Xander watched as the boy threw the ball at Willow. He half expected her to miss the catch. But he knew better. After all, he had been here. Once, years ago, as the boy that threw the ball. Hundreds times in his dreams, as a spectator. He knew how this dream always ended, but every time he hoped that it would change.
He watched silently as six year old Willow Rosenburg jumped up and caught the football. He grinned and walked up to the small redhead. He watched Willow smile smugly as a young Xander.
"Lucky catch." He heard the small boy mutter.
Xander's smile broadened as the little girl stuck her tongue out at the boy. He couldn't help but laugh as the boy stuck his tongue out in return.
Willow, being the mature one, stopped sticking her tongue out and indicated to the young Xander to go long. Xander's young counterpart ran across the street and stopped, indicating for Willow to throw the football. Young Willow Rosenburg launched the football with all her might as it flew across the street. But it didn't stop there. It went over the little boy's head and smashed into the window of the house young Xander was in front of.
"She always had an arm." Xander said, grinning.
At the same moment, his young counterpart said, "Ooooooooh, you're in trouble."
Xander watched as the two children ran, hoping they weren't see. Hoping they would not be caught.
It didn't help though, that the football had Xander's name and address scrawled on it. That night, the owner of the house and broken window came to Xander's house and told his mother. His father had been out of town. Again. And his mother took the easiest punishment, no TV, and punished Xander. Which was no biggie considering he could go watch anything at Willow's house.
Suddenly, everything around Xander shifted. It blurred for a couple seconds and then refocused. He now found himself in front of Sunnydale high. Whenever he had this dream, he would come to this moment, disoriented. It took him less then a minute to realize where and when he was.
"Excuse me. Coming through. Pardon me. Excuse me."
Xander turned around and saw a young boy on a skateboard move through the crowd of students. He also spotted the girl climbing out of the black car.
"Whoa! Excuse me." The boy said as he dodged the bodies around him. "I can't stop. Please move. Whoa! Excuse me."
Any second now, Xander thought.
"Whoa." The boy said as he spotted the pretty girl climbing up the steps. "Contact." Xander said, grinning at the site.
The boy then slammed into the handrail of the steps. Xander looked to his right and saw a redheaded girl look at the boy in amusement.
The girl was Willow and the boy was him. This was the day that they first met Buffy. This was the day, that their life changed forever.
"It's okay. I'm feel good." The teenager Xander said, trying to save face. He looked up and saw Willow grinning at him. "Willow. You're so very much the person I wanted to see." He said.
"Oh, really?" Willow replied, trying to repress the urge to laugh. Xander watched as his teenage counterpart got up and said, "Yeah. Ya know, I kinda had a problem with the math."
Willow's grin broadened and she asked, "Which part?"
"The math." The teenager responded. "Can you help me out tonight? Please be my study buddy."
"Well, what's in it for me?" Willow asked, trying to go along with Xander's jovial mood.
"A shiny nickel." Teenage Xander responded without batting a eye.
"Okay." Willow replied, giving up. "Do you have 'Theories in Trig'? You should check it out."
"Check it out?" Teenage Xander repeated, confused.
Willow grinned and responded, "From the Library. Where the books live."
Xander smiled as his counterpart smiled and replied, "Right. I'm there. See? I want to change."
Xander turned away as his counterpart and Willow walked into the school. He didn't want to see them meet up with Jesse. It was just too painful to bear.
He watched as his surroundings shifted again. Everything blurred, then refocused. He was now in a dark alley in Sunnydale. It took him a little while to realize that this was not a memory, but a real full fledged dream. He had always imagined that this was the way it happened, but he was never really prepared with the actions that unfolded.
No! He didn't want to see this again. But he had no choice as he saw Willow walk down the street. He could only silently scream as the vampires attacked her. He wept as the anointed one bit her neck and fed on her. He sat on the ground and cradled himself as he saw the Anointed one force Willow to suck his blood. He saw her tears as they dropped from her cheeks to the ground. The only thing he could do now was scream.
* * *
Xander felt someone shake him. Someone was screaming. It took him a while to realize that it was him. He squinted as he opened his eyes. Hovering over him was Buffy, Giles, and Cordelia. Buffy was holding him by his shoulders. And Giles and Cordelia were looking at him from their seats in front of him. He felt hot, salty tears falling down her cheeks. Buffy brought him close to her and hugged him reassuringly.
"The dream?" She asked softly.
Xander choked back a sob and nodded.
"It's okay. It's okay." She cooed. "Willow's okay. We'll find her."
All Xander could do was nod as Buffy slowly let go of him. She pushed him back into his seat and brought the blanket up so it covered him.
"Get some sleep." She said softly. Xander's eyes widened and he shook his head. "No." He replied. "No. I don't want to dream. I don't want to see it." "Don't worry." Buffy said as she ran her fingers through his hair. "I'm here. We're all here. Don't be afraid."
Something about Buffy's words caused him to relax. He laid back against the chair and closed his eyes.
* * *
Xander plunged the stake into the vampire's chest. He watched in satisfaction as the vampire burst into a shower of dust. He turned around and saw Buffy fighting some of the Anointed one's minions. He wanted to rush over and help his friend, but saw that others needed his help.
Xander rushed over to Giles and Cordelia, who were trying to keep three vampires at bay. Xander tackled one of the vampires and tried to shove a stake into the vampire's heart. But the vampire managed to throw Xander off before he could do anything.
As he landed onto the floor of the rooftop they were fighting on, Xander noticed that the wind was picking up. They needed to stop the Anointed one before he could open the Hellmouth. Xander got up, but was slammed to the ground again by a vampire. The vampire stood over him, with a predatory grin on it's face. It was about to tear him to shreds, when suddenly a liquid splashed onto it's face.
Xander turned away from the howling vampire and saw Cordelia standing behind him. She grinned at him as she held a bottle of holy water. Xander pulled a stake from his pocket and plunged it into the screaming vampire's chest. He turned around and saw Buffy finish off the last of the Anointed one's guards.
They all turned to the Anointed one who was looking at them with a smile.
"You're not going to win, ya little bloodsucker." Xander muttered as he approached the vampire.
The Anointed one looked at him and asked, "Tell me, have you heard from the redhead?"
Xander froze in his tracks at the vampire's question.
The Anointed one's eyes were glowing red. "Her name was Willow, wasn't it?" He asked mockingly.
Xander's resolve started to diminish. He still wasn't over the loss of Willow. This little bastard had hurt her, and Xander had not been there to stop it.
"Yes." The Anointed one said. "It was Willow. How could I forget? She had the tastiest A positive blood."
That last comment caused something in Xander to snap. He screamed at the little vampire.
"Why?!?!?!" He asked, screaming. "Why did you hurt her?"
Surprisingly, the Anointed one gave him an answer.
"I was thirsty." The Anointed replied with a grin. "You should have seen it. We attacked her. I bit down onto her neck, sucking her life's blood. When I was done, I made her bite into me. She was crying, but I think she enjoyed it."
Xander couldn't take anymore. He crumpled onto the ground, not wanting to hear anymore. He felt hot tears run down his cheeks. He watched as Buffy launched herself at the Anointed one. He really didn't care if she killed him. He didn't care about revenge. It had driven him for the last year, but now it didn't matter. All he could think about was what the Anointed one said.
"We attacked her."
"...sucked her life's blood."
"She was crying"
Xander fell into a rack of sobs. He dimly heard a scream as Buffy plunged a stake into the Anointed one's chest. He could tell that the Anointed one didn't really care about opening the Hellmouth. He could tell that this confrontation was really the Anointed one's way of torturing them.
It was all sick joke to him.
He cried even harder, letting a year's worth of pent-up emotion finally surface. He felt two arms wrap around him. Buffy's arms. He heard her crying as well. He felt her tears fall on his face. He could dimly hear Cordelia crying as well.
"It's okay." Giles whispered to Cordelia as he consoled her.
At the same time, he heard Buffy say softly to him, "It's over."
Silently, Xander acknowledged her statement. But he knew that it would never really be over.
* * *
Xander woke up with a start. He heard the flight attendant say, "Please buckle up as we are now about to land at Heathrow Airport."
Xander buckled his seatbelt absentmindedly. He was really thinking about the dream. Well, it was more a memory then a dream. That was the night that they had beaten the Anointed one. The night that the Hellmouth closed. The night that Xander let go of his hate and anger.
He looked over at Buffy, who was staring at him.
"I'm okay." Xander said softly.
Buffy nodded at him. Xander knew that she knew that he wasn't really okay. Neither of them were. They both had scars inside them that would never fully heal. Neither of them had really tried.
But it was time to make the first step. The first step of many to healing.
* * *
Buffy climbed out of the jeep that Giles had rented three days ago and pulled her coat closer to her body. England is beautiful and all, but one thing bothers her. The weather. I gets very cold and foggy at times. Even now, at four in the afternoon, it was cold. She, Xander, and Cordelia had complained about it, but to no avail. Giles would not be brought don't by their foul moods. He was back in his motherland. He was really in his element here.
"Giles, you sure this is Consworth?" Buffy asked as she shivered. Even in long jeans and a turtleneck, she was still uncomfortable.
Giles, who was wearing his usual slacks, vest, and jacket, turned to her and nodded.
"I was raised 75 miles from here. I know my way England. It's in America, I have a hard time." He said. "I don't know how Americans do it."
"We have maps." Cordelia responded as she rubbed her arms.
"Funny." Giles commented dryly.
"I thought so." Xander offered lightheartedly.
Buffy sighed and asked, "Where should we start first. Since this is the town that Xander traced Willow's call to, I figure that we should try and narrow down the list."
Giles nodded and replied, "Willow and Angel know that they should keep a low profile..."
At the mention of Angel's name, Buffy shivered. Not from the cold, but from memories. She hadn't seen him in two years, but she still felt something for him. I was hard to deny one's feelings, so she had buried them down. She still remembers the countless hours of crying over the loss of two of the people she cares about.
"Buffy?"
Buffy looked up and noticed that her friends were looking at her with concern.
"Um, I'm all right. Just thinkin'." She responded coolly.
Buffy knew that her friends didn't believe her. She couldn't blame them. She sounded lame trying to dismiss her lapse in attention.
Xander was still looking at her with concern. God bless him, Buffy thought. She realized a long time ago that she never tried to really get to know Xander. Not until Willow left. With him being her only friend left, she clung to him as he clung to her. They spent countless hours together. Crying. Laughing. They cried at their loss and laughed at the cherished memories. They made a promise to each other to never forget.
* * *
Buffy watched as Xander flung the glass at the wall. She watched it shatter into pieces as it connected to the wall.
"Xander." She pleaded softly.
But the boy ignored her. She watched helplessly as he tore up his room. It had been two months since Willow left. Two months since her attack. It that time, all of them crashed. Giles had become more closed off. Only associating with them when they had a demon to fight. She herself had taken her anger out on the demons and the darkness. She was becoming reckless and she knew it. Xander was ready to self-destruct as well.
The boy had lost a lot of weight since his friend's departure. Hell, they all had. But, he had become moody and bitter. Bursting out in sudden fits of rage. It seemed that only Buffy could calm him down.
Buffy had come earlier at the request of Xander's mom. The woman was worried about her son. With Xander's parents working all the time, they had grown worried of their son. They had come to rely on Buffy to help them. And she would gladly help them. Talking to Xander helped her as much as it helped him.
Finally, Xander collapsed onto the floor. He had spent up what little energy he had in his tantrum. Buffy walked up to him and placed a supportive hand on her friend's shoulder. Xander shrugged it off violently, not wanting to become close to anyone.
But the slayer would not give up. She knelt down and wrapped her arms around her friend. Xander tried to shrug her off again, but she held on firmly. After a couple moments, he gave up and sank into her arms.
"Oh god. I miss her Buffy." He said, weeping.
"I miss her too. But she wouldn't want us to do this." She said softly.
Xander sighed in her arms and replied, "She'd want us to live on. She'd want us to try and be happy."
Buffy smiled. Xander knew Willow so well. She slowly turned her friend around in her arms and looked into his eyes. Xander tried to avoid looking into her eyes, but finally he was staring back at her with those large brown, puppy-dog eyes.
"It'll be hard." She said solemnly.
"But we have to do it." He responded softly.
Buffy smiled and replied, "And we will."
She took Xander into her arms and hugged him. She held him for, what felt like hours. They cried a little. When they thought about their lost friend, they laughed a little. It was a step, in trying to live a little.
* * *
Buffy shook her head, shaking herself from her reverie. Luckily, her friends didn't notice her lapse of attention.
"Maybe we should ask the local grocer." Cordelia suggested hopefully.
Giles shook his head and responded, "Vampires don't eat. Well, except for blood."
Buffy watched as Xander tensed at Giles' comment.
"Willow's not a vampire." He said. "Besides, I think the grocer is a good idea."
"Yeah." Buffy chimed in. "Seeing that Willow is still part human."
Xander was nodding enthusiastically. "Whenever Willow is angry, she always drinks a cup of cocoa and snacks on peppermints." He said. Giles threw his hands up in defeat and replied, "Okay. Lets go to the grocer."
Buffy followed Giles as they made their way to a small store. As they entered, Buffy saw that the place looked like it was from the 1800's.
"Ewwwww. Moldy." Xander said as he stared at the loaves of bread in front of him.
"Really moldy." Cordelia commented as she looked at the fruit in the basket in front of her.
"Yuck." Buffy said as she ran her finger over a couple of ancient looking boxed cereals. She had picked up a ton of dust and grease from the top.
"Can I help you?"
Buffy turned at the sound of the new voice. Standing behind the counter was a man in his 40's or 50's. He was extremely skinny. He had a small fringe of graying red hair on his scalp. He was wearing an apron and a plaid shirt underneath.
"Hello." Giles said. "We were wondering if you can help us."
The old man looked back at them and replied, "You're not one of those fancy city folk. Trying to close down my business. I tell you the food is good here. Everyone shops here. I don't need a couple wanks coming in and bothering Simon Bell."
Giles nodded, trying to calm the man down. "You mistake our intentions sir. We are looking for someone."
"Sure. Sure. That's all you city wanks say. Then watch. Day after tomorrow a group of city folk come in and shut down Simon's little ol' grocery shop." Simon grumbled.
Giles sighed and pulled a photo out of his jacket pocket. It was the most recent picture of Willow that any of them had. Giles put in front of the ancient grocer and asked, "Have you seen this girl? She might have come into this town two years ago or just recently."
The elderly grocer looked at the picture intently. He cleared his throat and said, "Yeah. Yeah. I do know her. She's the one that orders the cocoa mix and peppermint."
"Do you know where she is?" Xander asked excitedly.
The old man paused then said, "Yeah. She lives at the old Cole place outside of town. She's there with her brother or something."
"Where is the 'Cole place'?" Cordelia asked.
"Um, it's eleven miles outside of town. On Miller's road. You can't miss it. It's huge." The old man replied.
Buffy saw that her friends were feeling the same thing she was. Pure joy. They were so close. The group quickly thanked the elderly grocer and ran out of the small shop. They ran to their jeep. Giles got into the driver's seat and practically ripped off. The jeep was pushing 60 as they rushed down the road.
After ten minutes they saw the top of a house over a group of trees. Giles slowed the jeep down and parked it by a small path. The path looked like it lead to the house. The group got out of the jeep and saw that the sun was almost gone. It was getting so dark that Giles pulled out a flashlight and clicked it on. The group started walking down the path, shining the flashlight in front of them. They watched in amazement as the house slowly emerged.
It was beautiful. It looked nothing like a house. It looked more like an old small castle. It looked like it had been recently renovated. It was two or three stories high. Surrounding the whole area, were hundreds of flowers.
"Holy god." Xander muttered.
"Whoever owns this must be loaded." Cordelia commented.
Then suddenly the flashlight winked out and they heard an audible crack.
"What happened?" Buffy asked, confused.
"I, um, I dropped the flashlight." Giles said sheepishly.
"Okay, no problem." Xander said. "Just follow the path."
The group slowly went down the path. They finally came upon a large garden. In this garden, there were hundreds of flowers. There was also a large trestle covered in flowers and ivy. The moonlight illuminated the whole garden in a blue light. As they walked through the garden, they paused at a small pond. The pond was surrounded by flowers and was next to a huge maze. But this was not what caught their attention. The moonlight shined on the pond also. But the effect was incredible. It was like the moonlight was reflecting off the pond, and shining all around them. It was gorgeous.
Suddenly, they heard the snap of a twig from behind them. The group turned and saw a small figure emerge from around the maze. The first thing Buffy noticed was the small bouquet of daisies in the girl's hands. Buffy then noticed the girl's auburn hair.
"Oh, my God." Xander muttered next to her.
Standing in front of them, not noticing them either, was Willow Rosenburg.
* * *
Buffy stared openmouthed at the scene in front of her. Willow looked as beautiful as she did two years ago. She did change though. The red-head had cut her hair to her shoulders. She didn't look that much older. Why should she? She's immortal now. But she was very different from the mousy looking girl she had known two years ago. Her friend was wearing a long white dress. Small pastel flowers covered the dress. Was this the same Willow?
* * *
Giles stared at the girl he had failed. She didn't notice them yet, but Giles and the rest of the group sure noticed her. She looked so different, but still remained the girl he called friend. The same girl, that he had hoped to be a watcher. That was impossible now. He filed those thoughts away. I can't think about lost hopes, Giles thought. All I can think about, is the friend I found.
* * *
Cordelia stared at Willow. Was this the same girl she tormented? The one she ridiculed? Cordelia felt horrible about that, but look at Willow now. She was beautiful, but then again Willow was always beautiful. In mind, body, and soul. She turned to her friends. They all looked shocked as hell. Who can blame them? They found someone who they had thought that they lost forever.
* * *
Xander stared at the girl he had known since he was a small boy. Sure she looked different, but she was Willow. She was his friend. Xander felt tears stream down his cheeks. After two years of pain and sorrow, he had found Willow. What can he say? Could he even speak?
"Willow?" Xander managed to croak out.
* * *
Willow looked up at the group at the mention of her name, still smiling from gardening earlier. Her smile faded as she recognized the people in front of her. She hadn't noticed them before, most probably because she wasn't used to people much. She lead such and isolated life over the past two years. Two years since...
She was attacked?
She was hurt?
She was changed?
She lost her family?
She lost her friends?
She lost everything?
Now they came back to haunt her. Willow felt the group of roses in her hands slip onto the ground. She brought her hands up to her mouth, not believing the sight in front of her. Since the day she left Sunnydale, she had imagined their faces. When she was in a crowd, she would see her family and friends' faces among them. But they never spoke before.
"Willow?" Xander asked again.
After two years, what can she say? What can she do?
She screamed.
She screamed and ran towards the group. Into Xander's arms. She felt his warm arms wrap around her. She felt his tears fall on her neck.
She slowly separated from him and asked, "What are you doing here? How did you find me? How did you know I was staying here?"
"Whoa, question girl." Buffy commented behind her.
Willow screamed again and leapt from Xander's arms. She pulled Buffy into a hug.
"Oh god. I missed you guys." Willow said with tears streaming down her cheeks.
They all turned as they heard someone trashing through the garden and jump in front of them. It was Angel. In his hand was a large sword.
"Angel." Buffy said softly.
Angel looked at her curiously, then recognized her. The sword fell from his hands as he looked at the group.
"Oh, wow." He managed to mutter.
Buffy released Willow and ran into Angel's arms. Her arms wrapped around his neck. She started to sob happily as he wrapped his strong arms around her.
"I... I can't believe it." Angel stammered.
"Don't you just love a class reunion?"
The group turned at the sound of the new voice. Just in time too. It was at that moment that a dark figure jumped down from a nearby tree. He was around six feet tall, and handsome in a dark way. His black hair was cut short. He gave the group a toothy smile.
"Falen." Willow murmured in a tone that caused Buffy and Xander tense up.
"Give the red-head a prize." Falen replied in a nasty tone. "Tell her what she's won Johnny. Well, Falen. The half-breed vampire has won... a bloody death at the hands of a nasty group of demons."
Suddenly, from behind Falen came a chorus of snarls. A large horde of vampires came into the moonlight, grinning evilly.
"Run." Willow said.
"What?" Buffy asked.
"Run, to the house. Now!" Willow screamed.
Angel picked up the sword laying at his feet and said, "I'll hold them off. Go!"
The horde snarled in unison and attacked...
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