the strength to keep going. And I'm sorry...I love you," Buffy replied. She stood up and walking over to Spike.
"But I'm not in love with you," She had tears in her eyes as she said it, "I wish I could be, and I don't know why I'm not, but I just can't."
"I know you don't..." he said, tears in his eyes, "I guess I...I guess I always knew."
Later on the two sat in the living room with the scoobies as Dawn and the potentials slept; Spike leaned against a wall and Buffy sat on the couch. They were both avoiding eye contact with the other. Buffy stared at her coke on the table and Spike at the floor. They both where thinking of the things said earlier that day. They all sat, an awkward, uneasy silence falling over them.
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