Disclaimer: You know the drill. The characters and show belong to Joss. A wonderful, talented guy. WE LOVE YA MAN! And please don't sue me. I'm poor.
Comment: This is a sequel to Anya's story "Gone...", which I must say, is an incredible story! So, right now, all I can say is, ENJOY!
TIME LINE: Anya'a story was supposed to take place around now or in a few of weeks. I dunno. But my story takes place two years later, in the summer! KEEP THAT IN MIND!
WARNING: This isn't my usual, light-hearted, witty Buffy fic! It has some serious moments. And deals with the characters feelings. A lot! And I will be going where no person has gone before...
DEDICATED: To my grandmother, who died two years ago. To my grandfather, who died this morning.
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Part One
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Buffy looked up from her drink and saw Cordelia crossed the dance floor and sat down next to her. "Hey, you talk to Matt yet?" She asked smiling.
Cordelia shook her head and frowned. "What am I going to do?" She asked, pouting sadly. "He doesn't even notice me."
Buffy grinned while stirring her iced tea. Two years ago, Cordelia would have been the last person to ask her for anything. Buffy used to think that Cordelia had been a lot like her when she had gone to school in L.A. But, Buffy had changed, and so did Cordelia. Now she was sitting with her, considering her to be one of her best friends. Their friendship began on that day that Cordelia had come up and said she was sorry about Willow.
Willow. God, Buffy missed her. She would have graduated with us this morning. Probably as valedictorian. But, she didn't. She was off in Europe, with Angel, trying to work to stop her demonic feelings. And the guy who had been valedictorian instead, deserved it as much as Willow would have.
Alexander Harris. Valedictorian of the Sunnydale class of 99'. That junior year, Xander had become a new person. He had become the dedicated student. As had Buffy. He had gotten his low average to A+'s. She on the other hand, had to deal with monsters, and could only pull off a B+ average. Willow would have been proud. Buffy could still see Xander, on that podium, making his speech.
* * *
Xander stood nervously on stage. He coughed slightly, not knowing how to get the words out. But he did, "I didn't know what to say today. I mean, everything I wrote sounded silly. I didn't want to give the usual "We are moving into a new world" speech. And I couldn't think of anything that I could say today, that we all don't know now, until last night. So, I decided to tell you about a friend of mine. She told me that I was her best friend, despite everything that ever happened to us. She told me that my belief, my support, my teasing in her made her stronger. we had known each other all our lives. We played together as kids, we cared for each other as friends. She told me that I was many things to her. A big brother, a confident, a enemy, a hero, and a wonderful person. She told me that she loved me."
Xander sighed and continued, "It's funny. Because I can say the same things about her. Willow Rosenburg was the best friend I ever had. I have no doubt, that if she was here today, she would be standing on this podium, not me. No matter what she would have thought, she was the strongest person I have ever known."
Xander paused and looked down at the blank piece of paper in front of him. He didn't need a paper to remember what he had come up with last night. He knew the words. He knew the feelings. He felt warm tears fall down his cheeks, and land on the paper. He looked out at the huge crowd of people in front of him and continued, "So, I'm going to give you one last lesson. A lesson that was taught to me by my best friend. Be well, live well, be happy. Enjoy life to it's fullest, because life is so unpredictable. You never know what awaits you. You never really know."
Xander stepped back from the podium, towards the seats of the faculty. He felt a hand grip his shoulder reassuringly. Xander turned to Giles, who was smiling sadly.
"She would have been proud." Giles stated sadly.
Xander nodded and walked back to his seat, trying to see through his tears. He sat down next to Buffy, who was crying as well. In fact, many people were crying. He didn't hear principal Snyder begin calling the names. He just sat there, in his chair, holding Buffy's hand.
"Alexander Harris."
Xander slowly let go of Buffy's hand and walked towards the podium. If only Willow was here to see this.
* * *
Buffy shook herself out of her reverie and looked at Cordelia. Cordelia was smiling sadly, knowing what Buffy was thinking. Buffy brought her hand up, wiping away the tears.
She sniffled and asked, "So, seen Xander anywhere?" Cordelia shook her head and responded, "No, not since this afternoon." Buffy smiled and said, "He's probably off with his family, celebrating."
* * *
Buffy squinted as she opened her eyes. After being asleep for so long, the light was stinging her eyes. Soon her vision cleared, and she saw her mother standing over her, shaking her. She had an expression of sadness and worry on her face. Buffy looked out the window, and saw that it was still dark outside. She grabbed her alarm clock and saw that it was 5:36 in the morning.
"Mom?" Buffy asked horsely. "What, what's the matter? It's way too early for a bonding moment."
Joyce Summers didn't smile. Her expression was all too serious when she said, "Xander's mother is on the phone. She wants to talk to you."
Buffy stumbled out of bed and grabbed the phone from her. "Mrs. Harris? What's wrong?" Buffy asked, groggy.
The voice on the phone was panicky as Mrs. Harris replied, "It's Alexander. He didn't come home last night."
Buffy was immediately awake. One thing racing through her mind.
Oh, god. Not Xander too. I can't lose him...
* * *
Buffy ran through the park quickly, not knowing where she was going. It had been a hour since Mrs. Harris' frantic call. Buffy had called Cordelia and Giles and told them about what had happened. Right now they were all searching for their lost friend.
Buffy ran faster through the park, being pushed by an unseeing force that she had learned to trust. The sun was just rising and lit the sky in bright oranges and light reds. A beautiful sight, if one was not worried that her best friend was dead. As she ran through the path, Buffy pleaded upwards, to a higher force.
Please God, let Xander be okay. Don't take him away from me. I need him. I can't lose him. Please let him be alive.
A year earlier, they had stopped the anointed one from reopening the Hellmoth. The little bloodsucker had tried to accomplish where the master had failed. In the battle, the little bastard mocked them. He used their grief over Willow to disorient them. He gave them a step by step play of what they did to her. Xander had been so angry, at himself more than the anointed one, that he had started crying. He screamed at the anointed one, asking him why.
All the little bastard could do was smile, as if it was some big joke. A game.
That was all Buffy could take. She had launched herself at the little monster. Fought him and his minions. After a long battle, Buffy had finally beat the little demon. She had plunged the stake in the monster's heart herself. She watched in satisfaction as the anointed one erupted into a pile of dust. They had beat him. Punished him. Avenged what had happened to Willow. But the satisfaction soon turned to sadness as she hugged a sobbing Xander.
After that moment, the Hellmouth closed. Permanently. Sunnydale would still draw it's share of freakiness, but nothing the slayer and her slayerettes can't handle.
Or at least she thought. Now Xander was missing, maybe dead. He could be laying in a alley or a ditch somewhere. Buffy shook that though from her head. She needed to concentrate on finding Xander. She felt her legs move faster, the adrenaline pumping through her. Pushing her to find Xander.
She stopped suddenly as she approached the picnic area of the park. On a hill to her right was a picnic table and benches. More importantly, on a bench, with his back to her, was Xander.
She approached Xander slowly. He was looking intently at the sun, rising over the town. She sat down next to him, not knowing how to react to this site. If Xander noticed her, he did not show it. His hair was hanging over his brown, puppy dog eyes. His cheeks had dry tear trails down them. He was wearing a crumpled set of jeans and a blue T-shirt.
She placed a hand on his shoulder, trying to shake him from his trance. She felt the muscles underneath her hand tense.
"Xander?" She asked quietly
Xander didn't look at her as he said, "I figured you would find me." "Your parents are worried." Buffy said, concerned.
Xander laughed harshly as he replied, "They didn't care for me much before."
Buffy sighed as Xander gazed at the sun, peaking through the trees. It is true that Xander's parents wouldn't win a prize for their parental skills. Buffy had found out a couple months after Willow's "departure", that Xander had a pretty sad life. His father was a executive in a corporate firm in San Diego. He barely got home to visit Xander, except for holidays and such. His mother was a lawyer at Sunnydale's most prestigious law firm, and was rarely home. Xander would go home every night to a empty home. His family explained a lot about Xander though. It explained his need to be humorous and witty. It was his was of coping with all the things that happened to him.
"Xander, they do care." Buffy said, trying to cheer her best friend up.
But obviously Xander didn't feel like being cheered up as he replied, "Yeah. Sure. Whatever."
Buffy watched Xander's face as the orange glow of the morning sun illuminated his face. She could see the pain in his eyes. A fresh pain.
"Xander, what happened?" She asked, concerned. "You can tell me."
Xander looked at her finally. Tears were forming in the boy's eyes. Buffy brought her hand up to wipe away the tears that were now falling down his cheeks.
Xander sniffled as he turned away, trying to push away the feelings that were building in him. He looked away at the playground down the hill.
"You know." He said, sniffling. "Willow and I used to come here as kids. We would come here and play on the swings. I remember once, that I was on the monkey bars, and I fell. I had scraped my arm and I was crying like crazy. And Willow sat right next to me, crying too. Not for any real reason, just because it made us both feel better."
Buffy was growing more concerned now. She took Xander's face into her hands and turned it so they were looking at each other. Face to face. "Xander, please tell me what happened." She pleaded.
Xander sighed and brought his hands up. He placed them over hers and said, "After the graduation yesterday I went home and celebrated with my parents. Later on, when I was leaving so I could go to the bronze, a guy came to my house. He had flowers for me."
Xander brought down his hands and pulled out a small envelope from his pocket. He looked at it solemnly, then placed it in Buffy's hands. He looked up at her and said, "Read it. It came with the flowers."
Curiously, Buffy looked at the envelope. Typed on the front were two names. Xander and Buffy. She looked at Xander, who was staring at the ground, not wanting to look up, and she pulled a letter from the envelope. It was rather long and was obviously written with care. It took Buffy less then a second to realize the handwriting was Willow's.
* * *
Dear Xander and Buffy,
Hey, it's me. Long time no see huh? I realize that you never expected to hear from me again. But I figured that since this is such a special day, I would send you guys something. I realize that it's been two years, but you guys have been in my thoughts for that last couple years. I miss you guys. I miss my parents. I even miss Sunnydale. Can you believe it?
I wish I had been able to send you two something. Anything, to say I was okay. But I was scared it would open old wounds. I realize that Giles couldn't keep the secret I asked him to.
You guys would have found out anyway. Tell Giles that I'm all right with everything. Tell him I forgive him. It's okay with me, but you know Giles and his British honor. I know that you guy have been worried. But I want to tell you to something. Don't!!! I'm fine. I've been able to control my demonic side with Angel's help.
I want you guys to move on with your lives. No matter what!! Do whatever it takes!!! Heaven knows you two deserve it! I have to go now before I start crying harder than I am now. I love you guys. Tell Giles "Hi!"
With love, your friend,
Willow
* * *
Buffy put down Willow's letter. Warm, salty tears were streaming down her cheeks. She looked up at Xander who was crying too. She reached over and took him in her arms. For her sake as much as his own. After a long moment of crying on the other's shoulder, they separated at looked at each other.
"I'm leaving Sunnydale Buffy." Xander stated slowly.
Buffy looked at her best friend in astonishment and asked, "What? Why? When?"
"You forgot Where and How." Xander replied, chuckling. "I'm leaving in a couple days. I saved up enough money and I have to go. I have to find Willow."
Buffy shook her head and said, "She doesn't want to be found. And how could you even find her?"
Xander smiled and responded, "You forget. I am computer man now. I know where she is. I hacked into the telephone records and found out that a call came from a village in England to the flower shop. I have to find her."
Buffy looked into Xander's eyes and asked, "Why?"
Xander sighed and replied, "To say goodbye. I didn't get the chance to say goodbye to Jesse when he was taken. And I didn't get to say goodbye to Willow. But I have that chance now."
"If you are thinking of pledging your undying love for her..." Buffy started.
Xander shook his head and replied, "I wouldn't do that to her. She knows that I don't love her that way. I've known her my whole life. I have to say goodbye. She said that we had to move on. For my to move on, I have to say goodbye. I have to let her go."
Buffy sat there solemnly, pondering Xander's words. "I'm going with you." She stated.
Xander looked at her curiously and asked, "Uh, how? I know that you don't have any money."
Buffy looked at Xander smugly and responded, "My mom and dad are looking for a way to congratulate my graduation. I mean, for a while they thought I wouldn't make it to be a junior. This is perfect. And Giles could come with us. He misses Willow too. And he could translate for us."
Xander smiled and said, "Uh, Buffy. They speak English in England."
Buffy looked at him and replied, "I know that. But they have those cockney accents. And they are so very confusing."
Xander's smile broadened and he said, "Good point."
Buffy smiled proudly and walked away, with Xander in tow. They were going to find Willow. They were going to find their friend. And they both knew that neither would give up until they did.
* * *
Xander stood at the gate of the terminal waiting for the ever so late slayer and watcher. Cordelia was fidgeting next to him. For a cool, sophisticated girl, she's really afraid of flying. But, she had insisted on going with her friends to find Willow.
Friends. That was still strange to call Cordelia. It wasn't long ago that she would call him a loser in the halls of Sunnydale High. But that was behind them both now. In the two years that they had gotten to know each other, really know each other, they had grown to like each other.
Where was Buffy and Giles? Their plane leaves in fifteen minutes and they were now calling for the final passengers. He really wanted to go find Willow, but not without Buffy or Giles.
"Xander! Cordelia!"
Both Xander and Cordelia turned as their names were yelled out. Rushing towards them, toting four suitcases were Buffy and Giles.
He looked at them in mock exasperation and said, "It's about time! What took you so long."
Buffy grimaced and replied, "Do not blame me. It's all Giles' fault."
The three teens turned to Giles, who was quite flustered. "I,I forgot to put the water in the radiator." He said sheepishly
Buffy turned to her friends and nodded with a goofy smile. "Yeah, we were going down the interstate with steam pouring out under the hood. And Giles being the mechanic he is, tried to fix it when we were on St. Michael street. He didn't count on the steam burning him though." She said, indicating to Giles' bandaged hand.
"Excuse me for not being more technological. If I wanted to fix cars, I would have become the shop teacher." He muttered as they handed their tickets to the woman at the gate.
Buffy giggled and looked at the other teens. "Giles is a teacher alright. He taught me some interesting words when he burned his hand." She said, trying to hold back her laughter.
"Oh, shut up." Giles replied.
The three teens bursted into laughter as they boarded the plane. They gave their tickets to the flight attendant and were directed forward to their seats.
"Whoa. First class. How'd we get here?" Xander muttered.
The flight attendant smiled at them and left them to their seats.
"Giles? Did you dip into your "buy the new book of doom and prophecy" nest egg to buy these seats?" Buffy asked, grinning.
"Hardly." Giles said dryly.
"Um, it was me." Cordelia said.
Giles, Buffy, and Xander turned to Cordelia and asked in unison, "You?"
Cordelia grinned and replied, "Me. My dad is an executive for this airline. He pulled a few favors."
At that moment a flight attendant walked passed them. She was pushing a cart full of yummy-looking desserts.
Xander turned around quickly and grabbed Cordelia. He picked her up and gave her a big bear hug.
"Ohhhhh. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. THANK YOU!" He said, still holding her off the ground by a foot in a hug. He spun the giggling Cordelia for a few moments longer, and then placed her onto the floor.
"Your welcome." Cordelia said smiling, while brushing hair out of her face.
A flight attendant came up to the four and said, "Excuse me. I must ask you to take your seats. We'll be taking off soon.
The group took their seats and waited for their journey to begin. They have a friend to find.
* * *
Buffy read the book as the plane flew through the air. The book was called Joshua. It was by Joseph Girzone, a priest. Giles had given her the book as a gift. Not for any special reason, just because he wanted to. She was so into the book, that she didn't notice that Xander was staring at them. He was in the aisle seat in front of them, and was peeking over the side of his chair.
"Xander, what is it?" Cordelia asked as she lowered her magazine.
"Wanna switch seats?" He asked with a mischievous smile on his face.
Cordelia looked at him and smiled. Buffy could tell that she was going to make this hard on Xander. But, something about Xander's expression indicated that he had trick or two up his sleeve.
"Why would I do that?" Cordelia asked, grinning.
Xander returned the grin and disappeared for a second. "I have something to make the deal sweeter." He said smiling.
"What?" She asked.
Xander pulled a small pastry the size of his hand. It was flaky and had a strawberry on the top. Xander grinned at Cordelia's expression. It was a look of desire and hunger.
"Well looky here. It's a strawberry and cream cheese flaky pastry. Strawberries are your favorite if I'm not mistaken." Xander said mischievously.
"You are so mean." Buffy said, smiling.
Xander looked at Buffy and said, "I know." He turned back to Cordelia and said, "You can just hear the calories and fat. 'Eat me Cordelia! I may be bad for your diet, but good for your soul!'"
Cordelia sighed and gave up exasperated. She knew that between Xander's pestering and the pastry, she was outnumbered. She got up and resigned her seat to a smug Xander. He handed her the pastry as he sat next to Buffy and watched at Cordelia started on the yummy treat.
Buffy looked at him, shook her head, and grinned. "That was really mean you know. She couldn't have fought that." Buffy said.
Xander returned her grin and replied, "I know. It took every ounce of willpower to keep myself from eating it myself. But desperate times call for desperate measure."
"Really?" Buffy asked as a flight attendant gave them two pillows and a blankets. "What is so bad that you have to torture Cordelia?"
"Giles." Xander stated as he shoved a pillow behind him. "He dozed off a hour into the flight. He was reading one of his freaky tomes of knowledge and nodded off. He's not really talkative when he's asleep."
Buffy got serious when Xander mentioned talking. She could tell something was bothering him. The same something that has bothered him for the past two years. But now, he was really showing it.
"Okay Xander." She said as she closed her book and placed it on her lap. "Share. You're all jittery."
Xander brought his hand up and rubbed the bridge of his nose. He looked out the window that was by Buffy and saw that it was dark outside.
"Oh, nothing. Just that monster on the wing!" He yelped.
Out of pure force of habit, Buffy swung around in her seat and looked out the window. Of course there was no monster on the wing. Xander was laughing behind her as she gave him a dirty look. She took her pillow and slammed it into his face.
"Okay, first of all, that was not funny." She said as she took her pillow and placed it underneath her head. "That episode of the Twilight Zone was creepy. Second, there are people trying to sleep here."
"Sorry." He responded with a grin.
"I'm not done. I know something is bothering you. Tell me." She said, worried.
Xander sighed unhappily and replied, "Fine, fine. I'll tell you."
He ran his hand through his hair and started, "Ever since Willow disappeared, I've been having a..."
"Go on." Buffy urged.
"In my dreams, I can see her." He whispered. "I see her as a child, I see her throughout my dreams. Growing. I can see everything we've done in my dream. It always ends the same way. I see her walking down a street. I watch helplessly as the vampires attack her. I scream as they hurt her. Then I wake up, still screaming."
"Oh, Xander." Buffy murmured.
"I should have been there for her." He said angrily.
Buffy knew what he was feeling. She had felt the same way for so long. But she learned to let that go. She knew it wasn't her fault. It wasn't Xander's either.
"You couldn't have known-" She started.
"No." He interrupted. "I should have. I knew it wasn't safe in Sunnydale. I knew she would be alone. I should have been there. I am her friend, and because of my need for a family vacation, I left her alone."
"Xander, she understands why you went with your parents." Buffy replied while shaking her head. "She knows that you rarely see them. That you feel alone. She knows that you needed to spend time with your mom and dad."
Buffy brought her hand up and pulled a few stray hairs from Xander's eyes.
"We'll find her. And when we do, she'll tell you the same things I said." She said softly.
She placed her head on Xander's shoulder and said, "We'll find her. You can't give up hope."
"I won't." Xander responded as they both drifted off to sleep.
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