Xander walked down the stairs quietly. Last night had been one of the few nights he had gotten a decent night's sleep. Finding Willow and Angel brought back a lot of memories. Some good. Some bad. Memories nonetheless.
Xander walked into the garden. Because of the castle, a huge shadow covered the whole area. It gave it a sense of coolness and calm. The floral scent that came from the garden overwhelmed his senses. He deeply inhaled the aroma. He could distinctly recognize the aroma of his favorite flower, violets. As he walked down the path, he saw another figure ahead, standing by a small pond. It was Angel.
Angel. There was so much he had to tell him. So much he had to say.
"Angel?" He asked quietly.
The vampire turned to him, his face hidden by the shadows.
"Hello Xander." Angel replied.
"Um, we have to talk." Xander said.
"I figure we do. You first." Angel responded.
Xander's brow furrowed. Angel sounded depressed. Disturbed.
Xander ran his hand through his hair and said, "I've been wanting to talk with you for a long time."
"Is that so?" Angel replied coolly.
"Uh, yeah." Xander said. "I wanted to thank you for what you did."
"Thank me?" Angel echoed, with a touch of amusement in his voice.
"Yeah." Xander answered. "For saving Willow. You were there when Buffy and I weren't. I know I treated you badly. I was a stupid kid who had a crush on my best friend. That doesn't excuse it, but I just feel that I shouldn't have gotten jealous. She is in love with you, not me. I learned to accept that."
Angel started laughing. Xander stared it amusement as Angel turned. Angel walked towards him and grinned. Suddenly his face transformed into his demonic, darker half.
"You son of a bitch." Angel growled.
Xander really didn't like the way this was going.
"You can just stand there and lie to me. Bastard. You think I wouldn't notice?" Angel asked.
Xander backed away and shifted into the defensive. Something he learned to do quickly in the past three years.
"You are thanking me? You're grateful? I save your friend. My friend. And this is how you thank me?!?!?!?!?!?!?" Angel screamed.
The 243 year old vampire lunged at him. Xander shot his foot up and connected with Angel's jaw. Angel fell back, but quickly recovered. He jumped towards him again. Xander grabbed Angel's arm and flipped him. Xander moved back quickly.
"Angel, what's with you?" Xander asked.
The vampire didn't reply as he lunged again. His fist connected with Xander's jaw, sending him reeling back through a bush. Xander landed painfully onto the ground. He quickly jumped back to his feet and was knocked down again as Angel punched him again. Xander landed on the ground with a groan.
Angel kneeled down next to him and growled, "I'm going to rip out your throat."
Angel brought his clawed hand down towards Xander's throat and grinned. Xander brought his hand up, connecting the object in it with Angel's face.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!" Angel screamed.
Xander pulled the small metal cross back from Angel's face. He dropped it onto the ground and rolled away. He silently thanked himself for putting it in his pocket this morning. He pulled himself up and realized his mouth was bleeding.
He turned around, but was slammed into by Angel. The vampire slammed him against the wall of the castle.
"Give it up boy." Angel growled.
Xander felt the rage build up in him. He was tired of this. Screw it.
"If you haven't noticed... I'm... not a boy!!" Xander yelled as he slammed his fist into Angel's jaw.
Xander followed up with a left to his gut. He swung his foot up and connected with the vampire's face. He bent his knees and jumped up, flipping behind Angel. He swung his foot back and kicked Angel's back, causing him to rush towards the wall.
Angel swung around and rushed him. Xander grabbed the vampire's hand and threw him with all his strength. Out of the shadows and into the sunlight. It took Xander a moment to realize what he had done, but he was too late.
Angel started to scream in agony. The sun was causing his skin to blister and boil. Xander rushed forward and shielded Angel's body with his own. He grabbed the vampire and dragged him into the shadow of the castle. He collapsed in exhaustion next to Angel's battered body.
"I'm sorry." Xander panted.
"For what?" Angel asked as his face morphed back to his human half.
"For everything. I don't know what I said that hurt you. But I'm sorry." Xander replied.
Angel looked up at him and said, "It's my fault. I... I just couldn't control myself. I love her so much."
"What?" Xander asked, perplexed.
"Do you know... what it's like to love someone so much, and have her in love with someone else?" Angel asked.
"I don't see where you're going with this. I mean Buffy loves you. Who else would she..." Xander trailed off.
Angel nodded and responded, "It's you. I saw it last night. The moment you collapsed, she was by your side. I was in pain from my wounds, but the love in her eyes for you, it was worse than any damage Falen could do."
Xander shook his head. He had felt something for Buffy once, but after her rejection, after Willow's disappearance, he had forgotten all of that. Now Angel was telling him that she was in love with him.
"No." Xander said.
Angel turned his healing face to Xander who was shaking his head.
"Buffy is in love with you. Has been, always shall be." Xander continued.
"But..." Angel began, but stopped when Xander flashed him with a look that obviously told him that the conversation was over.
Xander got up and bent down. He grabbed Angel's hand and helped him up. Together, they headed towards the castle. Xander and Angel shuffled into the dining room and were greeted by Buffy. Xander noticed Angel freeze. Buffy noticed it too, then noticed the condition they were in.
"What the hell happened to you guys?" She asked as she rose from her seat. "Was it vampires?"
Xander looked at Angel, who averted his gaze from Buffy and Xander.
"You could say that." Angel replied. "Um, Buffy. we need to talk."
Buffy nodded and replied, "Yeah. We do. Xander, would you excuse us?"
"Yeah, sure. Would any of you know where Willow is?" He asked.
At the mention of Willow's name, Xander noticed Buffy tense up.
Angel responded, "I think she is in the woods. Since daylight doesn't bother her, she likes to take walks in the woods. Sometimes I would go with her. It's fairly shaded in there."
Xander nodded and left the two alone to catch up. He walked outside and felt the warm sun shine on his face. He headed down the path towards the woods. As he walked under the towering trees, Xander noticed that the bleeding from his mouth had already stopped, and he was in good condition. All he had to worry about were some nasty bruises. As he headed down the path, he noticed a figure walking into the darker parts of the woods. It was Willow.
"Willow, wait up!" He yelled.
The girl stopped and he caught up with her.
"We have some catching up to do." He continued.
"We sure do."
Xander then noticed that Willow's voice was different. The figure turned around abruptly. It was a girl with red hair like Willow's, and she was amazingly beautiful.
"Who are you?" Xander asked cautiously.
The girl moved closer to Xander, till he was against a tree.
"I......" She started as she ran her finger down his chest. "am your worst nightmare."
The girl's face suddenly warped into the trademark demonic visage of a vampire. The girl grabbed his neck faster then he had ever seen anyone move. His vision started to blur badly as the female vampire pinned him against a tree.
"You're pretty careless for a guy I met just last night." The vampire said.
Xander then recognized the voice... Falen.
"This isn't possible... Falen is a guy." Xander choked out.
"Mortal minds are sooooooo fragile. Unable to figure out the most simple things. Well don't expect me to do that." The female Falen said as he pulled back his fist. "I'm not your token bad guy, gal, whatever. No spilling the beans for the plan from me."
And with that Falen released a wicked punch that blacked everything out in Xander Harris' life.
* * *
The vampire laid Xander's unconscious form into the make-shift cell. Falen grinned happily behind them. The vampire, who was named Nicholas, shifted his gaze at Falen. Nicholas didn't fear Falen as other vampires did. Falen was eerie, with powers that made other vampires look like mere mortals. At one time, Nicholas had feared Falen, a vampire who could morph from a man to a woman, but that fear was long gone. After what Falen had done to him, Nicholas had lost his fear of Falen. All he felt for the vampire was pity.
Falen caught his gaze and grinned. In her current female form, Falen was beautiful, but that was mere deception. A facade to the true evil that Falen was.
"What's the matter Nicholas? You do not approve?" Falen said as she sat down on the ground.
Her voice echoed in the cave, causing each word to resonate with power.
"You didn't need to bring the boy into this." Nicholas replied. "He's an innocent. Your argument is with The renegade vampire and the half-breed."
"He killed Adam." Falen replied with a sneer. "You yourself saw him behead Adam last night. Adam was one of us, and you try to protect the mortal."
Nicholas sneered at Falen and replied, "I'm not one of you. You know it. You made me what I am now. I can't help the way I feel."
Falen groaned and responded, "You disgust me. With your excuses of emotion. God, sometimes I regret the change I made to you."
Nicholas looked at Falen with surprise.
"You mean, you sometimes like the fact that I have morals?" He asked with absolute shock.
Falen grinned smugly and replied, "Of course. Who would I talk to if I hadn't?"
With that Falen walked off, leaving Nicholas with the unconscious Xander Harris.
* * *
Buffy walked with Angel into the library of the castle. He sat down on a ancient looking chair and gazed at her. Buffy felt the overwhelming urge to stand.
"What the hell happened out there?" She asked.
Angel sighed and replied, "Xander told you, vampires."
Buffy shook her head and said, "Ohhh, don't give me that. You're lying to me. I can feel it."
"Buffy..." Angel began.
"No. Tell me." Buffy interrupted.
"You don't understand..." Angel began again.
"Damn you, tell me!" She screamed.
"I did it! Damn it, I did it!" He screamed back. "I attacked him! I hurt him! I was jealous, and I tried to kill him!"
Buffy backed away, shocked, angry, sad.
"You?" She repeated. "You attacked him? Why?"
Angel looked down and said, "Because, you love him."
Buffy was even more taken aback by this answer then the previous one. She was still reeling from Willow's accusations yesterday. She had spent last night staring at her ceiling contemplating Willow's words.
* * *
Did she love Xander?
He was handsome.
Kind.
Funny.
Sensitive.
But did she love him?
No.
Yes.
Yes? Where did that come from? She never saw him as more then a friend. But where did that yes come from? When did she start feeling this way for Xander?
* * *
Buffy and Xander ran out of the school. Giles had dismissed them from a afternoon of training because he felt that they need time to relax. Unfortunately the day changed from a bright, sunny morning, to a stormy, raining afternoon.
That stuff is normal on the Hellmouth.
They ran through the rain, laughing. The cold rain seemed to wash away their worries and troubles. Or a few hours, they forgot about their responsibilities. Their worries. Their pains.
They ran through the rain acting like little children. They splashed each other by jumping in puddles on the way to Buffy's house. When they reached her house, Buffy had realized something.
Her house keys were in her locker.
Xander and Buffy sat on her stoop, in the rain, waiting for her mother. As the rain fell down on them, they both felt cold. They huddled their bodies together for warmth.
Buffy remembered how she looked up at Xander's light brown eyes, and felt complete bliss.
* * *
Buffy shook herself from her reverie. Angel looked at her with sadness.
"Do you love him?" Angel asked softly.
"No!" She yelled. "I don't love him."
Angel looked at her intently and replied, "Who's lying now?"
"I don't know if I love him." She whispered.
Angel nodded sadly and walked away, leaving Buffy alone in the large library.
* * *
Later that night, Cordelia walked into the dining hall. There sat Buffy, Angel, and Giles. Cordelia noticed that Buffy and Angel were glancing at each other sadly.
Cordelia took a seat by Giles and asked, "Where's Xander?"
Giles shook his head, indicating he had no clue. He replied, "I haven't seen him all day. I was in the castles cellar. It has many volumes or vampire lore and such. I was trying to gather information on our new acquaintance, Falen."
"You'll have no such luck."
The group turned as Willow entered the hall. Cordelia noticed Buffy tense slightly a the sight of the red-head. Willow in returned avoided looking at Buffy.
Willow looked directly at Giles and said, "I've done so much research, but could find nothing about Falen and his gang."
Buffy sighed and said, "Okay, let's get beyond that for an hour and have dinner."
She looked at Willow and asked, "Where's Xander? Is he upstairs getting changed?"
Willow gave Buffy a bitter look and responded, "How'd I know? I haven't seen him all day. I thought he'd be with you."
Cordelia watched Buffy's brow furrowed. She knew that look. Something was wrong.
"He went out this afternoon to look for you on the path. When he didn't come back, I assumed he was hanging with you." Buffy said.
Willow's brow furrowed this time. "I didn't see him. I was in town all day."
Buffy stood up and said, "Something's wrong. I can feel it."
She ran out of the dining hall, leaving the rest to follow.
* * *
Buffy walked into the garden, searching for Xander. Please let him be okay, she thought. I can't lose him.
Angel walked up beside her and said, "I sent Giles, Willow, and Cordelia to look through the path."
Buffy nodded silently and walked on. As she walked through the garden, she saw something next to a trampled bush. The moon light was reflecting off it's metal surface. As she grew closer, she recognized the object. It was Xander's cross. The one that Buffy had given him a year and a half ago.
"Why would Xander leave this here?" She asked aloud.
"He didn't. He used it on me. He must have left it here." Angel replied behind her.
"Buffy!" Cordelia screamed from the forest.
As fast as possible, Buffy was running towards the forest. She adrenaline was pumping like never before. As she approached the beams from the flashlights, she could see the sad faces of Cordelia, Giles, and Willow.
"What? What happened?" Buffy asked frantically.
Silently, Giles pointed to a tree. Buffy followed his gaze and spotted what they found. The ground by the tree was all messed up. Uprooted plants and the scuffled ground indicated that there had been a fight. And by the blood on the tree, she could tell it was a bad one.
"They have him." Buffy whispered out.
* * *
Xander woke up with a throbbing pain in his skull. He staggered up and leaned against a wall. He rubbed his eyes and saw that he was in a small room. The room was around six squared feet and was around eight feet tall. The walls were made of wood and sheetrock, while a iron door took up a good amount of space in one wall. The door was solid and big, something even Buffy would not be able to break through.
He pounded on the door, but abruptly stopped when the pounding seemed to make his headache worse. At that moment a figure appeared at the door.
"You're awake." The man said.
The man was Xander's height. He had short brown hair and piercing black eyes. His skin was the color of pale paper. Obviously from the lack of sunlight.
"Look Fang Boy. You so seriously do not want to mess with me." Xander growled.
The man ignored his comment and continued, "My name is Nicholas. Accept your predicament. You are Falen's prisoner. You can't escape. That door is made of solid iron."
Xander sighed and asked, "Where am I?"
Nicholas turned to him and replied, "You are in the caves. They were formed many years ago by a river that dried out. When your friends took our home, we had to live here."
Xander's eyes narrowed. This guy was no ordinary vampire. During the past two years, Xander had gotten a sense, an instinct that he had learned to trust.
"What are you?" Xander asked.
"More than you can possibly comprehend." Nicholas replied with his back turned.
"Try me." Xander responded angrily.
Nicholas turned and opened his mouth to speak, then quickly shut it. "Maybe some other time." With that, Nicholas turned around left, leaving Xander alone in the cell.
* * *
Buffy slammed her fist through the wall. She screamed in frustration. She slammed her fist through the wall again, creating another hole in the wall.
She turned towards Angel and screamed, "This is your fault!"
She jumped at him and slammed him against a wall. She punched him across the jaw, drawing blood. She pivoted her feet up, slamming them into his face. She was ready to deliver another punch, when a hand grasped her fist tightly. She turned around and saw Willow gripping her fist. Buffy spun around and kicked Willow in the stomach. She spun around again, slapping Willow across the face. She followed with a roundhouse kick that sent Willow flying into the door. She turned back to Angel, only to find him slumped against the wall. She pulled a stake from the back pocket of her jeans and stood over Angel.
"Buffy."
Buff turned at the mention of her name. She saw Giles and Cordelia walk in.
"Buffy this won't help." Cordelia said.
"It's his fault!" Buffy screamed. "If he hadn't attacked Xander, if hadn't made Xander lose his cross, he might have had a chance. But now Xander's in danger. He could be dead!"
Giles rushed up to her and grabbed her arms, causing her to drop her stake.
"Don't say that!" He yelled. "Don't even think it! He is alive. And with Falen and his horde, we need all the help we can get. That includes Angel."
Buffy ripped herself from Giles' grasp and looked back at Angel. The 242 year old immortal was on his feet and staring back.
"If he dies, God help you, because no one else will." Buffy stated and she walked out of the room.
As she walked down the halls, someone grabbed her arm. She spun around and faced Cordelia.
"Buffy..." Cordelia began.
"No. I blame him. It's his fault. If he hadn't been so damn jealous..." Buffy interrupted.
"Of what?" Cordelia asked.
Buffy opened her mouth to answer, but quickly closed it.
"Xander, right?" Cordelia guessed.
"Yes." Buffy murmured. "Angel thought I have feelings for him and attacked Xander."
"Do you?" Cordelia asked.
"What?" Buffy asked incredulously. "Of course not. He my friend. Only my friend. Totally platonic."
Cordelia sighed. She looked back at the room that they had left and turned back to Buffy.
"Buffy, you do." Cordelia said.
"What?" Buffy asked.
"Buffy, it is so obvious that you are in love with him. It is so obvious that you want to be with him." Cordelia said. "I saw it over a year ago. You love him."
Cordelia took Xander's cross and put it in Buffy's hand. Buffy looked silently at the cross and smiled weakly.
"Do you remember when I gave him this?" Buffy asked as she cradled the small cross.
"How can I forget? It was the Christmas after Willow and Angel left. Christmas." Cordelia replied.
"I remember..." Buffy began. "I remember how we all exchanged gifts in the library. Giles gave us a bunch of musty old books."
"Do you remember the faces we made after we unwrapped them?" Cordelia asked with a smile.
"Yeah. But I did read it. It was a great book." Buffy replied in a hushed tone.
"Mine too. I must have read it a dozen or so times over the past year alone." Cordelia replied. "Do you remember what Giles gave Xander?"
"Moby Dick." They both said in unison and laughed softly.
"You remember how after he read the book, he would walk around yelling, 'Where's dat whale?!'" Buffy asked with a grin.
Cordelia smiled and nodded.
"I remember Xander's gift to me." Cordelia said. "It was that ring he got from his trip to New York. I was so afraid around him. I felt that he thought I was trying to replace Willow. But when he gave me that ring, all those fears were washed away."
"How?" Buffy asked.
"I didn't tell you this, but the inside of the ring was engraved. It said 'To my friend, Love Xander'. As soon as I saw that, I knew that he considered me his friend." Cordelia responded.
The two stood silently for a while, when suddenly Buffy spoke.
"He gave me that jewelry box."
"Yeah, it was beautiful." Cordelia replied.
"I remember that when I unwrapped the box and saw it, I almost cried." Buffy said. "It was gorgeous. The crystal stone on it caused the light like a prism would. And when I opened it..."
"and it played 'Sorry' Nerf Herders..." Cordelia continued with a smile.
"I almost died!" Buffy said as she giggled. "It took him a week to change the balled in the box to it. He knew I loved that song, and he changed it."
Buffy turned around and stared out a nearby window. She heard Cordelia turn around and walk away towards Giles and the rest. Somewhere out there, Xander was being held captive by a dozen or two vampires. And they had to get ready for a battle. To save their friend. Her best friend. Her...
"I love him." She whispered softly to herself. "I love him with my whole heart."
With that final realization, Buffy turned around and headed towards the dinning room. She had to fight the battle of her life.
And Xander's.
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